Tag Archives: holidays

2:23am

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Here I sit at the computer, in the wee morning hours of Monday. I went to bed at 9:30pm Sunday night because I had 3 yummy Kahlua Mudslides and they really kicked my butt. (I should know better than to have more than one of any kind of alcoholic beverage!) After 3 hours of sleep, I was wide awake!

This is the time of the year when I get depressed. I just hate the holidays! I have never been a fanatic about the holidays but when my kids were growing up, I always tried to make it nice for them. It was fun making memories. I looked forward to having a house full of grandkids on the holidays to make even more special memories….but that’s where the depression comes in.

I don’t get to spend the holidays with any of the grandkids. It appears the newest grandbaby will be no exception. I’ve seen him 3 times since he was born, Sept. 1. I know they didn’t want to take him out until he was a bit bigger so I had no problem stopping by to see him. Chronic pain and mobility issues prevented me from stopping by more often. But now, my son and his wife are going here and there, spending time with her family…and here I sit waiting for them to come see me. They have gone out of town, and apparently, I won’t be seeing them on Thanksgiving either. So, it will be just Dad and I, once again.

That’s where the Kahlua Mudslide came in… I’m sick of feeling unnecessary, left out, and unwanted. I know alcohol doesn’t help but on the bright side, as I sit here my pain level is pretty low! Bazinga!

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother TeresaRead more at_ https_www.brainyquote.comquotesmother_teresa_131834_img=2&s

Ba Hum Bug or Why I Hate The Holidays

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I used to love this time of year! When my kids were little, Christmas was a blast! We always decorated the house and put up a tree. We had certain traditions that we carried on through the years; new traditions and old traditions from when I was a child. We made cookies and popcorn cake. We made handmade pizza on Christmas Eve and watched Christmas movies like Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and the original Grinch That Stole Christmas and others. We always had a little talk about what Christmas was all about and we watched a little movie about Jesus. Seeing the excitement on the kids’ faces as Christmas approached was amazing which made up for the work and stress of preparing for this special day!

As the years went by, the holidays became more stressful and less fun because the kids were older and you know how hard it is to shop for teenagers! They are very hard to please at times and it was so stressful trying to make things special for them. They were never, EVER, ungrateful but things just weren’t the same as when they were small.

After the kids left home and started giving me grandchildren, I started getting excited again about the holidays. But things went sour after only a couple Christmases and well, I won’t go into that because it’s still very raw. I got 2 Christmases with grandson #1 and now I rarely see him. I don’t even have a relationship with him. I’m not treated as family but more of an outsider. I got a few Christmases with granddaughter, but now she is being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, which means no more holidays with her. (For the record, I don’t have a problem with JW specifically.) I do have a relationship with my granddaughter, though. She’s my sweetheart and we are very close. Grandson #3 is out of state with his mother. I can understand no holidays with him because kids and their parents move out of state all the time. I have to say I feel robbed not being able to celebrate holidays with the other 2 grandkids since they are both just 30 minutes away.

I haven’t put up a tree in probably 6 years. What’s the point? It’s just my dad and I and maybe my son for a short time. I always buy a few gifts but it’s just not the same without the kids and grandkids. It’s depressing and I just want to crawl in a hole until it’s all over and the new year starts. You may be thinking I should put up a tree anyway because it might make me feel better. Well, maybe. But maybe it will make the depression worse. I don’t know. Besides, I am disabled and I just can’t be doing that kind of thing anymore.

Anyway, I just grin and bear it and wait for it to pass….with a little help from my therapist and Captain Morgan.

Ba-Hum-Bug and cheers!

 

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                           Photo Courtesy of Captain Morgan

 

Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie Recipe

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I’ve been so preoccupied with the holidays that I haven’t had a chance to post the recipes I had planned to. Here’s a de-lish ice cream pie that I’ve made a few times for my family. It’ll be a big hit!

Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie

1 graham cracker pie crust
1/2 c. creamy peanut butter
1/4 c. honey
1 qt. vanilla ice cream, slightly softened
1/2 c. chopped cashews (or peanuts)
6 oz. chocolate fudge topping
8 oz. whipped cream

Mix peanut butter and honey. Stir mix into softened ice cream. Spoon half of the ice cream into pie crust. (Work fast, especially if you’re making during the warm months!) Sprinkle with half of the cashews. Drizzle 4 oz. of the fudge topping over nuts. Spoon the remaining ice cream onto pie. Sprinkle with remaining nuts and drizzle with remaining chocolate over top. Spread whipped cream over top. Freeze for 6 hours.

NOTES: You can add your own touch; a bit of caramel syrup or mini-chocolate chips, shaved chocolate, shredded coconut, bits of crushed heath bar or peanut brittle even! Have fun and enjoy!