Talking To Aliens

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Have you ever had to call or email customer service and felt like you were talking to aliens from another planet? This happens to me all the time! I used to think it was just me. Me, being the problem; that perhaps I wasn’t expressing myself properly or maybe I was leaving out words or important details. Nope. It is NOT me.

Many years ago, we had one of those humungous satellite dishes and hadn’t had a problem with it for years. Then one year, we lost our signal. I called customer service. They directed me to call the installation department, and so I did. After briefly explaining the issue and what I had done to troubleshoot the problem, they transferred my call back to customer service. I hadn’t had the chance to tell them that customer service directed me to them. I explain again to customer service because I was speaking to someone different. They said I needed to call the technical department. They gave me the number and I called. I explained the issues again and this foreign-accented man asked me if the television was on. I’m like, “Um, yes. How else would I know if I was or was not getting a signal?” He guided me through the troubleshooting process even though I explained I had already done that. I followed him through the steps, and then in all of his wisdom he declares, “You need a tech-nee-shan!!” I said, “OMG. Are you serious? That’s why I’m talking to you!” I was so disgusted from spending the last hour on the phone and getting nowhere that I just hung up. Not too long after that, we replaced our humungous satellite dish with a smaller one from Dish.

Another example: I had a credit with a company because they had discontinued something that I had ordered and paid for. I couldn’t find any information on the website or in my account regarding using that credit, so I emailed customer service. I explained that I had a credit coming to me and I asked, “How do I apply that credit to my next order?” I was flabbergasted when the answer I received was how to login to my account. I emailed again stating that logging into my account was not the issue and explained again. This time, I got some other stupid answer that had nothing to do with my issue! After several tries, I sent them a rude and to the point email about how the company needed to hire competent people. It wasn’t long before I received an email from a manager, who apologized and that he didn’t know what the problem was with the two reps but that he knew what I was asking and understood my frustration. He solved my problem and all was well in the world.

Just this week, I was trying to find a certain product that I had purchased many times before on a website because I have a friend interested in said product. This time, I couldn’t find it. Using the search option, the product appeared but when I clicked the link I was taken to an “ERROR 404” page. I emailed the company. I was instructed to call them to place the order. Well, I don’t want to call them because the company is located in the UK, plus I’m not ready to order at the moment. I responded and explained, then asked if they had the item in stock or if they were going to get them back in stock any time soon because I had a friend who was interested in purchasing right now. I also explained again about the “ERROR 404” page. The response back was simply, to use the search option to locate the product. OMG. I was ready to scream. I responded back and got the exact same response but from a different representative. Finally, I blew a gasket. I responded back with, “Will you please direct this email and the entire conversation to someone who reads and comprehends English?!” I also added, “The keyword search from your website sends me to an ERROR 404 page!!! Do you have the product or not? Will you be getting them or NOT? Why is it so hard to get a straight answer????”

It’s like talking to aliens from another planet, I swear. I do not play well with STUPID. It frustrates the hell out of me, and it happens all the damn time! I have even read aloud to other people what I have written and everyone, including my therapist, agrees that I express exactly what the problem is and/or what I need. So, why do people not understand? Does everyone have the wrong freakin’ job or what?

What are some of your experiences? I surely can’t be alone….and don’t call me Shirley.

The Ex-Files – Green Potatoes

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Back in the day, CP and I lived in a small, upstairs apartment. I loved that apartment but it would have been better if I had lived alone. You live and you learn, right? Anyway, we were poor and didn’t have a lot of food in the house. We did have potatoes, eggs, flour, and cheese. I decided to make fried potatoes, cheese omelets, and pancakes. I had to make a LOT of food because CP was such a pig.

CP asked if he could do something to help. I thought about it a minute and asked him if he wanted to peel some potatoes for me. He said he would but he never came into the kitchen so I brought him a bowl with 6 large potatoes and a paring knife. We were so poor I didn’t even own a potato peeler! CP sat in his chair and worked on the potatoes while I made the pancakes.

He yelled into the kitchen, “We can’t eat these potatoes!” I ran into the living room and asked, “Why not?” He said, “They’re green.” I told him once you peel them they aren’t green. He pitched a fit explaining that they were still green and therefore poisonous! I told him if they were poisonous he’d be dead already because I always use potatoes that might have a little green on the skin. He was in shock! This was back before the internet so I really had no way of reassuring him that they were safe to eat. They weren’t green all the way through, after all.

I had made a double batch of pancake batter (again, pig in the house) from scratch. I made at least 2 dozen pancakes, if not more! So, I asked CP, “Are you done with the potatoes?” He said, “No.” I was thinking surely he must be almost done because it doesn’t take that long to peel potatoes. I walked into the living room and he had 2 fucking potatoes peeled! I couldn’t believe it! I watched him. He was very carefully cutting the brown peel off the potatoes as to not get any of the potato itself. Unbelievable. When I cut potatoes (remember, we were using a paring knife) I cut the peel off and probably a little potato with it but it was done in just a few minutes with very little waste. I had made a double batch of pancakes and he was only on his 3rd potato! I think he was taking his damned sweet time for spite.

I couldn’t start the omelets until the fried potatoes were nearly done but it must have been an hour (if not longer) before I could start them. I waited and waited and waited.

Finally, he had finished. He informed me that he’d better not get sick. I rinsed the starch and dirt off the potatoes and showed him, “You won’t get sick. Look. They’re white inside. The skin was just a little green.” I even cut one of the potatoes in half, and then in half again and showed him, “White,” I said.

I finally got our omelets and potatoes done and CP barely ate any potatoes. I said, “Good. More for me!” as I shoveled a few more pieces into my plate.

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FYI: Green potatoes can be toxic. However, most of the toxin (solanine) accumulates in the skins and the eyes, so once the potato is peeled and eyes plucked out, you’re good to go. If they are green all the way through, you should throw them out!

Good Monday Morning

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white cup filled by coffee

Photo by Jonas Mohamadi on Pexels.com

I wish I could say this day will be better than the last, or this week better than last week. I can only hope but time will tell. My pain level has been exceedingly high. There have been sleepless nights and the days are long and tedious. If it weren’t for my afternoon nap I’d probably look like one of The Walking Dead.

I’m behind on reading your blogs. I love reading about your lives, your passions, your pets, and I love the photos and poetry that come across my screen. I’ve made some good friends here in the blogosphere, and I’ve had to let some old friends go. Things change and we move on. It’s life.

I’m behind on my blog writing but I’m working on my stories and slowly writing my recipes for my cookbook. I have a lot of time on my hands although it seems I don’t have enough. I’m trying to push through this rough patch of mine, hoping this week will be better. I keep telling myself that it’s ok to just chill and take care of me, but it always seems that I’m neglecting my chores, my responsibilities and the people in my life. Then I think, if I don’t take care of me, who will?

self care isn t selfish signage

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

So, I will do what I need to do to take care of me and to stay sane. I hope you all have a wonderful day and week!

Aunt Debbie

Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week

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Happy Friday, everyone! I can’t believe how quickly the weeks pass. We had some 50-degree weather this week, with sunshine, spiders and wasps! I hate the warmer weather specifically for those nasty 8-legged, creepy, scary things! Last night the temperature dropped to around 16 degrees and that made me happy because the spiders went back into their crevices…for the time being anyway. My pain level has been a bit on the extreme side today, from the cold I’m sure. I hope you are all doing great!

This week’s group of funnies is a bit short, I’m afraid. I didn’t see as many things online that tickled me. But that’s ok. I hope you enjoy these anyway!

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If girls were boys for a day.. - Imgur

 

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Well, what did you think? I hope something tickled your funny bone! I like “butthole” and “dingleberry” the best! Snort!!

Just a quick thanks to all of you who read my blog and leave comments. I appreciate all of you! Thank you ever so much! I hope your weekend is good to you!

Aunt Debbie

Dad, Stop Pushing The Button!

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The other night I was trying to watch “Prodigal Son” and because Dad constantly yawns loudly, coughs, gets the sneezies, or just talks through anything I want to watch, I turned on the soundbar so I could actually hear my show. He hates the soundbar because he says the sounds are all around and it’s weird. I told him that’s what ‘surround sound’ is and that’s what a soundbar does. It gives us the ‘theater’ experience. He scoffs at that, of course.

During one of the commercial breaks, I wanted Dad to hear some audio on my phone. He couldn’t hear it even though it was turned up. He grabbed the remote to mute the sound on the tv. I realized what he had done and why, so I grabbed the remote for the soundbar to mute that as well. As soon as I muted the sound bar, Dad pushed the button on his remote. The tv sound was back on. This went on, back and forth several times before I said, “Dad! Stop pushing the button!” He says, “I’m trying to mute the sound.” “I know. Mute it and then stop pushing the button. I’ll mute the soundbar.”

He keeps pushing the damn button on the remote. “Dad! Stop pushing the button!” He’s not understanding. He says, “I’m pushing the mute button but I can still hear it.” I say, “That’s because the soundbar is on!”

He’s still pushing the damn remote button. My show comes back on and I’ve given up on the audio I wanted him to hear.

“Turn the sound back on, Dad. My show is back on.” He looks at me with an extremely confused look on his face. The soundbar is on but the tv sound is still muted. I said, “Dad, unmute the sound on the tv. The soundbar is on but not the tv.” He just looks at the tv and the remote in his hand like he’s never seen it before. I get it. He’s 83 years old but it’s getting worse and worse by the day. I picked up my tv remote (we both have one) and I unmuted the tv.

Why didn’t I just use my tv remote instead of telling him to stop pushing the buttons? Because he would have still been pushing the buttons!

After my show was over, I turned off the soundbar. He asked, “Why did you turn the sound down?” I replied, “I didn’t, Dad. I turned off the soundbar.”

It’s no wonder I’m getting so many grays! It’s no wonder I haven’t pulled it all out! Gotta love him!