10 Year Blogaversary

I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since I started blogging! Of course, no one read my blog back then because I kept it rather quiet. I wasn’t writing for anyone but me and it was therapeutic. It was personal. I was going through the worst time of my life and blogging was a way for me to release it, send it away.

I signed on to WordPress on August 16, 2008. My very first post came just a few days later. I remember that day and I was in a panic. I’m pretty sure what I was feeling was close to how a parent of a missing child feels — the panic, uncertainty, fear, worry….and then in my case, anger set in. Give it a read and you’ll understand what I mean.

Anyway, it wasn’t until a little over a year ago that I decided to step out of my comfort zone and make my blog more ‘visible’ to others. I started interacting with other bloggers and my number of followers increased. I also started a Facebook page for this blog, so that I could more easily share with my friends and family.

I never started blogging to gain followers. I like that some people follow and interact but the number isn’t important to me. I like to connect with people on a more personal level. I like that some people can identify with what I’m writing about or that they find it humorous. I don’t care about those who think personal blogs are boring. I’m not blogging for them. I’m blogging for me and those who care to read it.

I’m not a people pleaser anymore! If someone doesn’t like my blog, for whatever reason, they don’t have to read it. I don’t read blogs that are boring to me, either. I also don’t read blogs that shamelessly beg for donations, or always promote some product, unless of course, it’s something I am interested in purchasing). And blogs that spout the same information over and over again? Boring. I’m not saying those blogs don’t appeal to some people; they most certainly do, but they don’t appeal to me.

I appreciate those who read, follow, and comment on my posts. I just wish I had more time to read all of the wonderful, insightful, and humorous blogs out there!! Please feel free to include your blog URL in the comments below!

Thanks for reading my friends!! I appreciate you more than you know!

~~Deb

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To New Projects and New Beginnings!

I finished my last 2 crochet projects and am currently taking on a few more! My 4th grandbaby is due in September and I still have a few things left to make! I’m starting a stroller blanket, a nursing shawl, and a car seat cover. You can see the lovely afghan I finished in time for the baby shower here!

I get so excited when a new project has been completed. It’s such a wonderful feeling to see the end result of so many hours of work. There are so many items on my list of things to make…. Holy cow, you should see my Pinterest board! Hahaha!

I’m looking forward to having a 4th grandchild. I think this grandbaby will stay close, as I don’t think my dear daughter-in-law will want to go too far from her family. I love all of my grandkids so much but things aren’t as I’d like them to be. One lives hundreds of miles away, another is being raised JW, and the oldest was adopted by his other grandparents, due to circumstances beyond my control. That was a long and painful story….and the reason I started blogging.

I’m looking forward to this new beginning, not only for myself but for my son and his wife and their little one who will be here very soon!

…….And as soon as I finish my projects for #4 I want to start some projects to sell for the holidays. So many ideas and so little time!!

Peace be with you, my friends!

Getting My Groove Back

im-currently-in-the-process-of-getting-my-groove-back-20395966I’m not much of a people person. I never have been. I enjoy my alone time. Solitude. It’s what makes me tick. I enjoy being by myself. I accomplish so much when I am left to my own devices. When there are others around, I tend to get caught up in never-ending conversations, and other things that distract me from being productive.

The internet has caused me to be very unproductive. I’ve spent too much time on Facebook as of late, and the negativity has pulled me down into a black hole. I normally just let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back, but eventually, the accumulation of negative bullshit starts eating away at me and I react. Sometimes I over-react. That’s just how I’m wired. I can’t seem to control it.

This time, I took some time away from the negative posts and the people that post them. Back to solitude, the joy of being alone. The internet and the connection with others is grand, however, it becomes too crowded at times. Too many opinions, too much division, hatred, and misinformation. If you spend any time at all on Facebook, then you know what I’m talking about. You’ve got the conspiracy theories, the anti-government and anti-everything else posts. There are the animal abuse photos, and photos of battered and bruised women or children. Let’s not forget about the political crap. I don’t need to know nor do I give a crap what others believe about the current POTUS. And trust me, you really don’t want to know what I think either. Religion, in my opinion, should be kept private. It is none of my business what anyone else’s religious beliefs are, and my beliefs are my business. I am so tired of the assumption that if you “do this” or “don’t do that” then you’re going to hell.

Anyway, you get it I’m sure. The negativity eats away at your soul and slowly devours you….unless you stop it dead in its tracks.

My time away has been peaceful. Yes, I am still posting to my blog page and responding to messages and comments. On my personal page, I am still checking in on occasion. Since going low-key I have become more productive. I’m writing more. I’m reading more. I am nearly finished with a crochet baby blanket for my newest grandbaby when he arrives in September. I have made gift tags for my soap party favors for the baby shower next month. I’ll be making the soap sometime this week. I’m finding my groove again!

It feels good to step back. The connection Facebook provides can be a wonderful thing. I LOVE that I can check in on my friends and family without making a call, waiting for a letter in the mail, or driving several miles for a visit. But enough is enough. I’m feeling more balanced these past few days. I’m getting my groove back, as they say.

Suffering With Chronic Pain

Most people don’t understand chronic pain and how it affects a person’s life. They will never understand until it happens to them. I don’t wish that on anyone! Most chronic pain sufferers have at least one well-meaning friend who is always trying to find a cure for their ailment or pain. The effort is much appreciated but it’s all in vain. Most of us with chronic pain have tried just about everything…because…do you think we WANT to live with debilitating pain? Of course we don’t! We have tried almost everything we can to make our lives more bearable, to no avail.

I have Osteoarthritis and Degenerative Bone Disease, specifically in my knees. I am in Stage 4, which results in the loss of cartilage in the joint. There is NO CURE, only treatments to manage the symptoms. The bone-on-bone friction associated with this can cause severe symptoms, such as:

  1. Swelling/Inflammation – Synovial fluid can increase, which normally helps reduce friction with movement but large amounts can cause swelling in the joint. Fragments of broken cartilage can cause increased swelling and pain.
  2. Severe Pain – Pain during movement, and during rest and sleep. By the end of the day, after use of the joints, more swelling occurs and pain is increased.
  3. Decreased Range of Motion – Movements are slow, with stiffness and pain making it hard to enjoy daily activities.
  4. Joint Instability – The joints become less stable; knees can “lock up” or just plain give out, which can result in a fall or injury.
  5. Weakened Muscles – As joints continue to wear down the muscles become weaker, bone spurs can develop and bone deformity can occur. (My legs are bowed, more so the left.) With weakened muscles also comes an increased risk of falls.

Some of the words I have used to describe my pain are sharp, gnawing, throbbing, stabbing, burning, excruciating, grinding, locking, stiffness, dull, tightening, and debilitating. Sounds fun, ‘eh?

This disease causes severe pain but also affects your life in other ways:

  1. Sleep Disturbances – Interferes with restorative sleep. It’s difficult to find a comfortable position, and it’s painful to even move.
  2. Weight Gain – With chronic pain, you tend to move less so it’s easier to put on extra weight. Pain makes it difficult to exercise or just have an active life.
  3. Anxiety and Depression – With chronic pain you tend to have difficulties performing normal everyday tasks like cleaning and laundry, showering, dressing, grocery shopping, walking, reaching, cooking, stairs, standing in lines, and much more. These are things we take for granted when we’re physically able; we don’t even think twice when doing them. When those simple little tasks become a struggle, it has a negative effect on our mental health. Enter depression and anxiety. It’s all so exhausting!

So, I guess I’m just trying to help others understand the struggle of living with a debilitating disease and chronic pain. Everyone’s struggle might be different but we are all the same. We are suffering, even if we don’t show it on the outside. We try to hide it from others. We try to be “normal” like everyone else. Some days we try. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we fail.

Some days, we just CAN’T. 

I Am An Empath

Being human is hard enough but I’m cursed with being an Emotionally Receptive Empath.

What does that mean?

It means that I am receptive to other people’s emotions. I absorb others’ emotions and feelings. It causes me extreme mental fatigue. I often experience emotional overload, physical exhaustion, and sometimes environmental sensitivities.

I thrive on solitude. I need my alone time to recharge and refresh, in order to face another day, another encounter with others. I feel at peace when I’m alone in nature.

I’m a good listener and have an immense desire to help people with their problems. The problem with that is that it is physically exhausting. I can’t seem to recognize when I need to step away.

Violence and cruelty cause me great pain and heartache. Some current affairs upset me so much that I get a headache. I have to walk away from the tv, internet, or other media.

I always thought this was normal; a normal state of being human. I learned about 10 years ago that this is not the case. I’m not normal. I don’t fit in with most others. My circle of friends is small. In fact, most of those in my circle are people who bring a light wherever they go; they are a source of positive charge!

Many people over the years have told me I’m too emotional or made fun of me because I’m emotional over something that they are not. It’s not my fault.

I Am An Empath!

There are more traits of being an empath. If you would like to learn more please visit:  30 Traits of an Empath. If you would like to take a test to see if you are an empath, please visit:  Empath Test. You may be surprised at what you find out!