This morning I woke up around 7:30am. It was cold in the house because we turn the heat off at night and the low overnight was supposed to be around 18 degrees. It was a bit “nipply” as Dad says. He turned on the heater and we had coffee while we watched the news.

Two hours later, I was still cold. I put my hoody on and covered my legs with a blanket. We aren’t ‘breakfast people’ so I thought I’d be different and asked Dad if he wanted me to make breakfast. He said, “No, thanks. I can’t eat on an empty stomach.” I laughed and tried to occupy myself on the laptop. After a couple more hours, I was feeling chilled to the bone. I just couldn’t warm up.

It was 11:45am already; nearly lunchtime. I gave in and turned on my heated blanket and snuggled up underneath. I didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep. I woke up at 1:15pm in a panic. I said, “Shit, it’s almost 1:30 and I have to be at that thing. I’ll never make it in time!” Dad looked at me funny and asked, “What thing?” “That thing they canceled yesterday. I was still supposed to be there today,” I told him. He was still confused and asked, “What thing? If you were supposed to be somewhere today, I didn’t know anything about it.” I hid my aggravation and tried to recall details. “Oh, that thing…” I rubbed my forehead trying to remember. Then I looked up at him and asked, “Am I confused?!” He asked, “Do you know what day it is?” I said, “It’s Sunday, isn’t it?” I got up to go to the bathroom.

All the way there I tried to remember details about the thing I was supposed to go to. By the time I got to the bathroom, I realized I was confused. I must’ve been dreaming, but the dream I was having prior to waking up had nothing to do with the thing I was supposed to go to! Of course, now I can’t remember what I was dreaming!

I’ve woken up confused before. I’ve woken up not sure if I was waking from a nap or after a good night’s sleep. I’ve woken up thinking I’m going to miss the bus or that I forgot my locker combination, but it has never taken so long to realize I was dreaming! I feel like I’m losing my mind!

I’ll never live it down; Dad will tease me about it for a long time and I’ll probably regret writing about it…BUT if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at? Unga Bunga.


Hey, Alyssa!

From my room, I heard Dad talking to someone. I thought maybe my son had come by and I didn’t hear the door, but Dad’s voice was the only one I heard. Maybe he’s talking to one of the cats, I thought. It sounded like he was getting a bit irritated, though so I figured I’d best go investigate.

I’m in the kitchen now, stopped in my tracks because of what I am witnessing. Here’s how it went.

“Alyssa, turn off that alarm.”

“Dammit, Alyssa! Stop it!”

“Goddam….expletive, expletive!”

“Hey, Alyssa! STOP!”

I walked into the living room and said, “Alexa, stop.” The alarm stopped. Dad looked puzzled at first and then said as he laughed, “I was calling it Alyssa!” I said, “I know, Dad. It’s ok.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I left the room. He doesn’t know I heard him from the kitchen.

We’ve only had the Echo Dot since Christmas Eve; a gift from my son and daughter-in-law. I’m still getting the hang of things too, but I think Dad is going to need a little extra time.



Crossed Wires

The other night, Dad and I were outside walking towards the house. I heard him say something and turned to ask him what he said. He repeated it.

“Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?” He asked.

“What?” I replied because I didn’t understand what he just said.

He repeated himself with more emphasis. “Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?”

Again, I replied but with a little unbelief in my voice, “WHAT? Dad that doesn’t make any sense.”

He was getting angry now. “Oh, Goddammit,” he said with a raised voice.

“Sorry, Dad. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I replied. I was thinking our wires must be crossed, as they say.


He repeated the same thing again, except this time he used hand motions to convey his message. “Do you want me to scrape (hands motioning like a window cleaner cleaning a window with a squeegee) the house for the pancakes (motioning his hands as if he was bouncing a ball)?

Now I was thinking does he have full-blown Alzheimer’s or is it me? Do I have dementia? Good grief!

About that time I woke up and thought to myself, thank the heavens it was just a dream!


Last night I went to bed barely able to walk. I was in severe pain from the cleaning I did that day. I just bite off more than I can chew, every stinkin’ time. Anyway, I went to bed and fell asleep quickly.

This morning, Dad poked his head into my room and says “Hey it’s after 9:00.”

I rolled my head towards the door. I said, ” Oh shit,” and rubbed my eyes a little and asked him, “What time is my appointment?”

“It’s Saturday,” he responded after a brief pause. I’m pretty sure he was trying to decide if I was serious or just screwing with him.

“SHIT! I’m so confused!” I said, clearing my throat. This type of confusion usually only happens when I take a nap and have slept pretty hard. This is the first time it’s happened from a good night’s sleep – and I must have slept really hard!

Dad chuckled and went on to clatter the dishes in the kitchen as if to make sure I didn’t fall back asleep. It took me awhile to get my brain and my body acclimated. I wish I didn’t hurt so damn bad in the mornings! I was up and ready for our weekly outing to have lunch. Today, we were planning to have Italian food.

Later, I recalled another odd time that I had been severely confused but it was back in my 20’s. It was the middle of the night; 2:00 am actually. I was sound asleep, my now-ex next to me snoring his damn fool head off. The phone rang. It was on my side of the bed, so I answered it.


“Hey, Debbie! How are you? Are you ready for this weekend?”

“Uhm. Yeah? Who is this?”

“Oh Debbie, wake up! It’s me, Phyllis.”

At this point, I was seriously trying to ‘wake up’ because I couldn’t remember who Phyllis was! I asked the caller, “Phyllis who?”

“Phyllis. Your hairdresser! Wake up, Debbie!!”

By now, I thought I had a prank caller on the line. I said in my snarkiest voice, “I think you have the wrong number, Phyllis, the hairdresser.” 

She replied back with my phone number and my full name…. I confirmed that WAS my number….AND my name…..

“I think you must have the wrong Debbie [last name] because I don’t know anyone named Phyllis and I don’t have a hairdresser! I cut my own hair!”

She was perturbed with me; I could hear the aggravation in her voice as she said, “Well, I’ll call you back tomorrow, Debbie….. after you’ve had a chance to wake up.”

I managed a quiet, “Whatever,” before hanging up and I rolled over and went back to sleep.

It was quite puzzling until the next day at work. I was congratulated several times by coworkers on my ‘pending nuptials’ which left me scratching my head. I just thanked them and went on with my day each time.

When I returned home, I grabbed the day’s newspaper and confirmed that I was to be married to a man named Dennis, whom I had never met. There were no photos, so that explained why everyone thought it was me. But Phyllis…..she must have opened the phone book and just assumed I was the one. She probably realized she had the wrong Debbie soon enough because she never called me back!