Have you ever known someone who didn’t like it when you cleaned something? For some odd reason, CP couldn’t stand it when I cleaned certain things. It could be just about anything and I suppose it was probably all based on the mood he was in.

One time, I had some free time for cleaning because my Day Care kids were on Spring vacation with their families. I was sick and tired of looking at the pile of pennies on the top of CP’s dresser so I decided to put them in a big green vase that was sitting there empty serving no purpose. I dusted the dresser top and put his stupid little knick-knacks (a key, a carabiner, a rusty bolt, a button) back where they were. His brush and comb were put back in exactly the same spot they were, as well. But those blasted pennies – a huge mound of them – were in the big green vase. CP practically had a freakin’ meltdown. “What’s wrong with where they were?” he asked. “What’s wrong with them being in the vase?” I retorted. “I just don’t understand why it was necessary,” he complained. I said, “And I don’t understand what your aversion to things being clean is.” He didn’t speak to me for hours. He pouted and sat outside drinking beer like a big ol’ cry baby.

It was always something. He could have a problem with how I cleaned something or when I cleaned something. It could be the laundry or the kitchen floor. It could be just about anything! One of the things he used to say was, “Why clean it? It’s just going to get dirtied up again.” Really. I guess I should have never cleaned the toilet since it was just going to get dirtied up again. Dumb ass.

Another time, I decided to take the fans apart and clean the blades. He came home from wherever the hell he was before I had finished. You’d think I was doing something wrong by the way he acted. “What are you doing?” he asked. I said, “I’m cleaning the blades.” What I wanted to say was, “What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” I didn’t because that would have made it an even bigger issue. He asked, “Why are you cleaning the blades?” I said, “Because they’re dirty!” “Cleaning them isn’t going to make them work any better,” he insisted. I said, “Yes, they will. The weight of all the crud stuck on the blades has to have an effect on how well they work,” I explained. I was always having to explain myself to him. I went on, “And they look better if they’re clean!” He just grinned at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “They aren’t going to work better, Deb.” I was pissed now because he was patronizing me. I asked him, “Do you have something against things being clean?” He started to speak but I was angry so I cut him off. “If you do then I won’t clean anything in this house ever again and if you don’t then I’d advise you to just let me do whatever the hell I want because it’s not hurting you one damn bit!” By then I had the last fan put back together and I left the room to put it back in the bedroom.

Too bad we didn’t have the internet and Google back then. I would have gladly looked it up and shown him that, according to Bob Vila, “the fan grill and blades can suck in and amass a fair amount of dirt and dust, making your fan work less efficiently. Regular cleaning of your oscillating fan with inexpensive supplies is the best way to keep microscopic intruders at bay and keep your fan operating in peak condition.” But isn’t it just common sense??

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