Category Archives: Random Memories

The Ex-Files – Father’s Day Brunch

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When my daughter started Kindergarten, I was thrilled because she was lucky enough to have been placed in the class with the best teacher she could have had. Her name was Mrs. Hummel if I remember correctly. She was fantastic! She showed a genuine love for the kids and made every day a day full of fun and a lot of learning! SR was excited to go to school every single day!

In May that year, Mrs. Hummel arranged a fabulous Mother’s Day Tea Party and all the kids made special invitations for their moms. SR was so excited about it, that’s all she could talk about. All the kids made their moms paper mache wide-brimmed hats with pretty pink paper and artificial flowers adorned each one. We had tea and cake and the kids sang songs and gave their moms special cards for Mother’s Day. It was a beautiful day of appreciation. I still have that pink, wide-brimmed hat, too! I packed it carefully in a big box and had it shipped to Missouri when we left California.

In June, the kids (with the help of that wonderful Mrs. Hummel) planned a Father’s Day Brunch for all their fathers. I knew what was going to happen however and didn’t look forward to the event, not one little bit. The kids decorated ball caps with fabric paint. Honestly, I don’t recall much about that day except that it did not turn out as it should have.

SR was excited for her “Pop” to come to her classroom for the Father’s Day Brunch. I had made sure to tell CP about it and marked it on the calendar. Of course, he said, “I may not be able to get off work.” And I told him, “That’s why I’m telling your 3 weeks in advance. That way you can request the day off. SR is so excited about it and you need to make sure you go.” He said he would try and then went off to work. Every 4 days or so, I reminded CP about the Father’s Day Brunch. He ignored me as if I was annoying him or nagging him. It was important but he didn’t give a shit, obviously.

CP never said anything about getting the day off. I stopped mentioning it because I knew no matter what he wasn’t going to show up. The morning of the brunch, SR was jumping up and down and just couldn’t contain her excitement. I felt awful for her. I walked her to school and pulled Mrs. Hummel to the side and told her that if SR’s father didn’t show up, and if SR wanted to, to please have her call me and I would come to fill in. I didn’t want her to feel bad and be the only one there without someone. Just as I expected, I got a phone call and I headed off to the school.

I was so angry and hurt for my daughter that day. She didn’t seem to mind that it was mom and not Pop there that day. But I minded. He should have at least tried. After all that, my daughter still wanted her Pop to have the ball cap she made for him.

I was so angry, I didn’t speak to him for days, but I doubt he even noticed. What kind of a loser lets his child down like that? A rat bastard, that’s the kind.

The Ex-Files – You Can’t Cut Noodles In A Bowl!

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It had been an extremely busy day! I was running a Day Care in our home so that I could pay the rent and put food on the table. Since CP wasn’t working I really had no choice. He was too good to go out and find a job, any job, to keep our heads above water. He was resigned to sitting and waiting for his last employer to call him back to work. He had been laid off for months! Landlords want to be paid. Kids need to be fed. What the hell is wrong with this man?

On this particular day, I had 7 kids altogether, two of them were my own. I was taking care of kids ranging from 8 months old to 5 years. I wasn’t just babysitting. I ran my Day Care like a preschool. We had planned activities throughout each day. I didn’t want the kids getting bored and I wanted them to go home having learned something and ready to tell their moms what they did at Debbie’s house that day. I didn’t want them just sitting in front of the tv all day.

The last kid was picked up at 5:00pm and that was my time to prepare dinner for my family. CP came home around 5:30pm and normally I had dinner on the table at just the right time. If he decided to eat, that is. More than half the time he just went to bed. There was never any conversation or interaction between me and CP or he and the kids. His job was finished, so ended his responsibilities for the day.

This day, however, he showered and actually sat down to have dinner with us. It wasn’t anything fancy. Grilled cheese sandwiches and ramen noodles, simple and filling. My daughter was about 5 and my son, 2. They were hungry from playing and socializing all day. I always got my son’s food ready first because he was smaller and just couldn’t wait as long as my daughter. I gave him 1/2 a sandwich and a bowl of ramen that I had let cool and cut into shorter pieces. Those noodles could be quite long and hard for little kids to eat.

My daughter was anxious for her food, but her sandwich was still in the pan. The ramen noodles were done so I scooped her up a helping. I sat it on the table near CP and asked him if he could please cut her noodles for her. His answer was remarkably stupid and I’ll never forget it. He said, “You can’t cut noodles in a bowl!” I asked, “Why the hell not?” He just looked at me and pushed the bowl over to our daughter. I was pissed. I grabbed a fork and a table knife and marched over to the table. I proceeded to cut the noodles as if I were cutting a steak. Then I moved the noodles around and repeated the same thing. I said to CP, “That’s how you cut noodles in a bowl. You’d think I could get just a little help from time to time because as you can smell, I’ve just burned SR’s sandwich.” I gave him the burned sandwich and started a new one for SR.

He ate his burned sandwich and as we’ve established in the last posting of The Ex Files, he was too big of a coward to say or do anything. Oh, except pout. He pouted while he ate and then he went to bed. Goodnight, asshole.

The Ex-Files – Cowardice

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The last few months with my ex were a bit stressful but my baby sister was there. She and her son, a baby at the time, needed a place to stay. I don’t recall the situation that led to that need, but she moved in with us. CP didn’t have a problem with it. I figured I could help her and she could help me. It was nice having another adult to talk to. Heaven knows CP wasn’t adult enough to fill that need.

I had enjoyed those first few months of my nephew’s life. I was there when he was born and I felt very close to my sister and to him. When we moved, I hated leaving her behind. She was still living there and I thought CP would at least be polite and kind to her. She wouldn’t be in his way, after all. He would be working most of the day and would possibly not even see her at all. What was to happen still pisses me off to this day and proves exactly the coward that man was and probably still is.

Not too long after we left, my sister had been out for the day and when she got home she couldn’t get the front door open. The key turned, the door unlocked but something was causing it not to open. She pushed and the door budged just enough to find that all of her belongings were stacked in front of the door. Apparently, CP had come home, found her gone, and proceeded to pack all of her stuff and block the door with it.

Not only did he not have the balls to ask her to move out, he never once took into consideration the baby he would be making homeless! My sister had packed a diaper bag when she left the house that day but she had planned to be home that evening so there was no need to bring all of the diapers, all of the baby food, or blankets, or extra clothing, etc. She needed those things! How dare he block the door to prevent her from getting in! There she was, stuck with none of the things necessary to take care of a baby.

I knew CP was a jerk but I never realized how big a coward he was until that night. If he was too chicken to speak to her in person, he could have left her a note telling her that she needed to find another place to live. It would have been better than what he did! Thankfully, my sister was able to rely on the baby’s other grandmother, and she eventually retrieved her things from the house.

What gets me is, how the hell did he think she was going to move out if all of her belongings were preventing her from entering the house? Not only was CP a coward but he was a real dumbass, too!

The Grass Is Always Greener…

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I’m a city girl, or I used to be anyway. I was born and raised in California and spent my childhood from age 6 in a busy, but not too populated town called Lodi. I think the population back then was around 30,000. By the time I left, in 1992, it had grown to around 75,000 people. It must be well over 100,000 by now.

Even though I was raised in a city, I learned where milk, eggs, steak, bacon, and fried chicken came from. Some kids don’t learn that, believe it or not. Anyway, I left that wonderful little city and so many great memories behind – also some not-so-great memories with the ex – and moved to southwest Missouri to be with my Dad. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I had never lived in that part of the country before or in such a rural location, and was never around farm animals.

Our house sits on 20 acres or so, with neighbors who are at least 1/4 mile away. (I love that about being here!!) The neighbors have cows on their property that borders ours. There are cows across the road much of the year. There are cows right to the left of us, too. You can hear cows giving birth and you can hear them mooing their damn-fool heads off at various times of the day. I’ve grown used to it after about 25 years!

But in the beginning, I thought how the hell am I supposed to get used to this? One morning, a mooing woke me up around 8am. I remember thinking it was awfully loud. In fact, it sounded like it was right outside my bedroom window. I just figured I was so fast asleep and it was so quiet that the sudden noise sounded much closer than it was.

I was wrong. I rolled over and opened my eyes. My eyes caught a movement by the window and to my surprise, I caught the rear end of a cow as it waltzed by. It let out another loud moo. See, it sounded close because it WAS close! I jumped out of bed and ran to the front door. There were several cows in our beautifully groomed yard. Now there was cow shit and big hoof marks in the damp lawn. Great, just great. I woke Dad up and he called the neighbors to let them know their bovine had just escaped. Apparently, they seized the opportunity to eat OUR grass, because it was greener!

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Image Credit Pixabay

We got dressed quickly and went outside to make sure these silly beef patties would stay in the yard and not get slaughtered in the busy road. The neighbors came quickly and started calling for their roast beasts to come to them. The cows knew the voice of their owners because each cow went toward the gate where our neighbors were calling from. That is, except one cow. It started to follow the others but as soon as it saw its owner, it turned around and ran. Just so happens I was right behind that giant meatloaf! It looked me in the eye as it ran toward me and being a city girl, all I could think to do was RUN! I thought, Sweet Jesus I hope I can outrun a cow! I ran like the devil was after me!

The neighbors laughed, and even though I was embarrassed, I laughed too! In my defense, how was I supposed to know what that silly cow was going to do?

Throwback Thursday

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Today, I ran across quite an amusing memory from a few years ago on my Facebook feed. I thought I’d share it because it gave me a hardy chuckle. I hope you do, too!

Today, I took Dad to see his urologist for his annual check-up. He was called back fairly quickly, leaving me to read a magazine in the waiting room. While I was thumbing through articles, an older man came in and announced his arrival to the receptionist. He then asked, “Where’s the bathroom?” The receptionist replies, “We are going to need a urine sample from you today.” He says to her, “Well, I’ll just give you my underwear.” It caught me off guard and I laughed out loud. It was the funniest thing I have heard in a long time! The receptionist tells the man, “Since I really don’t want to wring out your underwear, I’ll take you back right now.” Gosh, the things you hear when you leave the house!!!

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