Drunken Critters

I’m so sick of this old house with all of its cracks and crevices where critters of all kinds can get in or at least try. There’s a space under the kitchen sink where the drain pipe comes up from under the house and a critter has been trying to chew his way into the house. That’s what it sounds like! Come to find out, that’s not what he’s been doing. 

Last week, I heard a clatter coming from under the sink so I snuck into the kitchen as quietly as I could so as not to disturb the critter. I wanted to see what was making that racket! I jerked the cabinet open as quickly as I could and heard the scamper of little feet high-tail it out of there and down that little space. I saw nothing, not even the tip of its tail!

The next day, I needed something from under the sink and my bottle of Captain Morgan was knocked over. I picked it up and went about my business. That night, I heard the racket under the sink again. I knew I couldn’t get the cabinet door opened quick enough to see what kind of critter was making the noise. I knew it was either a mouse or a rat though, because anything else would have been too big to squeeze into that space. I guess it could be a weasel because they are little slinky critters.

When I got to the kitchen, I noticed the rug in front of the sink was wet with something. It was wet alright! Wet with wine. Dad’s box of wine was leaking all over the place! The bottom of the box was all wet but there wasn’t any noticeable chewing on the box. It was nearly empty though, so we drained it into a couple of empty water bottles.

Dad put a new box of wine under the sink the next evening and do you know what happened? That box was leaking all over the place the very next day! We caught it before the entire box nearly drained out all over the place but it was only then when we realized a critter must have done the deed because how could we get 2 leaky boxes of wine in a row? 

Every time I open the cabinet, I find my bottle of Captain Morgan, vodka, or one of my other bottles of booze knocked over. (I’m really not much of a drinker, but I do have a drink now and then.) I pick them up and check for chew marks on the lid. So far, they haven’t figured out how to get to the booze in the bottles. They do like to run off with my SOS pads. 

Dad has to keep his wine box elsewhere now, to keep those little critters from drinking his wine. We had a good laugh though; thinking about the little fellas drinking the wine as it leaked out and visualizing them weaving and swaying back and forth trying to get back down the hole!

Drunken critters! Can you imagine?

The Noise Under The House

I was binge-watching “Detectorists” the other night, minding my own business. I heard the critters under the house, moving furniture again. That’s what we call it, anyway. It sounds like I have downstairs neighbors moving furniture around at the most ungodly morning hours. It drives me bonkers!

So, the critters were at it again. Only this time, it was extremely loud and then grew even LOUDER! They kept on for at least 20 minutes. They were so loud that my cats were freaked out and ran out of the room. I was banging on the floor as loudly as I could, hoping to spook the critters away, or at least shut them up. That didn’t seem to bother them.

The noise was coming from one specific area of the room. I stood on the floor at that spot and stomped my feet repeatedly, hoping to scare them off. They weren’t threatened at all. What really freaked me out was not the noise they were making. It was the fact that as I stood there, I could FEEL the movement and it was so intense that I swear, if I put a glass of water on the floor it would have made waves in the glass!

That’s the worst the critter activity has been and I still wonder WHAT critter(s) are living under our house? Are they raccoons, opossum, skunks, or something else? And what the literal hell are they doing under there?

Wacky Wednesday

You’re up at night all alone. You hear a noise. What do you do?

Last night, that was the scenario. I heard a noise and thinking one or more of my three cats were up to no good, I got up to investigate. They were all asleep. So what was that noise? I checked the bathtub because sometimes the suction cups holding trays and brushes come loose and hit the bottom of the tub with a loud bang. That wasn’t the case this time. Well, what the hell was that noise?

I heard it again! It was coming from the kitchen. I thought maybe the critters under the house were “moving furniture” again. Standing in the kitchen, I hear the noise again. It was coming from under the sink! Do I dare open the cabinet?

I opened the cabinet! What do you think I saw? A baby opossum crawling carefully back down the hole from whence he came! I wanted to grab him before he got away because I’d love to raise a baby opossum and keep him as a pet. They do make wonderful loving pets BUT I let him disappear back under the house.

That is my Wacky Wednesday story!

Not My Photo: Found on Facebook, Owner Unknown

opossum

Throwback Thursday

Another TBT and I am finding it difficult to choose which old posts to re-share! Some are good, some are funny, some are too stupid…. Hmmm. Here’s one that takes me back to the days when my son was always bringing home some kind of critter. I actually miss those days…but not so much some of the critters!

Beware The Snapping Turtle