“Come On, Susan Lucci!”

Ok, so maybe you have no clue what the title of this piece even means. Maybe I watch way too much tv. Here’s the commercial clip so you can get a clear picture:

 

In case you aren’t a daytime soap fan, Susan Lucci (the actress in the red gown) was on the soap All My Children for many, many years. Now, this commercial isn’t particularly funny….but I have an odd sense of humor. It’s just so overly dramatic that it makes me chuckle every time I see it. (There are 2 other versions, too!)

Now, bear with me…..

Today, in the Walmart parking lot, I was trying to park the little battery operated scooter when I was finished with it and the dang thing kept stopping. The battery was fine. If you’ve ever used one, you may have come across one that doesn’t always like the way you’re sitting on it. It will stop if your weight isn’t just perfectly on the seat. It’s maddening. It really is. Especially when someone is right behind you and you’re trying to go, go, go….but the scooter just wants to stop, stop, stop!

Anyway, there I was, trying to park the scooter where it wouldn’t be run over by a car. It stopped. I got it to go again. Then it stopped again…. I yelled, “Come on!” and I started laughing my dang fool head off because I nearly finished that with “Susan Lucci!” Imagine the looks…even more than the looks I got because I was laughing my head off.

So, there ya go! There’s never a dull moment!

10 Things On My Mind Today, Sunday

Just a few things on my mind tonight. It’s been a rough week.

1. My state of mind. I hope this improves over the next week because I can’t stand it when I’m depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I have felt so damn alone this past week. It really bites when you have chronic pain and mobility issues and you feel like a burden to everyone. I don’t like asking for help but sometimes when I do, I feel like I have just demanded someone’s first born child or stolen their soul for all of eternity.

2. My dad’s leg. He has cellulitis. I had been after him for weeks, if not months, to go to the doctor and have the rash on his leg looked at. His reply? “I have a doctor’s appointment in December!” When I took him to his Lifeline screening on Thursday, he was informed that the skin on his leg felt hot to the touch and that he should go to the doctor because it could be infected. Then, and ONLY then, did he allow me to take him to urgent care and have it checked out. Good grief. Stubborn man.

3. Hurricane Harvey. Oh, the damage you have done. Thanks to all of the rescue workers, paid and volunteer, who have helped save so many lives. Praying for Texas tonight.

4. My neighbor. She has spent the last couple of years caring for her mother who was suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. She lost her mom this week. She was a nice lady and had an awesome sense of humor. Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease. It rips families into pieces…their hearts, that is. Prayers to the family.

5. The stray cat that I have been caring for, for the last month and a half. She needs much more care than I can give her due to my pain and mobility issues. She is long haired and I am still fighting the matted fur she arrived with. I am trying to find her a good loving home. She’s sweet, well-mannered, and has been spayed and received distemper shot. I hope I can find someone who will love her with their whole heart.

6. Still working on my weight loss but it’s not easy trying to get back on track. I’ll never get my knee surgery if I don’t snap out of this slump!

7. Chocolate. Always craving chocolate. Gimme some.

8. I hope I get some sleep tonight. Sick and tired of tossing and turning….if you can call it that. I can barely move; repositioning is terribly painful.

9. What’s for lunch tomorrow? Dinner? Planning my meals for the week. Ugh.

10. What can I watch on Netflix? Need stuff to watch because I can’t go to bed early…because I can’t sleep. Ugh.

Confusion

Last night I went to bed barely able to walk. I was in severe pain from the cleaning I did that day. I just bite off more than I can chew, every stinkin’ time. Anyway, I went to bed and fell asleep quickly.

This morning, Dad poked his head into my room and says “Hey it’s after 9:00.”

I rolled my head towards the door. I said, ” Oh shit,” and rubbed my eyes a little and asked him, “What time is my appointment?”

“It’s Saturday,” he responded after a brief pause. I’m pretty sure he was trying to decide if I was serious or just screwing with him.

“SHIT! I’m so confused!” I said, clearing my throat. This type of confusion usually only happens when I take a nap and have slept pretty hard. This is the first time it’s happened from a good night’s sleep – and I must have slept really hard!

Dad chuckled and went on to clatter the dishes in the kitchen as if to make sure I didn’t fall back asleep. It took me awhile to get my brain and my body acclimated. I wish I didn’t hurt so damn bad in the mornings! I was up and ready for our weekly outing to have lunch. Today, we were planning to have Italian food.

Later, I recalled another odd time that I had been severely confused but it was back in my 20’s. It was the middle of the night; 2:00 am actually. I was sound asleep, my now-ex next to me snoring his damn fool head off. The phone rang. It was on my side of the bed, so I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Debbie! How are you? Are you ready for this weekend?”

“Uhm. Yeah? Who is this?”

“Oh Debbie, wake up! It’s me, Phyllis.”

At this point, I was seriously trying to ‘wake up’ because I couldn’t remember who Phyllis was! I asked the caller, “Phyllis who?”

“Phyllis. Your hairdresser! Wake up, Debbie!!”

By now, I thought I had a prank caller on the line. I said in my snarkiest voice, “I think you have the wrong number, Phyllis, the hairdresser.” 

She replied back with my phone number and my full name…. I confirmed that WAS my number….AND my name…..

“I think you must have the wrong Debbie [last name] because I don’t know anyone named Phyllis and I don’t have a hairdresser! I cut my own hair!”

She was perturbed with me; I could hear the aggravation in her voice as she said, “Well, I’ll call you back tomorrow, Debbie….. after you’ve had a chance to wake up.”

I managed a quiet, “Whatever,” before hanging up and I rolled over and went back to sleep.

It was quite puzzling until the next day at work. I was congratulated several times by coworkers on my ‘pending nuptials’ which left me scratching my head. I just thanked them and went on with my day each time.

When I returned home, I grabbed the day’s newspaper and confirmed that I was to be married to a man named Dennis, whom I had never met. There were no photos, so that explained why everyone thought it was me. But Phyllis…..she must have opened the phone book and just assumed I was the one. She probably realized she had the wrong Debbie soon enough because she never called me back!

 

Sick and Twisted

I cannot wrap my brain around a horrific crime committed just recently in my county. Many who follow this blog have no idea what I’m talking about. I will spare you the gory details. There is a link at the end of this post IF you want to know about the story.

This has been weighing on my heart and while I hate even thinking about it, I need to write to clear it out of my brain for awhile at least. I sit here and wonder what is going through the mind of the person/people involved. I wonder:

 

How does it feel to know that YOU are responsible for your own child’s gruesome death? Do you have any feelings at all? Are you so sick and twisted that your own life and desires outweigh the importance of a 16-year-old girl’s life? I hope you have many, many years to contemplate what you have done. The death penalty would be too damn easy and kind considering what YOU DID to her. You deserve to rot in prison for the rest of your miserable life.

How does it feel to know that everyone in the county wishes they could hang you by the neck in the town square? Or beat you to a pulp? Or tie you to the back of a truck and drag you through town? Have your closest friends and family abandoned you in your time of need? Oh well. You disappointed them. You hurt them. You may have even destroyed them with your actions. 

You and others have failed this child so miserably. I can only pray for justice for this young girl, whose life was cut short in such a violent manner. May she rest in peace.

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Read The Story Here

A Faint Light at the End of the Tunnel

I have been teetering on the edge of depression and hopelessness for weeks, if not months. My pain level continually increasing, my mobility continually decreasing. I went from using a cane to get around to needing a walker at various times, to needing the walker even more! By the end of July, I had to buy a wheelchair because I was having some seriously rough days where I could barely walk at all. I wasn’t seeing an end to this blasted pain and depression coming anytime soon.

Today was the day I was to see my orthopedic doctor regarding future knee replacement surgery and possibly other treatments. I was nervous and anxious. I was already having a seriously shitty day. I had such severe pain in my left knee, that I cried when I walked. Sit down, you say? I had things to do that don’t get done unless I do them. I had my routine pet chores to do: feeding and watering, cleaning litter boxes. I had to do them before my appointment and I couldn’t just sit down and wait for the pain to pass. (At least I hoped it would pass!) It did pass, hours later while at the doctor’s office.

For the last 10 years, I had been struggling to find the help I need. I hit roadblocks and doctors with a God Complex continually. My new primary care doctor hooked me up with this orthopedic doctor and I have been slowly gaining hope. I’ve been optimistic but cautious. I don’t want to get my hopes up like I had so many times before. I’ve seen this doc a couple of times before. She gave me information and guidance, which I never got before in the 10 years dealing with Cox doctors. I was still worried that she would tell me the same things she had told me before.

She did, but she didn’t. My primary doc had ordered an MRI when she found out I had been using a walker. She said, “You’re too young to be using a walker!” The ortho doc looked at the written report on the MRI. She told me that while it’s very bad, it’s just not a good idea to do knee replacement surgery in my present condition. This time, it wasn’t so imperative that I lose more weight. I was encouraged to do so, however. “Even if it’s just 20 more pounds,” she said. (I have actually gained 6 lbs. since I last saw her. Oops.) The problem is more that my leg muscles are too weak. And since my insurance won’t pay for physical therapy, I would be in for a long, hard fight to recover from surgery. I understand that completely. I don’t want to have a long, hard recovery either, but I told her that I’m not too worried about that because I’m the kind of person who will fight with all I’ve got IF I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I told her, “Right now, all I see is darkness.”

We discussed another round of injections, this time with the second choice since the first choice didn’t help in April. I can get the injections in October. I hope they will help. Maybe by then I will have lost more weight and gained more strength in my legs. Her in-office PT guy gave me more exercises to try since the last batch caused me so much pain.

I’m going to try. That’s all I can do. I just hope I can lose more weight and strengthen my leg muscles before I am permanently dependent on the wheelchair. (I’m pretty stubborn though, so if I can walk even just a little, I WILL.) 

So there IS a faint light at the end of the tunnel! Small steps. Ok, tiny steps. But I’ll get there. I’m hoping that by mid-2018 I will have that surgery scheduled!light_at_the_end_of_the_tunnel_by_oehr-d66j9gy