No Apologies

I am who I am. I won’t apologize for being me. I’ve spent too many years of my life apologizing for one thing or another; things I shouldn’t have felt sorry for in the first place.

When I was growing up, I was never allowed to have an opinion or ask why. This was because of my mother, not my dear Dad. Dad was great, but he wasn’t around much. He worked a lot so he wasn’t privy to the goings on and the rantings of my mother. As a teenager, I knew I had a right to my own opinion but I was shot down continually with “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” That was my mother’s doing, again. I always felt the need to apologize for having an opinion. I knew that I wasn’t worldly by a long shot. I knew that I didn’t have much life experience, but did that mean I was stupid? Did that mean I wasn’t allowed to think for myself? Was I not supposed to form an opinion of my own and just go along with what my mother thought? No way Jose, as we said back in the day.

When I was able to move into my own apartment, it was peaceful and I felt free to think and choose for myself. Then I did something stupid and let my ex move in with me. He was the male version of my mother!! Holy crap. He always made me feel that I needed to explain myself; why did I think that way, who told me to think that way, and where did I hear that from? In some ways, he was worse than my mother!

When I left my ex, I was finally able to live my life my way and TRULY think for myself and make my own decisions. Since then, I get angry when someone tries to make me feel the way my mother and my ex did for all those years! I stopped apologizing. I stopped explaining myself. I stopped giving other people power to influence my thought process. I stopped letting others bully me. I have a mind of my own. I think for myself and….

I won’t apologize for:

*….being a liberal-minded person because at least I can say that I genuinely care about people, regardless of their skin color or sexual preference. I believe everyone has rights, even if they don’t fit into your nice little view of what “should be.”

*….being sensitive. That’s what makes me ME. I have a soft heart. I will cry when you cry. I will feel bad for anyone who is having a rough day/month/year/life. I will try to help someone in need, even if all they need is someone to talk to.

*….not giving my energy away to a**holes. If you’re going to be an a**hole, I’ll slam the proverbial door right in your face. I don’t need that sh*t. I won’t waste my time or energy on someone who thinks their sh*t don’t stink.

*….calling it like I see it. I’m not the type of person who will “go with the flow” just for the sake of peace or not “rocking the boat.” If I agree with someone, I agree. If I don’t agree, I’m going to tell you and I’m going to tell you why. If you don’t like it you should have kept your pie hole shut in the first place.

*….wanting our nation’s children to be safe when they go to school. Children are the future of this country. They are our most valuable commodity. They deserve to be protected better than they have been protected as of late. I’ve said it a million times if I’ve said it once: If I were to do it all over again, my kids would be homeschooled. Yep. Safer with me than at school these days. At least I would have the chance to protect them; I can’t do that if they’re at school.

*….not wanting to see sex scenes on tv or in the movies. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude. I don’t mind a romantic scene in a movie or tv show. I don’t mind the suggestion that 2 adults are going to hop in the sack. What I do mind is a full-blown sex scene with nudity, sound effects, etc. Geesh. Leave something to the imagination, please! You take away from the story when you fill the screen with sex, sex, sex. I really don’t think a good story needs sexually explicit scenes to get good reviews.

*….loving animals more than people…cuz people can sometimes suck. Animals don’t lie or stab you in the back. Animals don’t spread gossip. They don’t talk back or argue. Animals, domestic pets specifically, give unconditional love and affection. They don’t judge. They aren’t hateful. They accept you for who you are.

*….having no respect for the man currently sitting in the White House. Never will. I’m not even going to elaborate because if you agree with me then you’ll know why I feel that way. If you don’t agree with me, then you’ll have lame excuses for his behavior and you’ll start your name-calling. Par for the course these days. (And for the record, just because he’s POTUS doesn’t mean we have to blindly follow.)

*….not caring what you think about me or my opinions.

 

So, there you have it. Some of a long list of things I refuse to apologize for these days. No one should have to apologize for having their own opinions or for feeling the way they do. We all need to just let people be who they are. Stop getting your panties in a knot over someone else’s point of view. You’ll be happier and you’ll live much longer.

Do you apologize for things you shouldn’t have to? Stop doing that! 

A Piece of My Mind

Haha. No, I’m not going to tell anyone off. I just have a few things on my mind today.

  • My face has broken out. WTF? I’m 56 (almost) and I break out like a teenager? Kill me now.
  • I wish the $6.00 we spend each week on scratch offs and lottery would actually pay off!! Good grief. We could really use the money. The house is falling apart, literally. If we don’t get out of here soon, it just may fall in or down around us.

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                                          No, this isn’t my house! Not yet anyway!
  • I wish I could find something that would help me sleep at night. It doesn’t seem to matter what time I go to bed, how tired I am, if I had a nap or not. I don’t fall asleep until 3 or 3:30am.
  • The day after I go grocery shopping, the store has a SALE on the items on my list. Ugh. Never fails.
  • Why, oh why does Dad always have a sneeze attack in the middle of one of my favorite shows?
  • Not looking forward to the bugs and spiders that will accompany Spring. I feel them crawling on me already. mosquito-1754359_640
  • Know-it-alls. Ugh.
  • I rarely see my son anymore. He spends more time with his girlfriend’s family. Shame on him.
  • I miss my grandkids. Hoping for nice WARM weather soon so my pain level is low enough to enjoy having the granddaughter over! She’s the only one I have a relationship with, which is sad.

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  • Why, oh why must Kitty wait until late afternoon to puke up a hairball on my bed?? Why can’t she do this early in the day before I’m totally exhausted?

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                         Image Copyright Being Aunt Debbie
  • I have lists all over my desk; grocery lists, to-do lists, online shopping lists, birthday lists, idea lists…. Can I find the list I want? Nope.
  • Today is the first day of Spring, but it’s cold and windy and I’m sick of it. Lol.

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Oh, well. I guess I’ll survive. I always do!

Cleaning Out My Closet

My Facebook closet, that is…..

I am one of those people who feels things deeply and many times differently than most others. I am at a point in my life where I can take a friendship or leave it. I don’t need your bullshit. I don’t need the constant barrage of opinions and false information to clutter my mind or my Facebook feed. It’s exhausting. I have enough to worry about in my own life….in real life. Why can’t we just share pics of our families and pets and wonderful things happening in our lives? That’s the reason I got involved with Facebook in the first freakin’ place!

I’m sick of wading through post after post of what someone thinks about this, that, or the other. It’s like they are on a crusade of sorts to convince people to come over “to their side” or “to their way of thinking.” You know what? I already have an opinion. It’s an educated opinion. It’s MY opinion and you telling me what yours is, is NOT going to change mine!

I have always stated that I won’t ‘unfriend’ someone because their opinion is different than mine. I can still be friends with someone and not share the same thoughts on a given subject. I can, however, ‘unfollow’ those people who are constantly cramming their thoughts about politics, religion, LGBT rights, gun control, etc., down my throat via social media.

I don’t care if you love Trump and the bus he rode in on. I don’t care if you’re a Southern Baptist or a Catholic. I don’t care if you believe everyone on the planet should own a gun. I don’t care if gay rights upset you because it goes against your beliefs. I don’t care what you think about athletes kneeling before a game. I don’t give a rat’s ass in September if you have your own opinion! We ALL have our own opinions and we are entitled to them. That does NOT mean that everyone wants to know what you think about every subject known to man and then be belittled for having an independent, perhaps different thought.

One of the things that really gripes me is that when I see “an opinion” post on social media that I don’t agree with, I scroll on by….. I really don’t care how someone feels about a subject. I know that I won’t change their opinion by commenting what I think! But the very few times I have posted something that I believed with all of my heart to be any caring person’s view, I’ve had people comment and act as though I’ve committed a felony!

People’s opinions are based on their experiences, their perceptions, their interpretations. Sometimes, on actual facts. Go figure. That’s what I’d like to see more of on Facebook. Factual commenting, not berating, insults or ridicule, would be a welcomed change. At the very least, for folks to just scroll on by, would be very refreshing! But seems to me all anyone can do anymore is be disrespectful. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough.

So, I will be cleaning out my Facebook closet once again…..

 

Opinions: Not Right, Not Wrong

I don’t voice my opinion often, but when I do, I think I deserve the same respect that others expect when they voice their opinion. What I normally get is barked at by those who don’t agree, or disrespected in some other form….including confrontational private messages! Do you know what I do when I don’t like someone’s opinion? I just keep scrolling!!!! I don’t argue and bark at them as though they’re wrong or stupid for having an independent thought. I accept that others will have a different opinion, and discussion is always welcomed but have some damn respect!

Learn to be open-minded

I don’t know what it is about opinions that people don’t understand. Opinions are neither right nor wrong. Opinions are views or judgments formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. They are based on a person’s perception or experience of a situation. My opinions are normally formed after I consider both sides of the matter. This is something I think many people neglect to do. They just “thump their chest” as if to say, “What I say matters!” Well, so does mine. Everyone has the right to form an opinion, and to not be disrespected, even if views are different. I use to tell my kids as they were growing up, “If you want to be respected for your opinion, then you must first respect the opinions of others.” It’s just that simple.

My Blog, My Drama

I started this blog way back in 2008. It was a way for me to express myself through the turmoil that had just begun. It was therapeutic.

It has always been difficult for me to express myself verbally. I attribute that to the fact that my mother stifled me every chance she got. My opinion wasn’t important. My feelings didn’t matter. I was the child and children were to be seen and not heard.

Into adulthood, my ex treated me just about the same way. I found myself having to explain what I meant at every turn. I learned to keep my mouth shut. It was just easier than having to explain myself constantly. I think that’s what he was aiming for anyway. That was his way of stifling me like my mother always did.

So, anyway…. 2008 began with a series of events that became even more troubling as time went on. I needed an outlet. I had to do something to keep myself from going bonkers. I started writing. I hadn’t started seeing my therapist yet; that came a few years later. I think Dr. M would be very proud of me taking this blog to another level, stepping out of my comfort zone. Being Aunt Debbie has always been public, but I never advertised or shared it, except with a few choice people. I am definitely out of my comfort zone!

In July, I decided to share, share, share. I decided to let Google index my blog. I started interacting with other bloggers; I commented on their blogs, and in turn, I received a very warming acceptance. I received comments on my posts. I even started a Facebook page to pair with my blog. It has been a positive experience, for the most part.

The part that isn’t positive is when I receive confrontational comments on my posts, which have nothing to do with the post. Let me just say that I don’t do confrontational. This is MY blog. So, only MY drama is allowed. I don’t have time for your BS. Don’t like my blog? Don’t read it. Don’t like my attitude? Don’t follow me; not on WordPress, not on Facebook, not on Instagram.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not always right. My opinions differ at times. I can handle a discussion about different topics, even when opinions differ. What I can’t handle….no, what I won’t handle is YOUR attitude if you come off confrontational. I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m just keeping it real. Real simple. Be nice or go home.