Category Archives: Opinions

Opinions: Not Right, Not Wrong

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I don’t voice my opinion often, but when I do, I think I deserve the same respect that others expect when they voice their opinion. What I normally get is barked at by those who don’t agree, or disrespected in some other form….including confrontational private messages! Do you know what I do when I don’t like someone’s opinion? I just keep scrolling!!!! I don’t argue and bark at them as though they’re wrong or stupid for having an independent thought. I accept that others will have a different opinion, and discussion is always welcomed but have some damn respect!

Learn to be open-minded

I don’t know what it is about opinions that people don’t understand. Opinions are neither right nor wrong. Opinions are views or judgments formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. They are based on a person’s perception or experience of a situation. My opinions are normally formed after I consider both sides of the matter. This is something I think many people neglect to do. They just “thump their chest” as if to say, “What I say matters!” Well, so does mine. Everyone has the right to form an opinion, and to not be disrespected, even if views are different. I use to tell my kids as they were growing up, “If you want to be respected for your opinion, then you must first respect the opinions of others.” It’s just that simple.

My Blog, My Drama

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I started this blog way back in 2008. It was a way for me to express myself through the turmoil that had just begun. It was therapeutic.

It has always been difficult for me to express myself verbally. I attribute that to the fact that my mother stifled me every chance she got. My opinion wasn’t important. My feelings didn’t matter. I was the child and children were to be seen and not heard.

Into adulthood, my ex treated me just about the same way. I found myself having to explain what I meant at every turn. I learned to keep my mouth shut. It was just easier than having to explain myself constantly. I think that’s what he was aiming for anyway. That was his way of stifling me like my mother always did.

So, anyway…. 2008 began with a series of events that became even more troubling as time went on. I needed an outlet. I had to do something to keep myself from going bonkers. I started writing. I hadn’t started seeing my therapist yet; that came a few years later. I think Dr. M would be very proud of me taking this blog to another level, stepping out of my comfort zone. Being Aunt Debbie has always been public, but I never advertised or shared it, except with a few choice people. I am definitely out of my comfort zone!

In July, I decided to share, share, share. I decided to let Google index my blog. I started interacting with other bloggers; I commented on their blogs, and in turn, I received a very warming acceptance. I received comments on my posts. I even started a Facebook page to pair with my blog. It has been a positive experience, for the most part.

The part that isn’t positive is when I receive confrontational comments on my posts, which have nothing to do with the post. Let me just say that I don’t do confrontational. This is MY blog. So, only MY drama is allowed. I don’t have time for your BS. Don’t like my blog? Don’t read it. Don’t like my attitude? Don’t follow me; not on WordPress, not on Facebook, not on Instagram.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not always right. My opinions differ at times. I can handle a discussion about different topics, even when opinions differ. What I can’t handle….no, what I won’t handle is YOUR attitude if you come off confrontational. I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m just keeping it real. Real simple. Be nice or go home.

 

Advice to Those Living With Others

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If you live with others, whether it be your parents, your spouse, room mates….doesn’t matter WHO….here’s a few bits of advice for you to chew on:

  1. If you see the toilet is getting yellow, at the very least, grab the scrub brush and swish it around a little. If you really want to be a helpful human being, use some kind of cleaner in the toilet, even if it’s just vinegar. Don’t brag about what you have done to help.
  2. If you see the kitchen floor in need of a good sweep, it won’t kill you to grab the broom and dust pan and give it a good once over. Takes but a few minutes. Don’t brag about what you have done to help.
  3. If the carpets are in need of vacuuming, it isn’t going to kill you to vacuum. Doesn’t take long to clean up and make the room presentable again. Don’t brag about what you have done to help.
  4. If dishes need to be washed or put away, do it. It won’t kill you. Just be sure to use dish soap and get the damn things clean. Don’t brag about what you have done to help.
  5. If the living room or your bedroom or the office, etc., are in need of a bit of tidying, then tidy-up, you slob. It won’t kill you to help. Don’t brag about what you have done to help. 
  6. If you fix yourself something to eat, clean up after yourself. By that, I do NOT mean push the crumbs off onto the floor or toss the dishes in the sink. I mean, WIPE the counter clean with a cloth, wash your little dab of dishes or put them in the dishwasher. Don’t brag about what you have done to help.
  7. Don’t wait for someone else to be doing the chore and then ask, “Do you want me to do that?” or “Do you want me to help with something?” And whatever you do, don’t proclaim, “I was going to do that!” because seriously, if you were going to do it you would have done it already! You’re not fooling anyone!
  8. Oh and did I mention, Do not brag about what you have done to help!? You can pitch in and do your share because you live there too! Your mom, sister, daughter, brother, friend, etc., were NOT put on this earth to clean up after you. Do your share! You live there too! Period!

I guess all I’m trying to say here is, get off your butt and do your part in maintaining a house, a home, that you share with others. You can work all day and be tired when you get home, but just a few minutes to at least try to help out at the end of the day will mean a lot to the others you share a space with. Your days off can be for goofing around, going to the gym, playing video games, taking the dogs to the park, etc., but it won’t hurt YOU to do a little to help tidy-up the space you share with others. It’s not fair to expect one person to do it all when all of you share in making the messes.

Parents, Teach Your Children Well

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We’ve all been there before. You’re trying to shop for groceries, or buying school supplies for your children. Maybe you’re at the local laundromat and frazzled because your washing machine crapped out on you. Perhaps you’ve stopped for lunch at a local diner or fast food restaurant. Where ever you may be, you’re busy with your own thoughts, your own children, your own tasks. And then….

A loud screech from a few feet away. Maybe the kid in the booth right behind you is bouncing around in his seat to the point that every movement he make jerks you around in your seat. Another outburst. Perhaps someone’s child is running through the laundromat, punching each machine as he goes by. You try to be patient and let it go, but it doesn’t stop. The more that little ball of fire screams and squeals, the more irritated you get. Wait. Is that child here all alone? Nope. The child is with adults. Why, oh why aren’t they making him stop? They are oblivious to their child’s outbursts.

It seems that many parents don’t teach their children proper behavior when out in public. Some don’t teach them manners at all! Is it because they don’t know any better? Is it because they believe their child has the right to do whatever they want and disturb whomever they want? I don’t necessarily believe in spanking, although sometimes, it does the trick. Sometimes, all it takes it raising your voice! Sometimes, counting. My kids rarely let me get past 2. They knew I meant business. But, parents, please discipline your child because if you don’t they will grow into big, overgrown assholes who don’t care about anything or anyone!

Take a recent case in a Maine diner, video link below. The owner of the diner slams her hands down on the counter and yells, “This has got to stop!” She points to the 2-year-old who has been crying for 20 minutes while the parents did absolutely nothing. Turns out the child was hungry and we know how kids are when they are hungry. They are very impatient. They don’t have the control that we do as adults. Why didn’t the parents try to divert her attention? Why didn’t they ask the waitress for some crackers? The parents did nothing. If you have been following this story, you know that even when the child’s pancakes arrived at the table, the parents didn’t even give them to her! She still cried and cried and cried! Why did this family think it was ok for their child to disturb everyone in the diner?

Do you think it was OK for the owner of the diner to respond in this way? Do you think she was out of line?

My opinion is this – and you can take it or leave it – the parents should have either removed child from the diner (temporarily or permanently), or asked for crackers or a banana for the child, or tried to divert the child’s attention to something else. (This would mean giving the child some attention and I’m not sure that the parents even knew what that meant.) As for the owner of the diner, a little more tact could have been used. But let’s not forget about the 75 other customers in the establishment who may have been trying to relax over breakfast, go over notes for an important meeting at work, or maybe just have a quiet conversation with someone. ALL parents need to be a little more sensitive to other people around them! It’s called having some consideration for others!

Yes, children get upset. They cry. They act out. They are children. But it’s our responsibility as parents to teach them; to guide them. It takes a lot of time and patience, but it has to be done. We cannot allow our children to grow up with NO manners!! We can’t let them think it’s ok to behave like little spoiled animals because they will ultimately behave like animals when they are adults! We have to teach them that they can’t always have what they want. They have to learn how to deal with life’s disappointments. Sometimes, they have to wait. Sometimes, they don’t get what they want, when they want it. Parents need to be teaching their children manners, and that it is NOT ok to disturb everyone else!

Watch Now

One Step Forward…..

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So, the Supreme Court ruled today that Gay Marriage is now legal in all states! That one step forward doesn’t feel like a step forward at all, when you listen to all the negativity surrounding the entire issue. It’s unbelievable to me that people are so close-minded that they cannot see beyond the idea that “it says in the Bible….”

Biblical times are not THESE times. Times change. I’m not writing this to discuss the Bible or Christian beliefs. However, I WILL say that GOD loves everyone! If GOD has a problem with gay people then let GOD take care of it. Wouldn’t God want you to treat EVERYONE with kindness and fairness? Respect? I say yes, YES He would.

Gay people do not have a choice over their sexuality. It’s not like they decide to be gay for “the fun of it” – not my words but someone else’s stupidity coming forth on the good ol’ internet. Gay people have the right to love and be loved just as straight people do. They do not deserve to be judged by YOU for who they are or who they choose to be with. You can’t help who you fall in love with. That’s just how that crazy critter called love is….

I’m appalled by a comment I read earlier today. A woman asked, “Why do they [gay people] want to get married anyway? They’re going to be together if they want to be together, whether they are married or not.” This is true. But isn’t it also true that STRAIGHT people are going to be together if they want to be together, whether they are married or not? So, why do straight people get married? They marry because…..

*They love one another and they want to spend their lives together.

*To show their commitment to one another in front of their friends, family, and God. Wedding vows (promises) are made and taken more seriously if in a traditional, legal ceremony.

*To legalize their commitment because society recognizes this contract between two people.

*To ensure that their medical and legal rights are protected, normally reserved for blood relatives and guardians, but when married, the spouse is granted the right to make medical decisions.

*To have children; start a family. Marriage is binding, therefore both parties agree to raise the children, and that the children be taken care of in the future. Marriage provides a legal and strong foundation.

*When you marry, you agree to be faithful, supportive, loving and kind….through thick and thin, sickness and health….until one of you has passed away.

I suppose there are many other reasons straight people get married…..but don’t gay people get married for the same reasons? Of course they do! They aren’t really any different than any of the rest of us!

I’m sure someone will argue,  “Gay people can’t make babies.” I beg to differ. Many gay couples use a surrogate. If that isn’t an option for them, they adopt. There are many children in this country who need a loving home. Isn’t that all any child wants? Parents who love and adore them, protect them, teach them….. Right? Why wouldn’t God approve of a loving couple taking in a child that is not biologically theirs and raising that child as their own?

Oh, how this world makes my head and heart hurt. 

I know so many of you will disagree with everything I have said here. You have every right to disagree and voice your opinion. I always try to be respectful when speaking my mind…..a concept that so many do not understand! It is my hope that if you speak your mind, you will be respectful, even if you believe differently. It’s only right.