Crochetin’ Away

All week I have been bothered by the fact that not one post (not even mine) has a Like button. I didn’t have time to mess with it (or read any of your blogs) so I just let it go until tonight. It was hard for me to just let it go, trust me! I despise when things are not as they should be or when things do not work as they should.

I did some research for a remedy to that dilemma and found this in the WordPress support section: The Like button and any Likes will no longer appear on your new posts or pages (although the Like button will still appear in readers’ toolbars and in the WordPress.com Reader). There was no explanation. I find it very annoying that they eliminated this function from posts.

As I mentioned, I haven’t had much time the last few months. My 4th grandbaby was born on the 1st and I’ve had several crochet projects going just for him. I don’t mind at all because I love making baby items and the crochet keeps the arthritis in my fingers at bay. My daughter-in-law’s siblings are both having babies, baby girls, and very close together I might add, so I’m making a new set of crocheted items for them, too! Here are a few of the things I made for my grandson!

When I finish the baby crochet projects I need to get moving on holiday gifts. I have no clue where to start! There are so many things I want to make! Click here to go to my Pinterest page (link opens a new window) and check out my Crochet Inspiration board! I have over 2,500 pins on that board alone! Ha!

I’m hoping to have more time next week for writing. My mind has been totally consumed by yarn and hooks and patterns….. It’s a shock I’m not crocheting in my sleep!

The Fourth

An amazing thing has happened! My son and his wife have had their first child! We are so blessed and so very happy to have this little guy in our lives. I cannot even wait until he’s bigger!

Something occurred to me today, as we were sitting with this precious little fellow. Not only is he my 4th grandchild, but he is Dad’s 4th great-grandchild! Imagine that! We are elated!

I wonder what toys he will like, or what his favorite animal might be. I wonder what things he will find hilarious or what things might frighten him. His hair is brown now, and his eyes dark blue but I wonder if they will change. I wonder if he will be short or tall, thin or not-so-thin. I wonder if he will love books and which ones will be his favorites. I wonder what his favorite foods will be and if he’ll try zucchini or mushrooms.

I wonder if he will love us….because I know already we sure do love him!

Blog pics

Good Laughs & A Tough Decision

 

I have 2 kitties with allergies. This I discovered after two $100+ vet bills where antibiotics did not do the trick. Ugh. Figures, right? I found a homeopathic medication for felines with allergies and it cleared Alice up after just a few days. Jack, started getting the “snotsies” as we have come to call it, and so I started giving it to him as well. He’s still snottin’ a little but he’s much better than he was. The others have not had any problems, thankfully.

On the subject of kitties, I have come to the painful decision of having my 15-year-old nearly blind cat euthanized. I don’t want to do this but she has started showing signs of Kidney disease and after having watched 2 other furbabies suffer from the same thing, I have decided not to prolong it. She must be miserable; as I’m sure my other 2 were. She has been having troubles with her bladder for quite some time and quite frankly, I can’t go on forever putting puppy pads around the litter boxes and in various “favorite spots” all over the house. Poor Smokie has had a rough life. I’m not too sure when I’ll make the call, but probably in July sometime.

On a brighter note, my two 9-year-old grandkids had lunch with us on Thursday. They haven’t seen each other for a very long time! Heck, I haven’t seen them in around 6 months! We had a great lunch and it was fun catching up! We wanted DM to have lunch with us again today, but he had other plans and couldn’t make it. Maybe next time! DM has a cell phone now so we traded numbers and we have connected in a new way! I am sending him puns and jokes and he has tried to trip me up with riddles! The granddaughter stayed until today after lunch and a little shopping.

Granddaughter is quite the prankster, as I mentioned in the latest Friday’s Funnies. She really pulled a good one on her (gr)Grampa, which was supposed to be on both of us but I was too slow getting in there. Dad really thought that lizard was real! That lizard made his way to the kitchen, with the prankster’s help but I saw it and knew it was her toy again. We did get a really big laugh when poor Jack was sitting there minding his own business and I moved that lizard up behind him. When Jack turned and saw it he jumped 5 feet backward and at least a foot off the ground! The prankster and I laughed our butts off! Poor Jack! I’m sure he called us a few dirty names.

The prankster has been very helpful. I wish she could come live with us. She made many of my chores much easier by helping. I despise being disabled and not being able to do things like I used to. She’s so helpful and looks after us quite nicely. In fact, after I paid the bill at the restaurant with my debit card, the prankster made sure I had my receipt and my card back in my wallet before we left. Yep. Growing up.

Why, oh why must they grow up so quickly? I thought I was “getting old” when my own kids were growing up. Now the grandkids are making me ancient. Lol.

An Elaboration

Recently, I re-shared an older post from 2008, called “Loser Boyfriend Syndrome.” It occurred to me, that so many awful things happened to turned our lives upside down that I never told the entire story. It was such a difficult time in all of our lives I couldn’t eat, sleep, or write. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was a mess.

It has taken a lot of courage for me to write about this; not because I’m ashamed or worried that people will know, but because it’s very painful to relive it in my mind in order to put it in ‘writing’. It’s a story that takes place over a 4 year period, and there are many (painful) details I’m leaving out. This is the short version of the story.

Loser Boyfriend, who I have referred to in this blog as “J” will now be referred to as ASSFACE because that’s what he is.

When my daughter, S.R., decided to move out I was thrilled for her. I was still concerned because Assface was still going to be in her life. At that moment though, he was in jail. When he got out of jail, my daughter let him move in with her and my grandbaby. I knew this was going to end badly. I just knew it. It wasn’t long before this piece of shit man got my daughter to “try” meth. I know that she had some say in this matter, but she would have never “tried” it if she hadn’t been with him. She was on the right track until she hooked up with the likes of him.

It wasn’t long until we found out he was cooking meth in the little house she had rented, a house that was supposed to be home for her and her baby boy. He ended up in jail again, she ended up in a rehab place and she could have lost her son. After her stint in rehab (where she was allowed to keep her son with her), she came back home to live with us. She then had to go through drug court and counseling, etc. I thought, as did everyone else, that this would have set her ass straight but it did not. When Assface got out of jail and S.R. finished with her obligations, they moved to another town, about an hour or so away. She was determined to stay with him.

At one point, after a few months, my daughter sent me a few distressing messages. Something about coming to get her….and hurry….and how far are you… I was worried, rightly so. I called the cops as I was driving and asked if they could do a well-being check. They did. Assface was NOT happy about that at all. S.R. and my grandson came home with me because apparently, they had had an argument. After a couple days, Assface came to pick them up and I was told in no uncertain terms that I wouldn’t be hearing from them ever again. I was mortified! And it was 5 months before I heard anything at all.

S.R. changed her phone number, unfriended me on Facebook, and I missed my grandson’s birthday. I sent birthday gifts and never knew if he even got them. I was in a state of panic, as I had no clue if they were dead or alive. No phone calls, no visits, no letters, cards, etc. After 5 months, I got a call from Assface’s step-mom, who told me that he had been arrested.

THANK GOD. But what about S.R.? What about my grandson?

My grandson had been picked up by Social Services and placed in Assface’s father and step-mother’s home. They got temporary custody because they knew people on the inside. I was just happy that he was safe with people that loved him and would take care of him. My daughter was about to spend 2 weeks in jail.

After S.R.’s stint in jail, she STILL didn’t want to let go of Assface! The judge decided that either she would have to give her child up to Assface’s parents to raise or lose any rights to future children. She eventually signed papers, allowing the other grandparents to adopt my grandson. I was happy he was going to be safe but sad at the same time. He’s my grandson, my firstborn grandson.

S.R. moved a couple hours away and went through the drug court, counseling thing again. She lived in a house with others in similar circumstances. She got a good job and started to rebuild her life. This would be the 2nd time she had to start over because of bad choices and….Assface.

So, S.R. was on the right track again, finally. But guess what she did? She got hooked up with another loser boyfriend, who I actually liked and welcomed into our home and our lives. I thought he was a good guy. That’s when my 2nd grandson came into this world. This time, when things went sour….and I mean could have had a disastrous outcome….my daughter had the good sense to leave their home and wait for the cops to come. That was the end of that. She put her child’s safety first. I had never been so proud of her. She ended up starting over yet again….

Now, she’s a single mom, working her butt off and she realizes that she doesn’t need a man to screw things up for her again. I hope someday she meets someone who is as special as she is. She’s my baby girl, my firstborn child.

Not too many people know this bit of history and those who do, unfortunately, know all the horrible details. This was a terrible period in my life. I was down for the count…until I started seeing my therapist. It was my therapist who helped me to realize that none of what happened was my fault. Of course, my head knew it wasn’t my fault…. It was my heart that was feeling the guilt and the shame. It was just broken.

My heart has been healing for the last 6 years now….

Oh, and by the way, Assface is in jail again. Hope they keep his sorry ass this time!

 

 

Bittersweet

My daughter, S.R. and my grandson, D.M. have moved out. I wish them the best naturally but I will worry about them, no matter what….and I most definitely will miss them, A LOT!

It’s been strange here without them. I wake up in the morning to absolute quiet, a clean kitchen and no toys on the floor to stumble over. When I brush my teeth I can’t believe the space on my counter. One roll of toilet paper has lasted us 2 days instead of just one. My living room is again, a living room, instead of a play room. Things that I had to put out of D.M.’s reach are now easy to get to. No more searching for my remote controls! There are no more temper tantrums right in the middle of my tv shows! No more loud foot steps of a two year old’s running feet when I’m trying to take a nap. Dinner time is odd without them both sitting at the opposite side of the table. The laundry room isn’t constantly in use. I no longer have little feet on my heels as I go outside. It’s rather sad….

I’m enjoying the calmness; something my house hasn’t seen in a long time, but I miss my grandson something terrible. I miss his great big squishy hugs and the kisses he gives me and then wipes off. I miss his sign language (one of his own creation) and the facial expressions that follow. I miss tickling under his chin, and hearing that uncontrollable giggle. I don’t know why he’s so ticklish there! I will miss the completion of his potty training and his words for pee and poop – ‘ewee’ and ‘woop’. I will definitely miss watching him play when he doesn’t know he’s being watched. He’s quite amusing! I love him so much!

Of course, I’ll miss S.R. too. She’s my baby girl after all. My Friday the 13th baby, who to this day is still called ‘Jason’ by her grampa. She has made some bad choices and learned from them. She will continue to learn from her experiences and choices. She’s my oldest child, my only daughter. She is the most loyal person you could ever meet. She has a good heart and kind soul. I watched her grow into a beautiful young woman and I’m proud to say she’s my daughter.


I love you baby girl!