Feeling tired and sad tonight, as I sit and think about what’s coming on Monday. This will be the third kitty I have had to put down.

Smokie has kidney disease, just as the first two did. Kidney disease does awful things to kitties. They start losing weight and then have ferocious appetites. It’s the body’s way of maintaining the rapidly decreasing body weight. They urinate often and in very large quantities. They drink a LOT of water.

Since cats have their own distinct personalities, this disease causes their behavior to change in different ways. Fuzzy used to splash water out of the water dishes all the time and was very vocal (extremely loud) about being hungry. Korn stopped grooming himself and was a big matted mess that I couldn’t keep up with. He also stepped in his own pee clumps and got litter on his feet, which hardened later. He was a mess. About a year ago, Smokie decided she wasn’t going to pee in the litter box anymore. She would go outside the box; I mean right outside the box! She pooped in the box just fine. She also started using various places in the house to pee. We have had to put puppy pads in those places and around the litter box.

She is 15 1/2 years old. She’s not had the best life, but she was loved. I called her my “Franken Kitty” for a long time because of her accident. She was just a couple years old when it happened, but she either got hit by a car or kicked by a cow (or horse) but her jaw had been broken and had to be wired for a short time. The trauma to her head messed up her eyesight. She hasn’t been able to see much except shadows ever since. I guess I should have just put her down then… I couldn’t bear it then any more than I can now, but it has to be done. She’s not going to get better and I won’t watch her suffer.

She was the favorite of the litter when she was born. Her coloring was unique (I thought at the time but have seen many cats with that coloring since) and she was a sweetheart. She would catch mice and throw them around in the snow, which was a hilarious sight! She loved the snow. Even after her accident, she wanted to go outside, but she could only go out with supervision and sometimes she’d follow me on my walks. I remember one time, her momma brought her a mouse. I think momma knew there was something wrong with her.

A couple of years ago, we were able to build an enclosure for the cats. I call it the “catio.” The cats, including Smokie, can come and go as they please through the cat door. She loves that freedom. They all do. They spend more time out there than they do in the house. I love that they can go out and be safe.

Smokie will be missed, just as Fuzz and Korn are. I will be left with 4 kitties; Alice, Jack, Honey, & Kitty. Kitty is 12 this year and I hope she has at least 3 or 4 good years left. My heart needs time to heal. I will be taking a few days off from blogging, Facebooking, etc., to grieve. I hope to be back mid-week.

Thank you for reading and thank you for your support and understanding.