Number 7

Good Morning, Friends!

I am here to report that Grandbaby number 7 has arrived! I’m thrilled to be gramma to another boy, born April 27, 2023. He and mommy are doing well and back home from the hospital. I hear that big brother is thrilled to have a little brother and my son is proud as can be, of course. This baby makes 7 great-grandkids for my dad. He loves kids and it would make him so happy to have them all around him.

The other day I mentioned to someone that I was proud Gramma to 7 littles, and I was “informed” that number 2 is not biologically my granddaughter so she doesn’t count. That’s about as effing ignorant as Marjorie TrailerTrash Green telling a step-mom that she’s not a real mom. It takes more than biology to make a mom. Don’t we say that about men being a father? That it takes more than blood to make a good dad?! Same concept.

Anyway, I informed the person who made this comment to me that I don’t have to explain anything to her but for her information, I accepted number 2 as my granddaughter before I knew she was not my granddaughter by blood. I told her it doesn’t matter to me that my son is no longer with her mother. DNA doesn’t matter. Number 2 is still my granddaughter because of the love and bond that formed between us during the years that my son and her mother were together. DNA doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it! She and I still have a special bond that will never die. She’s still my granddaughter and she calls me Gramma. Nothing else matters.

As for Marjorie TrailerTrash Green, I wish someone would stuff a sock in her mouth to shut her up. She says the most ignorant things! If you don’t agree then you’re not paying attention.

On that note, I’ll close this post. Otherwise, I’ll be ranting for hours. Have a great week, everyone.

aunt-debbie

Stress, Pain, and Loneliness

I’ve been extremely stressed this past week. I don’t know whether I’m comin’ or goin’, as they say. If you’ve been reading my blog then you know I struggle with pain and mobility issues and that I am looking after my 86 year old Dad. I seriously need a break.

There seems to always be some kind of disagreement, or friction between Dad and I. He always remembers things differently than I do. I’m not sayng he’s always wrong; sometimes he is right. There’s always something he doesn’t understand, or something he forgets, and once in a while he forgets HOW to do something. He’s very unsteady on his feet and he hasn’t fallen in quite some time but I feel like I can’t leave him home alone for longer than it takes me to see my NP for a script renewal. I should get a nanny cam so I can keep an eye on him just so I can go have lunch with a friend once in a while. I can’t even remember the last time I was out without Dad.

Anyway, it wouldn’t be so stressful if I had some help. All of my family is in Tennessee and I am NOT moving to TN! My son is 15 miles from us. Yes, you read that right. He is 15 miles from us and I have not heard from him in just over 2 months. I’ve not seen him since Christmas and he hasn’t even bothered to text me. I know he’s busy with his own family and his own life but it only takes a few seconds to type out a quick “how are you?” once in a while. I don’t think I’ve been this hurt in a long time. Dad asked me if I had texted him in the last couple of months. No, I have not. When I do text the boy, it takes him sometimes days before he responds. Why would I even bother?

It’s a seriously lonely time in my life. Anyone who is responsible for looking after an elderly parent will feel the same way. It is lonely and stressful to carry it all by yourself. God forbid if Dad is ever diagnosed with dementia. He’s not that bad yet. He has his moments but mostly he knows what’s going on and basically takes care of himself. He just needs to be watched and reminded of certain things. I signed on for this but at the time, I had no way of knowing that I would be disabled and struggling myself come show time.

So, what do I do? I bitch a little, cry a little, and then I suck it up. I do what I have to do and in the evenings just to destress I do jigsaw puzzles, diamond paintings, blogging and journaling. I’ve taken on a new hobby: paint-by-number! A friend suggested it and I thought I’d be so clumsy I’d have paint all over the place but so far, so good! I’m thinking of latch hook and embroidery, too! While I do those things to destress, I listen to my audiobooks. I like the fictional detective/police/PI stories the best. I’ve ‘read’ some very entertaining/engrossing stories! It keeps my mind busy with something besides my troubles.

It’s time for me to get moving. It will take me a couple of hours to cook something for lunch (it sucks being disabled) and if I don’t fix something Dad won’t eat. Today on the menu: Chicken Fajita Salad Bowls. Wish me luck and thanks for reading my blog!

The Road of Aggravation

Yesterday was rough. By the end of the day I was ready to pull my hair out. It all started after lunch when Dad said he needed income tax forms printed up soon so he could get his taxes filed. Ok, no problem, right? You’d think it couldn’t be that difficult. I’ll tell you it was. It went something like this:

Dad: “I need tax forms printed up soon. When you get around to it, no rush.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to know which forms.”

Dad: “The federal short form and the state short form.”

Me: “But which ones? There are a lot of forms. If you bring me last year’s forms I’ll have something to go by.” (I don’t remember which forms he had last year and I’d like to know exactly which forms because they’re easier to find!)

Dad: “The 1040, I think. But the short form, not the long form because that damn thing is 50 pages long!” (He gets up to get last year’s forms.)

Thinking this would be an easy peasy task, I go to the kitchen table where the laptop is. I notice he has brought me 2020s forms.

Me: “These aren’t last year’s forms.”

Dad: “Those are the forms I need. Last year I filed the long form. I don’t want the long form.”

I immediately found the federal 1040-SR short form. I bookmarked it so I could go back to it when I had everything needed to print them. I can’t find the short form he needs for the state, which was 1040P. After 30 minutes I’m getting aggravated because I still can’t find the short form, only the long. I thought I found it but it was for the wrong year – and come to find out, that ‘P‘ form had been discontinued. That was why he had to file the long form last year. Now I find the 1040 long form. 50 pages it was not!  I told him that according to what I was reading in the instruction booklet (another half an hour wasted) he needed the Pension Credit form and the Property Tax Credit form.

Dad: “I don’t need those. I never file them.”

Me: “Why not?”

Dad: “I don’t owe them anything so I don’t worry about it.”

Me: “You may not owe them anything but maybe they would owe you.”

Dad: “I’m not going to mess with it.”

Me: I roll my eyes and bookmark the long file.

Now, you’d think printing the files would be easier than trying to find them, right? Nope. I thought I had the printer on my laptop already because months ago, my desktop pc took a dump. I figured I’d need the printer on the laptop eventually, so I hooked it up. The laptop told me printer ready to print or something to that effect. I didn’t have anything to print then but I thought it would be ready when I needed it. I thought wrong. When I went to print the forms, the printer wasn’t communicating with the laptop. Crapola. So, I dug out the disk to install the printer. That should have been easy, too. Nope. I was ready to throw the damn printer out the window and be done with it. It kept telling me that the printer needed to be connected to the laptop via USB and turned on. Grrr…. I unplugged both and plugged them back in. I clicked continue. It just didn’t want to crapperate, as my son used to say when he was a kid. I tried numerous times. I even started the installation process again…and again. My entire afternoon was wasted on this activity that should have taken 30 minutes tops.

Me: “Dad, you’re going to have to go to the library to get your forms.” (I explained the trouble I was having.)

Dad: “I’ll have to have H&R Block do them because the library isn’t open.”

Me: “Well, I know the library isn’t open right now but next time we go to town we can stop by.”

Dad: “The library hasn’t been open since everything was shut down for Covid.”

Me: “Things haven’t been closed down for quite some time, Dad.”

Dad: “The last time we stopped by there, they were closed.”

Me: “I can’t even remember the last time we went by there. It had to have been before Covid or maybe in the beginning of Covid.”

Dad: “I’m telling you it’s still closed.”

Me: Rolling my eyes now. Grrr… I can’t seem to tell him anything so I drop it. I say, “Well, regardless. I still can’t print the forms. You’ll have to get them somewhere else.”

So, after 3 hours of messing with this situation, I decide I need to de-stress because I’m ready to pull out my hair at this point. Anyway, I sit down at the kitchen table and get my diamond painting kit. I turn on my current audiobook and start to work. 5 minutes later:

Dad: “I need a book on a shelf in the cat room but I’m afraid to get up on the chair without someone there to help steady me.”

Me: “Ok.” I turn off my audiobook and get up.

We go into the cat room to get his books. The only reason any books are in there is because Dad’s bedroom had to be vacated due to mold. We moved everything out, including him. So, I get behind him and steady him while he gets up on the chair. I would have done it myself if I didn’t have mobility issues. There’s an old dresser right under the shelf where I keep food and water for BobCat, because he needs safe place to eat where he won’t get beat up by Jack. Anyway, I move the food bowl to the left so Dad wouldn’t spill it. I knew he would need room to put a couple of books so he could get to the ones he wanted. What does he do? He spills the damn bowl of food anyway. All of a sudden cat food went flying into the air and went everywhere.

Me: “Damn it, Dad. I moved that bowl over so you wouldn’t spill it.”

Dad: “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”

Me: “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Now Jack and BobCat are eating food off the floor and under our feet. Ugh. I carefully steady Dad as he steps off the chair. “Now go sit down with your books and relax a bit.”

Dad: “Sorry you have a mess to clean up now.”

Me: “It’s ok. Jack and BobCat will help.” I do my best to pick up cat food that scattered everywhere and I leave it until the next cleaning. The least I can do is leave a little food for the mice.

It was getting close to 7pm and I had been on the Road of Aggravation since 2pm! Now I was able to de-stress and have a little bite to eat. Dad made himself a pb&j sandwich and we both sat down to relax, finally.

Marbles

A couple of weeks ago, I went with my best friend to an appointment. I hate leaving Dad alone these days, but bestie needed moral support and I left Dad with his food to take at lunch and something easy to pop in the microwave. I left instructions on how to feed the cats if I wasn’t home by 4pm. I made sure he had his phone on so I could text him a couple of times. I showed him how to type a text message, assuring him that I wouldn’t send a text that required more than a simple “Ok.”

To my first text, when bestie and I arrived at the medical facility, he responded, “Takecare.” Then just a few minutes later, he called me. There I was, sitting in the middle of a crowded waiting room and he calls me, ugh. He asked me if I had received his text response. I told him, yes and then he informed me that he didn’t know if he did it right because I forgot to show him how to send the text. Oopsie. “My bad,” says I. “You figured it out though!”

Then, he shocked the hell out of me and I’m sure my jaw dropped. He asked me, “Who am I talking to?” My heart skipped a beat. I was too far away from him at that instant to be able to protect him from…himself. I was so worried! I told him, “This is your daughter, Debbie.” He replied, “Ok. You sounded like one of your sisters.” Boy, was I relieved he hadn’t lost his marbles! I told him I was trying to talk softly because I was in the middle of the waiting room. He said, “Oh.” A minute later, we ended the call.

You can see below what a time he has texting!

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I’m thankful he can still be left alone on occasion. I’m thankful that he can still take care of himself for the most part. I still worry that he will fall. The last fall he had was last July and it was a pretty bad one. He fell on his face and sprained his arm. His nose was not only bleeding inside but it was split down the center and was bleeding everywhere! He was so worried about the carpet! “Get a rag. Hurry!” he kept saying over and over. I wasn’t worried about the damn carpet! I have a pet stain removal product that works wonders on blood and EVERY stain I’ve encountered so far! Our carpet is the same ol’ mess it was prior to his fall. It really needs replacing…

Anyway, he recovered from that after a couple of days. The next time could be worse, so I worry. Fingers crossed there won’t be a next time.