The Fourth

An amazing thing has happened! My son and his wife have had their first child! We are so blessed and so very happy to have this little guy in our lives. I cannot even wait until he’s bigger!

Something occurred to me today, as we were sitting with this precious little fellow. Not only is he my 4th grandchild, but he is Dad’s 4th great-grandchild! Imagine that! We are elated!

I wonder what toys he will like, or what his favorite animal might be. I wonder what things he will find hilarious or what things might frighten him. His hair is brown now, and his eyes dark blue but I wonder if they will change. I wonder if he will be short or tall, thin or not-so-thin. I wonder if he will love books and which ones will be his favorites. I wonder what his favorite foods will be and if he’ll try zucchini or mushrooms.

I wonder if he will love us….because I know already we sure do love him!

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What We Love/Hate On Social Media

Social Media has become an intricate part of our lives. Prior to 2006, it was barely thought of! We spend much of our time on social media and it’s become the best way for us to communicate with one another and to stay in touch with family and friends. The younger generation can’t even imagine life without social media!

We are hooked on Facebook and Twitter, and the like, because of the things we LOVE, obviously. I’ve presented the question, “What do you LOVE/HATE to see on social media?” to friends, family, acquaintances, and followers on my Being Aunt Debbie Facebook page and received quite a few responses!

Here’s a rundown of the things we love to see on social media:

  1. Animals – Who can resist a cute or funny animal? Pets are definitely irresistible! We have all had a pet (or pets) at some time in our lives. Our pets are our buddies, our little furry family members, and they are quite entertaining. It’s always fun to see other people’s pets being silly, or oddly captioned photos to make us laugh. It’s quite lovely to see photos of rare and exotic animals…and those not so exotic, too.
  2. Photos of family and friends – We love keeping in touch with family and friends on social media! We can see our loved ones on vacation, our grandkids’ at their birthday parties, our kids with their spouses, our long lost cousins whom we’ve not seen since we were teens, our brothers and sisters who moved too far away to see often, and we learn of new additions to our families! We see these photos without having to wait for the mailman to bring them! It’s the best way to keep in touch and check in with our loved ones and close friends.
  3. Funny stuff – Funny photos, memes, stories, puns, jokes, comics, cartoons…. We love to be entertained and the best way is through laughter! I think most people will catch themselves laughing aloud, even when all alone! I know I do!
  4. Babies – Who doesn’t love a laughing baby? Or a baby learning something for the first time? Babies turn adults into giant goof-balls! Babies can make us laugh and can offer up more love than can be imagined! There’s just not much better than a baby!
  5. Acts of Kindness – We love to see stories of acts of kindness because this world is so full of hatred and anger. We love to see one human being doing something nice for another human being with no strings attached. It doesn’t happen often as it should, but we love those feel-good stories that make us realize there are still good people in this world.
  6. Special Needs/Overcoming Obstacles/Empowerment – We love to see stories about special needs kids and adults overcoming the greatest of hurdles in life. It makes us feel that we aren’t a lost cause. “If they can do it, so can I.” It helps us face the shit in our own lives with a bit more hope and fervor. We love stories of triumph and courage. We love to see others just like us accomplishing the impossible. We love to see stories of underprivileged people finding opportunities to make changes in their lives. There’s so much suffering and hardship in this world and when people find strength and courage to improve their lives or the lives of others, well, that just makes us all a little more hopeful and maybe even a little stronger.
  7. Inspirational Quotes – We love to be inspired to write, to be kind, to be more creative, to study harder, to be more understanding, to be less judgemental, to declutter our homes and our lives. Inspiration comes from many places and sometimes it’s just a little quote that gets us moving in the right direction.
  8. Spirituality – We may or may not be religious but most of us are spiritual in some way. Spirituality gives us a purpose, a direction in life. We are constantly looking for truth and oneness with self. We love to learn of different spiritual paths and practices. We love the search for enlightenment and the mysteries of life and nature.
  9. Interesting and Educational – It’s just human nature to want to learn. Today, with internet access we have a “library at our fingertips.” We can learn just about anything by doing a simple search. Social media gives us an opportunity to learn about many things from some very informed people about hundreds upon hundreds of interesting subjects.

 

Now the fun part! Things we HATE seeing on social media:

  1. Political Tirades – Seriously. Most of us don’t care what others’ political views are! Everyone has an opinion. We don’t want to know yours unless we ask. Besides, no one can debate a topic these days without name calling and LOGIC.
  2. Religious Beliefs – Religion is a personal choice. People have their own beliefs. Most of us don’t like having someone else’s beliefs (or judgments) crammed down our throats. We will ask you about your religion if we are interested.
  3. Rhetoric, Lies, and Conspiracy Theories – We hate it all. Do some research and stop spreading BS. Just because something seems “odd” or perhaps there’s not been any info officially released about something doesn’t mean it’s a conspiracy. Shit just happens sometimes. And sometimes, the public isn’t privy to all information.
  4. Hate/Intolerance – We hate intolerance, of any kind. Anyone who hates ANYONE for being different is just an asshole. Plain and simple. Skin color doesn’t matter. Religious beliefs don’t matter. Sexual orientation doesn’t matter. Intolerance is wrong!
  5. Internet Trolls – We hate those buggers. You know what I’m talking about because you’ve either been disrespected by one or you ARE one. We hate trolls because they stir up trouble. They provoke us into arguments. They don’t seem to have anything better to do. My advice: DO NOT ENGAGE!
  6. Narcissistic Selfies – We hate the duck-faces and shirtless men showing off their physique dozens of times a day with photos of every stinkin’ thing they do, all day long. Anyone have a barf bag?
  7. Bullying – No one likes a bully and most of us with any common decency will smack down a bully any chance we get….sometimes “smack down” literally. We will stand up to a bully and protect those being bullied. We sure don’t like seeing it on social media.
  8. Shame/Blame – We don’t like seeing other people blamed or shamed. If someone dresses differently, if they’re overweight, or just don’t act the way others think they should, they don’t deserve to be shamed. We don’t like the “The Blame Game” either. If you’ve got a problem, do something to fix it and stop blaming others.
  9. Animal/Child/Spousal Abuse  We hate the acts of violence on children, animals, and women. We don’t want to see graphic photos of a beaten child or a beaten animal. It just hurts too much. That doesn’t mean we don’t care but seeing a photo isn’t going to change anything. Most of do what we can to support these causes, but we don’t need to see photos to get us to help.
  10. “Repost if” /“Type Amen if you agree” /“I know which of my friends will read to the end and repost” types of posts – We hate those types of posts because they are worthless. If you feel strongly about something, reposting it on social media is NOT going to change anything. If you want to make changes then actually do something.

 

So, that’s the rundown of what I’ve discussed with others. Is there anything you really LOVE or HATE to see on social media? I’d love to hear about it!

A Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love knows no boundaries. She forgives and is patient. She protects and supports her children. Mother will love unconditionally all of her children, and that love will last a lifetime. That love is pure and unselfish. Mother’s touch is gentle but her love is fierce!

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I know my own mother loved me and my sisters but she had problems. She would never admit it and if she had been confronted with those problems she would have yelled, “There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s everyone else who has the problem.” No lie.

I know she did the best she knew how considering her own mother was a single mother who worked in a bar and on her ‘off’ time she sat on one of those very same bar stools commiserating with my Dad’s mother. Small world, ‘eh? My mother and her brother were left to fend for themselves and got into all kinds of trouble since they had no adult supervision.

Anyway, I have always tried to be a better mom to my children than my own mother was to me and my sisters. It hasn’t always been easy and any parent knows how difficult parenting can be! I’m sure as hell not perfect, nor would I ever claim to be, but I did the best I could. Frankly, I think I did a pretty damn good job!

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I don’t get to see or even speak to my children every day. I don’t even know if they have ever read my blog. I just hope that S.R. and C.F. know, I mean truly know, how much I love them! No matter what mistakes they have made or will make in the future, no matter the disappointments, and no matter the differences of opinions, they will always hold the biggest piece of my heart.

Forever and always.

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A Ray, A Sparkle & Perfectness

Amidst all of the political BS and devastation due to hurricanes and fires, I have to set my mind to a more positive channel. I HAVE to. The awful things that happen to people consume me. The political shit storm of opinions and uninformed comments consume me. By consume I mean that I am overwhelmed with a multitude of feelings such as a profound sadness and helplessness for people who are experiencing such losses and an intense desire to put my fist through the face of an idiot who hasn’t taken the time to research anything before forming an opinion. 

Sometimes I am so overloaded with sadness, rage, empathy, concern, sorrow….that I need to unplug from the world. I have decreased the amount of time I’m spending on social media and doing other things like reading, writing, doing word puzzles to keep my brain sharp, making a holiday shopping list, crafting, crocheting, doing a few extra chores, and making lists of things I need to do, recipes I want to try, ingredients I need to buy, and the like. I wish I could do more, but chronic pain and mobility issues play a big part in deciding what I do each day. 

I think I watch less television, but when the other person in the household has to watch all day long (and sometimes the same exact news repeated numerous times throughout the day) it’s rather hard to get away from. I do retreat to my room for large chunks of the day to unwind, nap or just write.

There have been a few things this week that have made me smile and forget about the YUCK of life. There’s one particular thing that stands out from this past week.

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My grand daughter called me the other day. It was nice to hear her little 8-year-old voice. I have missed her a LOT! It’s been 2 months since her last visit. We have made some plans for a visit week after next, but nothing is set in stone as yet. I look forward to seeing her. She makes me laugh and I love her hugs! She’s got to be the most considerate and helpful child on the planet; another reason she’s so easy to love! Her overnight stays are the best! We have a little bedtime rhyme we have shared since she was just a little bitty thing and it goes like this:

“I love you little,

I love you big,

I love you like a little pig.”

We always get a little chuckle out of it and I cherish these special moments. Another special moment I get to witness is when she and her (Great) Grampa are watching SpongeBob SquarePants together. All I can do is grin from ear to ear when they’re laughing their heads off! Too bad the other 2 grandkids don’t get to enjoy these special times with him too. 

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So, there’s a little bright sparkle of goodness, a ray of sunshine, a pocketful of perfectness that is my little Doodle Bug coming for a visit soon!!  Boy, do I need that visit!

One Step Forward…..

So, the Supreme Court ruled today that Gay Marriage is now legal in all states! That one step forward doesn’t feel like a step forward at all, when you listen to all the negativity surrounding the entire issue. It’s unbelievable to me that people are so close-minded that they cannot see beyond the idea that “it says in the Bible….”

Biblical times are not THESE times. Times change. I’m not writing this to discuss the Bible or Christian beliefs. However, I WILL say that GOD loves everyone! If GOD has a problem with gay people then let GOD take care of it. Wouldn’t God want you to treat EVERYONE with kindness and fairness? Respect? I say yes, YES He would.

Gay people do not have a choice over their sexuality. It’s not like they decide to be gay for “the fun of it” – not my words but someone else’s stupidity coming forth on the good ol’ internet. Gay people have the right to love and be loved just as straight people do. They do not deserve to be judged by YOU for who they are or who they choose to be with. You can’t help who you fall in love with. That’s just how that crazy critter called love is….

I’m appalled by a comment I read earlier today. A woman asked, “Why do they [gay people] want to get married anyway? They’re going to be together if they want to be together, whether they are married or not.” This is true. But isn’t it also true that STRAIGHT people are going to be together if they want to be together, whether they are married or not? So, why do straight people get married? They marry because…..

*They love one another and they want to spend their lives together.

*To show their commitment to one another in front of their friends, family, and God. Wedding vows (promises) are made and taken more seriously if in a traditional, legal ceremony.

*To legalize their commitment because society recognizes this contract between two people.

*To ensure that their medical and legal rights are protected, normally reserved for blood relatives and guardians, but when married, the spouse is granted the right to make medical decisions.

*To have children; start a family. Marriage is binding, therefore both parties agree to raise the children, and that the children be taken care of in the future. Marriage provides a legal and strong foundation.

*When you marry, you agree to be faithful, supportive, loving and kind….through thick and thin, sickness and health….until one of you has passed away.

I suppose there are many other reasons straight people get married…..but don’t gay people get married for the same reasons? Of course they do! They aren’t really any different than any of the rest of us!

I’m sure someone will argue,  “Gay people can’t make babies.” I beg to differ. Many gay couples use a surrogate. If that isn’t an option for them, they adopt. There are many children in this country who need a loving home. Isn’t that all any child wants? Parents who love and adore them, protect them, teach them….. Right? Why wouldn’t God approve of a loving couple taking in a child that is not biologically theirs and raising that child as their own?

Oh, how this world makes my head and heart hurt. 

I know so many of you will disagree with everything I have said here. You have every right to disagree and voice your opinion. I always try to be respectful when speaking my mind…..a concept that so many do not understand! It is my hope that if you speak your mind, you will be respectful, even if you believe differently. It’s only right.