The Ex-Files – Cleaning It Won’t Make It Work Better

Have you ever known someone who didn’t like it when you cleaned something? For some odd reason, CP couldn’t stand it when I cleaned certain things. It could be just about anything and I suppose it was probably all based on the mood he was in.

One time, I had some free time for cleaning because my Day Care kids were on Spring vacation with their families. I was sick and tired of looking at the pile of pennies on the top of CP’s dresser so I decided to put them in a big green vase that was sitting there empty serving no purpose. I dusted the dresser top and put his stupid little knick-knacks (a key, a carabiner, a rusty bolt, a button) back where they were. His brush and comb were put back in exactly the same spot they were, as well. But those blasted pennies – a huge mound of them – were in the big green vase. CP practically had a freakin’ meltdown. “What’s wrong with where they were?” he asked. “What’s wrong with them being in the vase?” I retorted. “I just don’t understand why it was necessary,” he complained. I said, “And I don’t understand what your aversion to things being clean is.” He didn’t speak to me for hours. He pouted and sat outside drinking beer like a big ol’ cry baby.

It was always something. He could have a problem with how I cleaned something or when I cleaned something. It could be the laundry or the kitchen floor. It could be just about anything! One of the things he used to say was, “Why clean it? It’s just going to get dirtied up again.” Really. I guess I should have never cleaned the toilet since it was just going to get dirtied up again. Dumb ass.

Another time, I decided to take the fans apart and clean the blades. He came home from wherever the hell he was before I had finished. You’d think I was doing something wrong by the way he acted. “What are you doing?” he asked. I said, “I’m cleaning the blades.” What I wanted to say was, “What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” I didn’t because that would have made it an even bigger issue. He asked, “Why are you cleaning the blades?” I said, “Because they’re dirty!” “Cleaning them isn’t going to make them work any better,” he insisted. I said, “Yes, they will. The weight of all the crud stuck on the blades has to have an effect on how well they work,” I explained. I was always having to explain myself to him. I went on, “And they look better if they’re clean!” He just grinned at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “They aren’t going to work better, Deb.” I was pissed now because he was patronizing me. I asked him, “Do you have something against things being clean?” He started to speak but I was angry so I cut him off. “If you do then I won’t clean anything in this house ever again and if you don’t then I’d advise you to just let me do whatever the hell I want because it’s not hurting you one damn bit!” By then I had the last fan put back together and I left the room to put it back in the bedroom.

Too bad we didn’t have the internet and Google back then. I would have gladly looked it up and shown him that, according to Bob Vila, “the fan grill and blades can suck in and amass a fair amount of dirt and dust, making your fan work less efficiently. Regular cleaning of your oscillating fan with inexpensive supplies is the best way to keep microscopic intruders at bay and keep your fan operating in peak condition.” But isn’t it just common sense??

gray round floor fan

Photo by Public Domain Pictures on

8 thoughts on “The Ex-Files – Cleaning It Won’t Make It Work Better

  1. Oh man, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. We must have been married to the same prick! My ex would tell me the same thing, especially about the ceiling and window fans. One day I came home from work and he had an entire car engine in OUR LIVING ROOM!!!

    It was on a engine mount, and on the floor (so the carpet wouldn’t get dirty) he had one of the bed sheet A CLEAN BED SHEET SO THE FLOOR SO HE WOULDN’T DIRTY THE CARPET!!! I was furious and all the mofo could say “So you’d rather me get the carpet dirty?” And I yelled “No, I’d rather you fix this shit out in the garage where it’s suppose to be!” He told me I over exaggerated and I went to be and I was still fuming. The next day was a Saturday and I thought to myself, I’m going to wash my car.

    What did I do? I took his best dress shirt and leather jacket and washed and dried my car with them. When he got home he saw me and started yelling and telling me why I would use his stuff to wash my car and all I replied “What? Would you rather me get the concrete wet?” As I stood there with my nice shiny car, he was fuming and I yelled at him to get the engine out of the living room. He did, and I put back his stuff in the closet half ruined and still wet, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    • OMG! My ex brought an engine into our apartment, and put it in the middle of the living room! Then when I bitched he put it in the closet, so then all of my clothing smelled like car engine! He finally sold it or something. Jethus Cwithe! Men are such dumb fucks 💩 and looks like we did have the same ex! At least your ex put something under the engine to protect the carpet! Mine didn’t. He said it was cleaned before he brought it in. I love your solution. Wish I had thought of it! 😂😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

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