The Ex-Files – The Wooden Clock

The first year CP and I were together, I still lived at home with my parents and he lived with one of his uncles. He was broke all the time because he couldn’t keep a job for very long. Of course, it was never his fault…but that’s another story.

When Christmas rolled around, CP didn’t know what to do about a gift for me. He supposedly wanted to do something special but he had no idea what since he was broke. Somehow, between my mom and CP, they came up with an idea. My mom gave him a big chunk of wood that was going to be used for firewood but it was small enough that it wouldn’t be missed. I had no idea what was going on but CP took that block of wood (approx. 6″ x 8″) and decided to carve that block into a heart. He worked on it for weeks but he was slower than a seven-year-itch, with anything he ever did.

Come Christmas time, it wasn’t finished. He still wrapped it up and gave it to me on Christmas Day. When I opened it, I sat with a dumbfounded look on my face because I had no idea what the hell it was. He told me it wasn’t finished (hmm, never would have guessed that) and that it was going to be a heart-shaped clock. He would buy the clock workings when he had it shaped just right. It didn’t even look like a heart yet, but it was a nice gesture. I thought it was a beautiful gift, finished or not. In fact, it was probably the nicest gift he had ever given me…

But as the years went on he never finished it. It sat on the bookcase holding books steady or the top of my dresser or some other spot I decided to put it, moving it from house to house as we moved. I had hoped he would someday pick it up and finish it. That day never came. That unfinished clock meant the world to me for several years. When I left him in California, I left the unfinished, heart-shaped wooden clock there, on his dresser so he could see it.

It no longer meant anything to me.

Generosity and Kindness

Today, while Dad and I were out picking up a few groceries, we decided to stop at the Dollar Tree. Oh, how I love the Dollar Tree! Some people I know just shiver at the thought of going into a Dollar Tree. I don’t know why! They have some really great finds there! Just make sure your food items are not coming from China and you’ll be ok. Other things like make-up, facial care, and baby items I would be a little careful with as well. All in all, if a person HAD to (which some of us may someday) we could get pretty much everything we need to survive. But I digress. I always do that!

The store was pretty crowded as you can imagine. Most places will be this close to Christmas. We grabbed what we needed pretty quickly and headed to the checkout line. There was one young woman, probably in her early 30’s in front of us in line. She was having a hard time with her debit (or credit) card. It kept being declined and she couldn’t understand why. She ran it 3 or 4 times and still, declined. She didn’t have any cash on her. There was a woman behind us in line (probably in her 50’s) and she quickly asked how much the young woman’s tab was. It was a mere $4.00 and some change. She (the woman behind us) said, “I got it!” She pulled out a $5 and paid for the young woman. It was very nice, and although not very much money, the young woman insisted on a hug and thanked the generous woman for her help. It was heartwarming to see something like this in person.

It has me bothered though. It got me thinking… Those old rickety wheels of mine started turning. I wondered if I had had cash, would I have thought to help the young woman? I’d like to think I would BUT it never occurred to me while standing there like a dunce, if I had cash I would pay her tab. The thought never entered my mind. Does that make me a bad person? It sure made me feel like an asshole, but this isn’t about me.

We are all so wrapped up in our own lives and in a rush, especially this time of year. We need to slow down and be helpful and kind. Everyone is trying so hard to get things done, to be somewhere on time, or trying to take care of their families. We all have “stuff” to do but it won’t hurt us to slow down a little. It won’t kill us to be more helpful, more kind, and perhaps a bit more generous.

Have a wonderful week ahead, my friends. Enjoy family and food… If things get rough please refer to my last post and have a Merry Christmas!

red merry christmas printed mug

Photo by Roman Koval on

Friday’s Funnies – Christmas Edition #3 – A Tribute To Alcohol

Yep, you read that right! This week’s funnies are entirely dedicated to alcohol and the holidays! What would we do without it? Some of us would strangle our own mothers, kill our co-workers at the office party, cold-cock the husband with a cast-iron skillet, or ram the neighbors’ giant lighted Santa up their asses because it feels like Clark Griswold’s family just moved in next door….without the aid of our long-time friend, alcohol.


Alcohol can’t solve our problems, but it sure can make parties more fun, relatives more tolerable, and well, you know! Alcohol can even make a headache go away…ahem. If you drink enough of it, that is! But be sure to stay home or have a designated driver! Please drink responsibly!


Ok, now on to this week’s funnies. Enjoy!







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Think about poor Santa! How much alcohol do you think he needs to get through the holidays?!



Bottom’s up, my friends! Have a wonderful weekend and an even better Christmas! Don’t forget to spread that wonderful holiday cheer around! *Snort*



Merry Christmas!

Aunt Debbie

Friday’s Funnies – Christmas Edition #2 (Sorry, Not Sorry!)


I can’t believe there’s just one more Friday after today before Christmas! Time has flown by but still, I will be much happier when the holidays are over! I’m fed up with the commercialism and bull squirt. I just happened to say, “Merry Christmas” to someone I know the other day. She reminded me in a snotty tone that we are to say “Happy Holidays” now to include everyone. I reminded her that I have a mind of my own and will say whatever the hell I want to and if someone doesn’t like it then that’s just too bad! If someone is offended by the words “Merry Christmas” then that’s their problem, not mine. If someone said, “Happy Hannukkah” or “Happy Kwanzaa” to me, I would take it as that person wishing me well and I would thank them. No harm, no foul. People suck the goodness and fun out of the holidays, and I’m done with it.


I’ve not been online much so I hadn’t collected many funnies for today. I had to dig deep to find some good ones. I hope these make you chuckle, even if you’re sick of the holidays like me.


These clips (and one trailer) are from 3 of our favorite Christmas movies. Mild language in the first clip. The third one might be considered highly inappropriate by some, so BEWARE LANGUAGE!! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!



For those who love that little stinker, Elf on a Shelf:









And for those who would like to flush him down the toilet or burn him at the stake:










Enough of that little pain in the ass! Here are a few more funnies for your holiday enjoyment, hahaha!












From my house to yours, from Brian & Stewie, The Simpsons, and Mr. Hankey:

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Have a very, very Merry Christmas and don’t forget: