Friday’s Funnies – Christmas Edition

Trying to get back on track with my blog hasn’t been very easy, but I’m progressing. It’s a busy time of the year, even for me. Being disabled makes everything difficult so when the holidays come I proceed with caution. I know I can’t do much in one day so things have to be planned out in advance. I’ll do a little each day from now until Christmas and then I’ve instructed Dad to just push me over a nearby cliff. Hopefully, he’ll say a few nice words about me as I plunge to the bottom of the mountain.

All kidding aside, I’m trying to stay in the holiday spirit, which is difficult for me. If you’ve been following my blog then you know the reasons. I’m trying to stay positive and to see the humor and joy in the little things. I’m hoping to spend at least a lunch with my oldest grandson and for a nice Christmas Eve with my son and his little family. I have put up a small 2 ft. tabletop tree, adorned with tiny purple lights. The table is draped with a purple tablecloth…can you tell my favorite color is purple? Several gifts are already wrapped and ready for one (or more) of the cats to discover the fun of shredding paper.

So, in the spirit of Christmas and finding humor in the holidays, here’s this week’s Friday’s Funnies – Christmas Edition!

Enjoy, my blogging friends!

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That’s all for this week. Stay tuned for the next holiday edition of Friday’s Funnies, Elf on a Shelf. Have a great weekend everyone!

Aunt Debbie

Crossed Wires

The other night, Dad and I were outside walking towards the house. I heard him say something and turned to ask him what he said. He repeated it.

“Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?” He asked.

“What?” I replied because I didn’t understand what he just said.

He repeated himself with more emphasis. “Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?”

Again, I replied but with a little unbelief in my voice, “WHAT? Dad that doesn’t make any sense.”

He was getting angry now. “Oh, Goddammit,” he said with a raised voice.

“Sorry, Dad. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I replied. I was thinking our wires must be crossed, as they say.

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He repeated the same thing again, except this time he used hand motions to convey his message. “Do you want me to scrape (hands motioning like a window cleaner cleaning a window with a squeegee) the house for the pancakes (motioning his hands as if he was bouncing a ball)?

Now I was thinking does he have full-blown Alzheimer’s or is it me? Do I have dementia? Good grief!

About that time I woke up and thought to myself, thank the heavens it was just a dream!

SNAP!

When I was a kid I can’t remember a time that my mother wasn’t trying to make me feel stupid. I don’t recall her ever telling me that I did a great job. She criticized me a lot; told me that I colored outside the lines or one sock was up higher than the other…things like that. I don’t recall if she ever even told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. To be fair, just because I don’t remember doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

But I DO know that as a teenager I DO remember. She never gave me praise for a job well done. She took every opportunity available to make me feel stupid, to make me feel that I wasn’t smart enough to excel in anything. If I showed interest in a certain class or activity, she would do everything she could to let me know that I wouldn’t like it, or that I wouldn’t do well. Many times, when expressing my own opinion she responded with, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Granted, teenagers think they know more than they really do but they should never be stifled the way I was.

Mom always made me feel like I was wrong for being smart, that somehow I wasn’t allowed to be smart. I know now though, that it was HER problem, not mine. She didn’t have but an 8th or 9th-grade education so she was very resentful that I had a better education that she did. Things were different back when she was young, and I was afforded much better opportunities.

To this day, I get angry when people talk to me like I’m stupid. I literally SNAP. Visualize Bruce Banner getting angry. There ya go. I know it’s unintentional most of the time and I choose to let it go, but when it happens over and over again? Enter The Incredible Hulk!

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