Earworm – Real World

Last Saturday, Dad and I were out for our normal supplies run and we stopped at our favorite Mexican restaurant. They used to play Mexican music but for some reason, they now play pop music. Oh, well that’s ok. At least it’s not country music.

Anyway, this song comes on and I love the song, but it has been stuck in my head since Saturday! I wake up with it playing in my head. I go to bed with it playing in my head. The lyrics that resonate with me the most are, “I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.”

The shit going on the real world right now is causing me so much anxiety. I’m not freaking out about COVID-19 but I am concerned. I’m mostly concerned for my Dad, who’s 83 years old. He still wants to go out on Saturdays. We will go out again this Saturday, but I told him when this thing is more widespread across our state, (only 2 cases, so far) then we WILL be staying home. In addition to that, I’m having to jump through hoops to get my pain meds refilled. I know people who rely on narcotic pain meds to function and they have to jump through hoops BUT mine are not narcotics. I’m not sleeping well due to my pain level being extraordinarily high and I’m running out of my meds! Now I have to see a new FNP because the one I had been seeing left the clinic. Holy crap.

I know the meaning of this song is more than that one line, but that one line is what resonates with me in the here and now.

Thanks for following Being Aunt Debbie!

Spike – A Novel (Chapter 13)

Chapter 13

Spike was about 3 miles east of the Johnston’s house. He wasn’t going to go back there but he was hungry so he was on the hunt for food. He would either catch a rodent or if he was lucky, some nice human would set a dish of food out for him.

Spike soon spied a small blue house where several kids were playing. Most were older boys, playing ball in the street. Older kids could be mean, especially boys. Spike was about to slip behind the row of houses and travel the drainage ditch to the next neighborhood when he saw a little boy playing by himself between the little blue house and the yellow one to the right. He noticed the boy was eating something so he went to investigate.

The boy was very young, maybe around 3 years old, and Spike noticed a human watching from the kitchen window, just above where the boy was playing. Spike watched until the human walked away and then approached the boy. He was eating cheese and crackers and Spike loved cheese! The boy reached out for Spike when he saw him. Spike sat next to the boy, waiting for a bite of cheese but the boy just wanted to pat him on the head. This was unacceptable to Spike!

Spike bit the boy’s arm but quickly let go. It was just a nudge to get the boy to give him a bite. “Owie,” cried the boy. He smiled at Spike with a puzzled face. He liked cats but he didn’t understand why the cat bit him. The boy, wanting to be friends with the Spike, reached his arm out with a piece of cheese in his hand. “Here kitty-cot,” said the boy handing Spike the bite of cheese. Spike took the cheese gently from the boy’s fingers. He didn’t want to hurt the boy if he was sharing his cheese.

Spike wanted more cheese and the boy wouldn’t oblige. Spike cocked his ears back, ready to give the boy another snap with his teeth when the boy handed him his plastic plate with the rest of his cheese and crackers. The boy’s human came out of the house about that time and Spike grabbed as many pieces of cheese off the plate as he could fit in his mouth and ran! He knew from experience that many humans didn’t like cats.

In the bushes near the drainage ditch, Spike stopped to eat his cheese. As he ate the last little bit he heard a rustling in the bushes. Investigation proved to be a tiny mouse that was so small it was hardly worth the effort but Spike was still hungry. He snuck up on the tiny mouse, caught it quickly and devoured it, leaving the gut behind, before moving on to the next neighborhood.

After a short walk, Spike ventured over to a house that had a familiar scent. There was another cat, a white fluffy female. Spike was interested. Not only was he interested in the female but if the humans in this house had a cat then maybe they wouldn’t mind setting out a little extra food for one more.

A man came out of the house, calling for his cat. “Fluffy, where are you?” He saw Spike and said, “Aww, poor kitty. Are you homeless?” The man was of small stature and he walked with a limp. He looked old and tired, but he didn’t yell at him with a raised fist so Spike knew he was a nice human. The man sat out a bowl with some milk for Spike while he searched for Fluffy.

Spike looked at the bowl of milk, wondering where the cheerios were. Elizabeth always gave him cheerios in milk. Spike didn’t mind too much and he lapped up the milk quickly. He thought of Elizabeth and missed her. He knew he’d never see her again.

The Ex-Files – Tomato Soup

Back in the early days with CP, I had to learn quickly how to stretch a dollar. We were poor; sometimes having only $50 for food for the entire month! Prices were much lower back then but it was still tight. I became very frugal and many people were amazed at how good I was at stretching each and every dollar.

Normally, I made soups and stews from scratch. Big batches. It was the best way to stretch meat and veggies to feed us for more than one meal. I sometimes purchased canned soup, but I made sure it was on sale and/or the store brand. Tomato soup was a favorite lunch when CP was home and not working, and he was home a LOT, but that’s another post.

food chef kitchen soup

Photo by Timur Saglambilek on Pexels.com

One day CP was in a mood. I could always tell by the look on his face and/or his body language. I had served up some tomato soup and crackers for lunch. CP decided halfway through that the soup wasn’t good enough. He said, “I don’t know what brand this is but it doesn’t taste right.” I said, “It’s the same brand we’ve been eating for months. It’s the store brand.” He said, “Well, stop buying it. Buy Campbell’s. It’s much better.” I just rolled my eyes, and said, “Ok, whatever.”

So months later, we had soup again. Campbell’s Tomato Soup. Just as he requested/demanded. It had been a while since we had it because of CP’s demands and me wanting to stretch our budget. I had to make sure I got it on sale because it was Campbell’s. It could sometimes be found on sale at 3 or 4 cans for $1.00 back then, so that’s what I waited for. I served up the soup for lunch and then…

CP was in another one of his damn moods. Half-way through lunch, he gets pissy and I wondered what the hell it was going to be this time. Wait for it…

appetizer bowls cream creamy

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

All of a sudden, he blurts out, “I thought I asked you to buy Campbell’s and not the cheap stuff?” I looked up from my soup and said, “It IS Campbell’s soup!” He looked at me like I was lying through my teeth. “It is not. This tastes like shit like the last time,” he bitched. I got up, went to the trash, and pulled out the empty can of tomato soup. I brought it over to CP and slammed it down on the table. “It IS Campbell’s!! AS I TOLD YOU!” I was pissed and I let him know I was pissed. He didn’t have the balls to say anything else, other than, “Well, they sure don’t make it like they used to.”

And that was the end of me buying Campbell’s soup unless it was on sale and IF I wanted to buy it. It was also the end of him bitching about what brand I bought…of anything.

Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week

This week has been much better than the last, pain wise. Last week, my brain was so scrambled from intense pain that I totally forgot about Friday’s Funnies. When I finally remembered, it was Monday. Gasp!

I’ll start this week’s funnies by adding something to what I call Shit My Dad Says.

Two days ago, Dad went out to the mailbox for the mail. He came back in and says, “You’ve got something here from Jake.” I say, Jake? Jake who?” Dad says “Jake! Jake, from State Farm.” I laughed until I snorted. It was a letter from State Farm! 

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If you don’t know what Jake’s connection is to State Farm, then check out the original commercial below. Then please enjoy the rest of this week’s funnies!

 

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My 3rd Place favorite this week:

 

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The next two tie for 2nd Place!

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Are you ready for 1st Place??

 

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Big SNORT! That groundhog is my spirit animal! Which were your faves this week? I hope you got a few laughs, maybe even a couple snorts! You just can’t go through life with a snort now and then!

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends! Have a few laughs (and adult beverages) and for goodness sake, don’t forget to wash your hands!

Ta ta for now, my friends!

Aunt Debbie

Spike – A Novel (Chapter 12)

Chapter 12

It was a bright, sunny day. It seemed to Bob Keller that the weather should be dark and gloomy considering the event of the previous night. He was standing at the doorstep of Mr. and Mrs. Keller, Jeffrey’s parents. He rang the bell and the door was quickly answered by Clare.

“Hello, Bob! What a nice surprise! Come in, please. What can we do for you?” she asked, as she and Bob walked toward the kitchen where Bill was having his morning coffee. “I’m afraid you’ve caught me at a bad time, Bob. I’m on my way out but I’m sure Bill would love to chat with you. It’s been so long!”

“Yes, it has. Clare, you may want to stay for a moment,” Bob declared. He couldn’t help but notice her figure. He had always been attracted to her and was a bit embarrassed having noticed her in this way right in front of her husband. “Bill, Clare, is Jeffrey home? I need to speak to him as well.”

“Of course! He just got home about an hour ago.” Bill went to the staircase and called up to Jeff. “Yeah?” Jeff answered his Dad and quickly added, “I’ll be right there, Dad!” Bill came back to the kitchen. “He’ll be down in a minute, Bob. He has a few classes off today so it’s perfect timing.” Bill hesitated but then asked Bob, “Has Jeffrey done something wrong?”

“Oh, heaven’s no! He’s not in any trouble. This is about someone else’s trouble, I’m afraid.” As he finished his sentence, Jeffrey came downstairs.

“Hey, Mr. Keller. What’s up?” Jeff asked. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong himself but he suspected that his friend Gabe had done something. Gabe was always getting into trouble. His home life wasn’t pleasant so he was always hanging around in places and with people he shouldn’t. He was in school most of the time because at least there he was away from his alcoholic mother and abusive father. When school was out, Gabe hung out with older guys who drank and smoked pot. They always had some scheme planned and Gabe always wanted in on the action. He had been busted by Bob several times and his father always got him out of any consequences, however, the consequences his father dished out were far worse than juvenile detention. Unfortunately, Gabe’s shenanigans were not on Bob’s mind this morning.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news.” Bob hated giving bad news, especially this kind of bad news. He hesitated and then spit it out. “Last night a young woman was killed by a wild animal down by the lake.” He went on to tell the Scotts about Elizabeth and then he turned to Jeff. “Jeff, I’m very sorry. I know you and Elizabeth were close. Mr. Johnston said you had proposed to her just last night, is that correct?” Bob asked. “Yeah, I did. I love…loved her so much.” His voice trembled. He sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar. “Her father threw me out of the house and I waited for Elizabeth to call me but she never did.” Bob then asked, “Do you know what time it was when Mr. Johnston threw you out?” Jeff thought for a moment and then he said, “It was around 9:30, I think.” Clare had her hand over her mouth and Bill had one hand on her shoulder, the other on the back of Jeffrey’s neck. “And did you go home after that?” Bob inquired. “No, sir. I went to my brother’s house. Andrew lives up on Orange Blossom Road. I was there until about an hour ago. I knew I didn’t have morning classes so I just spent the night there.” “Sorry I didn’t let you and Mom know, Dad.”

Bob still needed to tell Jeff about the baby. Clare was in tears, and in total disbelief. She asked of Bob, “What kind of animal is roaming the lake in Sandy Oaks? I mean, what could have possibly killed a human being? We never see bears or wild cats, or any evidence that they’ve been there. What was it, Bob?”

Bob told the Johnston’s that the only thing they knew for certain was that it was an animal attack but they weren’t sure yet what kind of animal it was. They weren’t even sure yet if the animal was rabid so he urged them to keep their eyes open and to not approach any strange animal, even if it appeared to be harmless. He then asked to speak with Jeff alone. Bill and Clare nodded their permission and with that, Jeff walked out of the kitchen leading Bob to the living room.

“Jeff, I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not… but… Elizabeth was pregnant.” Jeff looked surprised and shaken. He didn’t know. “So, I’ve lost the girl I love with all my heart and…and my child…” Jeff was visibly upset and Bob could tell he was trying very hard to keep from crying out loud. “I’m so sorry, Jeff.” Jeff needed to be alone and Bob recognized that so he left, asking Jeff to give his parents his regards. Jeff nodded in agreeance.

Jeff went back to the kitchen where his parents waited. He told them Bob said goodbye and then about the baby. Bill and Clare cried with their son and Clare decided to stay in for the day. They were disappointed that Jeff and Elizabeth hadn’t used protection but this was not the time to talk about that. This was a time of mourning.