This morning, I couldn’t help but be a bit aggravated with Dad. This is becoming more and more frequent; not this specific event but the aggravation. I know he’s 87 years old and isn’t the man he used to be. But…

Last summer, when our propane company came out to refill the tank, they noticed it was unlevel so they scheduled that to be done asap. Well, it must have rained for 2 weeks straight and they had to wait for the ground to dry out before doing the job.

The ground finally dried out and they came to level the tank. It was a quick fix and Dad signed the work order to show the work was done. Dad was told there would be no charge for this job.

Last month, Dad got a phone call from the propane company and was told he had an outstanding bill. Dad asked what the amount was and was told that it was $55.00. Dad asked what the bill was for because no idea what it could be. You see, Dad always pays his bills ontime and there’s no way propane only cost us $55.00! The woman told him it was for (the date) when they came out to fix a gas leak. Dad said he had no gas leak and explained that a guy came out and leveled the tank. I couldn’t hear what the woman was saying but Dad told her to send a bill because he never got one.

Dad and I discussed this afterward and he decided that he was going to have to call and challenge this bill. I mean, why not? He was told there was no charge and it was for leveling the tank not a gas leak. I told him they may find that they made an error and that there was no charge after all. He agreed. When the bill came, we had the same discussion with the same conclusion.

This morning, I remembered about the bill and asked him if he ever called the propane company. He said no and that he just went ahead and paid the bill. I got mad and asked him why he would do that when it may have been a mistake? They just screwed him out of $55.00! He then got mad at me and said he’d rather pay it than have them decline to refill the tank when he orders propane next time. OMG. I told him that they may have found that THEY were in error and deleted the charge from his account. He just walked away. WTH?

Is he so afraid of confrontation that he won’t call and fix errors? He’s getting awful about this type of thing. Not that we get billed for things/services never received, but when a telemarketer calls he sits there on the phone for longer than necessary, telling them over and over that he is not interested. He won’t raise his voice. He won’t tell them to stop calling. He won’t hang up on them! Good grief!

No one likes confrontation but Dad always did what had to be done before. Now he just goes with the flow. Like that parking ticket he got from a state he hadn’t been in for years – he paid it with absolutely no question. I’m afraid this is going to get worse and worse.

I know many people have dealt with elderly parents with problems like dementia or just a decline in their mental health. Is confrontation something that older folks shy away from? Is this normal?