Category Archives: Bad Days

Thursday… Birthday… Cookbook…

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Thursday, the day before my 62nd birthday. Yay. I feel like I’m 80. It would be nice to spend my birthday with my grandchildren and children. My daughter is in another state so I won’t be seeing her or her children for quite some time. My son? Well, he’s just 15 miles away and I never hear from him. He never even checks on us. His children do not know me and that makes me sad. I’m invisible. I’m expected to go see them. How can I do that when I can’t get up the steps to their house? My son knows this. It’s too hot to sit outside especially now that the a/c in the car bit the big one.

So, my birthday will be spent with Dad. We are going out for lunch but I’m not sure where since my favorite restaurant closed down permanently. I’m really bummed about that. I’ll miss the friendly servers and the manager. I’ll miss the avocado enchiladas and the chicken tortilla soup. Yes, I can probably find recipes to make these at home but 1) cooking is rough for a person who is disabled and 2) it won’t be the same. I would love to duplicate the broth of the soup and the green sauce that comes on the enchildadas. Damn, my mouth is watering.

I have a pinched nerve in my back, again. It sure plays hell on my legs. Sometimes they just burn like a mofo and I can’t do much of anything. Yesterday, I couldn’t even bend over to pick up something I had dropped on the floor. Some days are better than others. Some days I just want to jump off a cliff. But I keep on truckin’ because who’s going to look after Dad if I don’t?

Since my cookbook is finished, I thought I’d get back to writing but I didn’t have a very good start. I wrote once this week, twice counting today. I guess that’s something. I just need to figure out what to write about because I’m sure y’all don’t want to hear about my troubles all the time!

Speaking of my cookbook… Aunt Debbie’s Best. A Collection of Family Favorites. 184 recipes total. Spiral bound. $30.00 includes shipping. I tried to keep the price down but cost for printing was a bit more than I had anticipated. Things are so expensive these days. Personal checks and money orders only. A great gift for Christmas! Recipes include:

Spicy Chicken Bites
Corn and Black Bean Salsa Dip
Granny’s Banana Bread
Buffalo Pull Bread
Great Gramma’s Bierock
Sloppy Joes To Die For
Ham and Cheese Egg Muffins
Make Ahead Hashbrown Casserole
Homemade Ravioli
Stuffed Shells
Honey Garlic Chicken Breasts
Chicken Enchiladas
Stuffed Bell Peppers
Red Beans and Rice with Andouille Sausage
Aunt Debbie’s Loaded Potato Salad
Creamy Bacon Dressing
Aunt Debbie’s Italian Spaghetti Sauce
The Best Turkey Brine in the World!
Salsa Verde Chicken Soup
Chicken Tortilla Soup
Popcorn Cake
Russian Tea Cakes
Papas Fajitas
Spinach and Mushroom Pizza
Granny’s Pierogies
Stuffed Zucchini
Instant Pot Charro Beans
Instant Pot Lima Beans and Ham
Homemade Accent Seasoning
Koolaid Playdough
….and many more!
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Order your copy soon! You can use the contact page if you’re interested or you can email me at castlefreak62 @ yahoo.com and that would be with no spaces! I will then send you my mailing address. I have an issue with PayPal, Venmo and the like so I can only accept checks and money orders at this time. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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Signing off for now. I hope you have a great weekend. Stay cool, and please don’t leave your kids or pets in the car!
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El Sucktomento…As My Dad Would Say.

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So far, this year has sucked royally.

We suffered through over 30 days with a clogged kitchen sink. We couldn’t do dishes, rinse canned beans, wash produce, or even rinse our hands! We had to do everything that required water in the bathroom. Trust me, washing dishes is never my favorite thing but washing them in the little bathroom sink sucks balls! So does rinsing beans and veggies over the tub! I tried several different products to try and unclog the drain, and wasted time trying to plunge the damn thing. Dad finally gave in and called a plumber since my son, apparently doesn’t have time for us, and after a whole 30 minutes, our sink was unclogged! It was an expensive 30 minutes because the guy got lost and he was on the clock the whole time he was trying to find us. It cost us a little over $300 bucks! Ugh.

All was good after the sink was unclogged and I thought things could go back to normal. But no. Things would not go back to normal. Last Tuesday, I got ready for bed (I sleep in my power lift chair) and when I tried to recline the chair, the hand control wouldn’t work. I thought the cats might have stepped on the power strip and turned it off, or knocked the plug to the power strip out of the wall. Those things have happened before. I checked and nothing looked suspicious. I made sure the plug was all the way in, making a good connection. I sat back down, and the hand control worked so I proceeded to recline and get comfy for the night.

At 3:00am my bladder woke me up and when I tried to raise the chair to a sitting position, the hand control wouldn’t work again. I thought, boy am I screwed! I tried again and the chair started to move but it moved in the opposite direction I wanted it to go and wouldn’t stop! I had to wake Dad up with my emergency call button. He put a footstool under the footrest of the chair to keep it steady while I scooted off the damn chair! I was so damn mad. I mean, I haven’t been able to sleep in my bed for years because it caused me too much pain and now my chair is dead. Where the hell am I going to sleep? Where the hell am I going to sit to relax? I can’t sit in Dad’s recliner because it rocks. I can’t sit in any of the other chairs in the house because they rock, too. I’m stuck with my wheelchair. It’s the only chair I can get in and out of now. Ugh. Can things get any worse?

I’ve been sleeping in my bed, uncomfortably and painfully. It’s making my leg and back problems worse. I’m not sleeping well at all. New chairs are too expensive. I tried to find a used chair. That wasn’t going well either. My poor chair. It’s been good to me for about 5 years now. It was used and only $200. I think it’s given me $200 worth of comfort! But…

Yesterday, I got to thinking maybe it was the transformer that went out because that’s happened before. Last year, I bought an extra transformer (a universal one) so I switched it out to see if my chair would work. Nope. So that wasn’t the problem. I didn’t think it was but it was worth a try. I wanted to try that though before I bought a new hand controller. I found a universal hand controller on Amazon and ordered it. It will be here Friday and hopefully, it will solve my problem so I can sleep in my chair again!

Stay tuned to find out if my chair will be brought back to life!

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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The last 3 months have been awful. It all started just before Thanksgiving when I did a few chores to get ready for guests.

I’m not kidding myself about this crappy house. I know that no matter what I do, the house will still look like ass, as my sister would say. But there were a few things that needed to be done and if I don’t do it then who will? One of those things was the cat litter box that needed to be dumped, cleaned, disinfected, and refilled. I use clumping litter so it lasts a long time but I always push it because it kills me to clean it out.

So, I did the dirty deed of cat litter duty and proceeded to fuck up my lower back, resulting in a pinched nerve. The pain in my spine was minimal but my legs (mostly my left leg) began to fall asleep all the time, while I was standing or walking! If I was on my feet for too long, then it would start to burn like hell.

I went to see my NP, who is kind of on my shit list at the moment (more on that later), and she gave me a steroid injection. It helped tremendously but only for about 24 hours. She told me to come back for another injection, which helped but not as much as the first. I’ve been patiently waiting for the inflammation to go down. My NP said it may take some time and here I am still having issues with my left leg falling asleep. I will see her this week if I can get in. I’ve been putting it off.

My NP is a great person and she seems to know what she’s doing. She treats me like I’m human and not some reject from one of Rob Zombie’s horror flicks. She’s easy to talk to and seems to really care. My problem with her is that she lies on my records, or at least it appears that she lies. I’m not sure if the person transcribing my records has made the error or if my NP has truly lied. I went to the online patient portal to see my records from my last visit and I was truly shocked and pissed off at what I found. In my records she states, “patient declined weight loss medication,” “patient declined referral to dietitian/nutritionist,” “patient refused referral to orthopedist,” and “patient refused referral for pain management.” She also said when speaking of lymphedema therapy (as I had a few years ago), that I said “they can’t do anything more for me.” These things were all regarding my last visit and none are true! None of those things were ever offered and we never spoke of lymphedema at all since I had the therapy a few years ago. I mean, good grief!! Now I think I may have to find another provider but holy crap I have yet to see a doctor that I like and doesn’t 1) treat me like I’m stupid, 2) fat shame me, 3) act like he/she can’t be bothered with my questions, or 4) doesn’t do anything to help (probably because of my insurance). I’m up shit creek with no paddle to whack the hell out of anyone.

Other shit going on includes our kitchen sink drain being clogged. I have tried several different products and nothing works. We literally cannot use the kitchen sink because the drain won’t…DRAIN. Ugh. My son has other things going on and I guess we aren’t important enough for him to come help. Dad won’t call a fucking plumber and we can’t continue washing dishes in the bathroom because lugging the washtub full of dishes to the bathtub is a royal pain in the ass. Dad fell doing that and broke half the dishes we had just washed! We use paper plates when we can and that helps but this shit is getting old. Hell, it’s past old now. If I were able-bodied I would have gone out to the ditch with the auger and unplugged the damn drain myself a long time ago! Dad can’t do it any easier than I can because if he falls out there and can’t get up on his own, I can’t get out there to help him. He said he’s going to have to try, anyway.

Dad’s falls are becoming more frequent. He fell off the recumbent bike twice because he fell asleep while he was sitting on it. He wasn’t using it, just sitting. He hit the side of his eye on the handlebar and still has a black eye. That made 3 falls (including the dish-breaking incident) in just as many days. Two of those falls were in the same day.

We haven’t had hot water in the washing machine for over a month. The spigots got filled with debris (how the hell that happens, I don’t know) and my son replaced the cold water spigot but then the other wouldn’t work, so we had to get a replacement part for that. Dad said he could do that himself but he just got around to it yesterday. I now have hot water in the washing machine! Hot diggety damn! I haven’t washed kitchen towels, cleaning rags, or bath towels all this time because I needed the hot water. Good thing we have lots of towels and rags! Now I have a ton of washing to get caught up on. Ugh.

I’m trying to stay in good spirits…and the spirits in the alcohol cabinet are looking pretty good! Seriously though, it’s hard to stay positive, especially with my pain and mobility issues. The other problems would be easier to deal with without those issues. I’m told all the time how strong I am. I don’t feel very strong. In fact, I break down at least once a day. Still, I keep going. Who’s going to take care of Dad if I don’t? I thought that at this stage of my life, I’d have family around. Boy, was I wrong.

I Have To Get Out Of Here!

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I bumped into someone I know when I was out one day before Christmas. I had to stop at the Dollar Tree to get some Christmas gift bags, tissue paper, and a few household essentials. I hadn’t seen her since probably last Christmas, and it was also in the Dollar Tree. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me her husband had passed away just before Thanksgiving. I told her how sorry I was for her loss. Then after a brief conversation, I told her I’d love to visit with her but that maybe we could get together for lunch or coffee. I explained that right now I have to get done and get off my feet.

She knows of my pain and mobility issues, but she exclaimed, “What’s your hurry?” I’m in pain 24/7 and today is no exception. I told her my legs will not let me stand here and visit. I HAVE to get done and get out of here! I told her to have a Merry Christmas and I moved up the aisle with my shopping cart to finish my shopping.

She followed me. Good grief, I thought. She was right behind me, talking to me! I turned and responded to what she said and then trying not to be rude, I told her I had to go and that it was nice seeing her. I wanted to scream at her, but I didn’t especially want to attract attention from every shopper and worker in the store! Good grief!

She continued to follow me, talking the whole time. I responded to her but tried to finish my shopping. Dad came up the aisle and I asked him if he was done. He told me he was and I told my friend, “Goodbye! It was nice seeing you again!” We rushed up to the front of the store to check out. By then, my legs were on fire. I was desperate to get to the car so I could sit down.

I just can’t understand why some people don’t get it. I know they don’t know my pain, but when you tell someone you have to go and why, you’d think they would back the fuck off. I was trying not to be rude.

I guess the trick is…what? To be rude so you get the point across? I’ll remember that for next time.

Spit It Out, Will You??

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Last month, Dad and I went to the Health Department to get our updated Covid-19 vaccinations. Things went well. There was no delay in being called back. The ladies in the office and the nurses giving the vaccines were on top of things. We were ready to leave when Dad spies a sign that read, “Get Your Shingles Vaccine Today.” He and I both need to get it done so I inquired at the window. Another nurse was called up to the window to answer my inquiry. Her name was Becky and I assumed she would be competent. I assumed wrong!

First, she asked for our insurance cards to check if Shingrix was covered. It took her 40 minutes to come back and tell us that Dad’s would be covered but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. The way she spoke annoyed the crap out of me. It was like she needed a smack on the back of the head to spit it out. She was really trying my patience. (And I really don’t think it was a speech impediment because I heard her talking to one of the other nurses without trouble.)

Finally, after having to concentrate on what she was trying to say, I understood that the state-provided vaccine would be free for me. Okay, that’s great because I can’t afford $200 a pop…and there are 2 flippin’ vaccines 6 months apart! So, off Becky went to see about available appointments. Well, guess what? They didn’t have any state-provided Shingrix vaccines. Did she check to see when they would be getting more in? No. She had to go back and check. She came back and said she didn’t know when they would be getting more in but that I should check back periodically. She then said she would go back to see when they had available appointments for Dad. She should have done that already when she said was checking the first time! Then she came back and asked me to come to her office to see when a good time would be. Holy crap. Her desk was a disaster area! I don’t know how anyone could do their job with a desk in that condition!

Anyway, I made the appointment for Dad to get his first Shingrix vaccine. Becky told us again that the state-provided vaccine would be free but she didn’t know when they would get more in. She said she would try to find out and call me. After an hour and 20 minutes, we finally got out of that place! (The first 10 minutes were smooth sailing!)

Becky tried to call us several times in the following week. Dad answered the first time but she couldn’t speak up and spit it out so he hung up on her. (I assumed it was her, perhaps it wasn’t.) The next time she called I answered and after every 3 or 4 words she would stop and say, “Can you hear me?” I was getting so damn annoyed that I finally yelled, “Yes. I can hear you! What do you want?!” Then dial tone. She hung up on me. I hoped she wouldn’t call back. I told Dad if the phone rings again, don’t answer. Just let her leave a voicemail.

The following week, she called and we weren’t home so she had no choice but to leave a voicemail. She stuttered and stammered through the entire message and told me absolutely nothing that I didn’t already know! Her phone call was a waste of time. If I had been home to answer the phone, I would have told her that!

Things like that really get under my skin! I expected a nurse to tell me that we were or were not covered by our insurance, and then make appointments to get the vaccine. I expected to be told what I needed to know in a timely manner. Being disabled and in constant pain, I do not have the patience or energy for such bullshit.

I used to be a very patient person. Over the years, as my chronic pain and mobility issues advanced, my patience went out the window. I don’t like phone calls or incompetence. I loathe having to deal with people. I despise red tape and bureaucratic bullshit. We all have those things to contend with but I just can’t handle it anymore.