Category Archives: Bad Days

El Sucktomento…As My Dad Would Say.

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So far, this year has sucked royally.

We suffered through over 30 days with a clogged kitchen sink. We couldn’t do dishes, rinse canned beans, wash produce, or even rinse our hands! We had to do everything that required water in the bathroom. Trust me, washing dishes is never my favorite thing but washing them in the little bathroom sink sucks balls! So does rinsing beans and veggies over the tub! I tried several different products to try and unclog the drain, and wasted time trying to plunge the damn thing. Dad finally gave in and called a plumber since my son, apparently doesn’t have time for us, and after a whole 30 minutes, our sink was unclogged! It was an expensive 30 minutes because the guy got lost and he was on the clock the whole time he was trying to find us. It cost us a little over $300 bucks! Ugh.

All was good after the sink was unclogged and I thought things could go back to normal. But no. Things would not go back to normal. Last Tuesday, I got ready for bed (I sleep in my power lift chair) and when I tried to recline the chair, the hand control wouldn’t work. I thought the cats might have stepped on the power strip and turned it off, or knocked the plug to the power strip out of the wall. Those things have happened before. I checked and nothing looked suspicious. I made sure the plug was all the way in, making a good connection. I sat back down, and the hand control worked so I proceeded to recline and get comfy for the night.

At 3:00am my bladder woke me up and when I tried to raise the chair to a sitting position, the hand control wouldn’t work again. I thought, boy am I screwed! I tried again and the chair started to move but it moved in the opposite direction I wanted it to go and wouldn’t stop! I had to wake Dad up with my emergency call button. He put a footstool under the footrest of the chair to keep it steady while I scooted off the damn chair! I was so damn mad. I mean, I haven’t been able to sleep in my bed for years because it caused me too much pain and now my chair is dead. Where the hell am I going to sleep? Where the hell am I going to sit to relax? I can’t sit in Dad’s recliner because it rocks. I can’t sit in any of the other chairs in the house because they rock, too. I’m stuck with my wheelchair. It’s the only chair I can get in and out of now. Ugh. Can things get any worse?

I’ve been sleeping in my bed, uncomfortably and painfully. It’s making my leg and back problems worse. I’m not sleeping well at all. New chairs are too expensive. I tried to find a used chair. That wasn’t going well either. My poor chair. It’s been good to me for about 5 years now. It was used and only $200. I think it’s given me $200 worth of comfort! But…

Yesterday, I got to thinking maybe it was the transformer that went out because that’s happened before. Last year, I bought an extra transformer (a universal one) so I switched it out to see if my chair would work. Nope. So that wasn’t the problem. I didn’t think it was but it was worth a try. I wanted to try that though before I bought a new hand controller. I found a universal hand controller on Amazon and ordered it. It will be here Friday and hopefully, it will solve my problem so I can sleep in my chair again!

Stay tuned to find out if my chair will be brought back to life!

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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The last 3 months have been awful. It all started just before Thanksgiving when I did a few chores to get ready for guests.

I’m not kidding myself about this crappy house. I know that no matter what I do, the house will still look like ass, as my sister would say. But there were a few things that needed to be done and if I don’t do it then who will? One of those things was the cat litter box that needed to be dumped, cleaned, disinfected, and refilled. I use clumping litter so it lasts a long time but I always push it because it kills me to clean it out.

So, I did the dirty deed of cat litter duty and proceeded to fuck up my lower back, resulting in a pinched nerve. The pain in my spine was minimal but my legs (mostly my left leg) began to fall asleep all the time, while I was standing or walking! If I was on my feet for too long, then it would start to burn like hell.

I went to see my NP, who is kind of on my shit list at the moment (more on that later), and she gave me a steroid injection. It helped tremendously but only for about 24 hours. She told me to come back for another injection, which helped but not as much as the first. I’ve been patiently waiting for the inflammation to go down. My NP said it may take some time and here I am still having issues with my left leg falling asleep. I will see her this week if I can get in. I’ve been putting it off.

My NP is a great person and she seems to know what she’s doing. She treats me like I’m human and not some reject from one of Rob Zombie’s horror flicks. She’s easy to talk to and seems to really care. My problem with her is that she lies on my records, or at least it appears that she lies. I’m not sure if the person transcribing my records has made the error or if my NP has truly lied. I went to the online patient portal to see my records from my last visit and I was truly shocked and pissed off at what I found. In my records she states, “patient declined weight loss medication,” “patient declined referral to dietitian/nutritionist,” “patient refused referral to orthopedist,” and “patient refused referral for pain management.” She also said when speaking of lymphedema therapy (as I had a few years ago), that I said “they can’t do anything more for me.” These things were all regarding my last visit and none are true! None of those things were ever offered and we never spoke of lymphedema at all since I had the therapy a few years ago. I mean, good grief!! Now I think I may have to find another provider but holy crap I have yet to see a doctor that I like and doesn’t 1) treat me like I’m stupid, 2) fat shame me, 3) act like he/she can’t be bothered with my questions, or 4) doesn’t do anything to help (probably because of my insurance). I’m up shit creek with no paddle to whack the hell out of anyone.

Other shit going on includes our kitchen sink drain being clogged. I have tried several different products and nothing works. We literally cannot use the kitchen sink because the drain won’t…DRAIN. Ugh. My son has other things going on and I guess we aren’t important enough for him to come help. Dad won’t call a fucking plumber and we can’t continue washing dishes in the bathroom because lugging the washtub full of dishes to the bathtub is a royal pain in the ass. Dad fell doing that and broke half the dishes we had just washed! We use paper plates when we can and that helps but this shit is getting old. Hell, it’s past old now. If I were able-bodied I would have gone out to the ditch with the auger and unplugged the damn drain myself a long time ago! Dad can’t do it any easier than I can because if he falls out there and can’t get up on his own, I can’t get out there to help him. He said he’s going to have to try, anyway.

Dad’s falls are becoming more frequent. He fell off the recumbent bike twice because he fell asleep while he was sitting on it. He wasn’t using it, just sitting. He hit the side of his eye on the handlebar and still has a black eye. That made 3 falls (including the dish-breaking incident) in just as many days. Two of those falls were in the same day.

We haven’t had hot water in the washing machine for over a month. The spigots got filled with debris (how the hell that happens, I don’t know) and my son replaced the cold water spigot but then the other wouldn’t work, so we had to get a replacement part for that. Dad said he could do that himself but he just got around to it yesterday. I now have hot water in the washing machine! Hot diggety damn! I haven’t washed kitchen towels, cleaning rags, or bath towels all this time because I needed the hot water. Good thing we have lots of towels and rags! Now I have a ton of washing to get caught up on. Ugh.

I’m trying to stay in good spirits…and the spirits in the alcohol cabinet are looking pretty good! Seriously though, it’s hard to stay positive, especially with my pain and mobility issues. The other problems would be easier to deal with without those issues. I’m told all the time how strong I am. I don’t feel very strong. In fact, I break down at least once a day. Still, I keep going. Who’s going to take care of Dad if I don’t? I thought that at this stage of my life, I’d have family around. Boy, was I wrong.

I Have To Get Out Of Here!

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I bumped into someone I know when I was out one day before Christmas. I had to stop at the Dollar Tree to get some Christmas gift bags, tissue paper, and a few household essentials. I hadn’t seen her since probably last Christmas, and it was also in the Dollar Tree. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me her husband had passed away just before Thanksgiving. I told her how sorry I was for her loss. Then after a brief conversation, I told her I’d love to visit with her but that maybe we could get together for lunch or coffee. I explained that right now I have to get done and get off my feet.

She knows of my pain and mobility issues, but she exclaimed, “What’s your hurry?” I’m in pain 24/7 and today is no exception. I told her my legs will not let me stand here and visit. I HAVE to get done and get out of here! I told her to have a Merry Christmas and I moved up the aisle with my shopping cart to finish my shopping.

She followed me. Good grief, I thought. She was right behind me, talking to me! I turned and responded to what she said and then trying not to be rude, I told her I had to go and that it was nice seeing her. I wanted to scream at her, but I didn’t especially want to attract attention from every shopper and worker in the store! Good grief!

She continued to follow me, talking the whole time. I responded to her but tried to finish my shopping. Dad came up the aisle and I asked him if he was done. He told me he was and I told my friend, “Goodbye! It was nice seeing you again!” We rushed up to the front of the store to check out. By then, my legs were on fire. I was desperate to get to the car so I could sit down.

I just can’t understand why some people don’t get it. I know they don’t know my pain, but when you tell someone you have to go and why, you’d think they would back the fuck off. I was trying not to be rude.

I guess the trick is…what? To be rude so you get the point across? I’ll remember that for next time.

Spit It Out, Will You??

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Last month, Dad and I went to the Health Department to get our updated Covid-19 vaccinations. Things went well. There was no delay in being called back. The ladies in the office and the nurses giving the vaccines were on top of things. We were ready to leave when Dad spies a sign that read, “Get Your Shingles Vaccine Today.” He and I both need to get it done so I inquired at the window. Another nurse was called up to the window to answer my inquiry. Her name was Becky and I assumed she would be competent. I assumed wrong!

First, she asked for our insurance cards to check if Shingrix was covered. It took her 40 minutes to come back and tell us that Dad’s would be covered but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. The way she spoke annoyed the crap out of me. It was like she needed a smack on the back of the head to spit it out. She was really trying my patience. (And I really don’t think it was a speech impediment because I heard her talking to one of the other nurses without trouble.)

Finally, after having to concentrate on what she was trying to say, I understood that the state-provided vaccine would be free for me. Okay, that’s great because I can’t afford $200 a pop…and there are 2 flippin’ vaccines 6 months apart! So, off Becky went to see about available appointments. Well, guess what? They didn’t have any state-provided Shingrix vaccines. Did she check to see when they would be getting more in? No. She had to go back and check. She came back and said she didn’t know when they would be getting more in but that I should check back periodically. She then said she would go back to see when they had available appointments for Dad. She should have done that already when she said was checking the first time! Then she came back and asked me to come to her office to see when a good time would be. Holy crap. Her desk was a disaster area! I don’t know how anyone could do their job with a desk in that condition!

Anyway, I made the appointment for Dad to get his first Shingrix vaccine. Becky told us again that the state-provided vaccine would be free but she didn’t know when they would get more in. She said she would try to find out and call me. After an hour and 20 minutes, we finally got out of that place! (The first 10 minutes were smooth sailing!)

Becky tried to call us several times in the following week. Dad answered the first time but she couldn’t speak up and spit it out so he hung up on her. (I assumed it was her, perhaps it wasn’t.) The next time she called I answered and after every 3 or 4 words she would stop and say, “Can you hear me?” I was getting so damn annoyed that I finally yelled, “Yes. I can hear you! What do you want?!” Then dial tone. She hung up on me. I hoped she wouldn’t call back. I told Dad if the phone rings again, don’t answer. Just let her leave a voicemail.

The following week, she called and we weren’t home so she had no choice but to leave a voicemail. She stuttered and stammered through the entire message and told me absolutely nothing that I didn’t already know! Her phone call was a waste of time. If I had been home to answer the phone, I would have told her that!

Things like that really get under my skin! I expected a nurse to tell me that we were or were not covered by our insurance, and then make appointments to get the vaccine. I expected to be told what I needed to know in a timely manner. Being disabled and in constant pain, I do not have the patience or energy for such bullshit.

I used to be a very patient person. Over the years, as my chronic pain and mobility issues advanced, my patience went out the window. I don’t like phone calls or incompetence. I loathe having to deal with people. I despise red tape and bureaucratic bullshit. We all have those things to contend with but I just can’t handle it anymore.

Never Again…

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It’s been a rough week. Physically and mentally. Draining. Not that busy mind you, but for my pain-laden body it’s been a bit too much.

On Tuesday, I had a curbside order to pick up and they must’ve had troubles that day because after I checked in, I had to wait for 20 minutes before they even acknowledged I was there. Then it was another 10 minutes before my groceries came out. No big deal really. I know shit happens. It’s just the waiting. I’ve never been good at waiting. On the way home I must have got behind every slow driver in the county! Good grief. I’m sure most of those people think it’s safer to drive slow – FOR THEM maybe, but not for other drivers. Other drivers, like me, will sometimes get impatient and pass in the wrong places. I have passed where it is not advisable but I only pass if can see far enough ahead that there is no oncoming traffic. I just hate getting behind someone doing 25-30 in a 55!! Anyway, I finally made it home only to have to unload the groceries I just picked up. Now my knees were killing me.

Wednesday began with me trying to figure out how I was going to get Alice to the vet for her yearly check-up and vaccinations without her hiding from me. Last month, she knew something was up because the carrier was out and she saw that I was getting ready to go somewhere. She hid under my bed so I took Jack to the vet instead. No big deal, but she had to go eventually. So, in order to trick her, I wore my sweatpants and I didn’t style my hair. Boy, did I feel like a slob! The carrier has been sitting out since last month so she was used to seeing it. She didn’t have a clue what was going on and she came right to me and I picked her up and put her in the carrier. Of course, she put up a little bit of a fight but I got her in there! She weighs 16 lbs. now and Dr. Missy gave her the dewormer I brought because I could never get pills down her throat. She would always gag them back up. Too expensive to waste them! I was able to deworm Jack and BobCat with no trouble. Anyway, that was the end of that but by the time I got home, I was exhausted.

Thursday was by far, the MOST aggravating day of the week! Dad and I had our appointment at the Health Department for the newest COVID-19 vaccine. That went pretty smoothly but then Dad saw the sign that read “Get Your Shingles Vaccine Today” and we both needed to get the shingles vaccine so I inquired at the window and a nurse took our insurance cards so we could set up an appointment, but my insurance won’t cover it and they are out of the state-provided vaccine (that would be free for me) so I have to go somewhere else. Dad has an appointment next month because his insurance covers the vaccine. After an hour of waiting and being informed of this and that, we were finally done and left. That’s when the fun started. Ha. I decided I wanted to pop into Walmart to pick up ONE thing and get some cash back. I haven’t been to Walmart in a couple of years! And maybe only twice since COVID-19 began. Luckily they had scooters available and I grabbed one with 100% power, if you can believe that! But the POS kept stopping as I was moving along. Do you know how irritating that is? Then as I was headed to the front of the store, some guy walked out in front of me as if I wasn’t even there! He didn’t even acknowledge what he did. I should have just ran into him instead of being the “nice guy” and stopping abruptly. After picking up more things than I really wanted, I was ready to check out and Dad was tired as hell. Check-out went smoothly. Afterward, we headed out the door but the fucking scooter decided to STOP again just as I was going through the doors. I had people behind me wanting out the door but the scooter wouldn’t budge. I was furious! And then to make me nearly come unhinged, a Walmart employee yells at me very loudly, “You have to use the controls!” I just about lost my shit! I yelled back, “I AM using the controls! How the hell do you think I got to this point? You moron!” I know. It was rude of me but geez, do these people think that disabled people are stupid or something? He could have assisted me since he was aware that I was having a problem but no, he just yelled at me. I was so painfully aware of people behind me wanting out the door and I was extremely frustrated. I told Dad to give me a push to see if the damn scooter would move and it still wouldn’t budge. Somehow, I did get out of the door and to the edge of the parking lot. I knew that if I tried to cross the lot to get to the car it was just going to stop again and I didn’t want to be stranded in the middle of the parking lot waiting to be run over! I asked Dad to grab the shopping basket that someone abandoned parked to my right. I got off of the scooter, loaded my stuff into the shopping basket, and Dad pushed the cart while I hobbled on my crutches to the car. I hope to never HAVE to go inside a Walmart again as long as I live!

I am so worn out today and in pain, too. My arm is sore as hell from the COVID-19 vaccine. I can barely walk and I still had to fix lunch. I also have laundry and other chores to do but you know what? It can all just sit and wait until I feel like doing it. On the bright side, I managed to finish my latest grandbaby’s baby blanket so I can send it home with my son today when he’s done working on the new house. I actually finished the blanket last night but I had to wash and dry it before giving it away! I’m adding a couple photos to this post. I don’t know how good they are since the lighting is shit in my house. The colors are Light Sage, Blue Spruce, Gray Mist, and Antique White, and are much brighter than the photos show! The lower left-hand corner looks a bit wonky but I just didn’t have it spread out properly.

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