Tag Archives: pain

Trouble With Nerves

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It’s been a rough year but most especially the last 6 months. From personal drama to health issues…what’s coming in 2024? I don’t even want to know.

The last 2 months have been difficult beginning with the week before Thanksgiving. I did some chores (because who’s gonna do them if I don’t?) and I overdid it. It doesn’t take much for me to overdo things, but I normally snap back in a couple of days. This time, I didn’t. It started with what I thought was the arthritis taking over my pelvic bone. Then, my left leg kept falling asleep on me. Not while I was sitting, mind you. I can be standing or walking and all of a sudden my leg will fall asleep. If I am on my feet for too long (10 or 15 minutes is sometimes too long) my left leg will start to burn. Just BURN like hell. I also noticed my left leg was swelling up near my knee. I thought surely I had a pinched nerve. Finally, I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Ok, not a doctor but my Nurse Practitioner.

My NP spent nearly 2 hours with me trying to pinpoint the problem. I have never had any doctor spend that kind of time with me for any reason! I explained the problem I was having and she asked a lot of questions and poked and prodded my lower spine. and came to the conclusion that I have inflamed nerves in my lower spine where it meets the pelvic bone. She gave me a steroid injection which helped tremendously for about 24 hours and then some of the pain and discomfort came back. I received a second steroid injection a few days later. It helped a little but not as much as I had hoped.

She put me on a more mild diuretic than Lasix which I was taking as needed. I hated taking the Lasix because I spent too much time in the bathroom and I didn’t want to kill my kidneys. The new diuretic (hydrochlorothiazide or HCTZ) seems to be helping with the swelling. It’s not enough that I have to wear compression sleeves on my lower legs to prevent swelling, now I have to deal with this new area swelling up. Ugh.

I’m still having issues with the inflamed nerves but my NP said it may take some time. I’m trying to be patient. I haven’t experienced a lot of that burning sensation since the injections so I feel like it IS getting better. Weather permitting, I will go see my NP again next week. I was going to go this week but why do today when you can put off until tomorrow? Haha.

I really like my NP and her nurse is spectacular, too! I just hate going because I don’t want her to send me to some jerk doctor who won’t do anything but make me feel worse. They always seem to think they have to TELL me I’m overweight as if I don’t know. I want to say to them, “Hey asshole. I know I’m fat. I don’t need you to tell me that!” I wouldn’t be so much overweight if I had received proper medical care in the beginning. Then maybe I’d have been able to continue my daily exercise of walking (or some form of exercise like my recumbent bike) to keep my weight down. Maybe I’d have my knee replacements by now, too!

Ugh. Anyway, that’s what’s what in my neck of the woods. We’ll be getting snow soon. I don’t mind that as long as we have what we need and don’t need to leave the house. Another excuse not to go to the doctor. Haha.

Toodles, my friends!

Not So Much…

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Daily writing prompt
How often do you walk or run?
View all responses

I used to walk a mile or more almost every single day. When I started having problems with my legs my doctor was no help. I still tried to walk. It seemed like it made my legs worse and since I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought walking might be making it worse so I stopped walking altogether.

Fast forward about 5 years I finally got a diagnosis of severe arthritis and bone-on-bone damage in my knees. If I had found out sooner I could have delayed this condition I’m in at the moment. For the last 13 years, I’ve been dealing with mobility issues and pain.

I wish I could walk…without crutches…without pain.

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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So many things, so little time. Actually, I have time but I don’t have the motivation.

Dad’s been having issues. Constipation, for one. I tell him to drink more water, eat fruit, eat some veggies, take a laxative of some kind every night, take a stool softener….ugh. It takes a specialist in gastroenterology to tell him the same things before he gets it. I feel like it’s my fault that he’s having digestive issues because I just can’t stand in the kitchen and cook like I used to. I have to rely on frozen meals and quick Instant Pot or Crock Pot recipes; things that go together quickly. I don’t buy much fresh produce because I can’t eat it all myself. He won’t touch it. If I’m making myself a salad, he doesn’t want one. If he’s not very hungry at dinner time, I offer him an apple. He declines. He has cookies instead. You get the idea.

I picked up a curbside order on Friday and was beat afterward. I just can’t believe how exhausted I am from doing something so simple. I’m sorry I didn’t post Friday’s Funnies but I was just too tired. I am determined to make sure Dad gets the fiber he needs, whether he likes it or not, so I made sure to get lots of fresh fruit and veggies. I also bought some chops and cheap steaks, chicken breasts, potatoes, and some canned and dried fruit. I spent the entire day Saturday washing produce, vacuum sealing meats and corn on the cob. I blanched the corn first, vacuum-sealed it, and tossed it in the freezer. Very simple things but I was exhausted. I took lots of breaks. My knees were killing me! Since we went out for pizza after picking up our curbside order, I only had enough energy to pop the leftovers in the microwave for lunch. I ate mine cold. Yummo.

Saturday night was hell. I was in so much pain, all I could do was lay in my reclining lift chair. My back hurt so bad I couldn’t even think straight. Sunday, wasn’t as bad but I had aches and pains in places that I forgot I had. I’m still in a bit of pain this morning but my pain is almost down to the level it usually is.

Anyway, about Dad’s issues. His memory is failing. He stumbles quite often, thankfully though he hasn’t hit the floor in quite some time. He’s not helping as much around the house like he used to. For example, every night he would get the coffee maker ready for morning but lately, he has just completely forgotten about it. I don’t mind doing it but this is happening a lot with other things and I just can’t do it all myself. He used to sweep the floor when he saw it needed to be swept. He used to swish the toilet when he saw it was dirty. He used to get stuff out of the washing machine automatically and put clothes in the dryer. Now I have to ask him to do it. I’m too short and the washing machine drum is too deep. I just can’t reach! It’s getting worse and worse and my own pain and mobility issues are quite enough for me to handle. I just don’t know what I’m going to do when Dad needs more care than I can provide.

My family’s (sisters and daughter) solution is that we move to Tennessee so they can help us. Dad won’t move but even if he wanted to, how in the hell am I supposed to pack shit up and get ready to move when I can’t even wash produce without it killing me? Dad can’t help much. How am I supposed to drive 5 hours in a car that I can barely get in and out of? Too many loose ends to deal with. What would I do with my furbabies? What about my son? If I moved away, then he wouldn’t have any of his family near him. At least my sisters and my daughter all have each other in Tennessee. Where would we live? I’m not living with my daughter or my sisters. They already have their hands full with who knows how many dogs and cats! Too crowded for me. Also, our property and everything on it is paid for. Why the hell would I want to start all over? No, thank you. I guess since I can’t get family to step up, I’ll have to kill myself trying to take care of Dad. Ugh.

I have put my own health on the back burner for the past 6 years or so. I have not pursued knee replacement surgery since the last orthopedic doc told me I had to lose more weight first. Since then, Dad has become more frail and I can’t leave him home alone. How the hell am I supposed to have surgery when I can’t leave him alone? I never thought I’d be in this predicament. There’s no one to help – I’m in this alone. And I’m tired…oh so tired.

I started this blog many years ago. I think it was around 2008 and I started it to have a place to vent, to get things off my chest. I’m really glad I still have it because it helps to vent. I thank you for reading – whether you’ve been following me since the beginning or have just started, I thank you very much.

Peace, my friends.

aunt-debbie

Stress, Pain, and Loneliness

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I’ve been extremely stressed this past week. I don’t know whether I’m comin’ or goin’, as they say. If you’ve been reading my blog then you know I struggle with pain and mobility issues and that I am looking after my 86 year old Dad. I seriously need a break.

There seems to always be some kind of disagreement, or friction between Dad and I. He always remembers things differently than I do. I’m not sayng he’s always wrong; sometimes he is right. There’s always something he doesn’t understand, or something he forgets, and once in a while he forgets HOW to do something. He’s very unsteady on his feet and he hasn’t fallen in quite some time but I feel like I can’t leave him home alone for longer than it takes me to see my NP for a script renewal. I should get a nanny cam so I can keep an eye on him just so I can go have lunch with a friend once in a while. I can’t even remember the last time I was out without Dad.

Anyway, it wouldn’t be so stressful if I had some help. All of my family is in Tennessee and I am NOT moving to TN! My son is 15 miles from us. Yes, you read that right. He is 15 miles from us and I have not heard from him in just over 2 months. I’ve not seen him since Christmas and he hasn’t even bothered to text me. I know he’s busy with his own family and his own life but it only takes a few seconds to type out a quick “how are you?” once in a while. I don’t think I’ve been this hurt in a long time. Dad asked me if I had texted him in the last couple of months. No, I have not. When I do text the boy, it takes him sometimes days before he responds. Why would I even bother?

It’s a seriously lonely time in my life. Anyone who is responsible for looking after an elderly parent will feel the same way. It is lonely and stressful to carry it all by yourself. God forbid if Dad is ever diagnosed with dementia. He’s not that bad yet. He has his moments but mostly he knows what’s going on and basically takes care of himself. He just needs to be watched and reminded of certain things. I signed on for this but at the time, I had no way of knowing that I would be disabled and struggling myself come show time.

So, what do I do? I bitch a little, cry a little, and then I suck it up. I do what I have to do and in the evenings just to destress I do jigsaw puzzles, diamond paintings, blogging and journaling. I’ve taken on a new hobby: paint-by-number! A friend suggested it and I thought I’d be so clumsy I’d have paint all over the place but so far, so good! I’m thinking of latch hook and embroidery, too! While I do those things to destress, I listen to my audiobooks. I like the fictional detective/police/PI stories the best. I’ve ‘read’ some very entertaining/engrossing stories! It keeps my mind busy with something besides my troubles.

It’s time for me to get moving. It will take me a couple of hours to cook something for lunch (it sucks being disabled) and if I don’t fix something Dad won’t eat. Today on the menu: Chicken Fajita Salad Bowls. Wish me luck and thanks for reading my blog!

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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Well, let me tell you. PAIN.

Last week, I called in my prescription medications. I was waiting for my NP to approve one script that had no more refills and then I was going to call Walmart and have them ship my meds as I normally do.

Stupid me didn’t realize I was nearly out of my pain medication! That was late Friday. I started to panic because we were expecting snow on Saturday. I couldn’t go out and pick up my meds in person because I didn’t know how much snow we would actually get. I called Walmart yesterday to have them ship; they will go out today.

I had 2 pain pills left, one to be taken every 12 hours. So, I’ve had to ration. I took one Saturday night and my pain level wasn’t too bad. I saved my last one for tonight. I only took Tylenol Arthritis last night and my pain level is UP. With any luck, FedEx will come tomorrow! Usually, they’re pretty quick.

Then, I began to panic again because my daughter mentioned MLK Day and wondered if FedEx would even run today! I googled it and apparently, FedEx and UPS both will run, while the USPS observes the holiday.

The sun is out, trying to melt the snow and the road looks pretty good, but I’d probably get stuck in the yard if I tried to get the car out. (We don’t have a traditional driveway.) It’s 44 degrees at the moment but it seems much colder when there’s snow on the ground.

Wish me luck. I can’t function well with no pain meds to dull the pain.

P.S. Don’t think that I am an addict because I am not. There’s a difference between addiction and dependency. I am dependent on pain meds to be able to function. There is no euphoria involved. I have to make that clarification because “a friend” had accused me of being a drug addict some time ago. That person is no longer in my circle.