Confusion

This morning I woke up around 7:30am. It was cold in the house because we turn the heat off at night and the low overnight was supposed to be around 18 degrees. It was a bit “nipply” as Dad says. He turned on the heater and we had coffee while we watched the news.

Two hours later, I was still cold. I put my hoody on and covered my legs with a blanket. We aren’t ‘breakfast people’ so I thought I’d be different and asked Dad if he wanted me to make breakfast. He said, “No, thanks. I can’t eat on an empty stomach.” I laughed and tried to occupy myself on the laptop. After a couple more hours, I was feeling chilled to the bone. I just couldn’t warm up.

It was 11:45am already; nearly lunchtime. I gave in and turned on my heated blanket and snuggled up underneath. I didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep. I woke up at 1:15pm in a panic. I said, “Shit, it’s almost 1:30 and I have to be at that thing. I’ll never make it in time!” Dad looked at me funny and asked, “What thing?” “That thing they canceled yesterday. I was still supposed to be there today,” I told him. He was still confused and asked, “What thing? If you were supposed to be somewhere today, I didn’t know anything about it.” I hid my aggravation and tried to recall details. “Oh, that thing…” I rubbed my forehead trying to remember. Then I looked up at him and asked, “Am I confused?!” He asked, “Do you know what day it is?” I said, “It’s Sunday, isn’t it?” I got up to go to the bathroom.

All the way there I tried to remember details about the thing I was supposed to go to. By the time I got to the bathroom, I realized I was confused. I must’ve been dreaming, but the dream I was having prior to waking up had nothing to do with the thing I was supposed to go to! Of course, now I can’t remember what I was dreaming!

I’ve woken up confused before. I’ve woken up not sure if I was waking from a nap or after a good night’s sleep. I’ve woken up thinking I’m going to miss the bus or that I forgot my locker combination, but it has never taken so long to realize I was dreaming! I feel like I’m losing my mind!

I’ll never live it down; Dad will tease me about it for a long time and I’ll probably regret writing about it…BUT if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at? Unga Bunga.

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Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week

Happy Friday, Everyone!

I hope your week has been going well and that you and your families had some great Halloween fun! I meant to post a Halloween Friday’s Funnies the Friday before Halloween but it just never happened! It has been a rough week.

I hope this week’s collection makes up for it. Enjoy!!

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Ok, so I didn’t have very many this week. I apologize! I thought I had more! So, did you have a favorite? I like the Proctologists on the Road meme and the Beware of Dog photo! What a clever use of a damaged fence!!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s collection and I hope your weekend turns out great for you!

Until next time,

Aunt Debbie

Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week – RETURNS!!

Hello! Long time, no see! I’m trying, really I am. It’s so hard to get back into the swing of things. I seem to have enough energy for what must be done but no extra energy for the things I like to do. Believe it or not, this is my 4th post this week. Can you believe it? Haha.

It’s been so very long since I’ve posted Friday’s Funnies! I thank you for hanging in there and being patient! Without further ado, here’s this week’s collection! Enjoy!

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There ya go! What do you think? Do you have a favorite? I think my fave is “Fuku Den” and “Dick Pops.” Good grief. Can you imagine serving something like that to a group of kids having a sleepover, without realizing what they look like?! Big snort!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. It’ll be warmer here for a few days. Honestly, I’m sick of being hot or even warm. Bring on Winter! I’m ready. I’m stocked up on toilet paper, canned goods, and other pantry staples. My warm blankets are out, and my electric vests are ready for use! I also found hoodie blanket sweaters so Dad and I stay warm and toasty. Propane company, I’m ready for your shit! Haha.

Until next time,

Aunt Debbie

Dreams – Driving Me Crazy Night After Night

Doesn’t everyone dream at night? My dad says it’s just “our tapes” running wild and they don’t mean a thing. Some folks put a lot of stock into the meanings of their dreams. I don’t know where I stand on the subject. Mostly because my dreams are absolutely beyond ridiculous! How could something ridiculous mean anything at all?

A few nights ago, I dreamed that an Asian woman went to the police for help because her pet cow went missing. She swears that her neighbor from 2 doors down knows something. The pet cow is about the size of a medium-sized dog. He’s white with golden brown patches and eyes of golden brown too. He has kind eyes and is a very sweet cow. He’s calm and cuddly. The Asian woman is psychic. She knows she can figure out who took her pet cow but is smart enough to know that she may need the police to help her retrieve her pet in the end. The police try by asking the neighbors questions, with no leads. The Asian woman has visions and feelings, revealing more leads and the cops can’t figure it out. How does she know? She says “I just know” and they start feeling like she must have some uncanny ability or that she’s just making shit up, pulling them by a leash. The cops follow and watch her; where she goes and what she does, always astonished at how she finds leads. They start to realize she’s the real deal. She finds a warehouse where her pet cow is being kept and goes inside. She’s ready for any resistance, carrying several stun guns with her. There are 4 men in the warehouse who swear they don’t know what she is talking about. The pet cow hears the Asian woman’s voice and starts making loud noises. The Asian woman knows her cow-baby is there. She follows the sound and the men try to stop her. She zaps them all with the stun gun; 2 of them multiple times before they just stayed down. She sees her pet cow and picks him up like it was just a big dog. The cops are astonished as she walks out of the warehouse with her pet cow.

What the living hell does that mean?

Another dream I had recently was about someone who died and left me with lots of property. Clancy Brown (actor) wants to buy a large lot… I know nothing about the land and so I want to do some research. He calls several times wanting to buy. One of those times he called was to inform me that the sprinkler system is broken and it will cost $900 to fix. I googled the lot and found that there is no grass or trees on that land to water! Then the next time he says it will cost me $92,750 to fix that same sprinkler system. I realized he was just trying to get me to sell it to him cheap. I decide to go check out the land myself. When I get there, somehow I end up in a large body of dark water with a bunch of Grover muppet creatures swimming around me.

What the hell does that mean? Other than I’m stark-raving nuts…

Last night, I fell asleep with the tv on. In my sleeping state, I heard the Colonial Penn Insurance commercial at least 3 times. I was hearing strange messages about the insurance being beneficial to us and our families even if we’re not dead. It was insurance that just wasn’t right. It didn’t make any sense. As my brain started to wake up the spokesperson, Jonathan Lawson, said, “Hi. I’m Jonathan Lawson. The real Jonathan Lawson. Don’t buy that other insurance. It’s fake. This is the real Colonial Penn insurance.” From that point on, I heard the real commercial. I heard the price $9.95 per month regardless of age. The 3 P’s…Price, price, and price. I heard ‘real’ people say, “I’m 60. What’s my price?” or “I’m 72. What’s my price?” I woke up completely and tried to make sense of what I had heard all night long. Did it mean something or was my brain just being stupid?

Granted, it wasn’t a normal dream. I was asleep but hearing something that got scrambled in my brain. I think my brain is going insane. Plain and simple.

Am I the only one who has these weird and ridiculous dreams? I’d like to hear about your dreams if you’d like to share them. You can share in the comments or you can use the contact form here.