It was Monday morning. I was limping along like an old lady who just got her ass kicked by a kangaroo. I headed out of my bedroom and stopped dead in my tracks. My biggest fear (ok, not biggest but one of them) was right before me, headed in my direction. Slowly (and I mean slowly because I’m old and crippled…and the kangaroo, remember?) I reached for my handy flyswatter. I took aim and gave that blasted spider a smack!

I must’ve smacked him just right (or wrong) because spider guts spattered me in the face! I’m so thankful I was wearing my glasses! Ewwww! All I could do is yell, “Oh, my Gawd! Oh my Gawd!” I also yelled, “That’s never EVER happened before!” Thankfully, I have a box of tissues handy and grabbed one. I start wiping off my left cheek, which took the spatter. How the hell does that even happen? I was standing up, granted I’m not very tall, but I’m still 5’2″ and waaaaay bigger than that freakin’ spider…and seriously it wasn’t even that big of a spider!! Dad comes through about then and says, “What the heck did you do?” I told him and he says, “What are the odds of that happening?” I respond, “I know, right?”

I was so grossed out by the spider guts, as anyone would be I think, that my mind kept coming back to the incident. Even after washing my face with soap and water, rinsing my hair and changing my clothes, I was still freaked out. Hours later, it was still popping up in my brain. Just stop, Deb. You washed your face. The gut-spitting spider is dead and gone. It will never happen again. That didn’t really help any…great Goddess please help me forget this horrible incident!!

I was soon to forget about the entire thing because just after lunch Dad went out for the mail and brought in a package addressed to me. It was from my good friend, TheHuntress915. She made my day and helped me to forget about spider guts! I was now focused on reading, Mexican hot chocolate, and trying on my new t-shirt, which was part of an effort to raise money for the victims of the mass shooting on Aug. 3, 2019.

As I sat down to write something in my blog tonight, my mind was completely blank, as it has been for the past couple of weeks. But then I remembered my special delivery and those blasted spider guts! Now, I’ll go shower, put on my new shirt and sit down to read my book a little. I’d make some hot chocolate but the milk is sour! Ewww!