2:23am

Here I sit at the computer, in the wee morning hours of Monday. I went to bed at 9:30pm Sunday night because I had 3 yummy Kahlua Mudslides and they really kicked my butt. (I should know better than to have more than one of any kind of alcoholic beverage!) After 3 hours of sleep, I was wide awake!

This is the time of the year when I get depressed. I just hate the holidays! I have never been a fanatic about the holidays but when my kids were growing up, I always tried to make it nice for them. It was fun making memories. I looked forward to having a house full of grandkids on the holidays to make even more special memories….but that’s where the depression comes in.

I don’t get to spend the holidays with any of the grandkids. It appears the newest grandbaby will be no exception. I’ve seen him 3 times since he was born, Sept. 1. I know they didn’t want to take him out until he was a bit bigger so I had no problem stopping by to see him. Chronic pain and mobility issues prevented me from stopping by more often. But now, my son and his wife are going here and there, spending time with her family…and here I sit waiting for them to come see me. They have gone out of town, and apparently, I won’t be seeing them on Thanksgiving either. So, it will be just Dad and I, once again.

That’s where the Kahlua Mudslide came in… I’m sick of feeling unnecessary, left out, and unwanted. I know alcohol doesn’t help but on the bright side, as I sit here my pain level is pretty low! Bazinga!

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother TeresaRead more at_ https_www.brainyquote.comquotesmother_teresa_131834_img=2&s

20 thoughts on “2:23am”

You are not unwanted! Stop taking so much efforts and relax! Be yourself and enjoy your life! You are not alone! “Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” — Hermann Hesse

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Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 9:44 am said:

I do everything I can to enjoy my life, as much as my mobility will allow, but it gets lonely. I AM tired of trying though. It would be nice to have family around, especially my children and grandchildren, to make life a little more enjoyable.

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Did you express to your son that you wanted him and his family come spend time with you this Holiday, especially since your mobility is limited?

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Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 9:37 am said:

I have always extended the invitation, and this time they were already out of town and won’t be back until after Thanksgiving. They didn’t even think twice about leaving without coming to see us.

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- Rakkelle on November 19, 2018 at 10:37 am said:
  
  I don’t like that…It’s always the daughter in law who is oftentimes in charge. You know the saying, “A daughter is a daughter for life but a son is a son until he takes a wife.” Crazy, right? Because I have proven it with my own family. My Mom is way closer to my child than she is to my brother’s child. I only have one child and it’s a boy and I worry about the day he gets married. I pray to God I like my daughter in law and that she loves me.
  
  I feel for you, Deb! Believe me, I do. 😒
  
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  - Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 1:03 pm said:
    
    Thanks. I love my daughter in law and her family is great. They just don’t see they monopolize all of his time. I guess it’s a little comfort knowing that this isn’t an isolated incident. 💜 Thanks for understanding, Racquel.
    
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    - Rakkelle on November 19, 2018 at 2:43 pm said:
      
      Deb, do you have any daughters?
      
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    - Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 4:41 pm said:
      
      My daughter lives in Tennessee. 😦 I’m thinkin’ I should have more kids. Lol.
      
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    - Rakkelle on November 19, 2018 at 4:42 pm said:
      
      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
      
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I am so sorry you feel that way hon. have you asked your son to stop by, have you told him how you feel?? or her? you can skype or video chat with savanna and her son, daphne. better than nothing😉 you have so much to offer. 😕🖒🌞😍

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Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 9:35 am said:

I will pm you sis…

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Hey 😠 you’re not unwanted and you’re not lonely! I’m here and all odd those who follow you . We’re your 2nd family . We’re here.
You might not see them often , but they’re there , near you , in the same country. Don’t forget , if you need help just call them and they’ll be there .
Alcohol doesn’t cure, it worsen things when its effect fades. 😠
You’re a strong woman who has lived worse. Plus you have your dad, what can you for more than that. He might be your son but as far as i can see , your dad worth 10 of your sons. So smile you’re not alone. 😊

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Deb / Being Aunt Debbie on November 19, 2018 at 12:59 pm said:

Thanks. I know alcohol doesn’t cure anything but it dulls the physical pain and heartache. The holidays are always hard for me. My feelings are hurt that my son doesn’t give me a second thought. 😡

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- Novus Lectio on November 19, 2018 at 1:03 pm said:
  
  He will one day. Give him time. He’ll be back.
  
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