Confusion

This morning I woke up around 7:30am. It was cold in the house because we turn the heat off at night and the low overnight was supposed to be around 18 degrees. It was a bit “nipply” as Dad says. He turned on the heater and we had coffee while we watched the news.

Two hours later, I was still cold. I put my hoody on and covered my legs with a blanket. We aren’t ‘breakfast people’ so I thought I’d be different and asked Dad if he wanted me to make breakfast. He said, “No, thanks. I can’t eat on an empty stomach.” I laughed and tried to occupy myself on the laptop. After a couple more hours, I was feeling chilled to the bone. I just couldn’t warm up.

It was 11:45am already; nearly lunchtime. I gave in and turned on my heated blanket and snuggled up underneath. I didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep. I woke up at 1:15pm in a panic. I said, “Shit, it’s almost 1:30 and I have to be at that thing. I’ll never make it in time!” Dad looked at me funny and asked, “What thing?” “That thing they canceled yesterday. I was still supposed to be there today,” I told him. He was still confused and asked, “What thing? If you were supposed to be somewhere today, I didn’t know anything about it.” I hid my aggravation and tried to recall details. “Oh, that thing…” I rubbed my forehead trying to remember. Then I looked up at him and asked, “Am I confused?!” He asked, “Do you know what day it is?” I said, “It’s Sunday, isn’t it?” I got up to go to the bathroom.

All the way there I tried to remember details about the thing I was supposed to go to. By the time I got to the bathroom, I realized I was confused. I must’ve been dreaming, but the dream I was having prior to waking up had nothing to do with the thing I was supposed to go to! Of course, now I can’t remember what I was dreaming!

I’ve woken up confused before. I’ve woken up not sure if I was waking from a nap or after a good night’s sleep. I’ve woken up thinking I’m going to miss the bus or that I forgot my locker combination, but it has never taken so long to realize I was dreaming! I feel like I’m losing my mind!

I’ll never live it down; Dad will tease me about it for a long time and I’ll probably regret writing about it…BUT if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at? Unga Bunga.

i7jdtl966ww61

Hey, Alyssa!

From my room, I heard Dad talking to someone. I thought maybe my son had come by and I didn’t hear the door, but Dad’s voice was the only one I heard. Maybe he’s talking to one of the cats, I thought. It sounded like he was getting a bit irritated, though so I figured I’d best go investigate.

I’m in the kitchen now, stopped in my tracks because of what I am witnessing. Here’s how it went.

“Alyssa, turn off that alarm.”

“Dammit, Alyssa! Stop it!”

“Goddam….expletive, expletive!”

“Hey, Alyssa! STOP!”

I walked into the living room and said, “Alexa, stop.” The alarm stopped. Dad looked puzzled at first and then said as he laughed, “I was calling it Alyssa!” I said, “I know, Dad. It’s ok.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I left the room. He doesn’t know I heard him from the kitchen.

We’ve only had the Echo Dot since Christmas Eve; a gift from my son and daughter-in-law. I’m still getting the hang of things too, but I think Dad is going to need a little extra time.

 

 

Crossed Wires

The other night, Dad and I were outside walking towards the house. I heard him say something and turned to ask him what he said. He repeated it.

“Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?” He asked.

“What?” I replied because I didn’t understand what he just said.

He repeated himself with more emphasis. “Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?”

Again, I replied but with a little unbelief in my voice, “WHAT? Dad that doesn’t make any sense.”

He was getting angry now. “Oh, Goddammit,” he said with a raised voice.

“Sorry, Dad. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I replied. I was thinking our wires must be crossed, as they say.

telephone-1822040_960_720

He repeated the same thing again, except this time he used hand motions to convey his message. “Do you want me to scrape (hands motioning like a window cleaner cleaning a window with a squeegee) the house for the pancakes (motioning his hands as if he was bouncing a ball)?

Now I was thinking does he have full-blown Alzheimer’s or is it me? Do I have dementia? Good grief!

About that time I woke up and thought to myself, thank the heavens it was just a dream!

Confusion

Last night I went to bed barely able to walk. I was in severe pain from the cleaning I did that day. I just bite off more than I can chew, every stinkin’ time. Anyway, I went to bed and fell asleep quickly.

This morning, Dad poked his head into my room and says “Hey it’s after 9:00.”

I rolled my head towards the door. I said, ” Oh shit,” and rubbed my eyes a little and asked him, “What time is my appointment?”

“It’s Saturday,” he responded after a brief pause. I’m pretty sure he was trying to decide if I was serious or just screwing with him.

“SHIT! I’m so confused!” I said, clearing my throat. This type of confusion usually only happens when I take a nap and have slept pretty hard. This is the first time it’s happened from a good night’s sleep – and I must have slept really hard!

Dad chuckled and went on to clatter the dishes in the kitchen as if to make sure I didn’t fall back asleep. It took me awhile to get my brain and my body acclimated. I wish I didn’t hurt so damn bad in the mornings! I was up and ready for our weekly outing to have lunch. Today, we were planning to have Italian food.

Later, I recalled another odd time that I had been severely confused but it was back in my 20’s. It was the middle of the night; 2:00 am actually. I was sound asleep, my now-ex next to me snoring his damn fool head off. The phone rang. It was on my side of the bed, so I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Debbie! How are you? Are you ready for this weekend?”

“Uhm. Yeah? Who is this?”

“Oh Debbie, wake up! It’s me, Phyllis.”

At this point, I was seriously trying to ‘wake up’ because I couldn’t remember who Phyllis was! I asked the caller, “Phyllis who?”

“Phyllis. Your hairdresser! Wake up, Debbie!!”

By now, I thought I had a prank caller on the line. I said in my snarkiest voice, “I think you have the wrong number, Phyllis, the hairdresser.” 

She replied back with my phone number and my full name…. I confirmed that WAS my number….AND my name…..

“I think you must have the wrong Debbie [last name] because I don’t know anyone named Phyllis and I don’t have a hairdresser! I cut my own hair!”

She was perturbed with me; I could hear the aggravation in her voice as she said, “Well, I’ll call you back tomorrow, Debbie….. after you’ve had a chance to wake up.”

I managed a quiet, “Whatever,” before hanging up and I rolled over and went back to sleep.

It was quite puzzling until the next day at work. I was congratulated several times by coworkers on my ‘pending nuptials’ which left me scratching my head. I just thanked them and went on with my day each time.

When I returned home, I grabbed the day’s newspaper and confirmed that I was to be married to a man named Dennis, whom I had never met. There were no photos, so that explained why everyone thought it was me. But Phyllis…..she must have opened the phone book and just assumed I was the one. She probably realized she had the wrong Debbie soon enough because she never called me back!