Fitbit, Go Home! You’re Drunk!

I’m a novice when it comes to many new-fangled gadgets like Amazon’s Echo but I’ve caught on pretty quick. Alexa has been very helpful to me. Another gadget that I’m not too familiar with is the Fitbit Fitness Tracker. It has my brain doing summersaults.

For example, I thought I had it set up correctly and one day it logged that I had gone swimming for 30 minutes. Um. What? I think I would know if I was swimming. I was NOT. So, I removed swimming and several other activities from the list of automatically detected actions. I can only do two of the listed activities, and not very well mind you; walking and my air walker, which is an elliptical of sorts. Now it’s not detecting either of those two things so if I’m doing one I have to manually clock it.

Yesterday morning, it counted 377 steps from the time I got out of bed, went to the kitchen for coffee, and back to my room to the computer. It’s only 36 steps round trip. Huh? I thought, maybe I had my stride set wrong so I refigured. Nope. Still the same. Measured and refigured again. Same.

I wear the Fitbit on my non-dominant hand. I understand it won’t count steps if my arm is not at my side. Sometimes I’m hanging onto something as I walk; my cane in my right hand and holding onto the counter or chair, etc., as I walk by with my left. I’ve been trying to keep my left arm at my side, but sometimes I’m just not that stable. I’ve counted the steps I take, arm at side, checked my Fitbit’s count and have had it be only one step off and other times, it can register 300 steps when I just walked to the kitchen. Trust me, my house is not that big.

I haven’t got it completely figured out yet but one good thing Fitbit does is to tell me about my sleep patterns. Boy, is my sleep WACK! I’m awake so many times during the night and sleep in such short spurts that I’m surprised I can even function! But I’m not even sure how accurate that data is because it doesn’t even register my naps. That’s when I sleep the best.

Fitbit, I WILL figure you out, you pesky little ticker. Then you will be putty in my hand!

Friday’s Funnies – Smudge

It’s time for Friday’s Funnies! Over the past couple of months, one popular themed meme has been circulating on the internet; Woman Yelling at Cat. For the story of Smudge and how this meme came about you can see the video and read a bit about it HERE.

I’m sharing the funniest ones with you today. Some of the funniest are really dirty, so if you want those you’ll have to send me your email address and I will be happy to send them to you!

I hope you enjoy these! They’re pretty funny BUT it could just be my strange sense of humor, too. Sorry, not sorry. Snort! So, without further ado…

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My money’s on Alf!

So, what do you think? Yay or nay?

I hope the new year has started out great for you! Here’s to 2020! May we all have a great year! But let’s begin with the weekend, shall we? Have a great one, folks!

Aunt Debbie

Hey, Alyssa!

From my room, I heard Dad talking to someone. I thought maybe my son had come by and I didn’t hear the door, but Dad’s voice was the only one I heard. Maybe he’s talking to one of the cats, I thought. It sounded like he was getting a bit irritated, though so I figured I’d best go investigate.

I’m in the kitchen now, stopped in my tracks because of what I am witnessing. Here’s how it went.

“Alyssa, turn off that alarm.”

“Dammit, Alyssa! Stop it!”

“Goddam….expletive, expletive!”

“Hey, Alyssa! STOP!”

I walked into the living room and said, “Alexa, stop.” The alarm stopped. Dad looked puzzled at first and then said as he laughed, “I was calling it Alyssa!” I said, “I know, Dad. It’s ok.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I left the room. He doesn’t know I heard him from the kitchen.

We’ve only had the Echo Dot since Christmas Eve; a gift from my son and daughter-in-law. I’m still getting the hang of things too, but I think Dad is going to need a little extra time.

 

 

Friday’s Funnies – Christmas Edition #3 – A Tribute To Alcohol

Yep, you read that right! This week’s funnies are entirely dedicated to alcohol and the holidays! What would we do without it? Some of us would strangle our own mothers, kill our co-workers at the office party, cold-cock the husband with a cast-iron skillet, or ram the neighbors’ giant lighted Santa up their asses because it feels like Clark Griswold’s family just moved in next door….without the aid of our long-time friend, alcohol.

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Alcohol can’t solve our problems, but it sure can make parties more fun, relatives more tolerable, and well, you know! Alcohol can even make a headache go away…ahem. If you drink enough of it, that is! But be sure to stay home or have a designated driver! Please drink responsibly!

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Ok, now on to this week’s funnies. Enjoy!

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Think about poor Santa! How much alcohol do you think he needs to get through the holidays?!

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Bottom’s up, my friends! Have a wonderful weekend and an even better Christmas! Don’t forget to spread that wonderful holiday cheer around! *Snort*

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Merry Christmas!

Aunt Debbie

Saturday Morning Ramblings

First of all, I just want to say I am SO behind on reading your blogs and I will try very hard to get caught up! I promise! There are so many of you who are producing great reads and I feel terrible for falling behind.

Dad and I decided to stay home this lovely Saturday. We normally go out on Saturdays for lunch but we went out twice this week already! The first time was after Dad’s periodontist appointment. I asked him if he was in pain and he said, “Not enough to keep me from eating. I’m hungry!” So we stopped at a little Mexican restaurant on the way home called, El Patron. We had eaten there before but it seems to get worse every time. The salsa was so full of cilantro that I couldn’t taste anything else. The enchiladas weren’t very tasty, and the service wasn’t very friendly or attentive. They have octopus dishes on the menu and I can’t help but wonder, where the hell are they getting octopus in SW Missouri? Is there an aquarium down the road that I’m not aware of? Ok, before you think I’m stupid, I know it has to be frozen!

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Is this the elusive octopus of SW Missouri? Photo Image Pixabay

Two days later, we were out getting groceries. Yay, Walmart. I despise that place. Anyway, we got groceries and then drove a few extra miles to have pizza at our favorite pizza restaurant. Our eyes were bigger than our bellies that day! Dad had a shrimp basket and I had cheese ravioli, which was delicious but then we decided to get a pizza to go – our regular 16″ House pizza, adding black olives – and an 8 piece hot wings appetizer TO GO! We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the entire next day! I’m about pizza’d out!

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Photo Image Pixabay

One of those days we were out and about, we spied 19 hawks while driving to and from. We used to see a lot of hawks, and sometimes eagles, but for some reason, we stopped seeing them. It was like they moved to another state or something! I mean, it wasn’t just for a season. It had been over a year before we started seeing them again. We were shocked and amazed at how many we saw in one day after such a long period of time.

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Red-tailed Hawk Photo Image Pixabay

We saw a few different raptors that day: a Broad-winged hawk, a few Red-shouldered hawks, but mostly Red-tailed and Cooper’s hawks. There were a few that we weren’t able to identify, because we were, after all, in a moving vehicle. I miss being able to go outside with my Field Guide to the Birds of Missouri, my binoculars, and camera. I guess I have to be satisfied with our “hawk hunting” when we go somewhere!

I suppose I’ve rambled enough for one day! I’m going to leave you with this: A bear doesn’t wear underwear OR use toilet paper and no one would ever mistake toilet paper for a bouncy castle! Hahaha! Have a wonderful weekend!