Category Archives: Family/Friends

The Road of Aggravation

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Yesterday was rough. By the end of the day I was ready to pull my hair out. It all started after lunch when Dad said he needed income tax forms printed up soon so he could get his taxes filed. Ok, no problem, right? You’d think it couldn’t be that difficult. I’ll tell you it was. It went something like this:

Dad: “I need tax forms printed up soon. When you get around to it, no rush.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to know which forms.”

Dad: “The federal short form and the state short form.”

Me: “But which ones? There are a lot of forms. If you bring me last year’s forms I’ll have something to go by.” (I don’t remember which forms he had last year and I’d like to know exactly which forms because they’re easier to find!)

Dad: “The 1040, I think. But the short form, not the long form because that damn thing is 50 pages long!” (He gets up to get last year’s forms.)

Thinking this would be an easy peasy task, I go to the kitchen table where the laptop is. I notice he has brought me 2020s forms.

Me: “These aren’t last year’s forms.”

Dad: “Those are the forms I need. Last year I filed the long form. I don’t want the long form.”

I immediately found the federal 1040-SR short form. I bookmarked it so I could go back to it when I had everything needed to print them. I can’t find the short form he needs for the state, which was 1040P. After 30 minutes I’m getting aggravated because I still can’t find the short form, only the long. I thought I found it but it was for the wrong year – and come to find out, that ‘P‘ form had been discontinued. That was why he had to file the long form last year. Now I find the 1040 long form. 50 pages it was not!  I told him that according to what I was reading in the instruction booklet (another half an hour wasted) he needed the Pension Credit form and the Property Tax Credit form.

Dad: “I don’t need those. I never file them.”

Me: “Why not?”

Dad: “I don’t owe them anything so I don’t worry about it.”

Me: “You may not owe them anything but maybe they would owe you.”

Dad: “I’m not going to mess with it.”

Me: I roll my eyes and bookmark the long file.

Now, you’d think printing the files would be easier than trying to find them, right? Nope. I thought I had the printer on my laptop already because months ago, my desktop pc took a dump. I figured I’d need the printer on the laptop eventually, so I hooked it up. The laptop told me printer ready to print or something to that effect. I didn’t have anything to print then but I thought it would be ready when I needed it. I thought wrong. When I went to print the forms, the printer wasn’t communicating with the laptop. Crapola. So, I dug out the disk to install the printer. That should have been easy, too. Nope. I was ready to throw the damn printer out the window and be done with it. It kept telling me that the printer needed to be connected to the laptop via USB and turned on. Grrr…. I unplugged both and plugged them back in. I clicked continue. It just didn’t want to crapperate, as my son used to say when he was a kid. I tried numerous times. I even started the installation process again…and again. My entire afternoon was wasted on this activity that should have taken 30 minutes tops.

Me: “Dad, you’re going to have to go to the library to get your forms.” (I explained the trouble I was having.)

Dad: “I’ll have to have H&R Block do them because the library isn’t open.”

Me: “Well, I know the library isn’t open right now but next time we go to town we can stop by.”

Dad: “The library hasn’t been open since everything was shut down for Covid.”

Me: “Things haven’t been closed down for quite some time, Dad.”

Dad: “The last time we stopped by there, they were closed.”

Me: “I can’t even remember the last time we went by there. It had to have been before Covid or maybe in the beginning of Covid.”

Dad: “I’m telling you it’s still closed.”

Me: Rolling my eyes now. Grrr… I can’t seem to tell him anything so I drop it. I say, “Well, regardless. I still can’t print the forms. You’ll have to get them somewhere else.”

So, after 3 hours of messing with this situation, I decide I need to de-stress because I’m ready to pull out my hair at this point. Anyway, I sit down at the kitchen table and get my diamond painting kit. I turn on my current audiobook and start to work. 5 minutes later:

Dad: “I need a book on a shelf in the cat room but I’m afraid to get up on the chair without someone there to help steady me.”

Me: “Ok.” I turn off my audiobook and get up.

We go into the cat room to get his books. The only reason any books are in there is because Dad’s bedroom had to be vacated due to mold. We moved everything out, including him. So, I get behind him and steady him while he gets up on the chair. I would have done it myself if I didn’t have mobility issues. There’s an old dresser right under the shelf where I keep food and water for BobCat, because he needs safe place to eat where he won’t get beat up by Jack. Anyway, I move the food bowl to the left so Dad wouldn’t spill it. I knew he would need room to put a couple of books so he could get to the ones he wanted. What does he do? He spills the damn bowl of food anyway. All of a sudden cat food went flying into the air and went everywhere.

Me: “Damn it, Dad. I moved that bowl over so you wouldn’t spill it.”

Dad: “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”

Me: “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Now Jack and BobCat are eating food off the floor and under our feet. Ugh. I carefully steady Dad as he steps off the chair. “Now go sit down with your books and relax a bit.”

Dad: “Sorry you have a mess to clean up now.”

Me: “It’s ok. Jack and BobCat will help.” I do my best to pick up cat food that scattered everywhere and I leave it until the next cleaning. The least I can do is leave a little food for the mice.

It was getting close to 7pm and I had been on the Road of Aggravation since 2pm! Now I was able to de-stress and have a little bite to eat. Dad made himself a pb&j sandwich and we both sat down to relax, finally.

Marbles

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A couple of weeks ago, I went with my best friend to an appointment. I hate leaving Dad alone these days, but bestie needed moral support and I left Dad with his food to take at lunch and something easy to pop in the microwave. I left instructions on how to feed the cats if I wasn’t home by 4pm. I made sure he had his phone on so I could text him a couple of times. I showed him how to type a text message, assuring him that I wouldn’t send a text that required more than a simple “Ok.”

To my first text, when bestie and I arrived at the medical facility, he responded, “Takecare.” Then just a few minutes later, he called me. There I was, sitting in the middle of a crowded waiting room and he calls me, ugh. He asked me if I had received his text response. I told him, yes and then he informed me that he didn’t know if he did it right because I forgot to show him how to send the text. Oopsie. “My bad,” says I. “You figured it out though!”

Then, he shocked the hell out of me and I’m sure my jaw dropped. He asked me, “Who am I talking to?” My heart skipped a beat. I was too far away from him at that instant to be able to protect him from…himself. I was so worried! I told him, “This is your daughter, Debbie.” He replied, “Ok. You sounded like one of your sisters.” Boy, was I relieved he hadn’t lost his marbles! I told him I was trying to talk softly because I was in the middle of the waiting room. He said, “Oh.” A minute later, we ended the call.

You can see below what a time he has texting!

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I’m thankful he can still be left alone on occasion. I’m thankful that he can still take care of himself for the most part. I still worry that he will fall. The last fall he had was last July and it was a pretty bad one. He fell on his face and sprained his arm. His nose was not only bleeding inside but it was split down the center and was bleeding everywhere! He was so worried about the carpet! “Get a rag. Hurry!” he kept saying over and over. I wasn’t worried about the damn carpet! I have a pet stain removal product that works wonders on blood and EVERY stain I’ve encountered so far! Our carpet is the same ol’ mess it was prior to his fall. It really needs replacing…

Anyway, he recovered from that after a couple of days. The next time could be worse, so I worry. Fingers crossed there won’t be a next time.

Sleep Walking

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Have you ever walked in your sleep? I have never…but my daughter did in her pre-teen and early teen years.

She would get up after a couple of hours of sleep, while I was still up watching tv. She always had a glassy-eyed look on her face and was in what seemed to be zombie mode. She would just walk into the living room and plop down beside me on the couch as if everything was perfectly normal. I’d say to her, “Are you ok?” No reply. Just a glassy-eyed stare and weird smile. This continues for several minutes.

“Are you hungry?” No reply. Just a glassy-eyed stare and weird smile.

“Do you feel ok?” No reply. Just a glassy-eyed stare and weird smile.

“Did you have a bad dream?” No reply. Just a glassy-eyed stare and weird smile.

“Do you have to pee?” No reply. Just a glassy-eyed stare and weird smile.

I tell her, “Get up and GO PEE!” She gets up to go to the bathroom. When she comes back she goes immediately to her room. As she passes, I say, “Goodnight.” She replies, “Goodnight.”

When asked about it the next morning, she’d never remember.

Do you have any funny sleepwalking stories? I’d love to hear them!

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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It’s been quite a long time since I’ve sat down to write. It’s difficult with lack of sleep and when things aren’t going so well. I haven’t been on social media much lately because the bullshit infuriates me. Between the misinformation and the hypocrisy, I don’t know whether to shit or go blind, as my Granny used to say. 

I’ve been watching my Dad’s health decline over the last few months and it’s ripping my heart out. Inevitably, I will lose him so I am making the best of the time I have left to love and appreciate him. His memory is failing him and he’s been having some health issues. He’s finding it more difficult to understand simple things. Thankfully, he hasn’t had a fall since July…knock on wood. He’s a bit unstable at times when walking but manages to keep himself upright with the aid of a cane. I’m finding myself watching him like a hawk, trying to do so without making it obvious. It’s been a rough couple of months because as you know, I have my own health issues; chronic pain and mobility issues always make things more difficult for me. Dad’s not able to help me with little things around the house like he used to and I have no other help. I just take things one day at a time.

Someone asked me the other day, “What will you do when you have to live alone?” “I’m not afraid to live alone,” I explained. “I’m afraid of being forgotten. Forgotten by family and friends. Left behind. Most of my family is in Tennessee and I’m in Missouri. My son is less than 15 miles away and I don’t hear from him very often.” I don’t relish the thought of living here without my Dad but I don’t have a problem living alone. The memories will haunt me, I’m sure.

I’m really trying to hold things together here, and I know I need to write more. I try. I think about something I’d like to write about and then…I just don’t do it. I just don’t have the motivation but I’m trying to get it back. I keep saying that and maybe it will snap back into place sooner than later!

I am enjoying the cooler weather, now that Fall is here. Sweater weather is my favorite weather of all! I just pray that the winter we have coming won’t be like the last! 

Until next time, 

Aunt Debbie