Saying No To Holidays

Posted on November 4, 2025 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

Someone asked me yesterday how Dad and I would spend the holidays. I said, “I don’t know,” but the truth is, I don’t care to celebrate at all. Screw the holidays. There’s no one to celebrate with. I refuse to celebrate with people who belittle me, judge me, think the worst of me, or steal my energy. It’s just Dad and me against the world, as always.

I thought things would be different this year. I thought we would be in the new house by now (it now looks like January or February) and that my sister would be here to help us. My sister is not coming back. My son is 15 miles away, but apparently, he doesn’t think enough of us to even check on us, by text, DM, or otherwise. My best friend is no longer my best friend, so we won’t even be having the “friendsgiving” we had talked about having every year.

I loved the holidays when my kids were little. The little things, like gifts they made in school, or watching the excitement on their faces as they opened their own gifts, were among the best things about the holidays. It was fun! One year, I even wrapped every single framed photo in the living room with colorful wrapping paper and bows to decorate the house! Imagine the kids’ surprise when they came home from school to see this! As they got older, the fun was gone.

These days, I despise the holidays. All of them. Every holiday brings back memories and brings on waves of grief and loss. This year for Christmas, the grandkids will get a little something from Dad and me. That is IF we have the money to do even that. Every penny seems to be going toward the new house, and that’s great IF we won’t have to spend another winter in this dilapidated dump we call home.

Saturday’s Outing

Posted on November 24, 2024 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

Yesterday, Dad and I had a curbside order to pick up and we decided to head over to Vaccaro’s Pizza and Pasta afterward. They always have great food and service and we hadn’t had pizza in ages. We always get other things from the menu, like the stromboli, antipasto salad, or the shrimp basket.

While we were there, I needed to use the restroom. I’m disabled so I desperately need to use the handicap stall – you know, the bigger one with grab bars and a commode that sits a bit higher. Well, this is not the first time but when I went into the restroom, someone was in that stall. OK, so I thought I’d wait a few. I got tired of waiting and I didn’t want Dad to think I had fallen, so I went back to our table. I waited and waited, watching the restroom for that person to leave. Our pizza came, and we started eating. I still needed in the restroom after 25 minutes and it got to the point where I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to use the regular stall. Ugh. I had a hard time, to say the least. I tweaked the pinched nerve in my spine and made it worse. Fml. When I finally made it out of there and went back to our lunch, that’s when the person in the handicap stall came out. I was pissed. Do you want to know why? It was a damn employee who was in that handicap stall! Not a disabled person!! I wonder if she was on her phone while she was doing her business, for crying out loud. You know how that can eat up your time! Good grief!

We ordered 2 pizzas; one to eat there and the other to take home. I separated that pizza and put it in the freezer for later. Plus we still had half a pizza we didn’t eat so I froze that, too! Their pizza is really, really good! So, we had 2 big 16″ pizza boxes to carry out of the restaurant. Mind you, I can’t walk without crutches, which means I can’t carry the pizza. That would fall on Dad. I asked him, “Can you carry those or do you want me to get one of the girls to carry it out for us?” He said, “I can do it but you may have to carry my cane.” Well, I wouldn’t be able to do that easily so he said, “I’m going to go to the restroom and then I’m going to take my cane out to the car.” I told him to be careful because he falls so easily these days. When he came out of the restroom, he came back to our table. I asked, “I thought you were going to take your cane out to the car?” He said, “I did!” I looked down at his cane and back up at him, back down to his cane…He finally looked down and saw he still had his cane. He rolled his eyes and said, “Goddammit! I’m so stupid!” He took it out to the car, and when he came back he was beating himself up for his error. I told him he wasn’t stupid and not to worry about it. Poor old man. I feel so bad for him these days but we usually get a good laugh out of not only his errors, but mine, too. He’s not alone when it comes to doing something screwy! That’s for sure!

Anyway, we headed home to unload our curbside order, which included some Thanksgiving items. Dad and I will stay home and I’ll make us a small dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, breadmaker bread, and I found these itty-bitty 4″ pies (included in my curbside order) so I got a blueberry, chocolate, pecan, apple, pumpkin, and cherry. They’re a little small but we don’t have to be pigs! Ha!

In case I get real busy or forgetful…

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As we say in my family: Happy Turkey! (Even though Dad and I prefer ham!)

aunt-debbie

That Time of The Year, Again

Posted on November 18, 2024 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

I am not looking forward to the holidays. I haven’t enjoyed them as much as I used to since way back in 2009. Some things happened that were beyond my control but, well, let’s just say that it took a therapist to help me get through them. I have blogged about that time of my life here before so I won’t go into it again.

When I was in my early 40s I looked forward to my 50s and 60s when my family would all gather together for the holidays. I always thought I’d have my children and grandchildren all around me. I envisioned reading Christmas stories to the grandkids and watching them hang their personalized ornaments on the tree. I could see the joy of the holidays in their eyes and the excitement of opening gifts. I loved the idea of sharing great food, movies, and traditions. To me, Christmas has always been about family.

Thanksgiving is all about family, too, in my opinion. I imagined having my family all around a big, crowded table, enjoying good food and good times. We’ve had my son and his family here for those dinners and my bestie (at the time) would come and we all had a good time. My bestie decided she was no longer interested in coming for those dinners, and recently I ended that friendship (for other reasons) so there are even fewer people at my imaginary table.

I don’t look forward to the holidays anymore. My life is filled with pain, mobility issues, and the stress of caring for my Dad. My grandkids are here and there, and the nearest hardly even know me. It’s depressing when I think about it so I try not to. But the holidays force the thoughts.

It’s lonely. There’s no joy in the holidays anymore. Sure, we’ve had ham or turkey dinners and a few gifts but I haven’t put up a tree in years. The last time I did, it was a small 1 footer, but I don’t even bother with that anymore. I don’t bother putting decorations up and I don’t even care to keep up the old traditions, or even the newer ones. Why bother with any of it if the kids and grandkids won’t be around to enjoy it with us?

This year, the grandkids will get a gift or 2 from Dad and me, and my kids will get a copy of my cookbook, (that I dedicated to them in the first place). Other than that, nothing special is planned. No tree, no celebration, no traditions, no big feast, no nothing.

Dad and I will stay home and eat junk food. Just kidding. Most likely, I will make simple meals or we’ll go out and eat. It’s depressing being alone and I know Dad feels it, too. He has great-grandchildren who don’t even know him for Pete’s sake! It’s a shame because Dad loves kids and would love to have his great-grandkids around him.

I won’t complain anymore. We’ll get through it; we always do.

Holiday Depression

Posted on November 19, 2023 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

I won’t be spending much time online until after the holidays. I may pop in at times to read a blog or two, perhaps even comment. Facebook is my go-to for staying in touch with friends and family but during the holidays it’s just depressing. It’s depressing to see posts and photos of family get-togethers, grandkids having fun, and all that good stuff. Why? I’ll explain.

When I was in my 40s and my kids were nearing the age of adulthood, I always envisioned my 50s and 60s with grandkids all around me during the holidays with good food, laughter, and gift-giving. But that didn’t happen. I’m in my 60s and disabled so I can’t travel to see the grandkids, contrary to what some may think. They don’t travel to see us, so I feel even less important and lonely. I have 4 grandchildren within 20 miles and rarely see them. One I haven’t seen in years. One I saw last year and didn’t even recognize her because it had been that long since I saw her last. I see the other 2 (brothers, one is a baby) mostly during the holidays for a few hours. The baby I have seen only once. I will see them this coming week if everything goes as planned.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m taking things too personally but I feel like everyone else gets to enjoy my grandkids while I sit on the sidelines. And poor Dad. He doesn’t even have a relationship with any of his great-grandkids! I see photos of them on Facebook and I love seeing those photos but damn, it’s so depressing! So that’s why I’m going to stay off Facebook until after the holidays. I hate the holidays. I truly, truly hate the holidays.

I’ve not been doing well physically for the past few weeks. I did some major chores and really messed something up. I have pinched nerves as a result. I can’t sit still any longer than I can walk or stand. My rotator cuff injury has been bothering me off and on as well. I’m a hot mess.

Dad is doing ok, aside from falling twice in less than a week. He didn’t hurt himself except for a bruise on his arm. I’m really worried about him and that’s leading to a lot more stress and sleepless nights.

The 3 furbabies are doing well and believe it or not, Jack and BobCat are actually getting along quite well these days! I think they may have had a scuffle or a powwow one day while we were gone because there are times that Jack cowers down to BobCat. Maybe they have come to an agreement of some kind?! Or maybe Alice told them to knock off the horseshit.

I’m making a ham in the instant pot on Thanksgiving, and I’ll whip up some mashed potatoes (the day before) and gravy. I bought pre-made frozen pies because my oven is dead and well, I can’t stand in the kitchen for long. My son and daughter-in-law are bringing the sweet potatoes, rolls, and green bean casserole, (and the 2 grandkids!). My bestie is bringing appetizers. I hope my pain level will allow me to enjoy the day or at least a few hours.

I won’t be blogging until after the holidays so I will wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year all at once! Thank you for following my blog!

Peace, Love, and Rock n Roll,

BAD

Oh Little Christmas Tree, Will Jack Pee on Thee?

Posted on December 2, 2018 by Deb / Being Aunt Debbie

The last time I wrote in my blog, I was wrapped up in a blanket of depression. Thanksgiving was calm, just Dad and I, but I was depressed that my kids and grandkids weren’t with us just like every holiday for the last 8 years. We were able to have lunch out the Saturday following Thanksgiving with my son, his wife, and my newest grandbaby, though. That helped my mood and I have tried very hard ever since to have a little more holiday cheer.

I really despise Christmas. I was never crazy about the concept but always made memories with my kids when they were growing up. Following old family traditions and creating a few of my own, we always had a good time. I’m not a religious person, nor will I ever be, but my kids were taught that the reason we celebrate Christmas is Jesus. Funny though, December 25th isn’t even the correct birthdate, but I digress.

Christmas has become so commercialized that it just sucks the life out of me. People have become so greedy and they’ve raised their kids to be greedy little monsters, too. Not all, but I’m sure you know the ones. This year I have done all of my shopping online. Why go out and deal with the greed, crowds, and noise? I’m keeping everything small and simple this year. Just a few gifts, some homemade, some store bought will be placed around a 2 ft. tree (ordered online) on my kitchen table draped with a purple tablecloth. The tree will have a few purple lights to make it more festive but the large white tree and all of my ornaments and decor will stay in storage. I just don’t have the energy for that much hoopla. Especially since the house won’t be full of kids and grandkids, maybe just my son and his little family, or maybe…just cats….which leaves me with the thought, will Jack pee on my little tree? He’s the only cat that goes outside and he’s been neutered, but I have seen him mark his territory outside on trees, my car, the side of the house, etc. I’ll let you know how my little tree fares. As for Christmas eats… I will try my damnedest to do my traditional Christmas Eve pizza, pizza balls, and popcorn cake, all homemade. Christmas Day dinner will include ham and not sure what else yet, but lots of goodies for snacking. (Isn’t that the best part anyway?) Keep your fingers crossed that my pain level stays…well, level with no spikes for at least that week of Christmas.

I’m taking a break (for the most part) from social media and blogging. I want to change the look of my blog, so I hope to do a little work on it during the next few weeks. I will leave you now with a few Christmas funnies (since I’ve missed the last 2 weeks of Friday’s Funnies) and who knows, I may just have another installment of these before Christmas! Enjoy!

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