Crossed Wires

The other night, Dad and I were outside walking towards the house. I heard him say something and turned to ask him what he said. He repeated it.

“Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?” He asked.

“What?” I replied because I didn’t understand what he just said.

He repeated himself with more emphasis. “Do you want me to scrape the house for the pancakes?”

Again, I replied but with a little unbelief in my voice, “WHAT? Dad that doesn’t make any sense.”

He was getting angry now. “Oh, Goddammit,” he said with a raised voice.

“Sorry, Dad. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I replied. I was thinking our wires must be crossed, as they say.

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He repeated the same thing again, except this time he used hand motions to convey his message. “Do you want me to scrape (hands motioning like a window cleaner cleaning a window with a squeegee) the house for the pancakes (motioning his hands as if he was bouncing a ball)?

Now I was thinking does he have full-blown Alzheimer’s or is it me? Do I have dementia? Good grief!

About that time I woke up and thought to myself, thank the heavens it was just a dream!

Dream a Little Dream of…..

Do you ever have strange dreams? Do you ever wonder where the heck that came from?

Oh boy. I have some strange dreams and I have mentioned a few in my blog. Usually, they make me laugh because they’re ridiculous as heck. I think the strangest dreams I have are those I have while napping in the middle of the day. I have no clue why.

Yesterday, I was a bit sleepy because I got up earlier than normal. So, I decided to take a nap. I fell asleep quickly…which is more than I can say for bedtime. It takes me hours to fall asleep at night. I don’t know why. While I napped, I dreamed that my kids were still small and my daughter had a little friend over. When the girl’s mother came to pick her up, she immediately went to my daughter’s room to get her child ready to go. The woman stopped to look at magazine photos on my daughter’s bedroom wall, of basketball players of all things. I don’t know why basketball players as my daughter was never into sports or sports figures. Anyway, the woman looked appalled and I immediately quipped, “Is there a problem?” The woman grabbed her child and said, “Let’s go!” As she went out the door, I hollered at the woman, “At least they weren’t holding their d*cks!” OMG. I have no idea where that came from because I have more class than that! But it was just a dream, so no big deal.

Next, it seemed like I went directly into another, non-related dream. I was driving a minivan, carrying 2 or 3 passengers in the back seats. I don’t even own a minivan, nor have I ever driven one. We were traveling on a 4-lane road, which was divided into 2 one-way sections. Where I should have been in one of the lanes on the right side, I was on the left….but I was going the correct direction. The road was quite busy, with very fast-paced traffic. All of a sudden, another vehicle came straight for me, with police cars on his tail. Sirens were screaming! But since the vehicle being chased was going in the opposite direction as everyone else, he was unable to move his way through. The traffic was too thick. (Not sure why there weren’t multiple car crashes, but it’s just a dream after all.) As the criminal tried to get away, I decided to be heroic and I wedged his vehicle between mine and the police cars. The man looked at me, got out of his car and started to point a gun at me! I yelled at everyone else in the vehicle to get down, and we all ducked down as quickly as we could. The police were able to stop the man from shooting at us, and before long a police officer was telling us to keep moving. I remember before I woke up thinking, “Where’s my thank you?? I helped you apprehend this guy, you ungrateful pigs!”

Not even 20 minutes later, I was watching the local news. There was a report of a minivan traveling on the wrong side of the highway and a crash resulted in the death of another driver. I got goosebumps all over my body. I had just dreamed that I was driving a minivan, but I wasn’t the one going the wrong direction, the other car was.

Where did this dream come from? Why was it so similar to the report on the news just a few minutes later?

Strange, very strange indeed.

Things That Give Me The Creeps!

After reading another blogger’s post of the things that give her the “heebie-jeebies” I was inspired to make a list of my own. There are many things that creep me out and some may be just plain silly to some but nonetheless, they still creep me out! Please feel free to comment but be nice because you wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. Ha. Just kidding. Fire away.

(These are in no particular order; I type as they come to me.)

1. Spiders. Any kind, shape or size. Poisonous or non-poisonous. Hair or no hair. 8 legs or missing a leg or 2. Doesn’t matter. They scare the crap out of me.

2. Chainsaws. I hate the sound of a chainsaw. I get the creeps at the mere mention of a chainsaw. In fact, in my house we refer to a chainsaw as a CS. I think this fear of the CS is due to that good ol’ original movie “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I took my sister to see it in the theater when she was in the 5th grade, which made me about a sophomore in high school. To this day my sister LOVES horror movies. I, on the other hand, DO NOT.

3. Maggots. The dreaded “M” word. Yep, we call it the “M” word in my house. I hate them. They are disgusting and just the thought makes me want to hurl. This stems from seeing some awful things with the “M” word that I do not wish to write about.

4. A certain Rock Star by the name of Steven Tyler. When I was in the 5th grade I started buying my own records (yes, they were records back then) and I frequently shopped at a little store called The Music Box in my home town of Lodi, CA. I would flip through the records to see if there was anything of interest to me and the very first time I saw Steven Tyler’s face on an Aerosmith album cover I wanted to run out of the store screaming! Don’t know why. To this day he still gives me the creeps. I cannot look at him. If his face pops up on tv I look away as quickly as I can. I just can’t do it. I had a dream not too long ago, with Steven Tyler in it. I couldn’t even look at him in my dream. I kept covering my eyes! How weird is that? I don’t think I’ve taken a good look at the guy since I was in the 5th grade.

5. People with crossed eyes, a lazy eye – or crooked headlights as my dad calls them. It’s so difficult to tell if they’re looking at me! Holy smokes. Just creepy. (I mean no disrespect towards anyone who suffers from an eye problem.)

6. The sound of bones crushing or breaking, blood gushing, heads or other body parts coming off….. Back to the horror movies….. Geez, they need to leave a little to the imagination in my opinion. When I see the CS, I know that something is coming off and I don’t need to see it fly off to get the idea.

7. Dwarfs, midgets. They just give me the creeps for some reason. Nothing against the little people, really. I knew a father and son, both little people and they were very nice.

8. The thought of being buried alive, trapped in a water-submersed vehicle or in a burning building with no escape. What a horrific way to die.

9. Bridges…swinging foot bridges, high bridges over deep water, narrow bridges, bridges longer than 100 feet or so. I have a recurring nightmare, not too often anymore, about being on a long, high bridge that’s over deep, rising water. In the dream I get half way across the bridge and then I turn around and around again. Suddenly the water is all around me and I’m left standing on the one dry part of the bridge and I have nowhere to go. I’m sure the reason for this dream and my fear of bridges stems from me not being able to swim. This leads to my next item.

10. Deep water in which I cannot see or feel the bottom. I want to see what’s under there. I want to have my feet planted on the ground. You just never know what’s under there lurking….

To Be Continued….possibly.