Tag Archives: pain level

Good Days Are Few And Far Between

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Yesterday was rough. I hadn’t slept well the night before, so my legs didn’t benefit from restorative sleep. That’s important because without restorative sleep, my pain level never goes down, and I’m unable to function properly the next day.

Most days, with or without restorative sleep, I don’t even brush my damn hair. I just use my fingers to pull up my hair into a ponytail. I need to take care of myself as well as Dad, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy.

Taking care of Dad is very important to me, and I need to be able to do what needs to be done. He is doing better now that he’s walking a little. He’s using his walker to get around and doesn’t need me to be right there by his side, as I was for the first week or so after he came home from the hospital. Even though he’s doing better, I still need to be able to fix meals, do dishes, laundry, etc. I’m hoping that soon, I will be able to get him in the shower. I’ve not been too confident about that because I can’t do much to prevent him from falling in the shower! God forbid anyone offer to help.

Yesterday, I was exhausted when I got up, and my pain level was sky high. Performing even the simplest tasks was a painful experience. I was in tears at one point, and Dad felt bad that he was putting me through this. I reassured him that none of this was his fault. It must be difficult for him not to be self-reliant like he used to be. It sucks to get old. He will be 89 next month.

When Dad was in bed for the night, I watched a little TV and got ready for bed. I hoped for a good night’s sleep, and that’s what I got! Almost 8 hours of sleep did my legs some good! I feel much better this morning, and I even made breakfast quesadillas. I hope tonight is a good one, too.

Wish me luck. I need all I can get!

A Better Day & A Little Chuckle

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I’ve been trying to get my mojo back. I decided to force myself to do some of the things that I enjoyed prior to COVID19, and/or prior to becoming disabled. It has not been easy. Having to rest every 10 freakin’ minutes sucks any joy right out of whatever task it was I was trying to complete.

I think I mentioned in my last blog post that I had the bell peppers to make my famous-not-so-famous Stuffed Bell Peppers, thanks to a great friend who went to the grocery store for me. I made 4 of them and rough-chopped the remaining 4 bell peppers and popped them in the freezer for my Stuffed Bell Pepper Soup. Dad and I each ate a stuffed pepper for lunch and then the last 2 at dinner. I wish I had made more! I was exhausted afterward…and in between…resting every 10 minutes, as I mentioned. I was not in any shape that day to be working in the kitchen anyway, because I was working on only 2 hours sleep the night before, if that. My pain level was so high I ended up getting out of bed at the butt crack of dawn. I was so tired after making the peppers, I took a nap. Then I took another later in the day.

Today, my pain level wasn’t so high and I actually slept pretty damn good for a change. I don’t know whether that was because of the lower pain level or if it was thanks to the Mudslide I had before bed. When I say before bed, I mean right before bed! I took the last gulp as I was headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth! Haha! Anyway, I had a pretty good day as far as pain goes, so this evening I made my Granny’s Banana Bread. It’s more like cake than it is bread because it’s sweet and heavy but it’s delicious nonetheless.

As I was pulling the banana bread out of the oven, Dad changed the tv over to watch SpongeBob SquarePants. He said, “SpongeBob is more intelligent than any of those assholes speaking at the RNC.” Sadly, that’s so true. Now we shall eat banana bread and watch ol’ SpongeBob for a few laughs.

Have a great night, folks!

aunt-debbie

A Weight, Lifted

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A few months ago, I made the difficult decision to sell my soap making supplies. This came after I finally realized my motivation was gone. My pain level is to the point that everything I do is a struggle. If I’m going to struggle to get a glass of iced tea, then how the hell am I going to make soap? If I were able-bodied, I would definitely not have given it up.

In January, I began boxing up supplies after I found a buyer. It would take me 2 whole months not just because of my pain level, but also because my supplies were scattered all over the house. Now, by ‘scattered’ I don’t mean strewn everywhere. I live in a small house, so in order to have all the supplies I needed for my soap making, I had to make room. That means a shelf here, a shelf there, a few tubs in the bedroom closet, a rack in the small bedroom, boxes stacked in a corner, etc. I spent a couple hours a few days a week getting things together. I had to box things up in a manner that made sense. Soap base in one box, tools and measuring devices in one box, soap packaging items in another, and so on. I labeled each box. Thankfully, the fragrance oils were already in their own tubs. So were a few other things like soap molds.

Today, after getting everything loaded into my car, I met with my buyer who just happens to be a good friend of mine. I said goodbye to my supplies as I drove away….but a huge wave of relief came over me. I was rather shocked. I never thought that there was anything to that “declutter your life, declutter your mind” crap I’ve heard for years but today, I get it. I GET IT!

As much as I hated to give up my soap making, it was a relief to not have all those supplies in my house, taking up space and not being used. I felt lighter….like a weight has been lifted. I felt like now I’m getting somewhere in this decluttering project! Soon, my sister will come for my incense making supplies and then there will be another wave of relief! I’m looking forward to having only what I/we need and will try my best not to accumulate more stuff…except for yarn!

Note: I will NOT be giving up my yarn stash! Hahaha!

The Withdrawal, Oops.

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I’ve had some sleep problems this past couple of months. It became evident to me just 2 days ago (because apparently, I’m a bit slow) that my sleeplessness was a result of medication withdrawal. I had been taking a medication for nerve pain twice a day and decided that I would go off of it because I really didn’t think it was helping much. I didn’t just stop cold turkey. I knew to reduce slowly. I Started taking it once a day instead of twice and did that for about 2 months. Had some restlessness at night. Had a bit of itchiness. It never occurred to me that it was the medication, or rather the lack of…

Then Tuesday night before bed, I was lazy and didn’t take one at all. I figured what the heck. It’s just one night and I want to stop taking it anyway.

That night I was awake all night. I itched all night long. I felt like I had bugs. I never fell asleep at all! I was up at 5am. At this point, I had been awake since Monday morning. I tried to take a nap. Nothing happened. I was tired and I needed to sleep but something was preventing me from sleeping.

Late Wednesday night, before bed, I remembered I hadn’t taken that medication Tuesday night. I looked up the symptoms of withdrawal. Bingo. Duh me.

Sleep disturbances and frantic itching. (Among other very serious symptoms, so I was lucky.)

I made sure to take the medication when I went to bed Wednesday night. I slept well, with no itching. I took it again in the morning. Back to twice a day now, and I think I’ll stay ON the medication because my pain level has improved a bit already. I guess it WAS helping after all.

Slept like a baby last night….without the bedwetting, of course!

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