Tag Archives: inflammation

10 Years Coming….

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It’s been months (and months and months) since I’ve updated my blog! The last time was just after being fat-shamed by a so-called specialist last year that my doctor finally sent me to. At that point I was pretty much done with doctors, especially the one I had been seeing since 2005. I had tried numerous times to find a new doctor….one was just as bad or worse than the one I was seeing so I just gave up. Tired of being knocked down time and time again.

Instead I focused on losing weight. I had tried for years to lose weight, never getting any help from my doctor, naturally. I tried every diet in existence, so it seemed….except for the diets you have to pay for. I couldn’t afford to to do that. I still can’t but I had to do something. I was at the heaviest I had ever been and it wasn’t getting any better. With doctors saying things like, “eat less calories,” and “you’re not getting enough exercise,” and “eat smaller portions,” and not even asking any questions about my diet or exercise, it became blatantly clear that I was not going to get anywhere with them! So, I signed up with Nutrisystem.

I started Nutrisystem on April 24, 2016. I lost 8 lbs. the first month. I am currently teetering between a 50 – 60 lb loss. I’m quite proud of myself! Nutrisystem does work but you have to stick to it. I followed the plan exactly as they instructed and by Thanksgiving I felt that I could relax a little. After the holidays I got back to it and I will continue to stay on it until I am at a weight that I’m happy with. I digress here, this post is not about my weight loss….but it WAS the start of a new, more confident me.

After the holidays were over, I realized that as much as I despise doctors, I still need one. I realized that it must be a new doctor because my current doctor was not acceptable. Tired of her constantly sweeping my concerns under the rug and giving me stupid answers. For 6 years I heard, “You’re too young for knee replacement surgery.” She never once sent me to a specialist to make that assessment. Last March, when she finally did send me to a specialist, the specialist said, “You’re not too young for knee replacement surgery. You’re just too fat.” So, if my doctor would have sent me to him 6 years and 60 lbs ago, then maybe I would have had some kind of treatment or the surgery and regained my life by now! Thanks a lot, Doc.

So, in Jan. 2017. I started researching doctors in neighboring counties/towns. Of course, I had done this before a few times and ended up not making any progress towards finding a new doctor. This time was different. It had to be different! I made an appointment with a local doctor. I was prepared to get knocked down yet again, because that’s what always happens. This time was different. This new doctor spent an entire hour with me! She sent me for xrays and she lined up an appointment with a specialist in March. She told me that she didn’t think my current weight would be an issue with knee replacement surgery. I was so relieved to have found this woman! She was kind and sympathetic, informative and thorough. This was the first time in 10 years I had felt hopeful. 10 freakin’ years I had been trying to get help. In the very beginning it wasn’t even pain, but I knew something was wrong. Year after year, no special blood tests, no imaging, no help, no information. Now I finally had some hope!

When I saw the specialist, she was also very nice, sympathetic, informative and thorough. Instead of telling me I was too young for knee replacement surgery, she explained to me WHY age was a factor. Instead of telling me I was too fat, she explained to me WHY weight/BMI is an important factor. She even offered a referral to a weight loss specialist. Instead of telling me to do squats to strengthen my leg muscles, she sent her in-office Physical Therapist in to talk to me and he gave me specific exercises to do at home. (My insurance won’t pay for pre-surgery PT.)

This doctor, asked me many questions about what I have tried and offered injections (other than the normal cortisone shots that didn’t help me at all) and told me it was entirely my decision as to which injections I wanted to try and she gave me informational pamphlets to help me decide. In April, I went back to her with a decision. I decided on Synvisc-One injections. This injection was suppose to create cushion in my knees where I was bone on bone. I was very nervous. I’m already in tremendous pain so I was apprehensive about the pain of a needle being jabbed into my knees! It really turned out to be ok. It wasn’t that bad. Afterward, I was walking with little pain and faster than I had in years! Of course, it didn’t last long. A few short hours later it was right back to the way it was before. My knees are just too far gone.

In an effort to help with pain management, my primary doctor prescribed a medication that helps nerve pain and nerve pain caused from inflammation. It can cause depression so I have to be careful. It has helped with some of the odd pains I was having…..and therefore helping me sleep at night. Not perfect sleep, but better sleep. I’ll take it.

So, it’s June now and I am still working on my weight and building the muscles in my legs to support my knees. I can’t get the injections again for 6 months, but they won’t help anyway. I just have to keep trying different things to manage my pain.

Slowly but surely, I am moving forward. I had been stuck for 10 years trying to get help with no success. I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression and hopelessness. I am finally getting help and guidance, information and treatment!

My Ordeal – Part Two

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If you haven’t read Part One, you can find it here: https://echo11am.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-ordeal/

Last month, I realized my appointment for the second EGD/Colonoscopy was coming up! Immediately, I started to worry. My anxiety level went up. I started obsessing over what was going to happen. I was having some digestive issues for months and I started to wonder if there really was something wrong with me. Could my doctor have been right all along?

I Googled my symptoms – bad idea – and thought I might have Crohn’s or Celiac. Maybe it was Ulcerative Colitis or Diverticulitis. The information I found was telling me that many people don’t have symptoms or maybe just one. I kept going around and around with my thoughts. I was arguing with myself. I was no longer having low iron issues. I hadn’t been retested BUT I was no longer experiencing extreme fatigue or insomnia. My diet had improved since my hernia repair surgery and I had stopped taking the iron supplements. If I had blood loss inside, as my doc said was a possibility, wouldn’t I still be extremely fatigued on a daily basis, especially since I stopped the iron supplement? Then I thought of the dreaded “C” word. I prayed every night for weeks, “Please God, don’t let it be cancer. Let it be anything else, but not cancer.” All the research I did, all the talking to myself, all the worrisome thoughts I had, did me no good at all. I had myself worked up into a frenzy by the time the procedure date came!

When the hospital contacted me for registration/admit information, I was instructed not to take my pain medication. Here we go again! I told the woman I had already spoken with the doctor and he said I could take it. She argued with me. “Oh no, ma’am. You can’t take that medication. It’s an NSAID.” I told her, “I know what it is and I already talked to the doctor about it. He told me I could take it. In fact, I had just a few days prior to this called him and verified that as fact.” This went on for a good ten minutes. I told her to call him and ask him herself! She said, “We aren’t allowed to do that ma’am. You will need to contact him personally and verify.” I was getting a little – ok a LOT aggravated – and I said firmly and probably a little too loudly, “I already have!” She dropped it and we went on with the registration/admit process. Thanks for adding to my anxiety, you argumentative twit.

Procedure day came. Stressed and ready to run, we headed on to my appointment. I knew they were going to put me completely under. I had had my surgery just a few months ago and didn’t have a problem with anesthesia. I shouldn’t be worried about this! The nurses were nice and tried to make me comfortable. They assured me it was going to be fine. That’s what they said the last time and look what happened!

Another nurse came in and proceeded to tell me about the “twilight” drug. I screamed inside my head. I told her right away that I was going to be put completely under with anesthesia. She argued with me. I told her I wanted to talk to the doctor. I also told her, “If they are planning on using the “twilight” drug then I am leaving!” She told me the doctor probably won’t see me before the procedure but I can talk to the anesthesiologist. Better than nothing, I suppose. I don’t have to do this, I kept telling myself.

After they took me to the holding area, the doctor DID come in to talk with me! Boy! Was I relieved! He said he remembered my case well and he told me that I was going to be completely asleep. I told him that I needed some assurance that if I wasn’t completely asleep, if I woke up, or if I cried out then he would stop immediately! He said he would definitely stop but he didn’t think we would have any issues. I explained how traumatic it was for me the last time. He understood. Whew!

The anesthesiologist came in next, and I verified again that he was going to put me completely under. I wasn’t going to chance that they were both on the same page!! Thankfully, they were on the same page, and then they rolled me to the procedure room. I’m still screaming inside! I’m scratching from the inside out, trying to find a way out of this! I couldn’t believe I was willingly going to let them do this to me again!! 

It wasn’t long before my lights went out. Thank goodness! I’m not really sure how long it took. I lost track of all time. I woke up coughing, coughing, coughing. I didn’t think I would ever stop. It took awhile to get that ‘stuff’ out of my lungs! Oh, and the gas! The wonderfully loud flatulence you get afterward! (They have to pump air into your colon so they can see better!) I really didn’t care how loud I was. They did this to me, they can suffer the consequences!! 

They took me back to my room after I was completely awake and aware. I was relieved that this was finally OVER! I wondered how I got a bit upper lip though. Curious. It was puffy and hurt like hell. If that was the only damage, then I was ok with that! But, I hadn’t asked about the results. I was afraid to ask. Should I ask? Dad was there and I knew the doctor had talked to him afterward. I had to ask him what they found, as scared as I was to know. Just as long as it’s not cancer!! I finally got the courage to ask. Dad told me the doctor said he didn’t find anything whatsoever! Not even one single polyp! Most people my age usually have a couple polyps. Not me! No biopsy had to be done. No cancer, no colitis, no diverticulitis, no Crohn’s, no Celiac. No inflammation. No bacteria. You know that part of me that was scratching from the inside out trying to find a way out of this? I was now jumping for joy as if I was on a trampoline!! Now, where’s my clothes? I’m going home and you can’t stop me!

I slept like a happy, fed, and dry baby that night! Never woke up once. The problem was, when I woke up the next morning, every muscle in my body hurt! It hurt to laugh, to cough, to sneeze. It hurt to move! I wondered if I was really under full anesthesia and maybe I just didn’t remember anything. Did those rat bastards use a “twilight” drug on me after all? Why would I be so sore? If I was completely asleep, my body must have still known what was “up” because it seems as though my muscles tensed up in reaction to the procedure! Why else would I be this sore? I can understand my ribs and abdominal muscles being sore from the coughing. But my calves, thighs, shoulders, neck, and arm muscles too? The procedure was July 7. Today is the first day I feel normal again!

I go back to my regular doctor this week for a follow up. She will be checking my iron level. I will be telling her, “I told you it was my diet!” I will admit however, two things: One, maybe the para-esophageal hiatal hernia was preventing me from absorbing the little bit of iron in my diet, and Two, if it weren’t for the first horrifying EGD/Colonoscopy experience I would have never known about my stomach and had it repaired. I still think, and I will tell my doctor, that she should have at least asked me about my diet, and perhaps rechecked my iron after a couple of weeks…instead of scaring me half to death with worst case scenarios!!! Seems that doctors these days think they know us better than we know ourselves! Ha!

I’m thankful to be as healthy as I am. I have chronic pain from severe arthritis but I can deal with this most days. I’m thankful I don’t have cancer, or any of those other digestive diseases. Maybe I’ll live, after all.