Category Archives: Health

Stress, Worry, and Pain

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14

Where to start?! So much has happened in the last week, it’s just kind of a blur. I’ll start on July 4th, which seems like such a long time ago!

Last Friday, Dad and I headed out for a Walmart curbside order. We picked up our order, stopped for gas, and headed home. When we got home, Dad said he had to pee but that he wasn’t going to make it to the toilet so he stepped to the side of the yard and did his business. We live out in the boonies, so there’s no one around to see anything. While Dad was doing his thing, I was unloading the trunk and putting our groceries in the utility cart so we could lug it into the house. All of a sudden, I heard a yell, and when I looked up, Dad was on his hands and knees trying to get up.

He wasn’t injured, and he was coherent. He had just lost his balance and went down. He’s been doing this off and on for the last year or so but never outside. I rushed over to help but there’s nothing for him to hang onto in order for him to help me help him get up. Does that make sense? I tried and tried to get him up, but it just wasn’t working. I hobbled myself into the house to get the bathlift, which is like the lift they advertise on tv for the elderly when they fall. The only difference is that the bathlift is heavier. I tried to help him get his butt on the seat but he couldn’t sit up enough for it to work. He got so weak trying to get up that he just couldn’t anymore.

I called 9-1-1 at this point because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do this without help. I told the dispatcher I needed help getting him off the ground and to please hurry because he’s in the sun! I was almost in a panic when Dad became unresponsive. There he was lying there IN THE SUN, and I was helpless. I grabbed our wet towels we had in the car (to help us stay cool because the a/c is on the fritz) and I wet them down more, and laid them across Dad’s head and back to help keep him cool. The ambulance was taking its sweet time! I called 9-1-1 again. The dispatcher asked for the address again. I told her AGAIN. I think I called 3 times and each time I told her that Dad was on the ground and IN THE SUN, and that I couldn’t get him up.

By this time, our neighbor, Mike, who is a volunteer firefighter, came to help. Two other helpful men came over, also volunteer firefighters, but honestly I have no clue who showed up first. We got more towels to drape over him and one guy had an umbrella he used to keep the direct sun off of Dad.

Finally, the ambulance came. One of the paramedics told me that the dispatcher gave them the wrong address, plus she never relayed the message that this was a heat related incident. I am so angry at that woman! They took Dad to the hospital. I was so hot and stressed out by then, I went inside and jumped in the shower, A COLD SHOWER, to be exact. I just sat there on the shower chair and cried as I cooled off. It was awful. I prayed that Dad would be ok. Then off to the hospital I went.

I had to talk to so many people, and I was dehydrated, so my mouth and throat became so dry I couldn’t talk unless someone brought me some water. They did, and it helped, but not very much. They took Dad to ICU and then they brought me to the ICU waiting room. At this point, I started texting people to let them know what had happened. It didn’t look great for Dad. He was still unresponsive and his temperature had been at 104 degrees when he came in. They were able to get his temp down to normal and he was on all kinds of IV drips and holy crap, it was awful seeing him like that! He was also on a ventilator. He suffered severe burns on his calves from the fabric of his pants touching his skin. IT WAS THAT HOT.

I don’t remember who came first. It could have been my son, since he lives closest but I can’t be sure. The grandkids (Dad’s great grandkids) started coming. I was so overwhelmed by everything, it’s just so blurry. The next day, my sisters and my brother in law came in from Tennessee. My daughter had just been here a couple of weeks before this happened. She had been worried that something would happen and that she’d not been able to see him. I’m glad she came when she did. Work interfered with her coming at this time because she just started as manager of a new Pizza Hut when she got home from her visit.

As the days have gone by, Dad has slowly showed improvement. He came off the vent with a throat sore he couldn’t talk. As the swelling came down, his speech improved. Still not at 100% so it’s a little hard to understand him. He had been on a diet of puree and thickened liquids until yesterday, when they changed it to a mechanical diet. That means he can eat things like meat but it looks like it’s been chewed up already. LOL. His burns are healing. They took him off the IV drips yesterday. They have had him up walking. It tires him out terribly but he’s doing better.

As I was leaving yesterday, they were getting a regular room ready for him. From here they want him to get some physical therapy to make him stronger so we found a place closer to home that takes his insurance. He will be moving there soon, but it’s only temporary, until he’s stronger and can come home. Please pray that he does well enough to come home.

In case you don’t know, I am disabled and can only walk with crutches. This proved to be very difficult for me to get across the hospital parking lot to the building. Every day. When my sisters were here, my youngest sister got a transport chair and pushed me around, making it easier on me. After they left though, I was on my own. I am not strong enough to get my wheelchair in the car otherwise I would have been able to wheel myself around. They have a guy that drives a cart around the parking lots, giving people rides but I had a difficult time getting on and off of that thing so I just walk. I’m in so much pain I just want to sit on my ass and not move at all. This morning my arms and shoulders are sore from using the crutches, I assume. I was going to go see Dad today, but I don’t think I can do that walk again.

I may have forgotten some details but I think you can understand all that happened. It’s been such a short time but it seems like it’s been weeks. I miss Dad not being home. It’s been difficult, mentally and physically. Tomorrow’s my birthday and Dad won’t be here. We don’t celebrate our birthdays really but it’s many, many years (30+) that he’s not been here on my birthday. It seems so strange.

I now need to figure out how I can get that new house finished so when Dad comes home it’s to a nice house instead of a dump. That’s the focus. My family might be coming back and I think they will help me get things figured out. Fingers crossed that all goes well. I will keep you all posted as best I can. Please pray for us!

Until next time,

PS I apologize for spelling and grammar errors. I’m lucky I can even see straight at this point.

A Spider In My Shirt! A Spider In My Shirt!

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If you know anything about me at all, you know that spiders freak me out. I mean, to the point of being absolutely terrified of them! One time, when I worked in the nursing home, a tarantula came out from under the snack machine and I was at least 10 feet away but when it headed in my direction, I screamed! Some of the more alert old ladies heard the commotion and wondered what had happened. Spider happened.

The other day, I was ready for my afternoon nap and I got somewhat settled in my power chair, with pillows under my knees. I reached for my blanket hanging over the back of my chair that I hadn’t used in a few days because it’s been so warm. I was flipping it around, trying to get it straightened and I felt something land in my shirt. I thought, what the hell was that? I looked right away and there was a spider! It wasn’t too big but big enough to scare the bejesus out of me. I just about lost my mind. I can’t get up fast so jumping up out of my chair to rid myself of the 8-legged freak was out of the question. I had no choice but to use my shirt to grab it. I didn’t let go. I was trying to figure out what the hell to do and the only thing I could think of was to squish it. I didn’t squish it to beyond recogntion because I wanted to see what kind it was.

I have been bitten by a Brown Recluse before (identified by me, my dad, and a doctor) and it wasn’t pleasant. I didn’t suffer the tissue damage that most people experience. It was red, swollen, and itchy. I used tea tree oil on it until I could get to the doctor. It was more stressful than anything else and my blood pressure showed it. Anyway, this current situation wasn’t anything like the Brown Recluse incident but I sure as hell knew I didn’t want whatever kind of spider it was, to bite me! Upon removing it from my shirt and inspection, I discovered it wasn’t a Brown Recluse. Thank goodness!

It was an awful experience, regardless. I hate spiders. If I could rid this world of one thing it would be spiders….or maybe…well, you guess what the other might be. Snort.

What The #&$*!!

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11

You won’t read this until later, but it’s 6am as I type. I’m shocked I can even see straight. I haven’t slept a wink ALL freaking night long. Not even half a wink. It’s the pharmacy’s fault.

One could argue that it’s my fault for not ordering my gabapentin refill (prescribed to me for nerve pain), but the pharmacy refills ALL of my other meds automatically each month. So, when my gabapentin refill came due, I forgot to order it. I blew through all of my extras after ordering the refill on the 3rd. The mail didn’t run due to snow last week plus the National Day of Mourning for Jimmy Carter so my refill was delayed. I took my last capsule yesterday morning. I normally take 1 in the morning, 1 at lunch, and 2 at bedtime. 

Beginning withdrawals from this pain-in-the-ass drug start within 12-48 hours. Symptoms include anxiety, insomnia, nausea, and sweating. (That’s just the first phase of withdrawal!) So, when I went to bed at midnight, I could not fall asleep to save my own life. I was sweating so bad that I threw my blanket off. It was not hot in the house by a long shot since we turn the heat off at night. It was probably around 40 degrees. My skin was cold but I was hot as hell. When it dawned on me what the problem was, I thought Hey, I think I might have a few extras in my purse! I sure did, so I took 2. That was at 4am and it helped with the sweating but I still couldn’t sleep and I had a pounding headache so I just got up.

And here I sit. I have extras to get me through tonight and one for Tuesday morning. That’s it. The roads look pretty good so the mail should run today. Hell, if the pharmacy wasn’t 30 miles away, I could pick up my refills. Who has the money for gas to go 30 miles one-way several times a month for refills in a town that I don’t frequent? 

Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.

Little Shits

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6

I’m starting this month out just great…or ending this year great. Not sure which. This morning at 5:10am I was up to go to the bathroom. After I got settled back in my chair, with ear plugs and eye mask, I was nearly killed by Jack and BobCat, who insisted on fighting. I sleep in my lift chair and the two little shits were bouncing on and off me as they ran through the house. I was getting pissed because Jack is just too aggressive and I was afraid I’d be clawed to death, stuck in the middle of a cat fight. 

So, after they declined to knock it the hell off, I decided to get up and put the fear of God in them. I’m not really sure what happened as I am always very careful. I think I lost my balance trying to put my shoes on. I normally put my shoes on before I stand up. Anyway, I lost my balance and down I went. HARD. On my right thigh/hip. Damn. I cried. 

Dad heard me fall and was horrified! There I was. Sprawled out on the living room floor in tears. I knew nothing was broken but damn, my leg hurt. I thought, how the hell am I going to get off the floor? I have grab bars strategically placed throughout the house for exactly this reason. Little did I know it would still be nearly impossible, for me to get up. I had to scoot about 20 feet to get to the grab bar. Then, because my knees are in such sad shape, I couldn’t bend them to pull myself up. I had Dad bring my shoes, which I call mock crocs, so I could get better traction. Nope. That didn’t work. I had Dad get the gait belt with handles so maybe he could help a little. Nope. Not yet. We have a 3″ step that sits between the kitchen and the laundry room because there’s a 5″ step that’s difficult for me. The 3″ step helps a little. I had Dad bring that over to me and I slid that sucker up under my fat ass. The thought was that maybe if I were up a little higher, that would help. It did help, but poor Dad probably strained himself trying to help from behind, grabbing the handles of the gait belt and pulling me up. Holy crayoli. I was up. It only took 45 minutes. 

Now, I sit here in pain. My right leg is killing me. Nothing broken but holy crap, the spot on my hip where I landed is tender to the touch. By tonight it will be purple, I’m sure. Oh, and my arms will hurt, too. 

Great way to start December or to end the year? Which do you think?

Lord, Have Mercy On My Tired Soul

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6

It all started with a flat tire. I figured Dad would just call AAA in the next day or so…more like weeks later because he never wants to call anyone for anything. Ugh. My DIL sent someone over to change the tire for us the next morning. I wasn’t even awake yet but that’s ok, I knew I could take a nap later. So, here’s this skinny girl out there trying to get the lug nuts off and one just won’t budge. I was shocked that she could get any of them off, honestly. Well, she wasn’t able to get that last one so she left. 

The aggravation started when Dad decided to call AAA. Not that hard, right? Well, he called the tire shop in town first which was ridiculous because he would still have to call AAA to get it covered and he knew this. I told him that, too. The guy at the tire shop told him the same thing but if the lug nut was stripped then his shop had no way of getting it off. Seriously? So, Dad calls AAA. But he doesn’t. He ends up calling the tire shop again because that’s the business card he had in his hand. I asked him, “Are you calling AAA,” and he nods his head. He gets the tire shop and they tell him again that he has to call AAA first. Good grief. 

He calls AAA, finally. The line was busy the first time. Dad sat there for 3 minutes listening to the busy signal. I could hear it from where I sat. I timed him. After 3 minutes I asked him why he was listening to the busy signal. He said he was waiting to see if someone would realize he was trying to call. I said, “Dad, it doesn’t work that way!” Anyway, he calls again and gets a real person. He explains the situation with the lug nut. They said they would make some calls to find the right shop to do the job, and they would call him back within the hour. That’s good, right? But Dad gave them the wrong address and the wrong phone number! Before he could hang up I told him to verify the address and phone number. I could hear the woman’s voice on the other end and she repeated the address and phone number correctly. At least they had it on file correctly. In the meantime, someone else shows up, who Dad believes to be from a shop that AAA sent. It wasn’t. We found out the gal that was here first thing had called a friend of hers who lived in the area. He was an older man. 

While Dad was outside talking to the older man, the phone rang but I didn’t get to it in time. It was another tire shop that AAA contacted. The man left a voicemail and said he was on his way. I would have called him back right away but I wasn’t sure if the older man would get that blasted lug nut loose or not. So, I waited. 

The older man managed to get the lug nut loose and put the donut on the car. Before Dad even got back in the house, another guy showed up from the first shop that Dad had called. Dad just assumed that AAA called them. (They told Dad that they had no way of removing a stripped lug nut, so why send someone out anyway?) 

When Dad came inside, I told him about the call from Ed’s tire shop and he said, “He was just here.” I said, “No. It couldn’t have been because the call came in when the older guy was out there talking to you.” He told me he didn’t know that guy’s name but it was someone from Ron’s. I told him that not enough time had passed for Ed’s Shop guy to travel 30 miles. He just wasn’t getting it. He kept saying, “The guy from Ron’s was just here.” I told him again, “It was ED’s Shop that called, Dad. Not Ron’s.” He said, “Oh.” Finally getting it. I told him he’d better call him if the tire situation was taken care of, so they don’t waste their time and gas. He said he would but he had no way of knowing their number. Holy crap on a cracker. I gave him the number from the voicemail and he called. Good grief. 

It was suggested to me that I take over and make all of the calls, getting Dad’s permission to represent him. I would do that but Dad needs to keep his mind working. He does absolutely nothing all day but watch tv. He washes the few lunch dishes we have most days and helps with the laundry but that’s not exercising his brain. I am having a hard time taking care of myself, let alone him and everything else. Dad can’t let his brain go! It’s getting worse and worse. He won’t read a book. He won’t do crossword puzzles. He won’t do jigsaw puzzles with me. He won’t get involved with other seniors. He says, “I hate old people.” He won’t do anything but sit there and watch the news, all day long. I could make it less stressful on myself but is that helping him? 

I won’t put Dad in a nursing home unless and when it’s necessary. I can’t help but think about when I put my Granny in a nursing home. She was there for 2 weeks and was having a good time but then she got sick and was in the hospital for about a week. When she went back to the nursing home, she was there for a few days and then she passed away. I know in my heart that she got sick because she wasn’t used to being around so many germs. Dad is rarely around anyone but me. Nursing homes are chock-full of germs. I know. I used to work in one!

There are other things I/we could do like getting someone in to help but in this old house that’s damn near falling apart? That’s all I need, is some do-gooder coming in and reporting to Senior Services that we have no business living in this house. Our new house isn’t anywhere near being completed, so where the hell would we go? Are they going to foot the bill to not only find a new house for us to live in but move us in as well? Hahaha.

Well, as Granny used to say, “It’ll all come out in the wash!” Until then, I’ll just fake it ’til I make it, as they say or just grin and bear it.