The Ex-Files – You Can’t Cut Noodles In A Bowl!

It had been an extremely busy day! I was running a Day Care in our home so that I could pay the rent and put food on the table. Since CP wasn’t working I really had no choice. He was too good to go out and find a job, any job, to keep our heads above water. He was resigned to sitting and waiting for his last employer to call him back to work. He had been laid off for months! Landlords want to be paid. Kids need to be fed. What the hell is wrong with this man?

On this particular day, I had 7 kids altogether, two of them were my own. I was taking care of kids ranging from 8 months old to 5 years. I wasn’t just babysitting. I ran my Day Care like a preschool. We had planned activities throughout each day. I didn’t want the kids getting bored and I wanted them to go home having learned something and ready to tell their moms what they did at Debbie’s house that day. I didn’t want them just sitting in front of the tv all day.

The last kid was picked up at 5:00pm and that was my time to prepare dinner for my family. CP came home around 5:30pm and normally I had dinner on the table at just the right time. If he decided to eat, that is. More than half the time he just went to bed. There was never any conversation or interaction between me and CP or he and the kids. His job was finished, so ended his responsibilities for the day.

This day, however, he showered and actually sat down to have dinner with us. It wasn’t anything fancy. Grilled cheese sandwiches and ramen noodles, simple and filling. My daughter was about 5 and my son, 2. They were hungry from playing and socializing all day. I always got my son’s food ready first because he was smaller and just couldn’t wait as long as my daughter. I gave him 1/2 a sandwich and a bowl of ramen that I had let cool and cut into shorter pieces. Those noodles could be quite long and hard for little kids to eat.

My daughter was anxious for her food, but her sandwich was still in the pan. The ramen noodles were done so I scooped her up a helping. I sat it on the table near CP and asked him if he could please cut her noodles for her. His answer was remarkably stupid and I’ll never forget it. He said, “You can’t cut noodles in a bowl!” I asked, “Why the hell not?” He just looked at me and pushed the bowl over to our daughter. I was pissed. I grabbed a fork and a table knife and marched over to the table. I proceeded to cut the noodles as if I were cutting a steak. Then I moved the noodles around and repeated the same thing. I said to CP, “That’s how you cut noodles in a bowl. You’d think I could get just a little help from time to time because as you can smell, I’ve just burned SR’s sandwich.” I gave him the burned sandwich and started a new one for SR.

He ate his burned sandwich and as we’ve established in the last posting of The Ex Files, he was too big of a coward to say or do anything. Oh, except pout. He pouted while he ate and then he went to bed. Goodnight, asshole.

Throwback Thursday

I’m always finding the funniest and most amusing memes, jokes, and other misc. things on Facebook. This little diddy, for example. I got to reading the comments and was blown away by some hilarious stories!! It brought back a funny story of my own. Continue below.


When my son was about 3 years old he was a handful. He spoke better than my daughter did at that age because she had problems with ear infections and just didn’t hear things correctly to be able to repeat them correctly. My son looked up to her and repeated words that she said incorrectly, such as pupcake (cupcake), pupboard (cupboard), wunny wun (another one), and a few others.

My son being MY son, came up with a few of his own. He spoke well, but there were a few things that just slipped him up.

For example, at the babysitter’s house, he kept saying what the sitter thought was the word ‘fuck’. When she told me about it, I asked her what was going on at the time. She said they (her son and mine) were playing with little animals. I asked, “Was one of those little animals a frog?” She said it all made sense after that because the two boys had a bit of an argument over the frog. So ‘frog’ it was. Thank goodness!

Now, this next story was a little embarrassing for me at the time. (If it were to happen now, I’d think nothing of it…because I’m just too old to give a rat’s ass now. Ha!) We used to live across the street from a big park when we lived in California. The kids’ aunt worked the concession stand during ball games and I used to take the kids over to say hello. Of course, my ex didn’t participate like with everything else I planned, but that’s a whole different ball game.

Anyway, the kids and I went across the street and saw Aunt Joan. While we were there, a fire engine raced by with the sirens screeching and the horns blaring! My son always got so excited when he saw fire trucks but this was the first time one had been in his presence making so much noise! He started screaming and pointing! Remember now, we are at the park during a ballgame and people were everywhere! My son started screaming at the top of his lungs for all to hear, “Fucka! Fucka! Fucka!” It seemed that every head turned and looked at my boy who was so damn happy to have seen this rare sight, and then all their eyes were on me. I thought to myself, surely they understand what has just happened and that he must’ve been saying fire truck! Apparently not. I started yelling at them, “He said FIRETRUCK! FIRETRUCK!” It wasn’t too funny at the time, but afterward…and even now.

Isn’t it funny how kids can say things so wrong and create such great memories and laughter? I bet you have a few great stories to tell about your kids, too! I’d love to hear them!

Oh Little Christmas Tree, Will Jack Pee on Thee?

The last time I wrote in my blog, I was wrapped up in a blanket of depression. Thanksgiving was calm, just Dad and I, but I was depressed that my kids and grandkids weren’t with us just like every holiday for the last 8 years. We were able to have lunch out the Saturday following Thanksgiving with my son, his wife, and my newest grandbaby, though. That helped my mood and I have tried very hard ever since to have a little more holiday cheer.

I really despise Christmas. I was never crazy about the concept but always made memories with my kids when they were growing up. Following old family traditions and creating a few of my own, we always had a good time. I’m not a religious person, nor will I ever be, but my kids were taught that the reason we celebrate Christmas is Jesus. Funny though, December 25th isn’t even the correct birthdate, but I digress.

Christmas has become so commercialized that it just sucks the life out of me. People have become so greedy and they’ve raised their kids to be greedy little monsters, too. Not all, but I’m sure you know the ones. This year I have done all of my shopping online. Why go out and deal with the greed, crowds, and noise? I’m keeping everything small and simple this year. Just a few gifts, some homemade, some store bought will be placed around a 2 ft. tree (ordered online) on my kitchen table draped with a purple tablecloth. The tree will have a few purple lights to make it more festive but the large white tree and all of my ornaments and decor will stay in storage. I just don’t have the energy for that much hoopla. Especially since the house won’t be full of kids and grandkids, maybe just my son and his little family, or maybe…just cats….which leaves me with the thought, will Jack pee on my little tree? He’s the only cat that goes outside and he’s been neutered, but I have seen him mark his territory outside on trees, my car, the side of the house, etc. I’ll let you know how my little tree fares. As for Christmas eats… I will try my damnedest to do my traditional Christmas Eve pizza, pizza balls, and popcorn cake, all homemade. Christmas Day dinner will include ham and not sure what else yet, but lots of goodies for snacking. (Isn’t that the best part anyway?) Keep your fingers crossed that my pain level stays…well, level with no spikes for at least that week of Christmas.

I’m taking a break (for the most part) from social media and blogging. I want to change the look of my blog, so I hope to do a little work on it during the next few weeks. I will leave you now with a few Christmas funnies (since I’ve missed the last 2 weeks of Friday’s Funnies) and who knows, I may just have another installment of these before Christmas! Enjoy!






















Have a great week, everyone!

Being Fluffy

Many years ago, I worked in my daughter’s 1st-grade class as an aide. It was recess time and I was outside supervising the kids. There were some boys in the class making fun of another little girl who was a bit on the heavy side. They were laughing and calling her names like, “fat” and “fatso” and a few other fat-related names. I stopped them and asked them, “I’m fat. Does that make me a bad person?” They said, “No.” I continued, “I still have feelings even though I’m fat, don’t I?” They agreed. A little girl standing next to me, chimed in. “You’re not fat Miss Debbie! You’re fluffy!” We all laughed and I gave the little girl a big hug. I thanked her for being so sweet.

I went on to explain to the kids that everyone is different; some skinny, some a little bigger, some tall, some short, some with red hair, some with green eyes…. Everyone is different in their own way…..


An Old Post, Revisited

I was reading some of my older posts and thought since I kept my blog private back then, I would pick a few to re-share. Some may be too painful for me to post again, but we’ll see how things go.

The following post was from 8 years ago and a rather amusing kid moment. Enjoy!