2:23am

Here I sit at the computer, in the wee morning hours of Monday. I went to bed at 9:30pm Sunday night because I had 3 yummy Kahlua Mudslides and they really kicked my butt. (I should know better than to have more than one of any kind of alcoholic beverage!) After 3 hours of sleep, I was wide awake!

This is the time of the year when I get depressed. I just hate the holidays! I have never been a fanatic about the holidays but when my kids were growing up, I always tried to make it nice for them. It was fun making memories. I looked forward to having a house full of grandkids on the holidays to make even more special memories….but that’s where the depression comes in.

I don’t get to spend the holidays with any of the grandkids. It appears the newest grandbaby will be no exception. I’ve seen him 3 times since he was born, Sept. 1. I know they didn’t want to take him out until he was a bit bigger so I had no problem stopping by to see him. Chronic pain and mobility issues prevented me from stopping by more often. But now, my son and his wife are going here and there, spending time with her family…and here I sit waiting for them to come see me. They have gone out of town, and apparently, I won’t be seeing them on Thanksgiving either. So, it will be just Dad and I, once again.

That’s where the Kahlua Mudslide came in… I’m sick of feeling unnecessary, left out, and unwanted. I know alcohol doesn’t help but on the bright side, as I sit here my pain level is pretty low! Bazinga!

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother TeresaRead more at_ https_www.brainyquote.comquotesmother_teresa_131834_img=2&s

20 thoughts on “2:23am”

      1. I don’t like that…It’s always the daughter in law who is oftentimes in charge. You know the saying, “A daughter is a daughter for life but a son is a son until he takes a wife.” Crazy, right? Because I have proven it with my own family. My Mom is way closer to my child than she is to my brother’s child. I only have one child and it’s a boy and I worry about the day he gets married. I pray to God I like my daughter in law and that she loves me.

        I feel for you, Deb! Believe me, I do. 😒

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey 😠 you’re not unwanted and you’re not lonely! I’m here and all odd those who follow you . We’re your 2nd family . We’re here.
    You might not see them often , but they’re there , near you , in the same country. Don’t forget , if you need help just call them and they’ll be there .
    Alcohol doesn’t cure, it worsen things when its effect fades. 😠
    You’re a strong woman who has lived worse. Plus you have your dad, what can you for more than that. He might be your son but as far as i can see , your dad worth 10 of your sons. So smile you’re not alone. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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