Getting My Groove Back

im-currently-in-the-process-of-getting-my-groove-back-20395966I’m not much of a people person. I never have been. I enjoy my alone time. Solitude. It’s what makes me tick. I enjoy being by myself. I accomplish so much when I am left to my own devices. When there are others around, I tend to get caught up in never-ending conversations, and other things that distract me from being productive.

The internet has caused me to be very unproductive. I’ve spent too much time on Facebook as of late, and the negativity has pulled me down into a black hole. I normally just let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back, but eventually, the accumulation of negative bullshit starts eating away at me and I react. Sometimes I over-react. That’s just how I’m wired. I can’t seem to control it.

This time, I took some time away from the negative posts and the people that post them. Back to solitude, the joy of being alone. The internet and the connection with others is grand, however, it becomes too crowded at times. Too many opinions, too much division, hatred, and misinformation. If you spend any time at all on Facebook, then you know what I’m talking about. You’ve got the conspiracy theories, the anti-government and anti-everything else posts. There are the animal abuse photos, and photos of battered and bruised women or children. Let’s not forget about the political crap. I don’t need to know nor do I give a crap what others believe about the current POTUS. And trust me, you really don’t want to know what I think either. Religion, in my opinion, should be kept private. It is none of my business what anyone else’s religious beliefs are, and my beliefs are my business. I am so tired of the assumption that if you “do this” or “don’t do that” then you’re going to hell.

Anyway, you get it I’m sure. The negativity eats away at your soul and slowly devours you….unless you stop it dead in its tracks.

My time away has been peaceful. Yes, I am still posting to my blog page and responding to messages and comments. On my personal page, I am still checking in on occasion. Since going low-key I have become more productive. I’m writing more. I’m reading more. I am nearly finished with a crochet baby blanket for my newest grandbaby when he arrives in September. I have made gift tags for my soap party favors for the baby shower next month. I’ll be making the soap sometime this week. I’m finding my groove again!

It feels good to step back. The connection Facebook provides can be a wonderful thing. I LOVE that I can check in on my friends and family without making a call, waiting for a letter in the mail, or driving several miles for a visit. But enough is enough. I’m feeling more balanced these past few days. I’m getting my groove back, as they say.

This….

….is why I love Facebook.

 

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                                          Image Copyright Being Aunt Debbie

 

Why do I love Facebook? I love it because I can control what I see and who I connect with. (Not counting the stupid ads that show up on my feed.) I can connect or disconnect with my friends, family, and acquaintances. I love being able to see what the people I care about are up to, what’s going on in their lives. I’m disabled so that matters to me. I am unable to just pick up and go visit the people I care about. Facebook allows me the joy of keeping in touch with those people.

I love that I can see photos of my kids and grandkids. I love seeing what they are up to these days. I don’t get to see them often, and I look forward to holiday photos, school photos, and just messin’ around photos.

I love that I can share things with my friends and family. It could be something funny or a photo of Dad or me….or one of the cats.

I love that I can send positive thoughts, a cyber hug, or some type of inspiration to a friend or family member when they might be feeling down.

I love that I can send a private message (pm) to someone just to check in and say or give them emotional support.

I love the multitudes of cat pages I follow because it makes me smile to see cat photos. I love cats, in case you didn’t already know this. 😉

I love seeing funny memes and videos. Who doesn’t like to laugh? 😀

I love the links that actually lead me to articles about things I’m interested in. I sometimes learn things I may or may not have ever known.

I love when others share their home improvement projects.

I love to see nature photos, especially now when Spring is….springing.

I love that Facebook allows small businesses to connect with people (customers) and that mattered to me when I had my own home business. It was a great outlet and I love seeing other home businesses bloom and expand.

So, you see….there are many reasons to love Facebook but if you don’t, that’s your prerogative. Most of us have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I suppose I do, too. The positive outweighs the negative, most of the time. I won’t lie, though. Many times, I just have to step away for a day or so and de-stress. Sometimes I have to clean out my “Facebook closet” because it makes things much simpler. 😉

 

Good Reasons To Unfriend Someone On Facebook

Today, a good friend of mine posted a selfie to show off her new hair-do. She has only twice posted a photo of herself and she’s been on Facebook for years. A “friend” of hers commented in part, “I am totally against close up selfies, and I always unfriend,” and then she promptly unfriended her. That really stuck in my crawl! I mean, who the f*ck unfriends someone for something in such a ridiculous and childish manner? There are very good reasons to unfriend a person, but THAT was not one of them!

I have unfriended a few people in the 10+ years I’ve been on Facebook but mostly I just “unfollow.” It seems the better alternative to offending someone or hurting their feelings, especially when the reasons are that you’ve just been annoyed one too many times. Unfollowing allows you to still be friends on Facebook, but their posts stop showing up on your feed.

There are great (and reasonable) reasons to unfriend people on Facebook. Below are some of those reasons.

  1. Racism – Posting anything of this nature should be an automatic unfriending in my opinion.
  2. Promoting violence of any kind – This is not cool!
  3. Religious and/or political fanaticism – Everyone has the right to his or her own opinions and ideas but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to hear about it and they shouldn’t have to unless asked.
  4. Inappropriate language and/or content, nudity – Come on. Have some class! I mean, I have the vocabulary of a sailor, to be honest, but I try to have a little respect for others.
  5. Promoting hate/hate crimes – Same as #2. Not cool.
  6. Stalker-ish behavior – If someone seems to be visiting your page and commenting on everything you post, if they send you messages all the time, or if they just give you a creepy feeling, unfriend and BLOCK.
  7. Stirring up trouble for other people – No one needs added drama in their lives. We all have enough of that sh*t without help. Am I right?
  8. Airing personal problems – Personal issues should be settled privately, not for all of Facebook to see.
  9. Spreading lies, half-truths, and rumors – Unfriend quickly. No one needs a friend like this.
  10. Constant negativity – Things can’t always be that bad and if they are, why is that person on Facebook instead of getting his/her sh*t together?
  11. Constant soliciting – Who wants to be bombarded with private messages or posts on their feed of things someone is trying to sell?
  12. Disrespectful comments, back-stabbing, and lack of honesty, integrity, kindness – There’s enough of this in the world. We don’t need to see it or read it on Facebook.
  13. Perpetuating fake news – When someone just shares meme after meme without any common sense thinking or research, cut ’em loose. I mean, we all can make a mistake and share something that’s not true, but the fake “facts” floating around the internet are absurd.
  14. Posting things on your timeline that are totally irrelevant – If someone constantly posts links to horse riding school on my timeline when I’m not even remotely interested in horses, that’s unfriending material right there.
  15. Bragging about their perfect life and how happy they are – No one’s life is perfect, and no one likes a bragger.
  16. Posting spoilers on tv shows or movies on a regular basis that you haven’t seen yet – Either unfriend or unfollow. It’s just not nice for them to try and ruin things for others.
  17. Constantly whining about problems and never doing anything to resolve those problems – Come on, if someone has a problem and they need help, asking for help is great. But constantly whining and not doing anything to resolve the issues is grounds for unfriending. Enough is enough.
  18. Anti-government, anti-establishment, anti-everything posts – Negativity, in general, is a real buzzkill.
  19. Making judgemental comments about your life – No one knows your journey so unfriend without feeling guilty.
  20. Super-opinionated and/or insulting comments on your posts – No one needs this kind of stress. Unfriend.
  21. Hunting/killing and dead animal photos – Some people enjoy hunting, the thrill of the kill….others do not. This type of thing really hurts my heart.
  22. Continual conspiracy theory posts – I can’t believe how many seemingly intelligent people believe so many of these theories. I’m not saying they’re all untrue theories but if something is covered up, doesn’t that mean that many people have to keep their mouths shut?? We all know people can’t keep their traps shut. Lol.
  23. Grammar Nazis – Ok, so I’m not exactly a Grammar Nazi because I make errors sometimes….but I do try to spell correctly and use punctuation. I also try to use complete sentences. BUT I don’t insult people on their posts for others to read. Not classy at all.
  24. Links that make you sad – Maybe it’s a story of the abuse of an animal or a child, maybe it’s something else that really hurts your heart. I pass them by quickly or hide from my timeline. Sometimes I unfriend.
  25. Terrible friend/relative – If someone did you or a family member terribly wrong, then by all means, unfriend.

 

So, that’s my list of reasons to unfriend someone on Facebook. I’m sure there are others that escaped my mind, and there are always exceptions to the ones I listed. You may or may not agree, and that’s perfectly fine. You didn’t have to read this and if you think about it, my opinion isn’t hurting anyone now is it?

Do you have any other reasons one might unfriend someone on Facebook?

 

What We Love/Hate On Social Media

Social Media has become an intricate part of our lives. Prior to 2006, it was barely thought of! We spend much of our time on social media and it’s become the best way for us to communicate with one another and to stay in touch with family and friends. The younger generation can’t even imagine life without social media!

We are hooked on Facebook and Twitter, and the like, because of the things we LOVE, obviously. I’ve presented the question, “What do you LOVE/HATE to see on social media?” to friends, family, acquaintances, and followers on my Being Aunt Debbie Facebook page and received quite a few responses!

Here’s a rundown of the things we love to see on social media:

  1. Animals – Who can resist a cute or funny animal? Pets are definitely irresistible! We have all had a pet (or pets) at some time in our lives. Our pets are our buddies, our little furry family members, and they are quite entertaining. It’s always fun to see other people’s pets being silly, or oddly captioned photos to make us laugh. It’s quite lovely to see photos of rare and exotic animals…and those not so exotic, too.
  2. Photos of family and friends – We love keeping in touch with family and friends on social media! We can see our loved ones on vacation, our grandkids’ at their birthday parties, our kids with their spouses, our long lost cousins whom we’ve not seen since we were teens, our brothers and sisters who moved too far away to see often, and we learn of new additions to our families! We see these photos without having to wait for the mailman to bring them! It’s the best way to keep in touch and check in with our loved ones and close friends.
  3. Funny stuff – Funny photos, memes, stories, puns, jokes, comics, cartoons…. We love to be entertained and the best way is through laughter! I think most people will catch themselves laughing aloud, even when all alone! I know I do!
  4. Babies – Who doesn’t love a laughing baby? Or a baby learning something for the first time? Babies turn adults into giant goof-balls! Babies can make us laugh and can offer up more love than can be imagined! There’s just not much better than a baby!
  5. Acts of Kindness – We love to see stories of acts of kindness because this world is so full of hatred and anger. We love to see one human being doing something nice for another human being with no strings attached. It doesn’t happen often as it should, but we love those feel-good stories that make us realize there are still good people in this world.
  6. Special Needs/Overcoming Obstacles/Empowerment – We love to see stories about special needs kids and adults overcoming the greatest of hurdles in life. It makes us feel that we aren’t a lost cause. “If they can do it, so can I.” It helps us face the shit in our own lives with a bit more hope and fervor. We love stories of triumph and courage. We love to see others just like us accomplishing the impossible. We love to see stories of underprivileged people finding opportunities to make changes in their lives. There’s so much suffering and hardship in this world and when people find strength and courage to improve their lives or the lives of others, well, that just makes us all a little more hopeful and maybe even a little stronger.
  7. Inspirational Quotes – We love to be inspired to write, to be kind, to be more creative, to study harder, to be more understanding, to be less judgemental, to declutter our homes and our lives. Inspiration comes from many places and sometimes it’s just a little quote that gets us moving in the right direction.
  8. Spirituality – We may or may not be religious but most of us are spiritual in some way. Spirituality gives us a purpose, a direction in life. We are constantly looking for truth and oneness with self. We love to learn of different spiritual paths and practices. We love the search for enlightenment and the mysteries of life and nature.
  9. Interesting and Educational – It’s just human nature to want to learn. Today, with internet access we have a “library at our fingertips.” We can learn just about anything by doing a simple search. Social media gives us an opportunity to learn about many things from some very informed people about hundreds upon hundreds of interesting subjects.

 

Now the fun part! Things we HATE seeing on social media:

  1. Political Tirades – Seriously. Most of us don’t care what others’ political views are! Everyone has an opinion. We don’t want to know yours unless we ask. Besides, no one can debate a topic these days without name calling and LOGIC.
  2. Religious Beliefs – Religion is a personal choice. People have their own beliefs. Most of us don’t like having someone else’s beliefs (or judgments) crammed down our throats. We will ask you about your religion if we are interested.
  3. Rhetoric, Lies, and Conspiracy Theories – We hate it all. Do some research and stop spreading BS. Just because something seems “odd” or perhaps there’s not been any info officially released about something doesn’t mean it’s a conspiracy. Shit just happens sometimes. And sometimes, the public isn’t privy to all information.
  4. Hate/Intolerance – We hate intolerance, of any kind. Anyone who hates ANYONE for being different is just an asshole. Plain and simple. Skin color doesn’t matter. Religious beliefs don’t matter. Sexual orientation doesn’t matter. Intolerance is wrong!
  5. Internet Trolls – We hate those buggers. You know what I’m talking about because you’ve either been disrespected by one or you ARE one. We hate trolls because they stir up trouble. They provoke us into arguments. They don’t seem to have anything better to do. My advice: DO NOT ENGAGE!
  6. Narcissistic Selfies – We hate the duck-faces and shirtless men showing off their physique dozens of times a day with photos of every stinkin’ thing they do, all day long. Anyone have a barf bag?
  7. Bullying – No one likes a bully and most of us with any common decency will smack down a bully any chance we get….sometimes “smack down” literally. We will stand up to a bully and protect those being bullied. We sure don’t like seeing it on social media.
  8. Shame/Blame – We don’t like seeing other people blamed or shamed. If someone dresses differently, if they’re overweight, or just don’t act the way others think they should, they don’t deserve to be shamed. We don’t like the “The Blame Game” either. If you’ve got a problem, do something to fix it and stop blaming others.
  9. Animal/Child/Spousal Abuse  We hate the acts of violence on children, animals, and women. We don’t want to see graphic photos of a beaten child or a beaten animal. It just hurts too much. That doesn’t mean we don’t care but seeing a photo isn’t going to change anything. Most of do what we can to support these causes, but we don’t need to see photos to get us to help.
  10. “Repost if” /“Type Amen if you agree” /“I know which of my friends will read to the end and repost” types of posts – We hate those types of posts because they are worthless. If you feel strongly about something, reposting it on social media is NOT going to change anything. If you want to make changes then actually do something.

 

So, that’s the rundown of what I’ve discussed with others. Is there anything you really LOVE or HATE to see on social media? I’d love to hear about it!

Cleaning Out My Closet

My Facebook closet, that is…..

I am one of those people who feels things deeply and many times differently than most others. I am at a point in my life where I can take a friendship or leave it. I don’t need your bullshit. I don’t need the constant barrage of opinions and false information to clutter my mind or my Facebook feed. It’s exhausting. I have enough to worry about in my own life….in real life. Why can’t we just share pics of our families and pets and wonderful things happening in our lives? That’s the reason I got involved with Facebook in the first freakin’ place!

I’m sick of wading through post after post of what someone thinks about this, that, or the other. It’s like they are on a crusade of sorts to convince people to come over “to their side” or “to their way of thinking.” You know what? I already have an opinion. It’s an educated opinion. It’s MY opinion and you telling me what yours is, is NOT going to change mine!

I have always stated that I won’t ‘unfriend’ someone because their opinion is different than mine. I can still be friends with someone and not share the same thoughts on a given subject. I can, however, ‘unfollow’ those people who are constantly cramming their thoughts about politics, religion, LGBT rights, gun control, etc., down my throat via social media.

I don’t care if you love Trump and the bus he rode in on. I don’t care if you’re a Southern Baptist or a Catholic. I don’t care if you believe everyone on the planet should own a gun. I don’t care if gay rights upset you because it goes against your beliefs. I don’t care what you think about athletes kneeling before a game. I don’t give a rat’s ass in September if you have your own opinion! We ALL have our own opinions and we are entitled to them. That does NOT mean that everyone wants to know what you think about every subject known to man and then be belittled for having an independent, perhaps different thought.

One of the things that really gripes me is that when I see “an opinion” post on social media that I don’t agree with, I scroll on by….. I really don’t care how someone feels about a subject. I know that I won’t change their opinion by commenting what I think! But the very few times I have posted something that I believed with all of my heart to be any caring person’s view, I’ve had people comment and act as though I’ve committed a felony!

People’s opinions are based on their experiences, their perceptions, their interpretations. Sometimes, on actual facts. Go figure. That’s what I’d like to see more of on Facebook. Factual commenting, not berating, insults or ridicule, would be a welcomed change. At the very least, for folks to just scroll on by, would be very refreshing! But seems to me all anyone can do anymore is be disrespectful. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough.

So, I will be cleaning out my Facebook closet once again…..