Spider Guts and A Special Delivery

It was Monday morning. I was limping along like an old lady who just got her ass kicked by a kangaroo. I headed out of my bedroom and stopped dead in my tracks. My biggest fear (ok, not biggest but one of them) was right before me, headed in my direction. Slowly (and I mean slowly because I’m old and crippled…and the kangaroo, remember?) I reached for my handy flyswatter. I took aim and gave that blasted spider a smack!

I must’ve smacked him just right (or wrong) because spider guts spattered me in the face! I’m so thankful I was wearing my glasses! Ewwww! All I could do is yell, “Oh, my Gawd! Oh my Gawd!” I also yelled, “That’s never EVER happened before!” Thankfully, I have a box of tissues handy and grabbed one. I start wiping off my left cheek, which took the spatter. How the hell does that even happen? I was standing up, granted I’m not very tall, but I’m still 5’2″ and waaaaay bigger than that freakin’ spider…and seriously it wasn’t even that big of a spider!! Dad comes through about then and says, “What the heck did you do?” I told him and he says, “What are the odds of that happening?” I respond, “I know, right?”

I was so grossed out by the spider guts, as anyone would be I think, that my mind kept coming back to the incident. Even after washing my face with soap and water, rinsing my hair and changing my clothes, I was still freaked out. Hours later, it was still popping up in my brain. Just stop, Deb. You washed your face. The gut-spitting spider is dead and gone. It will never happen again. That didn’t really help any…great Goddess please help me forget this horrible incident!!

I was soon to forget about the entire thing because just after lunch Dad went out for the mail and brought in a package addressed to me. It was from my good friend, TheHuntress915. She made my day and helped me to forget about spider guts! I was now focused on reading, Mexican hot chocolate, and trying on my new t-shirt, which was part of an effort to raise money for the victims of the mass shooting on Aug. 3, 2019.


As I sat down to write something in my blog tonight, my mind was completely blank, as it has been for the past couple of weeks. But then I remembered my special delivery and those blasted spider guts! Now, I’ll go shower, put on my new shirt and sit down to read my book a little. I’d make some hot chocolate but the milk is sour! Ewww!

Spiders, Ick!


I have a (possibly irrational) fear of spiders. Any kind of spider. ALL spiders! They give me the heebie-jeebies. My son used to tease me by touching them, knowing it would not only make my skin crawl but it would also make me feel nauseated. Just the sight of the above photo makes me shiver! Weird, right?

I check my bed every night before I go to bed. I check the sides of the bed. I check the walls and the floor in my bedroom. I shake my clothes and bang my shoes on the floor before I put them on. If I feel a tickle on my skin, the first thing that comes to mind is that a spider is crawling on me. IF a spider really is crawling on me, you would see me doing the “OMFG get it off me” dance and I would be freaked out for the rest of the day!

If I see a spider right before going to bed at night, all I can think about as I lay in the dark is that there’s a spider coming down the wall, or there’s one crawling up the side of my bed. I know it sounds absolutely nuts, but I can’t help it!

I was bitten by a Brown Recluse several years ago, not once. Not twice, but 3 damn times! I made the mistake of not checking my sweater before I put it on and it took 3 times before I realized I was being bitten. It felt like a “nerve tickle” and didn’t hurt. I was freaked out for weeks after that! Thankfully, I didn’t suffer any adverse effects from the bites. They say some folks are immune to the venom of the Brown Recluse. (Yes, I went to the doctor!)

I was up until 3 am one time a few years ago, just trying to get a spider. I saw him in the kitchen on my way through. He scampered across the floor and went right into my bedroom, and under my dresser! That fucker had to go! No way could I go to bed with him in there. Now, just so you know this was NOT a small spider! This creepy bastard was the size of the palm of my hand. If I let him get away, there’s no telling where he might turn up! I grabbed my broom and my handy spider spray. I had to move the dresser and I managed to spray him, which slowed him down considerably. It took hours, but I finally got him and still didn’t get any sleep that night!

When I was working as a Medication Technician at a nursing home in the 90’s, a huge spider came running out from under the snack machine in the hall. Someone had placed a plastic cup over it and called the charge nurse to get rid of it. Since this was late at night, the maintenance crew was gone. They normally took care of the icky stuff for us. The charge nurse picked up the plastic cup, thinking she was going to smash it or something but that spider took off running so fast she couldn’t get it. What did it do? It came right towards me! I let out a blood-curdling scream that woke several residents from their slumber and I ran like hell!

I know, I’m such a baby!

When I wonder why I’m so terrified of spiders, my mind always goes to the story my mother told me many years ago. She said that one day when I was small, I was playing outside on our driveway, just outside the kitchen. Mom told me that she caught me trying to pull a black widow spider out of a crack in the cement and she hollered at me to stop. She said I had been afraid of spiders ever since. I don’t remember the incident so I don’t know what she yelled, but I often wonder what she actually said to get me to leave the spider alone? Could that be the reason I’m ready to crawl out of my skin upon seeing a spider?

Give me snakes, cicadas, grasshoppers, beetles, rats, mice….cockroaches even! Just keep the damn spiders away from me!

What are you afraid of? Do you feel that it’s irrational? Do people laugh at you? I know a guy who is afraid of butterflies and moths. Go figure. Too bad I couldn’t trade fears with him.

Throwback Thursday

The worst thing about living out in the country and one of my biggest fears is SPIDERS! I always look forward to Winter because the spiders hide out in some hole or crevice somewhere. That way I don’t see them. I don’t have to check my shoes or sweaters for spiders. I’m not constantly on the look-out for them, and I don’t have to check every little tickle I feel….

Here’s an old post from 2008 about those nasty little 8-legged freaks! Thanks for reading and please be sure to comment! I’d love to hear from you.

10 Spiders

The Snakes Crawl In, The Snakes Crawl Out

After spending about an hour on the computer yesterday afternoon, I decided it was time for a break. As I walked out of the bedroom, I noticed the long black, snake-like tail of something across the floor just in front of the door. For a split second I thought to myself, “Damn toys.” I almost reached down, grabbed it and threw it out from the middle of the floor. Then it dawned on me. My grandson has a bright green rubber snake, not a black one! I called out, “Dad, I think we have a snake in the house!” He says, “Really? Where?” I told him and as he came to look, the snake started moving. It slithered across the shelves by the washing machine and then went behind it.

Great. It’s not bad enough this snake found a way into the house but now he’s under the dang washing machine. I wasn’t worried that it was a poisonous snake. I was pretty sure it was just a black rat snake. We’ve had them before around the yard near the house so we figured he came from under the house. No wonder we haven’t heard mice in the wall for quite some time. They are good for that, you know. What the cats don’t catch, the snakes do! I wondered, how will we get him out of the house? I texted my son and told him we needed help. Dad tried to chase the snake out, but it wasn’t cooperating. My son finally showed up and the two of them tried to persuade that poor snake to come out so C.F. could capture it and put it outside. [We don’t kill things like half the other people that live out here in the country. Seems like if it moves rednecks want to kill it, no matter what it is!]

Of course, my grandson was curious and wanted to see what was going on. He came in to watch and pretty soon that snake slithered out from under the washing machine and headed towards D.M.! I wasn’t in the room at the time, but S.R. said he wasn’t too thrilled about that snake coming toward him so she snatched him up and got him out of the line of fire. Turns out, the snake was just headed towards the hole that he came in from. We plugged up the hole, hopefully keeping snakes and other critters….spiders….from coming in.

Snakes don’t really bother me much as long as I know it’s there. I wasn’t too thrilled about this guy being in the house though, wondering if it would crawl into bed with me some night or slither out from under the couch and scare the daylights out of someone! I didn’t want him to get so hungry he would go after the ferret either! Of course, if a snake slithered into the ferret cage and managed to eat the ferret, it would then be too fat to get out of the cage! I’m sure that the ferret would put up one heck of a fight too.

So, the snake slithered in and then it slithered back out. No harm, no foul, and it lived happily ever after.

10 Spiders…..

The spiders are coming in the house from every nook and cranny they can find! They must not like the rain! It makes sense. When it rains I come inside too.

I don’t like to kill things but I take exception to flys, fleas, ticks and SPIDERS. Actually, if the spiders stay outside where they belong then I leave them alone. If they come inside MY domain, they are taking their lives into their own hands….feet, legs, whatever.

Last night, every time I turned around there was a stinkin’ spider! I don’t know what kind they were. We call them “chipmunk spiders” only because of the brown stripes they have on their backs that reminds of us of the stripes and coloring of a chipmink. Silly huh?

It started in the morning. Before I could even shower I had to rid the bathtub of, not one but 2 chipmink spiders. Later in the day, there was one crawling up my bedroom door and I know what he was doing! He was going to hide in my room, that’s what he was going to do! S.R. sucked one up in the vacuum tube when she was cleaning her room. Dad was getting ready for bed last night around 10 pm and he found one in the bathroom sink. Then, 4 of those creepy little things, one right after the other, in the living room! Then, right before I went to bed I was spooked by one scampering across the kitchen floor. He must’ve seen what I had done to his other 8-legged friends. Didn’t do much good to run away. Did he really think I was going to go to bed with him still running around in MY domain?

I was afraid to go to bed – were there more of those chipmunk spiders in my house? In my room? I couldn’t sleep for a little while – kept thinking there was something crawling on me. When I finally did fall asleep, I dreamed about Sebastian Bach making fun of Angelina Jolie. He had fake teeth in his mouth and he was doing this thing with his lips. He looked just like her, only with blond hair! Now, why on Earth would I dream something so silly? Beats spiders though. I’m not gonna bitch.