Spiders, Ick!


I have a (possibly irrational) fear of spiders. Any kind of spider. ALL spiders! They give me the heebie-jeebies. My son used to tease me by touching them, knowing it would not only make my skin crawl but it would also make me feel nauseated. Just the sight of the above photo makes me shiver! Weird, right?

I check my bed every night before I go to bed. I check the sides of the bed. I check the walls and the floor in my bedroom. I shake my clothes and bang my shoes on the floor before I put them on. If I feel a tickle on my skin, the first thing that comes to mind is that a spider is crawling on me. IF a spider really is crawling on me, you would see me doing the “OMFG get it off me” dance and I would be freaked out for the rest of the day!

If I see a spider right before going to bed at night, all I can think about as I lay in the dark is that there’s a spider coming down the wall, or there’s one crawling up the side of my bed. I know it sounds absolutely nuts, but I can’t help it!

I was bitten by a Brown Recluse several years ago, not once. Not twice, but 3 damn times! I made the mistake of not checking my sweater before I put it on and it took 3 times before I realized I was being bitten. It felt like a “nerve tickle” and didn’t hurt. I was freaked out for weeks after that! Thankfully, I didn’t suffer any adverse effects from the bites. They say some folks are immune to the venom of the Brown Recluse. (Yes, I went to the doctor!)

I was up until 3 am one time a few years ago, just trying to get a spider. I saw him in the kitchen on my way through. He scampered across the floor and went right into my bedroom, and under my dresser! That fucker had to go! No way could I go to bed with him in there. Now, just so you know this was NOT a small spider! This creepy bastard was the size of the palm of my hand. If I let him get away, there’s no telling where he might turn up! I grabbed my broom and my handy spider spray. I had to move the dresser and I managed to spray him, which slowed him down considerably. It took hours, but I finally got him and still didn’t get any sleep that night!

When I was working as a Medication Technician at a nursing home in the 90’s, a huge spider came running out from under the snack machine in the hall. Someone had placed a plastic cup over it and called the charge nurse to get rid of it. Since this was late at night, the maintenance crew was gone. They normally took care of the icky stuff for us. The charge nurse picked up the plastic cup, thinking she was going to smash it or something but that spider took off running so fast she couldn’t get it. What did it do? It came right towards me! I let out a blood-curdling scream that woke several residents from their slumber and I ran like hell!

I know, I’m such a baby!

When I wonder why I’m so terrified of spiders, my mind always goes to the story my mother told me many years ago. She said that one day when I was small, I was playing outside on our driveway, just outside the kitchen. Mom told me that she caught me trying to pull a black widow spider out of a crack in the cement and she hollered at me to stop. She said I had been afraid of spiders ever since. I don’t remember the incident so I don’t know what she yelled, but I often wonder what she actually said to get me to leave the spider alone? Could that be the reason I’m ready to crawl out of my skin upon seeing a spider?

Give me snakes, cicadas, grasshoppers, beetles, rats, mice….cockroaches even! Just keep the damn spiders away from me!

What are you afraid of? Do you feel that it’s irrational? Do people laugh at you? I know a guy who is afraid of butterflies and moths. Go figure. Too bad I couldn’t trade fears with him.