Category Archives: Health

I Have To Get Out Of Here!

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I bumped into someone I know when I was out one day before Christmas. I had to stop at the Dollar Tree to get some Christmas gift bags, tissue paper, and a few household essentials. I hadn’t seen her since probably last Christmas, and it was also in the Dollar Tree. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me her husband had passed away just before Thanksgiving. I told her how sorry I was for her loss. Then after a brief conversation, I told her I’d love to visit with her but that maybe we could get together for lunch or coffee. I explained that right now I have to get done and get off my feet.

She knows of my pain and mobility issues, but she exclaimed, “What’s your hurry?” I’m in pain 24/7 and today is no exception. I told her my legs will not let me stand here and visit. I HAVE to get done and get out of here! I told her to have a Merry Christmas and I moved up the aisle with my shopping cart to finish my shopping.

She followed me. Good grief, I thought. She was right behind me, talking to me! I turned and responded to what she said and then trying not to be rude, I told her I had to go and that it was nice seeing her. I wanted to scream at her, but I didn’t especially want to attract attention from every shopper and worker in the store! Good grief!

She continued to follow me, talking the whole time. I responded to her but tried to finish my shopping. Dad came up the aisle and I asked him if he was done. He told me he was and I told my friend, “Goodbye! It was nice seeing you again!” We rushed up to the front of the store to check out. By then, my legs were on fire. I was desperate to get to the car so I could sit down.

I just can’t understand why some people don’t get it. I know they don’t know my pain, but when you tell someone you have to go and why, you’d think they would back the fuck off. I was trying not to be rude.

I guess the trick is…what? To be rude so you get the point across? I’ll remember that for next time.

Trouble With Nerves

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It’s been a rough year but most especially the last 6 months. From personal drama to health issues…what’s coming in 2024? I don’t even want to know.

The last 2 months have been difficult beginning with the week before Thanksgiving. I did some chores (because who’s gonna do them if I don’t?) and I overdid it. It doesn’t take much for me to overdo things, but I normally snap back in a couple of days. This time, I didn’t. It started with what I thought was the arthritis taking over my pelvic bone. Then, my left leg kept falling asleep on me. Not while I was sitting, mind you. I can be standing or walking and all of a sudden my leg will fall asleep. If I am on my feet for too long (10 or 15 minutes is sometimes too long) my left leg will start to burn. Just BURN like hell. I also noticed my left leg was swelling up near my knee. I thought surely I had a pinched nerve. Finally, I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Ok, not a doctor but my Nurse Practitioner.

My NP spent nearly 2 hours with me trying to pinpoint the problem. I have never had any doctor spend that kind of time with me for any reason! I explained the problem I was having and she asked a lot of questions and poked and prodded my lower spine. and came to the conclusion that I have inflamed nerves in my lower spine where it meets the pelvic bone. She gave me a steroid injection which helped tremendously for about 24 hours and then some of the pain and discomfort came back. I received a second steroid injection a few days later. It helped a little but not as much as I had hoped.

She put me on a more mild diuretic than Lasix which I was taking as needed. I hated taking the Lasix because I spent too much time in the bathroom and I didn’t want to kill my kidneys. The new diuretic (hydrochlorothiazide or HCTZ) seems to be helping with the swelling. It’s not enough that I have to wear compression sleeves on my lower legs to prevent swelling, now I have to deal with this new area swelling up. Ugh.

I’m still having issues with the inflamed nerves but my NP said it may take some time. I’m trying to be patient. I haven’t experienced a lot of that burning sensation since the injections so I feel like it IS getting better. Weather permitting, I will go see my NP again next week. I was going to go this week but why do today when you can put off until tomorrow? Haha.

I really like my NP and her nurse is spectacular, too! I just hate going because I don’t want her to send me to some jerk doctor who won’t do anything but make me feel worse. They always seem to think they have to TELL me I’m overweight as if I don’t know. I want to say to them, “Hey asshole. I know I’m fat. I don’t need you to tell me that!” I wouldn’t be so much overweight if I had received proper medical care in the beginning. Then maybe I’d have been able to continue my daily exercise of walking (or some form of exercise like my recumbent bike) to keep my weight down. Maybe I’d have my knee replacements by now, too!

Ugh. Anyway, that’s what’s what in my neck of the woods. We’ll be getting snow soon. I don’t mind that as long as we have what we need and don’t need to leave the house. Another excuse not to go to the doctor. Haha.

Toodles, my friends!

Holiday Depression

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I won’t be spending much time online until after the holidays. I may pop in at times to read a blog or two, perhaps even comment. Facebook is my go-to for staying in touch with friends and family but during the holidays it’s just depressing. It’s depressing to see posts and photos of family get-togethers, grandkids having fun, and all that good stuff. Why? I’ll explain.

When I was in my 40s and my kids were nearing the age of adulthood, I always envisioned my 50s and 60s with grandkids all around me during the holidays with good food, laughter, and gift-giving. But that didn’t happen. I’m in my 60s and disabled so I can’t travel to see the grandkids, contrary to what some may think. They don’t travel to see us, so I feel even less important and lonely. I have 4 grandchildren within 20 miles and rarely see them. One I haven’t seen in years. One I saw last year and didn’t even recognize her because it had been that long since I saw her last. I see the other 2 (brothers, one is a baby) mostly during the holidays for a few hours. The baby I have seen only once. I will see them this coming week if everything goes as planned.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m taking things too personally but I feel like everyone else gets to enjoy my grandkids while I sit on the sidelines. And poor Dad. He doesn’t even have a relationship with any of his great-grandkids! I see photos of them on Facebook and I love seeing those photos but damn, it’s so depressing! So that’s why I’m going to stay off Facebook until after the holidays. I hate the holidays. I truly, truly hate the holidays.

I’ve not been doing well physically for the past few weeks. I did some major chores and really messed something up. I have pinched nerves as a result. I can’t sit still any longer than I can walk or stand. My rotator cuff injury has been bothering me off and on as well. I’m a hot mess.

Dad is doing ok, aside from falling twice in less than a week. He didn’t hurt himself except for a bruise on his arm. I’m really worried about him and that’s leading to a lot more stress and sleepless nights.

The 3 furbabies are doing well and believe it or not, Jack and BobCat are actually getting along quite well these days! I think they may have had a scuffle or a powwow one day while we were gone because there are times that Jack cowers down to BobCat. Maybe they have come to an agreement of some kind?! Or maybe Alice told them to knock off the horseshit.

I’m making a ham in the instant pot on Thanksgiving, and I’ll whip up some mashed potatoes (the day before) and gravy. I bought pre-made frozen pies because my oven is dead and well, I can’t stand in the kitchen for long. My son and daughter-in-law are bringing the sweet potatoes, rolls, and green bean casserole, (and the 2 grandkids!). My bestie is bringing appetizers. I hope my pain level will allow me to enjoy the day or at least a few hours.

I won’t be blogging until after the holidays so I will wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year all at once! Thank you for following my blog!

Peace, Love, and Rock n Roll,

BAD

Spit It Out, Will You??

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Last month, Dad and I went to the Health Department to get our updated Covid-19 vaccinations. Things went well. There was no delay in being called back. The ladies in the office and the nurses giving the vaccines were on top of things. We were ready to leave when Dad spies a sign that read, “Get Your Shingles Vaccine Today.” He and I both need to get it done so I inquired at the window. Another nurse was called up to the window to answer my inquiry. Her name was Becky and I assumed she would be competent. I assumed wrong!

First, she asked for our insurance cards to check if Shingrix was covered. It took her 40 minutes to come back and tell us that Dad’s would be covered but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. The way she spoke annoyed the crap out of me. It was like she needed a smack on the back of the head to spit it out. She was really trying my patience. (And I really don’t think it was a speech impediment because I heard her talking to one of the other nurses without trouble.)

Finally, after having to concentrate on what she was trying to say, I understood that the state-provided vaccine would be free for me. Okay, that’s great because I can’t afford $200 a pop…and there are 2 flippin’ vaccines 6 months apart! So, off Becky went to see about available appointments. Well, guess what? They didn’t have any state-provided Shingrix vaccines. Did she check to see when they would be getting more in? No. She had to go back and check. She came back and said she didn’t know when they would be getting more in but that I should check back periodically. She then said she would go back to see when they had available appointments for Dad. She should have done that already when she said was checking the first time! Then she came back and asked me to come to her office to see when a good time would be. Holy crap. Her desk was a disaster area! I don’t know how anyone could do their job with a desk in that condition!

Anyway, I made the appointment for Dad to get his first Shingrix vaccine. Becky told us again that the state-provided vaccine would be free but she didn’t know when they would get more in. She said she would try to find out and call me. After an hour and 20 minutes, we finally got out of that place! (The first 10 minutes were smooth sailing!)

Becky tried to call us several times in the following week. Dad answered the first time but she couldn’t speak up and spit it out so he hung up on her. (I assumed it was her, perhaps it wasn’t.) The next time she called I answered and after every 3 or 4 words she would stop and say, “Can you hear me?” I was getting so damn annoyed that I finally yelled, “Yes. I can hear you! What do you want?!” Then dial tone. She hung up on me. I hoped she wouldn’t call back. I told Dad if the phone rings again, don’t answer. Just let her leave a voicemail.

The following week, she called and we weren’t home so she had no choice but to leave a voicemail. She stuttered and stammered through the entire message and told me absolutely nothing that I didn’t already know! Her phone call was a waste of time. If I had been home to answer the phone, I would have told her that!

Things like that really get under my skin! I expected a nurse to tell me that we were or were not covered by our insurance, and then make appointments to get the vaccine. I expected to be told what I needed to know in a timely manner. Being disabled and in constant pain, I do not have the patience or energy for such bullshit.

I used to be a very patient person. Over the years, as my chronic pain and mobility issues advanced, my patience went out the window. I don’t like phone calls or incompetence. I loathe having to deal with people. I despise red tape and bureaucratic bullshit. We all have those things to contend with but I just can’t handle it anymore.

Never Again…

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It’s been a rough week. Physically and mentally. Draining. Not that busy mind you, but for my pain-laden body it’s been a bit too much.

On Tuesday, I had a curbside order to pick up and they must’ve had troubles that day because after I checked in, I had to wait for 20 minutes before they even acknowledged I was there. Then it was another 10 minutes before my groceries came out. No big deal really. I know shit happens. It’s just the waiting. I’ve never been good at waiting. On the way home I must have got behind every slow driver in the county! Good grief. I’m sure most of those people think it’s safer to drive slow – FOR THEM maybe, but not for other drivers. Other drivers, like me, will sometimes get impatient and pass in the wrong places. I have passed where it is not advisable but I only pass if can see far enough ahead that there is no oncoming traffic. I just hate getting behind someone doing 25-30 in a 55!! Anyway, I finally made it home only to have to unload the groceries I just picked up. Now my knees were killing me.

Wednesday began with me trying to figure out how I was going to get Alice to the vet for her yearly check-up and vaccinations without her hiding from me. Last month, she knew something was up because the carrier was out and she saw that I was getting ready to go somewhere. She hid under my bed so I took Jack to the vet instead. No big deal, but she had to go eventually. So, in order to trick her, I wore my sweatpants and I didn’t style my hair. Boy, did I feel like a slob! The carrier has been sitting out since last month so she was used to seeing it. She didn’t have a clue what was going on and she came right to me and I picked her up and put her in the carrier. Of course, she put up a little bit of a fight but I got her in there! She weighs 16 lbs. now and Dr. Missy gave her the dewormer I brought because I could never get pills down her throat. She would always gag them back up. Too expensive to waste them! I was able to deworm Jack and BobCat with no trouble. Anyway, that was the end of that but by the time I got home, I was exhausted.

Thursday was by far, the MOST aggravating day of the week! Dad and I had our appointment at the Health Department for the newest COVID-19 vaccine. That went pretty smoothly but then Dad saw the sign that read “Get Your Shingles Vaccine Today” and we both needed to get the shingles vaccine so I inquired at the window and a nurse took our insurance cards so we could set up an appointment, but my insurance won’t cover it and they are out of the state-provided vaccine (that would be free for me) so I have to go somewhere else. Dad has an appointment next month because his insurance covers the vaccine. After an hour of waiting and being informed of this and that, we were finally done and left. That’s when the fun started. Ha. I decided I wanted to pop into Walmart to pick up ONE thing and get some cash back. I haven’t been to Walmart in a couple of years! And maybe only twice since COVID-19 began. Luckily they had scooters available and I grabbed one with 100% power, if you can believe that! But the POS kept stopping as I was moving along. Do you know how irritating that is? Then as I was headed to the front of the store, some guy walked out in front of me as if I wasn’t even there! He didn’t even acknowledge what he did. I should have just ran into him instead of being the “nice guy” and stopping abruptly. After picking up more things than I really wanted, I was ready to check out and Dad was tired as hell. Check-out went smoothly. Afterward, we headed out the door but the fucking scooter decided to STOP again just as I was going through the doors. I had people behind me wanting out the door but the scooter wouldn’t budge. I was furious! And then to make me nearly come unhinged, a Walmart employee yells at me very loudly, “You have to use the controls!” I just about lost my shit! I yelled back, “I AM using the controls! How the hell do you think I got to this point? You moron!” I know. It was rude of me but geez, do these people think that disabled people are stupid or something? He could have assisted me since he was aware that I was having a problem but no, he just yelled at me. I was so painfully aware of people behind me wanting out the door and I was extremely frustrated. I told Dad to give me a push to see if the damn scooter would move and it still wouldn’t budge. Somehow, I did get out of the door and to the edge of the parking lot. I knew that if I tried to cross the lot to get to the car it was just going to stop again and I didn’t want to be stranded in the middle of the parking lot waiting to be run over! I asked Dad to grab the shopping basket that someone abandoned parked to my right. I got off of the scooter, loaded my stuff into the shopping basket, and Dad pushed the cart while I hobbled on my crutches to the car. I hope to never HAVE to go inside a Walmart again as long as I live!

I am so worn out today and in pain, too. My arm is sore as hell from the COVID-19 vaccine. I can barely walk and I still had to fix lunch. I also have laundry and other chores to do but you know what? It can all just sit and wait until I feel like doing it. On the bright side, I managed to finish my latest grandbaby’s baby blanket so I can send it home with my son today when he’s done working on the new house. I actually finished the blanket last night but I had to wash and dry it before giving it away! I’m adding a couple photos to this post. I don’t know how good they are since the lighting is shit in my house. The colors are Light Sage, Blue Spruce, Gray Mist, and Antique White, and are much brighter than the photos show! The lower left-hand corner looks a bit wonky but I just didn’t have it spread out properly.

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