Monday’s Message is for the ladies this week. It’s simple. It’s hell growing old and we’re constantly searching for ways to slow the wrinkles and fine lines on our faces. Some of us have good skin and don’t worry too much. Others aren’t afforded that kindness. We have tiny black hairs that pop up out of nowhere, small blemishes, large pores — or so it seems. Sometimes it’s just that bastard magnifying mirror we use to find the tiny flaws in order to erase them from existence. You know what? Get rid of that bastardly magnifying mirror!! It causes such grief and insecurities! Throw it away! No one can see those tiny imperfections on your face. Only you can see them because you’re using that damn mirror! Throw it away ladies! Let’s free ourselves! Be free to be you, flaws and all!
Ok, so this list is not complete….but after the day I had, it just felt like the right thing to do! Ha! Here are 20 ways to NOT be an asshole!
- Drive on your own side of the road! Watch what you’re doing before you end up killing someone!
- Put your phone away when you’re driving. Idiot.
- If you’re going to critique someone’s writing, then make sure you use proper capitalization, punctuation, and grammar while doing it. Yeah, YOU.
- Be respectful and use the good manners your mother (hopefully) taught you when dealing with others.
- If you or your child receives a gift from someone, the very least you can do is ACKNOWLEDGE the gift giver’s attempt.
- Be nice to animals. Just because you think God put them here for humans to use, doesn’t mean that God wanted you to be an asshole and torture them.
- Don’t try to beat an older person to the door and then NOT hold the door open for them! Your grandmother would be ashamed of you!
- Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a change. Empathy, it’s a real thing.
- Stop trying to convince others that they’re wrong and you’re right. You aren’t going to convince them because they have their own reasons for thinking and feeling the way they do. Just STFU.
- Don’t lie and make up stories to make yourself look good. It’s really pathetic.
- Shut up and listen to others. What you have to say is important but if you shut up long enough you’ll find that what others have to say is equally important.
- Don’t be lazy. Do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.
- Wash your own dishes. Don’t expect your girlfriend/mom/sister to do them because you think it’s “women’s work.” With that attitude, I guarantee someday that dirty cast iron skillet is going to leave a mark on your skull.
- Replace the toilet paper roll when needed. It’s not that hard. Not even for a 2-year-old.
- Don’t eat or drink the last of something and then put the empty package back. Don’t just leave ONE freakin’ cookie in the package either, you douche.
- Don’t hold up the 10 items or less lane in the grocery store when you clearly have 35 items in your cart!
- Stop thinking you’re so damn perfect because you’re NOT!
- Don’t talk with your mouth open, you animal. Your Gramma would smack you.
- Stop thinking you have the right to tell adults in your life what they can and can’t do. They’re adults. They make their own decisions.
- Don’t wait until a chore is nearly finished by someone else before you ask if they need help.
I could go on forever and I may continue at a later date. What would you add to the list?
I am who I am. I won’t apologize for being me. I’ve spent too many years of my life apologizing for one thing or another; things I shouldn’t have felt sorry for in the first place.
When I was growing up, I was never allowed to have an opinion or ask why. This was because of my mother, not my dear Dad. Dad was great, but he wasn’t around much. He worked a lot so he wasn’t privy to the goings on and the rantings of my mother. As a teenager, I knew I had a right to my own opinion but I was shot down continually with “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” That was my mother’s doing, again. I always felt the need to apologize for having an opinion. I knew that I wasn’t worldly by a long shot. I knew that I didn’t have much life experience, but did that mean I was stupid? Did that mean I wasn’t allowed to think for myself? Was I not supposed to form an opinion of my own and just go along with what my mother thought? No way Jose, as we said back in the day.
When I was able to move into my own apartment, it was peaceful and I felt free to think and choose for myself. Then I did something stupid and let my ex move in with me. He was the male version of my mother!! Holy crap. He always made me feel that I needed to explain myself; why did I think that way, who told me to think that way, and where did I hear that from? In some ways, he was worse than my mother!
When I left my ex, I was finally able to live my life my way and TRULY think for myself and make my own decisions. Since then, I get angry when someone tries to make me feel the way my mother and my ex did for all those years! I stopped apologizing. I stopped explaining myself. I stopped giving other people power to influence my thought process. I stopped letting others bully me. I have a mind of my own. I think for myself and….
I won’t apologize for:
*….being a liberal-minded person because at least I can say that I genuinely care about people, regardless of their skin color or sexual preference. I believe everyone has rights, even if they don’t fit into your nice little view of what “should be.”
*….being sensitive. That’s what makes me ME. I have a soft heart. I will cry when you cry. I will feel bad for anyone who is having a rough day/month/year/life. I will try to help someone in need, even if all they need is someone to talk to.
*….not giving my energy away to a**holes. If you’re going to be an a**hole, I’ll slam the proverbial door right in your face. I don’t need that sh*t. I won’t waste my time or energy on someone who thinks their sh*t don’t stink.
*….calling it like I see it. I’m not the type of person who will “go with the flow” just for the sake of peace or not “rocking the boat.” If I agree with someone, I agree. If I don’t agree, I’m going to tell you and I’m going to tell you why. If you don’t like it you should have kept your pie hole shut in the first place.
*….wanting our nation’s children to be safe when they go to school. Children are the future of this country. They are our most valuable commodity. They deserve to be protected better than they have been protected as of late. I’ve said it a million times if I’ve said it once: If I were to do it all over again, my kids would be homeschooled. Yep. Safer with me than at school these days. At least I would have the chance to protect them; I can’t do that if they’re at school.
*….not wanting to see sex scenes on tv or in the movies. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude. I don’t mind a romantic scene in a movie or tv show. I don’t mind the suggestion that 2 adults are going to hop in the sack. What I do mind is a full-blown sex scene with nudity, sound effects, etc. Geesh. Leave something to the imagination, please! You take away from the story when you fill the screen with sex, sex, sex. I really don’t think a good story needs sexually explicit scenes to get good reviews.
*….loving animals more than people…cuz people can sometimes suck. Animals don’t lie or stab you in the back. Animals don’t spread gossip. They don’t talk back or argue. Animals, domestic pets specifically, give unconditional love and affection. They don’t judge. They aren’t hateful. They accept you for who you are.
*….having no respect for the man currently sitting in the White House. Never will. I’m not even going to elaborate because if you agree with me then you’ll know why I feel that way. If you don’t agree with me, then you’ll have lame excuses for his behavior and you’ll start your name-calling. Par for the course these days. (And for the record, just because he’s POTUS doesn’t mean we have to blindly follow.)
*….not caring what you think about me or my opinions.
So, there you have it. Some of a long list of things I refuse to apologize for these days. No one should have to apologize for having their own opinions or for feeling the way they do. We all need to just let people be who they are. Stop getting your panties in a knot over someone else’s point of view. You’ll be happier and you’ll live much longer.
Do you apologize for things you shouldn’t have to? Stop doing that!
This month is Autism Awareness Month. It’s no secret that autism exists and there are multitudes of “theories” of why it exists. That’s not what this piece is about. This was not written by me. My “other daughter” wrote this last year for my blog. She is an amazing step-mom to a child with autism and has much to say. Please read and share.