It’s been quite a long time since I’ve sat down to write. It’s difficult with lack of sleep and when things aren’t going so well. I haven’t been on social media much lately because the bullshit infuriates me. Between the misinformation and the hypocrisy, I don’t know whether to shit or go blind, as my Granny used to say.
I’ve been watching my Dad’s health decline over the last few months and it’s ripping my heart out. Inevitably, I will lose him so I am making the best of the time I have left to love and appreciate him. His memory is failing him and he’s been having some health issues. He’s finding it more difficult to understand simple things. Thankfully, he hasn’t had a fall since July…knock on wood. He’s a bit unstable at times when walking but manages to keep himself upright with the aid of a cane. I’m finding myself watching him like a hawk, trying to do so without making it obvious. It’s been a rough couple of months because as you know, I have my own health issues; chronic pain and mobility issues always make things more difficult for me. Dad’s not able to help me with little things around the house like he used to and I have no other help. I just take things one day at a time.
Someone asked me the other day, “What will you do when you have to live alone?” “I’m not afraid to live alone,” I explained. “I’m afraid of being forgotten. Forgotten by family and friends. Left behind. Most of my family is in Tennessee and I’m in Missouri. My son is less than 15 miles away and I don’t hear from him very often.” I don’t relish the thought of living here without my Dad but I don’t have a problem living alone. The memories will haunt me, I’m sure.
I’m really trying to hold things together here, and I know I need to write more. I try. I think about something I’d like to write about and then…I just don’t do it. I just don’t have the motivation but I’m trying to get it back. I keep saying that and maybe it will snap back into place sooner than later!
I am enjoying the cooler weather, now that Fall is here. Sweater weather is my favorite weather of all! I just pray that the winter we have coming won’t be like the last!
Well, first of all, I’ve been writing and re-writing this post since Saturday. Every time I read it, I feel like it’s not good enough, sounds stupid, or “that doesn’t make sense.” So, I’m starting over and writing as it comes and if it’s not good enough, too damn bad. If you disagree, then that’s fine. These are my feelings and opinions, and NOT up for debate.
*When I was growing up, through old movies I watched with my Dad, I learned that it was wrong to shoot or stab someone in the back. It meant that you were a yellow-bellied coward. You should always look your enemy in the eye. Have a fight that is fair. No back-stabbing. No bullets in the back. It all seemed so logical at the time and it still does.
Why would you shoot someone in the back anyway? Unless you were a yellow-bellied coward…
Fast forward to 2020, August 23rd to be exact. A young black man, father of 6 children, was shot 7 times at close range….IN THE BACK! Jacob Blake is his name. He is paralyzed and will have life-long issues. Three of his children watched their father being shot in the back by a police officer.
Police officers need to be trained better! They need to be taught to never shoot a man in the back! What a cowardly thing to do. I don’t care if Mr. Blake had a knife or not. I don’t care what his past was. (No, he did NOT rape a child.) He didn’t deserve to be shot in the back! I don’t care if there was a struggle. A person walking away or running away poses no threat to police officers. If Mr. Blake had a gun and was shooting at the police as he ran away, then that would be a different story. But he didn’t have a gun. The officer who fired those shots was following Mr. Blake at very close range. That officer also put 3 of Mr. Blake’s young children in danger! They watched from the backseat of the vehicle in horror as their father was shot! What if one or more of those bullets had missed Mr. Blake and ricocheted, hitting one of those children?
This event and others like it, are occurring more often in this country and it sickens me. Kyle Rittenhouse killed two people and injured others, but he’s alive. Had he been black, they would have shot him dead. I could list dozens of incidents but it’s exhausting to even think about it. I’m so disillusioned and disappointed in people. I do support police officers. They do a dangerous job in protecting the public but ANY police officer who shoots a man in the back should be held accountable and by that, I mean fired. PERIOD.
*On the subject of COVID-19, I’m sick to death of hearing our POTUS continually ignore science and experts in the field. What the hell is wrong with him?! 6 million people have tested positive for COVID-19 in the US. OVER 183,000 of those people have DIED.Now, I’ve heard him pushing herd immunity. It’s just another attempt at ignoring the severity of the COVID-19 problem.
Scientists say that in order to achieve herd immunity, 50% to 70% of the United States population would need to be immune (either by infection or vaccination) to stop the spread. That’s 165 million to 230 million people! The death rate from this virus is about 1%, which sounds like such a small number BUT that could mean 2.3 million people in the US would have to die. Some research suggests that herd immunity could be achieved at just 20% of the population. That would mean 600,000 people would die.
Haven’t we had enough deaths in this country?
*I’m disgusted with Trump for so many reasons… Too many to list here, although that post may come some time in the near future. I just can’t understand WHY it’s so easy for Trump’s followers to believe that Joe Biden is a terrible person and unworthy of the title of POTUS… but so difficult for them to believe that Trump is a despicable, dishonest, racist, ignorant, narcissistic, hateful human being when it’s all laid out for the entire world to see.
*On a personal note, my littlest grandchild, Hudson, turned 2 years old yesterday. His party is Saturday and unfortunately, Dad and I won’t be going. If you follow my blog, then you may recall that my Dad is 83 years old and at high risk for contracting COVID-19. A birthday party is just not a risk we’re willing to take. This terrible virus is affecting us all. I’m not one to ignore science, neither is Dad, so we continue to stay home.
Depression comes and goes but we are doing more to occupy our minds. Jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles and other word games, movies and tv series’ keep us busy. So does food, but I won’t mention the tendency to overeat or the weight I’ve gained! On the flip side, Dad has lost weight. He’s getting so skinny and try as I might to get him to eat more, he just doesn’t have much of an appetite. It could be the heat, too, so thankfully we’re looking at some cooler temps as we enter into the Fall season…or more commonly known in my house as “Sweater Weather.”
I’ve been slacking in my blog writing duties. I even spaced out last week and forgot Friday’s Funnies! Sometimes, I write something and then I decide it’s either not good enough or I’m worried about the backlash of something I say. You know what I mean. Some folks can’t handle when others have a different opinion. I don’t need the drama.
My youngest grandson, Hudson, just had his very first birthday celebration on Saturday. It was a hoot! He thoroughly enjoyed his cake and he received so many gifts, he’ll be busy for a long time! I took thousands of photos thanks to the “burst” feature on my phone. I didn’t want to miss a second! I’m very proud of my son and daughter-in-law for raising such a happy, happy kid! He seems to have a bit of the same personality as my son did at that age. If that’s any indication at all, he will be a real kick-in-the-pants as he gets older!
Monday rolled around and I was cleaning the house up a bit. I’m having a friend over tomorrow for some crochet instruction; more like lunch and mudslides. While I was busy cleaning, Dad decided to go out and mow a bit. It was very hot though so he said it would just be for about an hour or so. He wasn’t outside for longer than 15-20 minutes when I heard this loud, horrible noise. I looked up and saw that our satellite signal had gone. I thought, Oh, great. Dad hit his head on the dish and knocked himself out. Well, that didn’t happen. I went outside and found that Dad had mowed over the extra cable outside. The cable got caught on the mower blades and spun that sucker up like a ball of yarn! It not only ripped the connector out but sliced the cable in two pieces! Great, just great. My son came over today and unwrapped the cable from the blades, hooked up a new cable, reset the box and we were good to go. Thank goodness. It’s boring as hell around here without tv!
I’m really looking forward to the Fall weather or sweater weather as I call it. I’m sick to death of being hot and sticky. I mean, you can only take off so many layers of clothing! I’m looking forward to taking photos of the leaves changing, and sitting outside comfortably. I wish I could still go hiking. Walking is one of my favorite things to do, but I can barely walk these days.
Maybe the change of seasons will inspire me to write more. I know I need to be more consistent. I sometimes just don’t know what to write about! Where do you find your inspiration to write? Do you have any suggestions for me? I’m all ears and eyes here, so lay them on me!
Being Aunt Debbie 