Tag Archives: holidays

Saying No To Holidays

Posted on by
4

Someone asked me yesterday how Dad and I would spend the holidays. I said, “I don’t know,” but the truth is, I don’t care to celebrate at all. Screw the holidays. There’s no one to celebrate with. I refuse to celebrate with people who belittle me, judge me, think the worst of me, or steal my energy. It’s just Dad and me against the world, as always.

I thought things would be different this year. I thought we would be in the new house by now (it now looks like January or February) and that my sister would be here to help us. My sister is not coming back. My son is 15 miles away, but apparently, he doesn’t think enough of us to even check on us, by text, DM, or otherwise. My best friend is no longer my best friend, so we won’t even be having the “friendsgiving” we had talked about having every year.

I loved the holidays when my kids were little. The little things, like gifts they made in school, or watching the excitement on their faces as they opened their own gifts, were among the best things about the holidays. It was fun! One year, I even wrapped every single framed photo in the living room with colorful wrapping paper and bows to decorate the house! Imagine the kids’ surprise when they came home from school to see this! As they got older, the fun was gone.

These days, I despise the holidays. All of them. Every holiday brings back memories and brings on waves of grief and loss. This year for Christmas, the grandkids will get a little something from Dad and me. That is IF we have the money to do even that. Every penny seems to be going toward the new house, and that’s great IF we won’t have to spend another winter in this dilapidated dump we call home.

That Time of The Year, Again

Posted on by
3

I am not looking forward to the holidays. I haven’t enjoyed them as much as I used to since way back in 2009. Some things happened that were beyond my control but, well, let’s just say that it took a therapist to help me get through them. I have blogged about that time of my life here before so I won’t go into it again.

When I was in my early 40s I looked forward to my 50s and 60s when my family would all gather together for the holidays. I always thought I’d have my children and grandchildren all around me. I envisioned reading Christmas stories to the grandkids and watching them hang their personalized ornaments on the tree. I could see the joy of the holidays in their eyes and the excitement of opening gifts. I loved the idea of sharing great food, movies, and traditions. To me, Christmas has always been about family.

Thanksgiving is all about family, too, in my opinion. I imagined having my family all around a big, crowded table, enjoying good food and good times. We’ve had my son and his family here for those dinners and my bestie (at the time) would come and we all had a good time. My bestie decided she was no longer interested in coming for those dinners, and recently I ended that friendship (for other reasons) so there are even fewer people at my imaginary table.

I don’t look forward to the holidays anymore. My life is filled with pain, mobility issues, and the stress of caring for my Dad. My grandkids are here and there, and the nearest hardly even know me. It’s depressing when I think about it so I try not to. But the holidays force the thoughts.

It’s lonely. There’s no joy in the holidays anymore. Sure, we’ve had ham or turkey dinners and a few gifts but I haven’t put up a tree in years. The last time I did, it was a small 1 footer, but I don’t even bother with that anymore. I don’t bother putting decorations up and I don’t even care to keep up the old traditions, or even the newer ones. Why bother with any of it if the kids and grandkids won’t be around to enjoy it with us?

This year, the grandkids will get a gift or 2 from Dad and me, and my kids will get a copy of my cookbook, (that I dedicated to them in the first place). Other than that, nothing special is planned. No tree, no celebration, no traditions, no big feast, no nothing.

Dad and I will stay home and eat junk food. Just kidding. Most likely, I will make simple meals or we’ll go out and eat. It’s depressing being alone and I know Dad feels it, too. He has great-grandchildren who don’t even know him for Pete’s sake! It’s a shame because Dad loves kids and would love to have his great-grandkids around him.

I won’t complain anymore. We’ll get through it; we always do. 

Holiday Depression

Posted on by
10

I won’t be spending much time online until after the holidays. I may pop in at times to read a blog or two, perhaps even comment. Facebook is my go-to for staying in touch with friends and family but during the holidays it’s just depressing. It’s depressing to see posts and photos of family get-togethers, grandkids having fun, and all that good stuff. Why? I’ll explain.

When I was in my 40s and my kids were nearing the age of adulthood, I always envisioned my 50s and 60s with grandkids all around me during the holidays with good food, laughter, and gift-giving. But that didn’t happen. I’m in my 60s and disabled so I can’t travel to see the grandkids, contrary to what some may think. They don’t travel to see us, so I feel even less important and lonely. I have 4 grandchildren within 20 miles and rarely see them. One I haven’t seen in years. One I saw last year and didn’t even recognize her because it had been that long since I saw her last. I see the other 2 (brothers, one is a baby) mostly during the holidays for a few hours. The baby I have seen only once. I will see them this coming week if everything goes as planned.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m taking things too personally but I feel like everyone else gets to enjoy my grandkids while I sit on the sidelines. And poor Dad. He doesn’t even have a relationship with any of his great-grandkids! I see photos of them on Facebook and I love seeing those photos but damn, it’s so depressing! So that’s why I’m going to stay off Facebook until after the holidays. I hate the holidays. I truly, truly hate the holidays.

I’ve not been doing well physically for the past few weeks. I did some major chores and really messed something up. I have pinched nerves as a result. I can’t sit still any longer than I can walk or stand. My rotator cuff injury has been bothering me off and on as well. I’m a hot mess.

Dad is doing ok, aside from falling twice in less than a week. He didn’t hurt himself except for a bruise on his arm. I’m really worried about him and that’s leading to a lot more stress and sleepless nights.

The 3 furbabies are doing well and believe it or not, Jack and BobCat are actually getting along quite well these days! I think they may have had a scuffle or a powwow one day while we were gone because there are times that Jack cowers down to BobCat. Maybe they have come to an agreement of some kind?! Or maybe Alice told them to knock off the horseshit.

I’m making a ham in the instant pot on Thanksgiving, and I’ll whip up some mashed potatoes (the day before) and gravy. I bought pre-made frozen pies because my oven is dead and well, I can’t stand in the kitchen for long. My son and daughter-in-law are bringing the sweet potatoes, rolls, and green bean casserole, (and the 2 grandkids!). My bestie is bringing appetizers. I hope my pain level will allow me to enjoy the day or at least a few hours.

I won’t be blogging until after the holidays so I will wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year all at once! Thank you for following my blog!

Peace, Love, and Rock n Roll,

BAD

How Do You Celebrate The Holidays?

Posted on by
2

Holidays… 

Holidays are depressing. The grandkids are too busy elsewhere to spend the holidays here, although I do see my son and his family for a few hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am grateful for that but I always envisioned my golden years with a houseful of grandkids for the holidays. 

I used to enjoy the holidays when my kids were little. I enjoyed making their holidays fun and exciting. They received gifts of course, but it was the whole season that was important. I didn’t have a lot of money (I never do) but I slowly built a good collection of decor: ornaments, lights, holiday figurines, etc. One thing I did every year was wrap each and every photo hanging on the living room walls in colorful holiday gift wrap, complete with bows and ribbons! It sure made the walls pop in color! I put a tree up and the kids helped decorate it. 

Beginning 5 days before Christmas, my kids would get a small gift each night, like a new folder for school, a pair of decorative socks, or some other small inexpensive gift. On Christmas Eve, the gift would normally be something like a pair of new pajamas or a new outfit for the big day. On Christmas Day, we spent the day watching Christmas movies and pigging out on holiday dinner and treats!

Those days are gone. It’s just me and Dad. He doesn’t care and I don’t care. We just sit here alone and wonder what everyone else is doing. It’s lonely. 

Dad and I don’t even bother getting each other gifts. We get a few gifts for the grandkids (great-grandkids for him) and I don’t even bother sending out cards or putting up a tree. if someone is coming over then we’ll have a holiday dinner of some kind. Last year, I did a charcuterie board and that was just as much work as an actual dinner. 

We always say we’re going to go out to dinner but not too many restaurants are open during the holidays. I’m not sure what we’ll do this year. My oven is broken so I won’t be able to cook anything unless I use my Instant Pot, Crock Pot, or stovetop. Not that I want to cook anything at all. With mobility issues, it just takes too much out of me to cook anything.

Anyway, the holidays are depressing and I’d rather just not have them at all.

Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week

Posted on by
3

Long time, no post. I know. It’s been a rough…year…month…week. Take your pick. Details in another post. For today, I just want to smile and laugh a little. Maybe you do, too. 

This week’s collection is all about that pain in the ass, Elf on a Shelf. He’s a nasty little elf and always up to no good! If you’re easily offended then you’d better skip this post! Otherwise, enjoy!

~~~

6d1349540c39ccaaa3335f42

9f86ff7bad6855baf0bd1cfd347e67a40034bf88bf659cb11421291_673012866064163_518454685_o1510430_269445943203510_1950334525_n12310505_10153427229153621_188387521537163483_n15337491_1175904209154131_7276810275403910338_n23905740_1984825521773806_2020232155031733307_n23915603_1984825621773796_6524814661579338539_n23915651_1984825808440444_5602633459021368080_n23915810_1984825575107134_3392580882373554829_n23915851_1984825465107145_4389390557815016410_n24058687_1984825795107112_188598636300873056_n24058841_1984825718440453_985434813609120383_n24058976_1984825461773812_7476487555020904970_n24059392_1984861191770239_9107843807312331298_o24067799_1984825741773784_3972769795951378505_n24067940_1984825675107124_204432305909301470_n24068031_1984825541773804_6738988354744321102_n24131129_1984825745107117_1272887784796484332_n24131482_1984825498440475_6547939992005604388_n24231719_1984825661773792_598072459210386210_n72098697_2559721530749688_7131812376331943936_n74682736_413827915954591_5475308589084049408_n130196777_187247049701791_1365577728629354203_n263029074_10222678165795432_1249297989146474981_n264097824_462320695252615_6885933391910856002_n267976148_461258165357673_6366819330190414241_n269679478_4915657111799527_1794886791129924837_n315900808_678053600387550_6706510565965508100_n316109653_678844260308484_294075942821470552_n317720734_713960396756639_6305014344319300852_n317884017_5559115197527897_4252864444482331442_n318079714_5507192486073336_978300472910528457_n318297646_5559115294194554_8628060339406976469_n318736131_10162633957464762_4176204584027010895_n318738651_689471235882249_8013316437229690093_n

download (1)

downloadwell-he-said-blow-me-photo-u1

80046633_2969476793085116_6622475365795233792_n

~~~

So, there’s the entire batch! Some have been circulating for a long while and some are newer. Which one was your favorite? Personally, I like the last one! I’d give the kitty a treat for getting rid of that little bugger! 

I’m glad my kids are grown because I don’t think I’d want to deal with this elf on a shelf garbage! I don’t know, maybe it would have been fun back in the day. Do you do this with your kids? Grandkids? 

I hope you’re all doing well. Have a super weekend, everyone! Get your holiday shopping done before it gets too crazy! Be safe, not sorry.

Until next time, 

Aunt Debbie