Long time, no post. I know. It’s been a rough…year…month…week. Take your pick. Details in another post. For today, I just want to smile and laugh a little. Maybe you do, too.
This week’s collection is all about that pain in the ass, Elf on a Shelf. He’s a nasty little elf and always up to no good! If you’re easily offended then you’d better skip this post! Otherwise, enjoy!
So, there’s the entire batch! Some have been circulating for a long while and some are newer. Which one was your favorite? Personally, I like the last one! I’d give the kitty a treat for getting rid of that little bugger!
I’m glad my kids are grown because I don’t think I’d want to deal with this elf on a shelf garbage! I don’t know, maybe it would have been fun back in the day. Do you do this with your kids? Grandkids?
I hope you’re all doing well. Have a super weekend, everyone! Get your holiday shopping done before it gets too crazy! Be safe, not sorry.
Until next time,
The first year CP and I were together, I still lived at home with my parents and he lived with one of his uncles. He was broke all the time because he couldn’t keep a job for very long. Of course, it was never his fault…but that’s another story.
When Christmas rolled around, CP didn’t know what to do about a gift for me. He supposedly wanted to do something special but he had no idea what since he was broke. Somehow, between my mom and CP, they came up with an idea. My mom gave him a big chunk of wood that was going to be used for firewood but it was small enough that it wouldn’t be missed. I had no idea what was going on but CP took that block of wood (approx. 6″ x 8″) and decided to carve that block into a heart. He worked on it for weeks but he was slower than a seven-year-itch, with anything he ever did.
Come Christmas time, it wasn’t finished. He still wrapped it up and gave it to me on Christmas Day. When I opened it, I sat with a dumbfounded look on my face because I had no idea what the hell it was. He told me it wasn’t finished (hmm, never would have guessed that) and that it was going to be a heart-shaped clock. He would buy the clock workings when he had it shaped just right. It didn’t even look like a heart yet, but it was a nice gesture. I thought it was a beautiful gift, finished or not. In fact, it was probably the nicest gift he had ever given me…
But as the years went on he never finished it. It sat on the bookcase holding books steady or the top of my dresser or some other spot I decided to put it, moving it from house to house as we moved. I had hoped he would someday pick it up and finish it. That day never came. That unfinished clock meant the world to me for several years. When I left him in California, I left the unfinished, heart-shaped wooden clock there, on his dresser so he could see it.
It no longer meant anything to me.
Today, while Dad and I were out picking up a few groceries, we decided to stop at the Dollar Tree. Oh, how I love the Dollar Tree! Some people I know just shiver at the thought of going into a Dollar Tree. I don’t know why! They have some really great finds there! Just make sure your food items are not coming from China and you’ll be ok. Other things like make-up, facial care, and baby items I would be a little careful with as well. All in all, if a person HAD to (which some of us may someday) we could get pretty much everything we need to survive. But I digress. I always do that!
The store was pretty crowded as you can imagine. Most places will be this close to Christmas. We grabbed what we needed pretty quickly and headed to the checkout line. There was one young woman, probably in her early 30’s in front of us in line. She was having a hard time with her debit (or credit) card. It kept being declined and she couldn’t understand why. She ran it 3 or 4 times and still, declined. She didn’t have any cash on her. There was a woman behind us in line (probably in her 50’s) and she quickly asked how much the young woman’s tab was. It was a mere $4.00 and some change. She (the woman behind us) said, “I got it!” She pulled out a $5 and paid for the young woman. It was very nice, and although not very much money, the young woman insisted on a hug and thanked the generous woman for her help. It was heartwarming to see something like this in person.
It has me bothered though. It got me thinking… Those old rickety wheels of mine started turning. I wondered if I had had cash, would I have thought to help the young woman? I’d like to think I would BUT it never occurred to me while standing there like a dunce, if I had cash I would pay her tab. The thought never entered my mind. Does that make me a bad person? It sure made me feel like an asshole, but this isn’t about me.
We are all so wrapped up in our own lives and in a rush, especially this time of year. We need to slow down and be helpful and kind. Everyone is trying so hard to get things done, to be somewhere on time, or trying to take care of their families. We all have “stuff” to do but it won’t hurt us to slow down a little. It won’t kill us to be more helpful, more kind, and perhaps a bit more generous.
Have a wonderful week ahead, my friends. Enjoy family and food… If things get rough please refer to my last post and have a Merry Christmas!
Photo by Roman Koval on Pexels.com
Yep, you read that right! This week’s funnies are entirely dedicated to alcohol and the holidays! What would we do without it? Some of us would strangle our own mothers, kill our co-workers at the office party, cold-cock the husband with a cast-iron skillet, or ram the neighbors’ giant lighted Santa up their asses because it feels like Clark Griswold’s family just moved in next door….without the aid of our long-time friend, alcohol.
Alcohol can’t solve our problems, but it sure can make parties more fun, relatives more tolerable, and well, you know! Alcohol can even make a headache go away…ahem. If you drink enough of it, that is! But be sure to stay home or have a designated driver! Please drink responsibly!
Ok, now on to this week’s funnies. Enjoy!
Think about poor Santa! How much alcohol do you think he needs to get through the holidays?!
Bottom’s up, my friends! Have a wonderful weekend and an even better Christmas! Don’t forget to spread that wonderful holiday cheer around! *Snort*