Random Amusing Memories

Some of my best memories are of my kids as they were growing up, their friends, and my nieces and nephews. I really miss those days. I was younger, not disabled, and they were the best years of my life.

I’ve found myself being reminded of several events this past few days. I’ll see something on tv, read something, or see a photo that reminds me of something from the past. Sometimes it makes me laugh, and sometimes brings a tear to my eye. I’m sharing a few of those memories with you today.


My son’s first day of Kindergarten didn’t go as planned. He wanted to wear his new Batman flip-flops to school and I didn’t see a problem since the weather was still very hot. The flip-flops looked something like these pictured. Within 2 hours of being in school, one of the flip-flops broke. He was devastated. When I went to pick him up that day, his teacher told me that it ruined his entire day.

via Amazon.com

That very same teacher, when my son was an adult and out of school, saw my son and I in the Walmart parking lot. She yelled, “Chuck, is that you?” My son yelled, “No!” I must have laughed for 30 minutes!

I recall one April Fool’s Day, my son and his then-girlfriend decided to play a prank, and it was a good one. I had no clue what they had done until mid-morning when I went to get a fork for my pancakes. I was completely shocked as the drawer was completely void of knives and forks! “What the hell happened to all the silverware?” I yelled. I walked into the living room and there they sat with smirks on their faces holding back the laughter the best they could. Suddenly, something caught my attention from above and I looked up. Lo and behold, every knife and fork we owned was taped to the ceiling!

Another April Fool’s Day, my son thought it would be pretty funny to hide the car. (He was old enough to know how to drive.) He moved the car behind the shed, out of sight. It was after lunch before I looked out the window and noticed the car was gone. I thought someone had stolen it!

I was 35 for 5 years before my kids did the math. Yesterday, my daughter pm’d me and asked what I would like for my birthday this year. I replied, “Oh fuck. Do I have to have another? I’m too fucking old already,” to which she replied, “What? You’re only 35!” Of course, I laughed my ass off just being reminded of those years when I got away with being 35 years old!!

From the ages of 6 to about 12, my daughter would wake up in the middle of the night, and sit with us in the living room. She always had this glossy-eyed, out-of-sorts look on her face, which told me she was sleep-walking AND that she actually got up to go pee. We would sit and carry on complete conversations with her, until I told her she should go to the bathroom. She would get up and go, and then head right back to bed. The next day, she wouldn’t remember a thing!

One time, my son and I were going to Walmart and it started to rain – POUR down rain – just as we got there. We decided to make a run for it. He was only about 4, so I was holding his hand. I hit a giant puddle of water and landed face-down, taking my son down with me. We got up, soaking wet, and my poor little boy looked up at me and asked, “Why’d you do that for, mommy?”

A friend of my son’s came over one day after school. I think they were in high school at the time. I don’t recall what we had that evening but the friend stayed for dinner. Afterward, he told me that he’d rather I take his plate to the sink, because he didn’t want to break our good China! It was very thoughtful of him but I assured him, they were Dollar Tree plates and definitely NOT good China…although they were probably made in China! We all laughed. It was pretty funny at the time!


Well, there’s a few random memories that are now documented in type, so I won’t ever forget…unless my blog gets deleted. Ugh. I’ll bet you have some pretty funny (and fond) memories, too.

A Blast From The Past


Ah, Barnabas Collins. The 175-year-old vampire who was inadvertently set free in 1967 and spent 4 years of the gothic daytime series Dark Shadows, in search of love and acceptance, and finding murder and mayhem. He was an evil blood-sucker, a member of the undead, but yet you could feel empathy for him.

Dark Shadows began in 1962, and when the ratings began to fall and the writers knew that the show was going to be canceled, they decided to do something drastic.  They added new characters and a new story-line. Why not have a little fun, ‘eh?

Jonathan Frid, a Canadian actor, portrayed the tortured and lovelorn vampire Barnabas Collins from 1967 to the time the show ended in 1971. Amid all the expectations of a daytime drama (love, sex, murder, theft, kidnapping, etc.) were the strange and macabre stories of ghosts, vampires, werewolves and witches, and even a Frankenstein-like creation! It was quite entertaining, although corny as hell by today’s standards!

I used to race home after school just so I could watch Dark Shadows! My mom started watching before the addition of the undead and scary characters and I was right there with her with about as much understanding as a 5 – 8-year-old could have possibly had! I loved the spookiness and the anticipation of Dark Shadows. I knew that vampires were make-believe and I wasn’t afraid when I watched as many kids might have been. Dark Shadows was one of my favorite shows right alongside The Monkees, Gilligan’s Island, The Munsters, Lost In Space, and The Partridge Family, like most kids my age.

I was absolutely devastated when my mother started coming ‘undone’ and decided that I couldn’t watch Dark Shadows anymore. She said I was having nightmares. I never had nightmares. The only time I ever had a nightmare in my life was when I was sick with a very high fever (around age 8) and dreamt there was an evil fat penguin under the sheets by my feet. I remembered that, wouldn’t I also remember if I was having nightmares about witches and vampires, etc.? My heart was just broken.

I have just recently begun to watch Dark Shadows again, starting with episode 210, when Barnabas first appears. So corny, so funny… That was back when television was entertainment and not a cesspool of reality shows, Trump tv, and other mindless crap. Don’t get me wrong. I still watch tv. I have some favorite shows, but choosing something to watch these days with over 200 channels is getting more and more cumbersome.

Ah, the good ol’ days!

















Throwback Thursday

A memory from 9 years ago popped up on my Facebook feed today that made me laugh! I always have the oddest and funniest dreams! I don’t even remember this one but that’s what’s great about Facebook Memories!

“I dreamed that my sister Carol was dating Dr. Oz. He bought her fluffy bunnies and a chimpanzee for her birthday. Carol was wearing an outfit that only Charo would wear!”


The Ex-Files – Father’s Day Brunch

When my daughter started Kindergarten, I was thrilled because she was lucky enough to have been placed in the class with the best teacher she could have had. Her name was Mrs. Hummel if I remember correctly. She was fantastic! She showed a genuine love for the kids and made every day a day full of fun and a lot of learning! SR was excited to go to school every single day!

In May that year, Mrs. Hummel arranged a fabulous Mother’s Day Tea Party and all the kids made special invitations for their moms. SR was so excited about it, that’s all she could talk about. All the kids made their moms paper mache wide-brimmed hats with pretty pink paper and artificial flowers adorned each one. We had tea and cake and the kids sang songs and gave their moms special cards for Mother’s Day. It was a beautiful day of appreciation. I still have that pink, wide-brimmed hat, too! I packed it carefully in a big box and had it shipped to Missouri when we left California.

In June, the kids (with the help of that wonderful Mrs. Hummel) planned a Father’s Day Brunch for all their fathers. I knew what was going to happen however and didn’t look forward to the event, not one little bit. The kids decorated ball caps with fabric paint. Honestly, I don’t recall much about that day except that it did not turn out as it should have.

SR was excited for her “Pop” to come to her classroom for the Father’s Day Brunch. I had made sure to tell CP about it and marked it on the calendar. Of course, he said, “I may not be able to get off work.” And I told him, “That’s why I’m telling your 3 weeks in advance. That way you can request the day off. SR is so excited about it and you need to make sure you go.” He said he would try and then went off to work. Every 4 days or so, I reminded CP about the Father’s Day Brunch. He ignored me as if I was annoying him or nagging him. It was important but he didn’t give a shit, obviously.

CP never said anything about getting the day off. I stopped mentioning it because I knew no matter what he wasn’t going to show up. The morning of the brunch, SR was jumping up and down and just couldn’t contain her excitement. I felt awful for her. I walked her to school and pulled Mrs. Hummel to the side and told her that if SR’s father didn’t show up, and if SR wanted to, to please have her call me and I would come to fill in. I didn’t want her to feel bad and be the only one there without someone. Just as I expected, I got a phone call and I headed off to the school.

I was so angry and hurt for my daughter that day. She didn’t seem to mind that it was mom and not Pop there that day. But I minded. He should have at least tried. After all that, my daughter still wanted her Pop to have the ball cap she made for him.

I was so angry, I didn’t speak to him for days, but I doubt he even noticed. What kind of a loser lets his child down like that? A rat bastard, that’s the kind.

The Ex-Files – You Can’t Cut Noodles In A Bowl!

It had been an extremely busy day! I was running a Day Care in our home so that I could pay the rent and put food on the table. Since CP wasn’t working I really had no choice. He was too good to go out and find a job, any job, to keep our heads above water. He was resigned to sitting and waiting for his last employer to call him back to work. He had been laid off for months! Landlords want to be paid. Kids need to be fed. What the hell is wrong with this man?

On this particular day, I had 7 kids altogether, two of them were my own. I was taking care of kids ranging from 8 months old to 5 years. I wasn’t just babysitting. I ran my Day Care like a preschool. We had planned activities throughout each day. I didn’t want the kids getting bored and I wanted them to go home having learned something and ready to tell their moms what they did at Debbie’s house that day. I didn’t want them just sitting in front of the tv all day.

The last kid was picked up at 5:00pm and that was my time to prepare dinner for my family. CP came home around 5:30pm and normally I had dinner on the table at just the right time. If he decided to eat, that is. More than half the time he just went to bed. There was never any conversation or interaction between me and CP or he and the kids. His job was finished, so ended his responsibilities for the day.

This day, however, he showered and actually sat down to have dinner with us. It wasn’t anything fancy. Grilled cheese sandwiches and ramen noodles, simple and filling. My daughter was about 5 and my son, 2. They were hungry from playing and socializing all day. I always got my son’s food ready first because he was smaller and just couldn’t wait as long as my daughter. I gave him 1/2 a sandwich and a bowl of ramen that I had let cool and cut into shorter pieces. Those noodles could be quite long and hard for little kids to eat.

My daughter was anxious for her food, but her sandwich was still in the pan. The ramen noodles were done so I scooped her up a helping. I sat it on the table near CP and asked him if he could please cut her noodles for her. His answer was remarkably stupid and I’ll never forget it. He said, “You can’t cut noodles in a bowl!” I asked, “Why the hell not?” He just looked at me and pushed the bowl over to our daughter. I was pissed. I grabbed a fork and a table knife and marched over to the table. I proceeded to cut the noodles as if I were cutting a steak. Then I moved the noodles around and repeated the same thing. I said to CP, “That’s how you cut noodles in a bowl. You’d think I could get just a little help from time to time because as you can smell, I’ve just burned SR’s sandwich.” I gave him the burned sandwich and started a new one for SR.

He ate his burned sandwich and as we’ve established in the last posting of The Ex Files, he was too big of a coward to say or do anything. Oh, except pout. He pouted while he ate and then he went to bed. Goodnight, asshole.