Tag Archives: new house

Shut In and Shut Out

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When my sister leaves, I’m on my own. That’s not a bad thing necessarily because I’ve always been on my own. I’ve always had to do things on my own. The problem is that I can’t expect Dad to go with me every time I need to go somewhere, and I don’t feel good about leaving him at home, alone.

Now that Walmart is offering “home delivery” in my area (out in the middle of nowhere), I don’t even have to do “curbside” orders anymore. That really helps because it will save money on gas, wear and tear on the car will be minimal, and we don’t have to leave the house.

There are other places I will need to go, such as the Dollar Tree, the local grocery store, clinic for appointments, vet’s office, and perhaps to the hairdresser’s for a much-needed haircut. I have no desire to go anywhere to socialize, so I guess I’m good.

I think we are basically what they refer to as shut-ins. I’m disabled, Dad is elderly, and we rarely leave the house. It’s depressing. I try not to fixate on the issue because it just makes things worse. When we do go out, we’ll have to do one thing at a time. No more doing all errands in one trip to save gas. It’s too much for Dad. On Wednesday, we went out, and it really sucked the life out of him. We went to the Dollar Tree where he insisted he’d walk, then the grocery store for just a handful of items. Again, he insisted he would walk. We then stopped at the pharmacy and the liquor store, both of which had drive-thrus. On to have lunch at one of our favorite places, Vaccaro’s Pizza and Pasta. The next day, Dad was still exhausted. It wasn’t until yesterday that he felt more himself.

So, shut-ins we are. I got to thinking about it, and we are basically shut out, as well. We don’t see relatives who are close enough to visit. We aren’t invited to birthday parties, even though we probably wouldn’t go. An invite would be nice, nonetheless. It would show that they are at least thinking of us. We have both lost touch with friends. Friends who have jobs or take care of their grandkids. Friends who have lives, unlike ours. Ever since I became disabled and Dad became elderly…I don’t even know when that happened…we have drifted away. Anyway, we are shut out of many things.

Things are going to change for us soon. I mean, we may still be shut in and shut out, but we will be moving to the new house. Move-in day is still up in the air, but I can see the end of the tunnel now. My sister will come back to stay, unless she changes her mind. I think I’ve driven her a bit crazy with my bitchiness, but that’s another post.

Until next time,

Into September…

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Here we are. It’s September already. The last 2 months have been a blur. From Dad’s fall, to family drama, to Dad’s recovery, to car repairs, water problems, to well, today.

Dad is doing much better. Having physical therapy helped him more than anything else, in my opinion. After the first PT visit, he started getting better faster! I think once he was shown that he could do more, he started doing more. The more he did, the better he felt, and the more independent he became. He’s walking to the bathroom with his cane, and we have ventured out a few times. My sister being here has helped tremendously, but when she leaves in 2 weeks, Dad and I will be on our own. I won’t have any help or support. God forbid if I ask for help! So, I will be doing things on my own.

My “other daughter” suggested a contractor to help get the new house done. I think I called him Guy #3 in a previous post. He got materials on Monday and started working on Tuesday. He spent 4 days working on getting the electrical outlets and switches installed and the breaker box all figured out. (Guy #1 didn’t label properly!) This coming week Guy #3 is going to install the ceiling fans and lights, and recessed lighting. When the electrical stuff is finished, he’s going to move on to hooking up toilets and a vanity, which I have yet to get. Oh, the decisions I will have to make! Anyway, “other daughter” has said that she really respects Guy #3’s work ethic and that he’s very fair. I need to get a hold of Guy #1 and ask him to bring over the HVAC units we have already paid for. I can’t wait to get attitude from him for asking and/or hiring someone else. You can imagine what I’ll tell him, I’m sure. My old Granny used to say, “Shit or get off the pot!”

I started this post this morning and stepped away for a bit. It’s 5:00pm, and I’m just now getting back to it. Here’s just a little indication of how quickly things can change. Read on…

After the lunch dishes were done and I was headed back to my chair, I noticed a never-used pop-up screen on the TV, and I told Dad to push “exit,” and I thought he had because the pop-up went away. But it popped up again. I got next to Dad’s chair and reached down for the remote in his hand, and he had a pretty good grip on it. When I looked at his face, something seemed off. His eyes were open but glassy, and he was leaning to the left. I thought he was just dozing, and maybe he was, but something told me to check more closely. I kept saying, “Dad. Dad. Dad.” He wasn’t responding. About that time, my sister jumped up to help. We fussed with him for what must’ve been at least 15 minutes, trying to wake him up. He finally started to respond, but his speech was slurred. We were frantically rubbing his chest, patting his cheeks, moving his arms around, etc., anything to get him to snap out of it. He finally did, but boy, did it scare the crap out of my sister and me! He did that to me once several months ago, but it didn’t take that long to wake him. I swear, my sister and I thought we were losing him. Dad is fine now, but that’s how quickly things can change.

I think part of the problem is that he’s not sleeping well. The hospital bed is not comfortable. He bitches about it all the time. Last weekend, I asked my son to come get it this weekend, but he has yet to show up. My sister leaves in 2 weeks, and I will need her to help me get his room set up so he can sleep in there in a real bed!

I will say goodbye for now until next time,

What’s Next?! Can We Not Ever Get A Break?

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So many people have said to me, “You guys sure have a lot of bad luck!” That’s for sure! Every time I turn around, something else happens, and I just want to jump off a cliff!

On Friday, I was working in the kitchen when the water suddenly turned off. I thought I had accidentally hit the lever while working, causing it to turn off. When I turned the lever again, the water came back on. But later, when I went to wash my hands in the bathroom, there was no water. Not even a trickle. I went to the breaker box and flipped the switches for the well and pump, and water heater. Still no water. OMG.

When I was talking about it with Dad and my sister, I just about lost it. I started to cry. It’s so depressing when every damn time you turn around, something else goes wrong. I quickly pulled it together, as I always do. I called a well and pump guy, who came yesterday evening. We hoped for a simple fix, but as our luck has proven over and over again, I expected something that would cost us a fortune. A fortune that would come out of the funds for the new house.

I don’t think the Universe wants us to get into the new house. Or maybe the Universe wants us to die in the rubble of this old, crappy house when it falls in on us. Whatever the case, I wish it would just hurry the hell up. I’m tired of the continual bullshit, bad luck, and depression. My sister doesn’t deserve to live through this shit with us. She’s here to help, not get sucked under.

Anyway, the well guy came with a helper. They were at the wellhouse for about 30 minutes. I guessed they were testing this and that. When he came to the door, I let him in, expecting the worst. He said it was the control box for the pump. It got zapped by lightning or damaged by a major power surge. We all remembered just a few days ago when we had a thunderstorm. Ka-BOOM! Lightning had taken out my tower fan. I was thankful at the time that that was all it killed. We didn’t know it hit the control box, too. The guy said that it sometimes takes a few days for it to completely quit working. He showed us how a screw was completely burned, as well as other parts of the box. So, there ya go. $351.26 later, we had water again. At least it wasn’t the pump or a dry well.

I wish we could just win the lottery. Big money. A HUGE jackpot. Then we could get the new house done, take care of bills, and have money to live on for the rest of our lives. I’d help out family and friends. I’d donate the rest to local charities. I know, it’s wishful thinking to think we’d ever win the lottery!

We always get through crap like this, but I’m getting tired of it. Past tired of it. I mean, seriously. How much crap does one family have to endure before shit starts to let up? When will good luck ever come our way? I try to stay positive, but it’s getting old.

I hope you are having a great Sunday! Until next time,

This and That / Updates

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I am happy to say that my Dad is getting stronger by the day! He’s being brave, getting up and walking on his own with his cane, but without my sister or me to help him. He doesn’t venture far, just to the bedside commode or bathroom and back. His burns are healing nicely. Bandaging is at a minimum now. His feet are still swollen. Lack of movement is likely the cause. He needs to be up and down more. He’s restless. He’s bored as heck. He’s still watching the news nearly 24/7 as he did before. I am ready to pull my hair out! By the end of the month, we hope to have him back in a real bed, not a hospital bed. He says, “That thing is uncomfortable as hell.” Needless to say, he’s not getting a lot of sleep…unless of course he’s in his chair!

No drama for the last few weeks, thank goodness. I have enough stress and anxiety to deal with, and Dad sure doesn’t need it.

Our car is still in the shop. I took it in last Thursday for a/c repair. They said the evaporator needed to be replaced, which means the whole dash has to come out. I was told it’s an 8-hour job, but here it is a week later. When I called the other morning, I was told that the guy who was working on it had a family emergency and had been out. They are bringing in another guy to take over. I was hoping to have our car back because I’m used to driving it. This Eco Sport loaner is rather cool to drive, but it’s a bit too high off the ground for me and the driver’s side floor space is lacking…in space. The accelerator and brake pedals are very close together, and there’s not much space for movement. On the bright side, it’s the perfect height for Dad and his long legs!

We had an appointment yesterday with a nephrologist (kidney specialist) and it was the worst experience we’ve ever had with a doctor! The story deserves a post of it’s own so be on the lookout for that!

Last week, I had a guy (we’ll call him Guy #2) come out and look at the new house. We need to get the damn thing finished asap! Guy #1 has excuses, like how sick he’s been, but he’s still working other jobs. What the hell, right? That doesn’t piss me off as much as the non-communication. Months with not as much as a text. He finished painting the interior and then went MIA. I finally had to tell him literally, “It would take less than a minute for you to text me and let me know what is going on.” Then he got pissy with me. Ok, fine. Guy #2 comes out and looks at the house and says he can do it, but he’d have to hire a lot of it out (like the septic system and circuit breaker box), so it would cost us more. Then I found Guy #3, who came and said he could do it. He is going to get me some estimates on the individual things that need to be done. He also said that things would be slowing down for him and could probably start working on it soon. We’ll see. I haven’t received any estimates yet. I don’t put much faith in what people say these days.

My sister is still here, and I don’t know what I will do without her. I mean, Dad is stronger now and tired of us hovering, but he still needs help. Let’s face it, I’m walking with crutches, so my “help” is limited. My sister has done most of the work around here. She will be leaving Dad and me on our own in mid-September. I’m going to miss her, but I know she has a job and furbabies to go back to. On the bright side, though, when the new house is livable, she and her furbabies are coming to stay.

Stay tuned for the next post!

Stronger and Better

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If you’ve been following my blog, you know that my Dad suffered a fall and heat stroke on July 4th. I was worried that he would be leaving this world. I was not sleeping or eating. I was a nervous wreck. A lot of drama happened. It was exhausting.

I was back and forth to the hospital in our car, which was in dire need of repair. I didn’t know how bad it actually was until several weeks later! When my sister and I were finally able to take the car in, we were told that it was too dangerous to drive and that we were lucky to have made it there! We were urged NOT to drive it home (they wouldn’t be able to get it done in the short time left in the day), and we were promptly given a ride home. The bands in the tires were twisted, and one was ready to explode! A rod was bent, and some other crazy shit I was not expecting. I mean, you can’t tell by looking at the car, but Dad and I regularly take it in for check-ups, tune-ups, oil changes, and all that good stuff. I can’t understand why it was so bad. Anyway, the problem has been fixed. The bill was a whopping $1,371.52!!

Next, the a/c has been out of commission for a couple of years, and Dad never wanted to spend the money on it. Ok, I get it. But now, after Dad’s heat stroke, it needs to be fixed! I cannot take him to his appointments in this heat! I took it in a week ago to have them look at it. Instead of it being the condenser (as we were told by another mechanic), it turned out to be the evaporator. I had to bring the car home again, with no a/c because they need all day to get it done. That will cost another $1,300 or more because they have to pull out the dash, and the whole process is a huge job. I am bringing the car in first thing in the morning and getting a loaner because there’s no way I’m sitting there all day long! Then, I have to get a safety inspection on the car. Does this shit never end?!

Dad has weekly visits from a Home Health Nurse, Physical Therapist, and Occupational Therapist. He has really come a long way since he first came home. He stands on his own and walks with a walker. He’s really bored out of his skull because he can’t do anything without me or my sister. He’s not quite ready for that. He has a little ways to go, and then he will be able to sleep in a real bed instead of that stiff and uncomfortable hospital bed. I’d say a few more weeks, and then my son can come get the damn thing.

With my sister’s help, the living room can go back to the way it was, and I can get the bedroom ready for Dad. I’ll wash the bedding and remove some boxes of stuff. I know he’s ready to sleep in a real bed!

I called a couple of guys to come look at the new house. Since the first guy decided that other jobs were more important than finishing ours, I had no choice but to seek out other contractors. One guy came out yesterday. He knows our remaining budget and thinks he can get the house livable for us. The other guy will come by this weekend. Maybe between the two, we will be ready to move into our new home in a couple of months. I guess that will also depend on when they can start.

I can honestly say, while Dad is getting stronger and better, so am I. I refuse to ask certain people for help. I will never ask for help again just to have things thrown in my face later. I don’t need people in my life who pull that petty shit with me.

I will keep you all posted! With any luck, 2025 will end with us getting some good luck instead of bad for a change!

Until next time,