Shut In and Shut Out

Posted on by
9

When my sister leaves, I’m on my own. That’s not a bad thing necessarily because I’ve always been on my own. I’ve always had to do things on my own. The problem is that I can’t expect Dad to go with me every time I need to go somewhere, and I don’t feel good about leaving him at home, alone.

Now that Walmart is offering “home delivery” in my area (out in the middle of nowhere), I don’t even have to do “curbside” orders anymore. That really helps because it will save money on gas, wear and tear on the car will be minimal, and we don’t have to leave the house.

There are other places I will need to go, such as the Dollar Tree, the local grocery store, clinic for appointments, vet’s office, and perhaps to the hairdresser’s for a much-needed haircut. I have no desire to go anywhere to socialize, so I guess I’m good.

I think we are basically what they refer to as shut-ins. I’m disabled, Dad is elderly, and we rarely leave the house. It’s depressing. I try not to fixate on the issue because it just makes things worse. When we do go out, we’ll have to do one thing at a time. No more doing all errands in one trip to save gas. It’s too much for Dad. On Wednesday, we went out, and it really sucked the life out of him. We went to the Dollar Tree where he insisted he’d walk, then the grocery store for just a handful of items. Again, he insisted he would walk. We then stopped at the pharmacy and the liquor store, both of which had drive-thrus. On to have lunch at one of our favorite places, Vaccaro’s Pizza and Pasta. The next day, Dad was still exhausted. It wasn’t until yesterday that he felt more himself.

So, shut-ins we are. I got to thinking about it, and we are basically shut out, as well. We don’t see relatives who are close enough to visit. We aren’t invited to birthday parties, even though we probably wouldn’t go. An invite would be nice, nonetheless. It would show that they are at least thinking of us. We have both lost touch with friends. Friends who have jobs or take care of their grandkids. Friends who have lives, unlike ours. Ever since I became disabled and Dad became elderly…I don’t even know when that happened…we have drifted away. Anyway, we are shut out of many things.

Things are going to change for us soon. I mean, we may still be shut in and shut out, but we will be moving to the new house. Move-in day is still up in the air, but I can see the end of the tunnel now. My sister will come back to stay, unless she changes her mind. I think I’ve driven her a bit crazy with my bitchiness, but that’s another post.

Until next time,

17 Years Ago Today!

Posted on by
3

It’s been 17 years since I began my blogging journey. I started blogging because I needed an outlet. I was stressed. I needed to release it. I still blog for that reason, but I’ve made friends here at WordPress who are interested in updates with me and Dad. I also like to write. I don’t claim to be a great writer, but I do enjoy it.

The problem these days is that I cannot concentrate. There’s too much noise, mostly internal. When we finally move to the new house, I’ll have my own quiet space where I can write uninterrupted. I’m hoping the internal noise will die down.

For now, I write when I can. I want to do an overhaul of this blog eventually. It needs a new look. Any ideas? I’d love to hear your suggestions.

Until next time,

Into September…

Posted on by
4

Here we are. It’s September already. The last 2 months have been a blur. From Dad’s fall, to family drama, to Dad’s recovery, to car repairs, water problems, to well, today.

Dad is doing much better. Having physical therapy helped him more than anything else, in my opinion. After the first PT visit, he started getting better faster! I think once he was shown that he could do more, he started doing more. The more he did, the better he felt, and the more independent he became. He’s walking to the bathroom with his cane, and we have ventured out a few times. My sister being here has helped tremendously, but when she leaves in 2 weeks, Dad and I will be on our own. I won’t have any help or support. God forbid if I ask for help! So, I will be doing things on my own.

My “other daughter” suggested a contractor to help get the new house done. I think I called him Guy #3 in a previous post. He got materials on Monday and started working on Tuesday. He spent 4 days working on getting the electrical outlets and switches installed and the breaker box all figured out. (Guy #1 didn’t label properly!) This coming week Guy #3 is going to install the ceiling fans and lights, and recessed lighting. When the electrical stuff is finished, he’s going to move on to hooking up toilets and a vanity, which I have yet to get. Oh, the decisions I will have to make! Anyway, “other daughter” has said that she really respects Guy #3’s work ethic and that he’s very fair. I need to get a hold of Guy #1 and ask him to bring over the HVAC units we have already paid for. I can’t wait to get attitude from him for asking and/or hiring someone else. You can imagine what I’ll tell him, I’m sure. My old Granny used to say, “Shit or get off the pot!”

I started this post this morning and stepped away for a bit. It’s 5:00pm, and I’m just now getting back to it. Here’s just a little indication of how quickly things can change. Read on…

After the lunch dishes were done and I was headed back to my chair, I noticed a never-used pop-up screen on the TV, and I told Dad to push “exit,” and I thought he had because the pop-up went away. But it popped up again. I got next to Dad’s chair and reached down for the remote in his hand, and he had a pretty good grip on it. When I looked at his face, something seemed off. His eyes were open but glassy, and he was leaning to the left. I thought he was just dozing, and maybe he was, but something told me to check more closely. I kept saying, “Dad. Dad. Dad.” He wasn’t responding. About that time, my sister jumped up to help. We fussed with him for what must’ve been at least 15 minutes, trying to wake him up. He finally started to respond, but his speech was slurred. We were frantically rubbing his chest, patting his cheeks, moving his arms around, etc., anything to get him to snap out of it. He finally did, but boy, did it scare the crap out of my sister and me! He did that to me once several months ago, but it didn’t take that long to wake him. I swear, my sister and I thought we were losing him. Dad is fine now, but that’s how quickly things can change.

I think part of the problem is that he’s not sleeping well. The hospital bed is not comfortable. He bitches about it all the time. Last weekend, I asked my son to come get it this weekend, but he has yet to show up. My sister leaves in 2 weeks, and I will need her to help me get his room set up so he can sleep in there in a real bed!

I will say goodbye for now until next time,

Random Thoughts – Aug. 29

Posted on by
1

Random Thoughts – August 29

  • The GOP doesn’t like the mirrored reflection that Gavin Newsom has shown them.
  • Didn’t Trump claim during J6 that only the Speaker of the House could call in the National Guard?
  • Could it be that Ron DeSantis is scared of LGBTQ+ folks because he’s still in the closet?
  • It’s a felony to throw a sandwich at law enforcement, but it’s not a felony to beat a police officer with a flagpole?
  • Slavery is part of this country’s history. You can’t erase what’s already happened.
  • I don’t care about Taylor Swift’s engagement, but I don’t wish her ill, either.
  • Donald Trump cries and lashes out like a child when someone talks bad about him or when someone succeeds, and especially when that someone is a woman or person of color or both.
  • ICE is nothing more than today’s Gestapo.
  • Republicans will go down in history as the party that let America down.
  • JFK, Jr. isn’t a doctor or a scientist. He’s an idiot. Vaccines save lives!
  • Some people say, “Guns are not the problem. People are the problem.” So, why would you let the problem have guns?
  • Some say, “If ICE picks me up, I can prove I’m a US citizen!” Who are you going to prove it to? Without due process, without going before a judge, you won’t be able to prove anything.
  • Where’s Elon? Is he our modern-day Waldo?
  • If any Democrat had ever done one thing that DJT has done, Republicans would have a lynch mob out to get him.

Well, that’s all I have for now. My mind is scrambled with all of the BS going on! I hope each and every one of you has a great Labor Day weekend. Be safe!

The Blueberry Is Back!

Posted on by
6

Our car has been in the shop for a/c repairs, a job that was supposed to take 8 hours. I was given a loaner, an EcoSport, which is a nice ride if you’re not oversized and disabled, like me. Apparently, 8 hours equals 12 days in mechanic math!

I was told the guy working on it had a family emergency. Ok, I get it. I hope he and his family are ok. I was told they were getting another guy to come in to get it done. But still, 12 days?

I picked up our car yesterday. Boy, have I missed her! A 2009 Ford Focus, sometimes called The Blueberry. I can’t even describe the feeling of getting into that wonderful vehicle! Comfortable. Not too high, not too low. Comfy seat. Ample leg room. Now the a/c works, and the weather has cooled a bit. Better late than never.

Last summer, we suffered through the heat and humidity without a/c. Dad didn’t want to spend the money on it. I understand that completely, but there comes a point when you have to do something about it. That point was when Dad came home from the hospital after suffering heat stroke. I couldn’t take him out in the heat to his appointments. Now, we’re all set for Dad’s cardiologist appointment today.

The estimate for repairs was around $1200-$1300 plus tax. When they gave me the bill, I was pleased to see that they had discounted the total. With tax, it was just a little over $1000. Still more than I wanted to pay, but I’ll take it. The important thing is that we have our Blueberry back, and we can travel in comfort.

Now, the poor Blueberry needs a thorough and professional cleaning, inside and out. She has been severely neglected over the years. Maybe when it’s a little cooler, I’ll get out there and wash her. I’ll probably have to do it in parts. I’ll also need some super-duper industrial-strength soap!

This is not our car, but it’s the same make, model, and year. Ours used to be this clean and pretty.

Have a great day, friends.