Category Archives: Ramblings

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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The other day, I responded to a photo of the most beautiful cat on Facebook. I said, “He/She is gorgeous!” What I got back was a lecture about how it is appropriate and grammatically correct to use ‘they’ when the sex is unknown. So, I was supposed to say, “They are gorgeous!” That just doesn’t sound right because it was ONE cat. And really, who cares? It’s a cat! The cat doesn’t give a rat’s ass if you call it he, she, or they. It’s not a human! The cat doesn’t care.

Don’t get me wrong about this pronoun business. I am very sensitive to the fact that many nonbinary people identify as they, or perhaps another pronoun altogether. I would never purposely say something insulting to a nonbinary person…however, I would like the same consideration in return. For example, if I use the incorrect pronoun, the nonbinary person should try and understand that a) perhaps I didn’t know or b) that it’s sometimes very confusing. The nonbinary person shouldn’t get their panties in a knot about it. If you don’t celebrate Christmas for whatever reason, do you get all pushed out of shape when someone wishes you a Merry Christmas? It would be stupid and insulting for someone to be a twat about it when they are just being given good wishes and it’s not obvious by looking at someone if they celebrate the holiday or not. The same goes for nonbinary people. You can’t look at someone and know what pronoun they identify as.

Anyway, it just drives me bonkers to be lectured or “educated” by some idiot who doesn’t know me from Adam. There are a lot of idiots on Facebook, let me tell you. It used to be a fun place to hang out and stay connected with friends and family but I’m about fed up with it. You don’t dare comment on a public page without some idiot (or asshole, take your pick of adjectives) responding in a hateful way.

People also fail to realize that when they read something, they may not read it the way the writer intended. What I mean is that text cannot accurately convey tone, emotion, expressions, etc., so it can be easily misinterpreted or misunderstood. It doesn’t help that punctuation is misunderstood or left out completely. It seems that I am always misunderstood. Sometimes I think I must be writing in a foreign language or something!

Well, that’s it for today. I hope you have a stress-free day with no useless conflicts.

aunt-debbie

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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LGBTQ+ Rights Being Eroded

I wish I knew what the hell was going on in this country! Every time I turn around, there’s a new bill targeting LGBTQ+ folks and it’s alarming and just plain wrong! I’m pretty sure every single one of us knows someone who is in the LGBTQ+ category! I have family members, friends, and acquaintances who are LGBTQ+…so what’s the big deal? Jesus never said, “Love everyone except those LGBTQ+ people!” I get so angry when I hear people going on about letting others live their own lives or preaching to others about how they just need to be themselves. So, why can’t people let others live their own lives and walk their own paths even if they are LGBTQ+? Too many hypocrites out there…just saying.

Water Heater Blues

Back in early February, our water heater blew an element. Up until yesterday, we were using half-assed hot water. The water was being heated but not as hot as it would be with both elements operational. For months, we’ve had to rush in the shower before the hot water ran out! Rushing in the shower is not a good idea when you’re disabled! Anyway, Tuesday night, we heard a big BANG! POP! It was the same sound we heard when the first element went out. I thought, Oh great. How long will it take for Dad to do something so we don’t have to take cold showers? He actually got to it yesterday and it took him all day but we are now running the water heater with two elements. I can finally take the time to scrub the months-worth of dried skin off my legs and feet!

The Family You’re Born With vs. The Family You Chose

Some of you know a little about the family drama I encountered a couple of weeks ago. I’m not angry. I’m just sad that it has come to this. I no longer give a shit. They are still family and I love them but I have a better support system with friends I have never met in person! Those are the people I consider family. Some are blogger friends, and some are friends on Facebook. I just want to say thank you, to all of you who have been there for me, who check up on me and Dad, and who have provided a ‘safe place’ for me to vent. You know who you are! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

That’s all for now, friends! I hope you’re having a lovely week! What’s eating you?

What the Literal F*ck Just Happened?

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It has been a long and grueling week and I’m done with it. Turns out that the family I thought I had for moral support, just took a huge dump on me. I’m a strong person otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now, but even strong people need someone to talk to on occasion. I have been accused of several things but the one thing that hurt me the most was being accused of bullying Dad. I will never forgive them for that. It was uncalled for and came from a place of not knowing what the fuck they were talking about. 

Seems that certain family members have forgotten about all of the help and moral support they received from me over the years. When I need nothing from them except a little understanding and support in return, I get shit on and told that all I do is whine and complain. Let me see them go through what I go through without complaining or even occasionally whining. I always thought that with family, I’d have a safe place to vent; to express my concerns, my anger, my fears, and to complain without being shit on, regardless. Boy, was I wrong.

Apparently, I am refusing help because I won’t move to another state and start all over. Like I’m supposed to do what they say?? Dad doesn’t want to move. I sure as hell am not going to leave him behind! Shitting on me is sure not going to convince me to move – as if they’d be there for me even then. Ha!

More shit hit the fan than I care to share, because God Forbid, I might be whining! Insert eye roll here.  

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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So many things, so little time. Actually, I have time but I don’t have the motivation.

Dad’s been having issues. Constipation, for one. I tell him to drink more water, eat fruit, eat some veggies, take a laxative of some kind every night, take a stool softener….ugh. It takes a specialist in gastroenterology to tell him the same things before he gets it. I feel like it’s my fault that he’s having digestive issues because I just can’t stand in the kitchen and cook like I used to. I have to rely on frozen meals and quick Instant Pot or Crock Pot recipes; things that go together quickly. I don’t buy much fresh produce because I can’t eat it all myself. He won’t touch it. If I’m making myself a salad, he doesn’t want one. If he’s not very hungry at dinner time, I offer him an apple. He declines. He has cookies instead. You get the idea.

I picked up a curbside order on Friday and was beat afterward. I just can’t believe how exhausted I am from doing something so simple. I’m sorry I didn’t post Friday’s Funnies but I was just too tired. I am determined to make sure Dad gets the fiber he needs, whether he likes it or not, so I made sure to get lots of fresh fruit and veggies. I also bought some chops and cheap steaks, chicken breasts, potatoes, and some canned and dried fruit. I spent the entire day Saturday washing produce, vacuum sealing meats and corn on the cob. I blanched the corn first, vacuum-sealed it, and tossed it in the freezer. Very simple things but I was exhausted. I took lots of breaks. My knees were killing me! Since we went out for pizza after picking up our curbside order, I only had enough energy to pop the leftovers in the microwave for lunch. I ate mine cold. Yummo.

Saturday night was hell. I was in so much pain, all I could do was lay in my reclining lift chair. My back hurt so bad I couldn’t even think straight. Sunday, wasn’t as bad but I had aches and pains in places that I forgot I had. I’m still in a bit of pain this morning but my pain is almost down to the level it usually is.

Anyway, about Dad’s issues. His memory is failing. He stumbles quite often, thankfully though he hasn’t hit the floor in quite some time. He’s not helping as much around the house like he used to. For example, every night he would get the coffee maker ready for morning but lately, he has just completely forgotten about it. I don’t mind doing it but this is happening a lot with other things and I just can’t do it all myself. He used to sweep the floor when he saw it needed to be swept. He used to swish the toilet when he saw it was dirty. He used to get stuff out of the washing machine automatically and put clothes in the dryer. Now I have to ask him to do it. I’m too short and the washing machine drum is too deep. I just can’t reach! It’s getting worse and worse and my own pain and mobility issues are quite enough for me to handle. I just don’t know what I’m going to do when Dad needs more care than I can provide.

My family’s (sisters and daughter) solution is that we move to Tennessee so they can help us. Dad won’t move but even if he wanted to, how in the hell am I supposed to pack shit up and get ready to move when I can’t even wash produce without it killing me? Dad can’t help much. How am I supposed to drive 5 hours in a car that I can barely get in and out of? Too many loose ends to deal with. What would I do with my furbabies? What about my son? If I moved away, then he wouldn’t have any of his family near him. At least my sisters and my daughter all have each other in Tennessee. Where would we live? I’m not living with my daughter or my sisters. They already have their hands full with who knows how many dogs and cats! Too crowded for me. Also, our property and everything on it is paid for. Why the hell would I want to start all over? No, thank you. I guess since I can’t get family to step up, I’ll have to kill myself trying to take care of Dad. Ugh.

I have put my own health on the back burner for the past 6 years or so. I have not pursued knee replacement surgery since the last orthopedic doc told me I had to lose more weight first. Since then, Dad has become more frail and I can’t leave him home alone. How the hell am I supposed to have surgery when I can’t leave him alone? I never thought I’d be in this predicament. There’s no one to help – I’m in this alone. And I’m tired…oh so tired.

I started this blog many years ago. I think it was around 2008 and I started it to have a place to vent, to get things off my chest. I’m really glad I still have it because it helps to vent. I thank you for reading – whether you’ve been following me since the beginning or have just started, I thank you very much.

Peace, my friends.

aunt-debbie

The Saga of Jack and BobCat Continues

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Poor Jack. He just hasn’t been the same since “The Imposter” BobCat has come into the house. He has been the most jealous cat I have ever seen! (BobCat has many nicknames but I call him “The Imposter” because there is a real BobCat hanging about at night that has all 4 of my furbabies a bit rattled. Don’t worry, kitties are in an enclosure, safe from outside influences trouble.

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BobCat looks like he’s taking a selfie for a dating website!

“The Imposter” was brought inside in October, after being neutered, vaccinated, and dewormed. It has been very stressful watching Jack continuously so he doesn’t kill BobCat. I mean, continuously! Finally, in the last couple of months, Jack has learned to “be nice” and they actually touch noses almost every night at snack time. He hasn’t beaten him up in a few days. (Trust me, he goes days without incident now instead of several fights per day!)

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Jack looks like he’s pissed!

Anyway, Jack is very jealous and acts out like a child would if he/she were to suddenly have a baby brother that always has mom’s attention. BobCat got used to sleeping on me at night because he felt safe and that used to be Jack’s spot. I can’t get him to come share with BobCat so Jack goes somewhere else. BobCat likes to sleep in my chair when I’m not in it and Jack will jump up and steal my chair before BobCat can get it. Jack has been peeing on things off and on. It makes me so mad! I have numerous bottles of My Pet Peed spray to combat the odor but it would be nice to not have that extra work because I am in so much pain daily.

Jack is still lovable as hell, but not exactly like he was before. I’m trying to pay more attention to him so that he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is still my “nubby wubby” (lovey dovey) and I hope to get him back to normal soon.

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Here’s a pic of Jack and BobCat being nice friendly!

It was actually quite funny. They were sharing my chair and when Jack looked at BobCat, BobCat would turn away. When BobCat turned to look at Jack, Jack would turn away. This went on for several minutes!

To be continued…..