15 Things That Just Don’t Make Any Sense To Me

Posted on May 26, 2020 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

*Coffee pots that make 5 oz. cups. The box says, “Makes 12 cups!” I call bull squirt! I know their cups are based on restaurant cups but when we buy a coffee maker for home, most of us are using 8 – 12 oz. mugs or maybe even bigger. A cup is 8 oz., not 5!

*Children are our future. They are precious cargo. Most (normal) people would agree. Children are required to wear seat belts while in a moving vehicle. Unless it’s a school bus. What? Why the heck are kids not required to wear a seat belt while on a school bus? The driver of the school bus is required to wear a seat belt! I can understand that it would be quicker to evacuate a school bus if no one is wearing a seat belt. I can understand that no one would be trapped in their seat if they aren’t wearing a seat belt. But don’t those things hold true for any vehicle? What about an unfortunate accident that flips that bus over and over again? Are those kids going to survive or walk away with no injuries if not wearing a seat belt? This has bothered since my kids had to ride the bus to school.

*Does it make a lot of sense to say, “It was in the last place I looked,” or “It’s always in the last place you look,” when obviously it was literally in the last place you looked? I mean, where the hell else would it be? Why would you keep looking after you found the item you were looking for?

*Reality shows don’t make sense to me. I have my own reality. You have your own reality. Why watch someone else’s reality…especially when it’s scripted and not reality at all?! Reality shows are hogwash. Those people (in many cases) are being paid to behave badly. We need to stop making stupid people famous. That just doesn’t make sense to me.

*The other day, I was trying to get into an online account that I hadn’t used in a while. I tried logging in but I was told I had entered the wrong email or password. So I tried another of my commonly used passwords…and another…and another. Still denied access. So I tried my other email address and those same passwords. Still no access. So I decided to use their “Reset Password” option. I was asked to choose a new password. When I entered one I was told, “You cannot use your old password.” I wanted to throw the computer out of the damn window!

*I can understand having 3 different sized cups for drinks if you are ordering from drive-thru window or placing a to-go order inside a fast food restaurant. But why offer different sizes for people (other than for small children) dining in? If the restaurant is offering free refills, doesn’t it make better sense to just have one size cup, perhaps medium? Why should a person have to choose the size cup when they can get as many refills as they want before they leave?

*Automatic hand soap dispensers in public restrooms make sense. But at home? Why does it have to be hands-free? You’re not going to touch the dispenser after you wash and dry your hands, are you?

*Why do they package light bulbs in flimsy cardboard packaging? You’d think a little bubble wrap lined package would have been thought of by now, like bubble mailers. Why are batteries so hard to get out of their packaging? Have any of those little stinkers ever opened the way they are supposed to? Just put the damn things in a regular box!

*Google ads drive me insane. I can look up something on my phone or computer and the very same day I start getting ads on Facebook (and elsewhere) on that same item. Several times, I was talking to Dad about a certain item and lo and behold, I started getting ads on Facebook. Were they listening to us talking? I never looked it up on my phone or computer. I never looked at the product on Amazon or anywhere else. We just talked about it. Creepy.

*Why do we put celebrities on a pedestal? Why do we listen to what they say but not our doctors, our mothers, or someone else? You don’t know the celebrity personally so how would you know if they’re telling the truth? I have my favorite celebrities, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not going to live my life according to Johnny Depp or Al Pacino.

*Schools have rules against fighting…OK fine. What about when your kid is being bullied? I mean, physically bullied? Don’t you want your child to defend himself? I taught my kids that if someone threw the first punch, then go for it. I didn’t care what the damn school’s rules were! Kids have the right to defend themselves! Instead, they get in trouble for fighting and the bully wins…and continues to bully.

*I will never understand the insane amounts of make up young girls wear these days! I can’t stand when I walk by someone and all I smell is make up. That’s just gross. These girls can have the prettiest face but they cover it up with goop!

*I don’t understand these telemarketers who leave voice mail messages like, “We’d like to talk to you about our products. Please call us at 1-800-555-5555.” Seriously? If you can’t even tell me the products you want to talk to me about, why the hell would I want to call you back? Those numbers get blocked.

*17 commercials during one break while watching a show? Those commercials aren’t going to make me buy a damn thing. They piss me off, and/or annoy the crap out of me. Most of them are the stupidest things I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe anyone would buy a product based on seeing a commercial. A commercial might remind me to put something on my list that may or may not be what they’re advertising. A commercial might make me do a little research, say on the advertised vehicle IF I was in the market for a new car. Same thing goes for insurance commercials. If you’re not in the market for something, why would you pay any attention to the commercial? They need to save the money they spend on ads and pay their employees more! There’s a novel concept!

*Conspiracy theories. You’ve got to be a few fries short of a happy meal to believe the theories out there. Do I completely trust the government? No, especially not now with Tweet-y in office, but to believe that everything is a cover-up is ridiculous. Do you realize how many people would have to keep their big mouths shut in order to pull off a major conspiracy/plot/assassination? People are just not that good at keeping secrets and I still believe that most people have more integrity than that.

Well, there ya go. It would probably be safe to say that some of the things that make no sense to me would be on your list, too! I bet you could add a few, as well!

Thoughts & Revelations

Posted on May 21, 2020 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

Today is the 67th day Dad and I have stayed home. Other than hitting the liquor store, the bank, and the pharmacy drive-thru windows, that is. I’ve had many thoughts over the past couple of months and I thought maybe I should put them in writing. It’s been difficult to get back to writing in my blog and it has taken me 3 weeks to finish this post. There have been days of anger, days of sadness, and days where I have been completely drained and discouraged, but I have finally completed the task! I just hope it’s coherent. Hahaha.

Just to be clear, these are MY thoughts and MY opinions and no one else’s. If you don’t agree then fine, don’t agree. Just move on…

~~~

1. We are a nation of spoiled brats. That’s right, I said it. People are up in arms about being asked to stay home, and now, after states opening up again people are being absolutely hateful for being required to wear a mask before entering an establishment. That proves nothing except how spoiled they are. The me, me, me mentality rears its ugly head. Wearing a mask or staying home to save lives or at least to slow the advancement of a deadly virus is just an inconvenience! Nothing more. AN INCONVENIENCE, TEMPORARY. I am sickened by the headlines of violence taking place because of a mere inconvenience. And don’t give me your cockamamy bullshit about your rights being violated. It’s your right to go out and contract COVID-19 but it’s not your right to put others in danger in any way, shape, or form. It won’t kill you to wear a mask because you may be asymptomatic and not know it, therefore spreading the virus.

2. I have learned that I don’t need as much as I thought I did. In order to avoid stores, I managed to buy most things online and if I couldn’t find a certain item, then I’d just go without. Even toilet paper. Yep. Even toilet paper. I purchased UNpaper toilet paper and UNpaper paper towels from an Etsy shop. UNpaper products are made from cloth, in case you’ve not heard of this before. Use, wash, reuse. Simple as that. No stress about finding paper products online or in the stores.

3. I’ve learned that I’m perfectly fine with fewer friends. I’ve recently cut ties with people I’ve known much of my life because I’ve had it with their attitudes. I can handle differences of opinions. I don’t mind a discussion over different views, however, when I state my opinion on a subject and someone decides that I must not know “x, y, or z” and they make it a point to say “you may not know this but…” or “but what you don’t understand is…” it really pisses me the fuck off. I mean, just because my opinion is different does NOT mean that I don’t know something, or that I don’t have all the facts! Of course, I don’t know everything and I may not have all the facts, but just because my opinion is different than someone else’s doesn’t mean that a person (who claimed to be a friend) has the right to invalidate my opinion by assuming that I mustn’t know “x, y, or z.” I don’t have time for such nonsense.

4. Regarding doing research… It cracks me up when people read an article put out by the CDC and then start telling people to do their own research. Wtf is up with that? Do they really think that ANY research that I (or they) do can beat the research put forth by the CDC? By scientists? Ridiculous! The CDC has been in existence for nearly 75 years and its sole purpose has been to research communicable diseases and protect public health. I think they know a little more than some idiot who spent 2 hours watching YouTube videos!

5. I’ve seen some very inspirational stories of people lending a helping hand; donations, delivering groceries to the elderly, kids using their own saved money to purchase items for the needy, people handing out toilet paper from the trunk of their vehicles, and the list goes on. Why can’t everyone be so selfless? Instead, they purchase items that they may already have at home, leaving shelves empty and someone else to go without. Shameful.

6. Over the years you’ve heard people complain about store clerks and fast-food employees wanting higher wages; living wages. And during the stay-at-home time those essential workers have put themselves and their families’ lives at risk so we could have the groceries, paper products, etc., that we need. Don’t you think they would have liked to stay home to prevent illness? They weren’t afforded that luxury if they wanted to keep their jobs. Don’t you think they would have liked to protect their families? So, let’s just give them a higher damn wage because they deserve it!

7. That brings me to the fact that nurses, doctors, CNAs, cleaning crew, lab personnel, technicians, EMTs, police, firemen, etc., have all put their lives on hold and in danger to take care of us. They have families, too. Many of them stayed away from their families and probably still are staying away, so as not to expose their spouses and children to COVID-19. I am very much in awe of each and every one of them because quite honestly, I’m not sure that I would have been that selfless. They are the heroes. We all owe them a huge THANK YOU.

8. Most of us like to think that we are self-sufficient and for many things we are. But during a pandemic like the one we are experiencing, we are realizing how much we really do depend on others. It’s hard handling things alone. We need each other. We are in this together.

9. I can’t even begin to imagine how women and children in abusive relationships have felt being locked down with their abusers. Kids, whose only respite was to go to school, who have been suddenly stuck at home, are suffering at the hands of some abusive narcissist.

10. I have anxiety and depression to deal with but I can’t imagine having those issues or worse with no one to lean on. Can you imagine living alone and being quarantined with no one for support? Mental Health is always very important but during this time it is especially important so if you know someone who has issues, please reach out to them. You could be their only lifeline.

11. This pandemic is enough to cause panic, anxiety, depression, etc. People panic when they feel they no longer have control of their own lives. This is why hoarding was so out of control, and still may be in some places. Anxieties build up, depression swallows. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be helpful.

12. Teachers and schools have stepped up during this time and delivered food to their students, provided lessons online, and I’ll bet you’ve seen stories of teachers going the extra mile to help their students with their studies while stuck at home. They’re so amazing!

13. And one final thought: Those who are spreading conspiracy theories need to STOP! We have enough on our plates already. Stop making things worse!

~~~

I’m not sure that Dad and I will feel safe to go out for a few more months, but who knows. Maybe that second wave won’t happen. Maybe things will go back to a somewhat normal way of life. We can only hope…

woman in white long sleeve shirt holding lemon fruit

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A Perfect Mother?

Posted on January 27, 2020 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

Is there such a thing as A Perfect Mother? Perfect, by definition is “free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality; faultless.” Are any of us ‘free from any flaw” or “faultless”? I think not. Can a mother be free of flaws? Nope.

We aren’t given an instruction manual when we have our first child. We can read every single book ever written about parenting and still fuck up. Things don’t always work in our favor. What works for one mother, may not work for another. What works with one child, may not work with another. All children are different. All mothers are different.

Was I A Perfect Mother? Hell to the no. But I did my best. I screwed up several times. It happens. My mother wasn’t the best role model. My ‘motherly’ role models were teachers. My mother learned how to be a mother from her mother, my grandmother. My grandmother had to work because she was a single mom, and my mom and brother ran around and did whatever the hell they wanted. Granny did what she had to do BUT she didn’t have to sit on a barstool for hours after work, either. I loved my grandmother and my mother, and I know they did the best they could with the knowledge they had. I know I did a better job of raising my children than my mother did with my sisters and me. The point is that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. There’s no such thing as A Perfect Mother. All we can do is the best we can.

I was never the ‘perfect’ mom and I never claimed to be but these things I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt:

I love my children more than life and would gladly give my life to save theirs.
I protected them from the “icky stuff” between their father and me.
My children, now grown, would probably argue to this day that I was OVER protective. I was not. I knew where my kids were, who their friends were, and communicated with their friends’ parents regarding sleepovers and parties. That was part of my job!
We had rules but I wasn’t strict. I can only think of twice (once each) that I had to resort to spanking. They were pretty good kids!
They grew up in a safe environment, knowing they were loved.
They didn’t have everything they wanted but they had what they needed.
I always tried to let my kids know how special they were; that they were good at x, y, or z.
I told them how much I loved them all the time.
I read to them most nights before bed. They often saw me reading books. Still, neither of them like to read, to my dismay.
My kids ate junk food, but they also ate veggies and protein! Balance!
When my kids were upset, I let them be alone for a bit and then offered my help if they wanted it. I instilled in them that they could always talk to me, no matter what, but to this day neither of them talks to me about the hard stuff.
There were several times when they were growing up that I got strange vibes from certain people. I always trusted my gut and steered clear of those people to protect my kids.
I allowed my kids to make age-appropriate decisions as they were growing up. They screwed up sometimes but I was there for support and guidance.
I always told them that they had the right to defend themselves if need be, but they had better not take the first punch.
I cherished the things my kids made for me in school or during other activities. In fact, I have an entire storage trunk full of mementos and sentimental things. Some things are still hanging on my walls!
I taught my children to love and appreciate nature and animals; to watch and learn from things instead of killing it or destroying its habitat.
My kids were clean when they went to school or anywhere else. They bathed every night. They had clean clothes, shoes that fit and I wore sweat pants for many years just so they had what they needed.
My kids always came first; when we were still with their father and after we left. They were my priority, my pride, and joy. They were my heart.

They are still my heart. No matter how old they are, or how old I become…they will always be my heart!

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My Empathic Heart Is In Pain

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

I’m having a difficult time connecting with friends I once connected with, or so I thought. Looks like their sense of what is right and what is wrong has been highly compromised by their support of Donald Trump.

Normally, I accept differences of opinion but this goes far beyond a difference of opinion. This is more about a person’s moral compass. This about another side that was tucked away; away from others, away from me. I’m seeing a side of people I never knew before.

I have to remove myself from these people, these friends, because they’re tearing my heart out. Their racist remarks make me think ill of them. Their lack of compassion towards others breaks my heart. Their willful ignorance of the facts and touting “fake news” because the mighty orange one said so makes me want to scream. Their sources of information come from websites/articles not even written by professional journalists and they seek only sources that agree with what they already believe to be true.

These friends, some I have known most of my life and others maybe a decade or more (or less) think the Muslim women in Congress should “go back to where they came from” and they totally disregard that these women are AMERICAN CITIZENS! A person’s religion or skin color does NOT make them unAmerican.

There are those who believe every government conspiracy that comes across their Facebook feed in a meme without any fact-checking. And I don’t mean fact-checking on fly-by-night websites either! To research the truth, one must go to multiple sources and use critical thinking skills. Oh, wait. Some folks aren’t capable of critical thinking! They take what they are fed. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think the government, OUR government, is always truthful and transparent. However, just because you don’t understand how something happened doesn’t automatically shout cover-up!

Some friends believe that immigrants shouldn’t be helped. I know we can’t help them all, but the pure hatred some show and speak towards those fleeing from violence and oppression is terrifying to me. How can my friends be so hateful? And what about those affected by the hurricane in the Bahamas? Is there a reason why they shouldn’t be helped? They have nothing and we have everything!!

My empathic heart is in dreadful pain. It’s exhausted. I’m exhausted. I can’t bear to listen to or read another hateful word. So, I shall close myself off from those who cause me this pain. It’s bad enough to hear hatefulness spewing from a man who is supposed to represent this country. That man does not represent me.

grayscale photo of woman covering her mouth using her hands

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Tonight’s Playlist

Posted on August 1, 2019 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

I have been in a pissy mood all day. Seems like everything just rubs me the wrong damn way. I woke up in severe pain, that didn’t help. I couldn’t even reposition without being in agony. I just got up and started the day. It wasn’t early, but it was early for me, considering I didn’t go to bed until after 2am. Oh well. Getting up a little early won’t kill me. After a couple hours, I wished it would.

I tried to improve my mood with a little reading and then I did some piece work on my grandson’s blanket. That wasn’t helping much. I tried to do some writing but everything I wasn’t happy with anything I typed. So, I put on some music.

I tried some pop/rock and then my go-to playlist but what helped boost my mood were the darker, angrier, pissed off songs. Go figure. I thought I would share a few with you so here goes:

Pantera – Walk