Friday’s Funnies – Cats Are A**holes

Yes, they are. If you own cats or have owned them in the past, then you can relate. For the most part, my 4 furbabies are well-behaved. Except for Jack. He’s the asshole of the bunch. I sometimes call him JackASS. He’s perfectly fine to sleep all day, and then sleep beside me on the bed as I’m reading before bed…but as soon as the light goes out and I start to doze off, he decides it’s time for some shenanigans.

There must be a mouse in my closet because Jack was digging around in there (2 nights in a row now) but as I mentioned, he waits until I start to doze off and then he starts misbehaving! He gets tired of that and then he chases poor Honey Bear and that poor girl cowers in fear! He’s not trying to play. He’s being mean. I have to go after him with a fly swatter! He pulled that shit 3 times last night. I’m thinking it’s time for another vest. His old vest doesn’t fit him anymore. I used to put it on him when he behaved aggressively towards the others. That’s the only way I could train him. It took 3 years to get him integrated completely with the others! It worked, but now all of a sudden, he doesn’t like Honey Bear.

I’m shocked (and I bet you are, too) that I haven’t dedicated a Friday’s Funnies post to only cats, so here it is. The proof that cats can be assholes! I hope you enjoy!!


You thought the dog was the one who ate your homework?



On, off. On, off. On, off. Dis be pretty neat!



The new way to say hello!



Shenanigans commence!



You gotta go, you gotta go! Besides, you poop in a porcelain bowl so why can’t I?



Couldn’t decide which one to use!



They want outside but then…



Those blinds will never be the same…and neither will the new ones, and the new ones after that.



Imprint of the ancient house cat.



Screen doors get the same abuse as the blinds.



I think cats purposely knock their toys under things because they enjoy watching us struggle trying to retrieve the dang things!



That fish lucked out when the family cat thought he should knock it off the table!



If your cat does this, then he’s trying to tell you that you watch too much tv.



Oh, hai. What are you guys doing?



As long as the cat is warm…



I stole your lunch. Couldn’t find any meat.



The cat’s new bed.



Don’t dare me, Susan.






This guy doesn’t like that you’re leaving, so he’s going to wipe his ass on your windshield.



Clean the box, Susan!



What? It’s not a new bed? It’s nice and warm!



Will these hatch if I sit here long enough?


I wanna play, too!


This half is not as warm as the other half.



You come at me, I show you the teef and claws!



Cat likes to do puzzles, too!



I’ll unplug it, man. Don’t yell at me!



How about a little tail?



Missing elastic ponytail bands? Ask your cat where they are.



Cats don’t like selfies!



I want some nom nom, too! Dat smell good!



There was an explosion. I swear, I didn’t do it!



The Elusive Underwear Bandit strikes again!



Take that, human! Put some pants on!



Sorry, had a party last night.


And that, my furry little friends, is why humans do this to you:









So, there ya have it! An entire Friday’s Funnies post dedicated to the domestic cat, who were once worshipped by the ancient Egyptians. I don’t think they’ve advanced, do you?

I hope you have a great weekend! Stay warm, stay safe, and stay awesome!

Aunt Debbie





20 Ways To NOT Be An Asshole


Ok, so this list is not complete….but after the day I had, it just felt like the right thing to do! Ha! Here are 20 ways to NOT be an asshole!

  1. Drive on your own side of the road! Watch what you’re doing before you end up killing someone!
  2. Put your phone away when you’re driving. Idiot.
  3. If you’re going to critique someone’s writing, then make sure you use proper capitalization, punctuation, and grammar while doing it. Yeah, YOU.
  4. Be respectful and use the good manners your mother (hopefully) taught you when dealing with others.
  5. If you or your child receives a gift from someone, the very least you can do is ACKNOWLEDGE the gift giver’s attempt.
  6. Be nice to animals. Just because you think God put them here for humans to use, doesn’t mean that God wanted you to be an asshole and torture them.
  7. Don’t try to beat an older person to the door and then NOT hold the door open for them! Your grandmother would be ashamed of you!
  8. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a change. Empathy, it’s a real thing.
  9. Stop trying to convince others that they’re wrong and you’re right. You aren’t going to convince them because they have their own reasons for thinking and feeling the way they do. Just STFU.
  10. Don’t lie and make up stories to make yourself look good. It’s really pathetic.
  11. Shut up and listen to others. What you have to say is important but if you shut up long enough you’ll find that what others have to say is equally important.
  12. Don’t be lazy. Do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.
  13. Wash your own dishes. Don’t expect your girlfriend/mom/sister to do them because you think it’s “women’s work.” With that attitude, I guarantee someday that dirty cast iron skillet is going to leave a mark on your skull.
  14. Replace the toilet paper roll when needed. It’s not that hard. Not even for a 2-year-old.
  15. Don’t eat or drink the last of something and then put the empty package back. Don’t just leave ONE freakin’ cookie in the package either, you douche.
  16. Don’t hold up the 10 items or less lane in the grocery store when you clearly have 35 items in your cart!
  17. Stop thinking you’re so damn perfect because you’re NOT!
  18. Don’t talk with your mouth open, you animal. Your Gramma would smack you.
  19. Stop thinking you have the right to tell adults in your life what they can and can’t do. They’re adults. They make their own decisions.
  20. Don’t wait until a chore is nearly finished by someone else before you ask if they need help.


I could go on forever and I may continue at a later date. What would you add to the list?