Category Archives: Ramblings

Little Shits

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I’m starting this month out just great…or ending this year great. Not sure which. This morning at 5:10am I was up to go to the bathroom. After I got settled back in my chair, with ear plugs and eye mask, I was nearly killed by Jack and BobCat, who insisted on fighting. I sleep in my lift chair and the two little shits were bouncing on and off me as they ran through the house. I was getting pissed because Jack is just too aggressive and I was afraid I’d be clawed to death, stuck in the middle of a cat fight. 

So, after they declined to knock it the hell off, I decided to get up and put the fear of God in them. I’m not really sure what happened as I am always very careful. I think I lost my balance trying to put my shoes on. I normally put my shoes on before I stand up. Anyway, I lost my balance and down I went. HARD. On my right thigh/hip. Damn. I cried. 

Dad heard me fall and was horrified! There I was. Sprawled out on the living room floor in tears. I knew nothing was broken but damn, my leg hurt. I thought, how the hell am I going to get off the floor? I have grab bars strategically placed throughout the house for exactly this reason. Little did I know it would still be nearly impossible, for me to get up. I had to scoot about 20 feet to get to the grab bar. Then, because my knees are in such sad shape, I couldn’t bend them to pull myself up. I had Dad bring my shoes, which I call mock crocs, so I could get better traction. Nope. That didn’t work. I had Dad get the gait belt with handles so maybe he could help a little. Nope. Not yet. We have a 3″ step that sits between the kitchen and the laundry room because there’s a 5″ step that’s difficult for me. The 3″ step helps a little. I had Dad bring that over to me and I slid that sucker up under my fat ass. The thought was that maybe if I were up a little higher, that would help. It did help, but poor Dad probably strained himself trying to help from behind, grabbing the handles of the gait belt and pulling me up. Holy crayoli. I was up. It only took 45 minutes. 

Now, I sit here in pain. My right leg is killing me. Nothing broken but holy crap, the spot on my hip where I landed is tender to the touch. By tonight it will be purple, I’m sure. Oh, and my arms will hurt, too. 

Great way to start December or to end the year? Which do you think?

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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I’ve eaten at 3 different Mexican restaurants in the past month or so. Only one of them was worth going to again. I’ve eaten a lot of Mexican food over the years and no, I’ve never been to Mexico or Texas, but holy crap. When the refried beans don’t taste like beans, the enchilada sauce is like tomato sauce, and the rice tastes dirty, I won’t eat there again. I can let go of the fact that the salsa may have way too much cilantro or the tortilla chips weren’t perfect. I know that restaurants have bad days. I know there are different regions of Mexico so each restaurant may have different recipes… Maybe I’ve become too picky or my palate has just been spoiled over the many years of eating at a Tex-Mex place that has closed down. All I know is that I know what tastes good to me…

Looking after Dad has been especially difficult this past month. He’s been forgetful more than usual. His gait is unsteady. He has fallen twice. His blood pressure goes high mid-day even though he takes his meds. He sleeps in his chair off and on all day long. He’s not sleeping well at night. He sleeps some but it’s not restful sleep. I worry. I stress a lot.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired and frankly pissed off to no end, of this political shitstorm! Trump is an asshole, plain and simple. Every single person he has in his entourage is an asshole. You have to be an asshole to follow an asshole. He has no morals. He wants what he wants. He is the biggest narcissist this world has ever seen. He wants to change our government to the way he wants it to be. He wants to destroy everything we have and everything we know. I could write all day about Trump and still not cover everything…

Our washing machine is being stupid. It washes fine. No problems with a load being clean. The problem is that it doesn’t just beep (a tune) when a load is finished. It decides in the middle of the night to beep off and on as if there’s an unfinished load in the machine. It needs to be serviced before I beat it to death with a baseball bat!

Well, that’s what’s eating me today. Not sure about the rest of the week. Haha. Have a great day, friends.

aunt-debbie

Saturday’s Outing

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Yesterday, Dad and I had a curbside order to pick up and we decided to head over to Vaccaro’s Pizza and Pasta afterward. They always have great food and service and we hadn’t had pizza in ages. We always get other things from the menu, like the stromboli, antipasto salad, or the shrimp basket.

While we were there, I needed to use the restroom. I’m disabled so I desperately need to use the handicap stall – you know, the bigger one with grab bars and a commode that sits a bit higher. Well, this is not the first time but when I went into the restroom, someone was in that stall. OK, so I thought I’d wait a few. I got tired of waiting and I didn’t want Dad to think I had fallen, so I went back to our table. I waited and waited, watching the restroom for that person to leave. Our pizza came, and we started eating. I still needed in the restroom after 25 minutes and it got to the point where I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to use the regular stall. Ugh. I had a hard time, to say the least. I tweaked the pinched nerve in my spine and made it worse. Fml. When I finally made it out of there and went back to our lunch, that’s when the person in the handicap stall came out. I was pissed. Do you want to know why? It was a damn employee who was in that handicap stall! Not a disabled person!! I wonder if she was on her phone while she was doing her business, for crying out loud. You know how that can eat up your time! Good grief!

We ordered 2 pizzas; one to eat there and the other to take home. I separated that pizza and put it in the freezer for later. Plus we still had half a pizza we didn’t eat so I froze that, too! Their pizza is really, really good! So, we had 2 big 16″ pizza boxes to carry out of the restaurant. Mind you, I can’t walk without crutches, which means I can’t carry the pizza. That would fall on Dad. I asked him, “Can you carry those or do you want me to get one of the girls to carry it out for us?” He said, “I can do it but you may have to carry my cane.” Well, I wouldn’t be able to do that easily so he said, “I’m going to go to the restroom and then I’m going to take my cane out to the car.” I told him to be careful because he falls so easily these days. When he came out of the restroom, he came back to our table. I asked, “I thought you were going to take your cane out to the car?” He said, “I did!” I looked down at his cane and back up at him, back down to his cane…He finally looked down and saw he still had his cane. He rolled his eyes and said, “Goddammit! I’m so stupid!” He took it out to the car, and when he came back he was beating himself up for his error. I told him he wasn’t stupid and not to worry about it. Poor old man. I feel so bad for him these days but we usually get a good laugh out of not only his errors, but mine, too. He’s not alone when it comes to doing something screwy! That’s for sure!

Anyway, we headed home to unload our curbside order, which included some Thanksgiving items. Dad and I will stay home and I’ll make us a small dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, breadmaker bread, and I found these itty-bitty 4″ pies (included in my curbside order) so I got a blueberry, chocolate, pecan, apple, pumpkin, and cherry. They’re a little small but we don’t have to be pigs! Ha!

In case I get real busy or forgetful…

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As we say in my family: Happy Turkey! (Even though Dad and I prefer ham!)

aunt-debbie

That Time of The Year, Again

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I am not looking forward to the holidays. I haven’t enjoyed them as much as I used to since way back in 2009. Some things happened that were beyond my control but, well, let’s just say that it took a therapist to help me get through them. I have blogged about that time of my life here before so I won’t go into it again.

When I was in my early 40s I looked forward to my 50s and 60s when my family would all gather together for the holidays. I always thought I’d have my children and grandchildren all around me. I envisioned reading Christmas stories to the grandkids and watching them hang their personalized ornaments on the tree. I could see the joy of the holidays in their eyes and the excitement of opening gifts. I loved the idea of sharing great food, movies, and traditions. To me, Christmas has always been about family.

Thanksgiving is all about family, too, in my opinion. I imagined having my family all around a big, crowded table, enjoying good food and good times. We’ve had my son and his family here for those dinners and my bestie (at the time) would come and we all had a good time. My bestie decided she was no longer interested in coming for those dinners, and recently I ended that friendship (for other reasons) so there are even fewer people at my imaginary table.

I don’t look forward to the holidays anymore. My life is filled with pain, mobility issues, and the stress of caring for my Dad. My grandkids are here and there, and the nearest hardly even know me. It’s depressing when I think about it so I try not to. But the holidays force the thoughts.

It’s lonely. There’s no joy in the holidays anymore. Sure, we’ve had ham or turkey dinners and a few gifts but I haven’t put up a tree in years. The last time I did, it was a small 1 footer, but I don’t even bother with that anymore. I don’t bother putting decorations up and I don’t even care to keep up the old traditions, or even the newer ones. Why bother with any of it if the kids and grandkids won’t be around to enjoy it with us?

This year, the grandkids will get a gift or 2 from Dad and me, and my kids will get a copy of my cookbook, (that I dedicated to them in the first place). Other than that, nothing special is planned. No tree, no celebration, no traditions, no big feast, no nothing.

Dad and I will stay home and eat junk food. Just kidding. Most likely, I will make simple meals or we’ll go out and eat. It’s depressing being alone and I know Dad feels it, too. He has great-grandchildren who don’t even know him for Pete’s sake! It’s a shame because Dad loves kids and would love to have his great-grandkids around him.

I won’t complain anymore. We’ll get through it; we always do. 

SNAFU

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When it rains, it pours. My Granny used to say, “If it ain’t one thing, it’s something else.” That pretty much nails it.

Yesterday morning, I dropped my laptop. It was in the padded case I carry it in, but apparently, it hit just right and hard enough on the kitchen floor to whack the corner. It didn’t seem like it hit very hard, but now when I open it, the lower right corner pulls away from the screen. The laptop still works but I have to leave it open for fear of making matters worse. I can’t afford to buy a new one or have someone repair it. Geez. I just purchased it June of 2023 so it’s virtually new.

This morning, Dad went to take our trash up to the dumpster. The damn car won’t start. I had to cancel my curbside order. I may have to cancel my vet appointment for Alice’s checkup tomorrow afternoon. We have AAA but Dad’s so damn stubborn. Instead, he decided to try to charge the battery himself with his handy battery charger. I hadn’t heard anything in a little while so I went outside to check on him. He was standing by the car with the hood up and charger in his hand, just thinking. He said it wasn’t going to work because the charger won’t plug into the extension cord. I saw right away what the problem was. He had the male end of the extension cord in his hand and the charger cord was also male. I told him he needed the female end of the extension cord to plug the charger into. I switched that up for him and then it worked. Poor old guy. He thinks everything will be so simple but he just can’t think through the process so it ends up being a big hassle. Anyway, the car is charging. We’ll see what happens. 

If that’s not bad enough, Dad has put us in a potentially critical financial conundrum. I guess that would actually be worse than any of the other problems we have going on right now. Dad’s a wreck about the whole thing and I’m pretty damn stressed out, too. When the solution or end of the situation has arrived, I will write more about it. Until then, please wish us luck! 

Well, that’s all for now. I’m headed to the shower. With any luck, I’ll make it out of there alive. 

aunt-debbie