Back On Track!

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, then you know I have pain and mobility issues. You also know that I am in dire need of knee replacement surgery. First, a not-real-quick recap:

My journey started around 11 years ago, with a doctor that didn’t do anything from the very beginning. Now, let me just say that I knew I needed to lose weight and I KNEW I had to do this myself, but from the get-go my doctor did absolutely nothing to help me with anything. I had trouble since my first child was born, trying to lose weight. She said, “You just need to count calories” and offered absolutely NO assistance or guidance. She gave me a script for pain meds and that was the end of that.

When I FINALLY got my doctor to refer me to a specialist in 2016, I was thrilled. I thought I was finally getting somewhere. Well, the specialist was an asshole with a God complex and shamed and belittled me for 40 minutes. (It’s not like I weighed 600 pounds…not even half of that at my heaviest!) It was something I will never forget. Anyway, shortly after that happened I signed up for Nutrisystem.

Nutrisystem was what I had needed years ago but never had the money to spend on it. It works but it’s quite costly. I did the program faithfully and religiously for almost a year until I was so sick of the food I had to take a break. I had lost 60 pounds, and with high hopes went to see my new doctor, who set me up with a new specialist.

The new specialist was impressed that I had lost 60 pounds in less than a year. However, this was not enough of a loss to consider surgery yet, plus I needed to strengthen my leg muscles.

Fast forward, to last summer. I was so sick of Nutrisystem foods that I stayed off the plan for a bit. We had company off and on and we went out to eat a LOT. Then, Thanksgiving rolled around….and Christmas….and well, I GAINED 25 pounds back!

Uh oh. I need to do something, right? So, in January I purchased an exercise machine called an Air Walker. It’s an elliptical, but not a traditional elliptical. It’s more like a glider instead of a stepper. I purchased this scary contraption because the video showed the woman was NOT having to bend her knees. Perfect for me! I started with 5 minutes a day and worked up to 5 minutes, 3 times a day. Not a lot, I know, but it was more than I was doing before! I worked up to 10 minutes twice a day and now, I’m doing 15 minutes twice a day! Yay! That’s 30 minutes a day and just a little over 1700 ‘steps’ per day. I feel my legs getting stronger. I’m not using the wheelchair as much, but still using my cane.

Also in January, I restarted Nutrisystem. Then I f***ed up. So, I started again…. I restarted the program 4 times since then! The food was just too much for me to hack anymore. Not that it’s bad; most of it is decent and some quite good. It was just the same ol’ same ol’ over and over again. Blah.

That’s when my daughter, SR, texted me and told me that she was doing Weight Watchers. She told me a little about it and the cost wasn’t too bad; less than $20 month for online only. So, I signed up! (Apparently, WW has changed quite a bit since the last time I looked into it.)

I started last Sunday and caught on very quickly. It’s not hard to do at all. No meetings or humiliating weigh-ins. You track the food you eat and stay within your point budget, determined by WW. One week later, I have lost 8.4 pounds.

I lost 8.4 pounds in one week!

(I know some was probably water weight but I’ll take it!)

I’m back on track, finally. I will keep on until I have my weight down (and my BMI) to what the specialist wants and I’ll get my legs stronger so recovery will go smoother. I can’t wait to go back to the specialist and say, “Hey, enough waiting. Let’s get the show on the road! I have an exciting life left to live!”



A New Year, A New Start

I’ve not been writing much as of late. I’ve had much to say but no desire to write it down. Maybe that’s for the better. I sometimes feel like that’s all I do is write about my shitty problems. On the other hand, that’s part of why I started this blog. I wanted an outlet to write about the things I love, the things I despise, and things that make me laugh. Writing, or keeping a journal helps a lot of folks, not just me. It’s been therapeutic. It’s been a positive in my life so I’m not about to quit! I must, however, get back to it!

So, here I sit. So many things that have plagued my life over the last few months now seem less bothersome. Except for one thing: My pain issues. I have over the years tried many things to alleviate the pain, from OTC meds, creams, lotions, and patches to natural herbs and essential oils. I have purchased several items for exercise that I have either not been able to use or they just didn’t help. Last year, I purchased a recumbent bike because I was at the beginning of a weight loss journey that resulted in a 60 lb. loss, but even after the weight loss was still not able to use the bike! I was disillusioned and just plain pissed off! I couldn’t even use the floor peddler I had had for several years. I use to use it every day but when my knees got worse, it became more difficult and the pain would be increased by using it.

In December, I stumbled across a fantastic machine called an Air Walker. I watched a video of it being used and I realized that since I wouldn’t have to bend at the knee to use this machine, I’d have to purchase it and give it a try. I’m so very glad I did! I feel like my leg muscles are getting stronger just since I started using it at the beginning of the month. It has helped me kick-start my diet again and I’m back to losing more weight while making my legs stronger.

With any luck at all, this will be the year I get my knee surgery that I so desperately need to live a productive and quality life. I feel like the last 11 years of my life have just been wasted. Going from doctor to doctor, trying to get help, ANY help has been some of the most wasted time I have ever spent! I know that I need to do the work, that’s a no-brainer. No one can lose the weight for me. No one can exercise for me. It’s on me, I know. It would have been nice, though, to find a doctor who was willing to provide guidance and information, rather than the normal “fat-shaming” that does nothing but tear a person down!

So, I am creating a new me. I finally see a little light at the end of the tunnel. A real light, my own light! Not the fake light I thought I was seeing mid-2017.

Here’s to the new me! Here’s to 2018! Wish me luck!! 


Hopeful…. But Not Too Hopeful

I’ve been sitting here at the computer tonight, not really into anything in particular. My mind is elsewhere. I’ve got an appointment tomorrow with my ortho doc.

6 months ago, I tried the Synvisc-One injection in my knees. I had such high hopes. When I left the office, I was walking faster than I had in years and I had less pain. The shots seemed to have helped! I went home, under orders to not overdo it, so I took a nap. When I woke up the effects of the injections was gone. Despair set in. I couldn’t try the other injection for 6 more months!

I’m not really anxious about my appointment. I didn’t experience any severe pain with the last round of shots so I’m not worried about pain. I guess I’m just trying to keep myself from becoming too hopeful. High hopes have always caused disappointment in the past. I still have to hope this round of injections will ease my pain, but I’m not counting on it. I never count on anything to actually pan out in terms of help for my pain issues….story of my life.

I’ll hit the sack tonight with hope for a good result tomorrow but I’m not going to let it keep me awake thinking about it. I guess that’s part of the reason I’m writing about it. Getting it off my chest before bed.

Fingers crossed. That’s the best I can do.