Category Archives: Ramblings

Scrambled Eggs For Brains

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I despise this time of year for several reasons. The main reason, and most personal, is the lack of grandkids filling my home. I had so hoped for a full house of littles in my 50’s but I guess that’s just not meant to be. I have 4 grandkids now and the most I can hope for is a little time spent with the youngest.

Another reason for my loathing of the holidays is the fact that everything is so commercialized. It’s all about how many millions of dollars brick and mortar stores and online shops can pull in and about damn near every family in America feeling the need to go broke just to provide their families with gifts that they don’t need, don’t want or just don’t freakin’ deserve. I mean, how many teenagers have you known who deserved a brand-spankin’ new car for Christmas? I’m sure there are some out there, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve seen the worst, most spoiled brat teenagers get brand new cars and it makes me want to drop-kick their parents off a cliff.

I try to make my nieces and nephews crocheted items every year…which is getting rather difficult because there’s so damn many of them! My grandkids get crocheted afghans or toys, or whatever their parents think they need or might like. My kids get something useful because at their ages (30 and 33) they can buy their own expensive toys and be happy with a kitchen gadget or something of that nature. I bought Dad a motorized antenna because he insists that he doesn’t need DirecTV in his bedroom. The old-school antenna fell down months and months ago so he’s been without tv in his bedroom. He knew what I was getting him because I needed him to check it out first to make sure it was something he could use or would want. He did and so there ya go. Now he says he doesn’t know what to get me so I should pick something out for myself from him and surprise him. Always a joker. Now I have to decide what I want.

I’m really exhausted…mentally and physically. My brain is just scrambled most of the time. I can’t focus. As I type this, I have to keep checking my spelling because inevitably I turn the letters around or leave letters out. That’s not normal for me. I thought maybe it was just from doing Thanksgiving dinner, which we had the Sunday following Thanksgiving because I needed time to prepare after being sick for 12 days. I tried to make it as easy on myself as possible. I made absolutely nothing homemade. It should have been easy, right? After all, dinner was just four people and everything was boxed, canned, instant, frozen, and/or just needed simple assembly. The turkey breast soaked in a brine for 2 days and on Sunday morning I tossed it in the roaster. I was in so much pain afterward…and I’m still paying for it. I thought I would feel much better by now.

Our traditional fixings for our Christmas Eve (homemade pizza, pizza balls, and popcorn cake) will have to be made by my son or he just won’t get them this year. I just can’t do it anymore. Last year, he came over to help me make them and all was going well until I fell like a dumbass. I had huge bruises on my thigh and didn’t walk right for a week.

I’m not even going to put up my little tree like I did last year. I just don’t have it in me. I have no motivation, no inspiration, no desire. That’s what chronic illness does. It takes away a person’s desire to do the things he/she used to love to do. It’s exhausting

I still have packages to ship, a few gifts to wrap, and Christmas dinner to plan. I think I’m just going to buy a ham and some baked beans and be done with it. Nothing special…but gotta have my ham! If my brain isn’t already scrambled enough, going to Walmart will surely drive me to the brink of insanity!

Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah…

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This afternoon I started feeling crappy. My throat was scratchy and I kept clearing my throat. That turned into a little cough and I hope I can fight it off because I have an appointment tomorrow to get my hair cut. I’m in desperate need of one, that’s for sure!

Anyway, about the time I started feeling crappy the phone rang. It was some woman from my doctor’s office. Let’s say her name is Mary because I can’t remember what her name was. Mary introduced herself and told me where she was calling from. She said she had been going through the records of patients and was trying to reach out to all those who had been diagnosed with depression. She explained that she knew how depression felt and what it can do to your life because she had been diagnosed with depression some time ago.

She started talking about all the effects and how we can try and combat depression by doing this, that, and the other. I kind of zoned out because she was literally starting to piss me off. She never let me get a word in edge-wise! All I started to hear was the sound of Charlie Brown’s mom: wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!

About the time she said that one way to help depression in the winter was to sit by a window with the sun coming through. I interrupted her, “Is there something you want?” She kept talking about how hard it is to deal with depression. I said, “I have a therapist, thank you very much. What do you want?” Again, more about depression. I added, “I am managing my depression just fine, thank you.” Wah, wah, wah, wah…

She just wouldn’t shut up! I said, “Unless you’re giving away free trips to Scotland, I’m not interested,” and I hung up. I don’t know why this doctor’s office thought it would be ok for someone to start calling people like that but I’m going to give them a piece of my mind tomorrow. Wanting to help people is one thing but a) there is a therapist listed in my records (who is no longer in practice but they don’t know that) and b) this call was unsolicited and I had never been seen at this particular doctor’s office for depression so there was no reason for the call, in my opinion. Oh, and c) PRIVACY ISSUES! I don’t know if she was a nurse, or if she even really worked there.

I expected Mary to call back but she didn’t. Have you ever had someone call you back after you hung up on them? I have, once. Funny story, actually. This was back when I was running a Day Care for kids in my home and I was busier than a cat covering up shit. I get this call from a man doing a survey about political bullcrap. I answered a few questions and I said, “Look, I’m very busy and I don’t have time for this.” He said he would just need a few more minutes of my time. I said, “My time is MY TIME and I don’t have time for a damn survey.” I hung up. After less than a minute, the phone rang again. I answered and the man said, “Ma’am, I’d like to finish this survey.” I said, “Oh, you would, would you? Well, you can go fuck yourself and DO NOT call here again!” I hung up again. Can you believe the nerve? And don’t worry, none of the kids in my care were in earshot of what I said!

Last Thursday & Dad’s Appointment

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It all started at 2am when the storm they talked about all week decided to hit. With one lightning strike, the power went out. It went out for just long enough to mess up every digital everything, and that did not exclude the freakin’ coffee pot. When the power came back on, so did the coffee pot, which was originally set for 8am the next morning. The coffee actually started to brew at 2am! So, our coffee was several hours old and had to be rewarmed when we got up. The power went out several times during the wee hours of the morning. I had the a/c going in my room, which is digital as well. Every time the power went off, so did my a/c. I had to roll over and turn the damn thing back on via remote every single time. Thankfully, my alarm clock has battery back up because I had to take Dad to his doctor appointment in the morning.

His appointment was a bit early for me since I don’t go to bed until 3am. I know, I’ve heard it before: Why don’t you go to bed earlier then silly? Well, for your information, going to bed earlier doesn’t make me go to sleep earlier, that’s why. I still toss and turn (painfully, I might add) until damn near 4am no matter what stinkin’ time I go to bed! So now that that’s out in the open, I shall continue.

When we got to the clinic, there weren’t too many cars in the parking lot. I thought, Super! This is going to be quick and easy! Well, it was quick but it was painfully not easy at all. The people in the waiting room made me cringe. One lady was dressed in some weird-ass clothing so she looked like a clown. She wasn’t even an old lady. I thought to myself, Be nice, Deb. Maybe that’s all she has to wear. An older woman, who walked past me to use the restroom smelled strongly of urine. I think she was too late, I thought. Holy crap. Again, Be nice, Deb. Maybe her washing machine broke down and she doesn’t have the money for the laundromat to wash her clothes or maybe she was waiting for her son to fix her washer. There was an old man in a wheelchair who was coughing and wheezing like he really needed to see the doctor right away but the two receptionists were yapping instead of recognizing that maybe they needed to get him out of the waiting room before he infected everyone else. They were uncomfortably loud! I guess they thought we all needed to know that one of them has an autistic son and the other, a mother-in-law from hell. One has a dog with 3 legs and the reason for that is he got run over by the lawnmower. How awful is that? Oh yeah, and one woman’s husband was caught cheating on her red-handed by her sister’s husband’s something or other… Jesus. As if anyone in that damn waiting room gave a shit! I had told Dad before they called his name that I may be out in the car when he gets done…and that’s what I did. I held my breath as I walked past the urine lady and the wheezing man and tossed the gabby bitches at the front desk a dirty look as I disappeared through the automatic door.

While I was out in the car, I rolled down the windows because there was a nice breeze. It felt great! I put the radio on a classic rock station and turned up the volume. When AC/DC’s Hells Bells came on I cranked it up and I just happened to look a few spots over where a woman sat in her car, also waiting. She gave me a dirty look as if I might be Satan’s Keeper or some shit and I shot her the metal horns (hand gesture) and she rolled her windows up. And yes, I thought everyone deserved to hear my music because I have awesome taste!

Dad was done fairly quickly and we headed over to our favorite Italian restaurant for some pizza. The server was a pain in the ass. She took our order for hot wings, drinks, and pizza. Then she pretty much came back with one thing at a time, as if she couldn’t carry a beer and a glass of wine at the same time, or plates and a basket of wings, or even napkins and straws. The pizza was great, as always, so I tried not to be so hard on the dip shit.

We headed out to Walmart after lunch and got everything we needed in a timely manner. The problem came when we were ready to checkout. There were only 2 checkers working and there were 8 people in one line and 6 in the other. Geez. Can they not see the long lines of people waiting? I hate that store more and more every time I go there! But at least they had a scooter this time so there’s that…

When we got home we learned that it had poured down rain and the roof sprung a few more leaks. Dad asked me where my ‘grabber’ was because he couldn’t reach a strip of paint from the ceiling that was hanging down. He said it was going to fall eventually anyway. I told him where the ‘grabber’ was and as soon as he picked it up, poor Honey Bear shot out of the living room like a bat out of hell and slammed into the refrigerator, the cart and then my legs! She nearly knocked me down! She’s a whopping 20 lbs. and when you’re not expecting something like that…well, I almost lost my footing. She went through there so fast I didn’t even know which cat it was at first! I’m sure someone from her previous home must’ve done something to her with something that looks like or sounds like that damn ‘grabber.’ Poor baby. So sad.

I was definitely glad that day was over! Going out can be very exhausting for someone like me with chronic pain and even an older person like my Dad. We both fell asleep in our chairs! Everyone has to recharge, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slackin’

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12

I’ve been slacking in my blog writing duties. I even spaced out last week and forgot Friday’s Funnies! Sometimes, I write something and then I decide it’s either not good enough or I’m worried about the backlash of something I say. You know what I mean. Some folks can’t handle when others have a different opinion. I don’t need the drama.

My youngest grandson, Hudson, just had his very first birthday celebration on Saturday. It was a hoot! He thoroughly enjoyed his cake and he received so many gifts, he’ll be busy for a long time! I took thousands of photos thanks to the “burst” feature on my phone. I didn’t want to miss a second! I’m very proud of my son and daughter-in-law for raising such a happy, happy kid! He seems to have a bit of the same personality as my son did at that age. If that’s any indication at all, he will be a real kick-in-the-pants as he gets older!

Monday rolled around and I was cleaning the house up a bit. I’m having a friend over tomorrow for some crochet instruction; more like lunch and mudslides. While I was busy cleaning, Dad decided to go out and mow a bit. It was very hot though so he said it would just be for about an hour or so. He wasn’t outside for longer than 15-20 minutes when I heard this loud, horrible noise. I looked up and saw that our satellite signal had gone. I thought, Oh, great. Dad hit his head on the dish and knocked himself out. Well, that didn’t happen. I went outside and found that Dad had mowed over the extra cable outside. The cable got caught on the mower blades and spun that sucker up like a ball of yarn! It not only ripped the connector out but sliced the cable in two pieces! Great, just great. My son came over today and unwrapped the cable from the blades, hooked up a new cable, reset the box and we were good to go. Thank goodness. It’s boring as hell around here without tv!

I’m really looking forward to the Fall weather or sweater weather as I call it. I’m sick to death of being hot and sticky. I mean, you can only take off so many layers of clothing! I’m looking forward to taking photos of the leaves changing, and sitting outside comfortably. I wish I could still go hiking. Walking is one of my favorite things to do, but I can barely walk these days.

Maybe the change of seasons will inspire me to write more. I know I need to be more consistent. I sometimes just don’t know what to write about! Where do you find your inspiration to write? Do you have any suggestions for me? I’m all ears and eyes here, so lay them on me!

Eureka Cigarettes

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11

OMG.

I was in town this morning just for a few things. There was a woman who worked there who was fanning things on the shelves with a clipboard. I wanted to ask her what the fuck she was doing because it made no sense to me, but I kept my mouth shut.

As she approached me, I was overcome by the sickening gawd-awful stench of cigarettes! I wondered, didn’t she give a shit how she smelled? Did she even know she had the stinks? Holy crap. I mean, I used to smoke. Just a couple a day; a very light smoker. I used to work with smokers who smoked a lot more than I did. They never smelled that bad. Trust me, my nose (even when I was a smoker) could pick up on that stink yards away. I don’t think I’ve EVER run across anyone who smelled this bad! Holy crap, this woman smelled as though she smoked 3 packs or more a day!

Without even thinking, I raised my hand to my nose and covered it. She looked at me. I think she knew…or at least had a little clue that she must stink. I hope so! I wanted to tell her…

NO! I wanted to YELL at her:

“Come on, lady! You-Reek-of-Cigarettes!!!”