Ugh…..

Here I sit, sick with a dreadful head cold. I haven’t been sick since December. Ugh. I know that no one likes to be sick. I despise being sick. I am of no use to anyone when I’m sick. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there until the sickness passes…..or I die from boredom, whichever comes first.

Instead of laying in bed all day, I decided to transfer my Blogger Blog to WordPress. So far, so good. It’s here. I figured an update would be in order since it’s been so long since I blogged. (That is, if the fog in my brain will let me complete sentences and actually make sense.)

What has happened over the last 6 months?

*My 3rd grand baby was born in February! Oh my! He is so precious. He has hair like his mother when she was a baby. S.R. had the wildest hair, but I could put clips and ribbons in her hair to keep it ‘tamed’. The first comment people make when they see photos of K.A. is, “Look at that hair!” Dad and I have been trying to go see “the little hairy one” at least once a month. I can’t wait to go see him again.

*My daughter and her boyfriend (A NEW AND IMPROVED BOYFRIEND, since I last posted on the subject!!) have a nice little apartment in Branson, both are working, and they have a competent babysitter for “the little hairy one”. I am very pleased that S.R. is back on track and equally pleased with Z.G., who has proved to be a great daddy and a really good guy. I am very happy to welcome him into our crazy family!

*My pain level continues to rise. If it’s not the ice cold winter, it’s the humidity making my pain worse. Some days I can barely walk. My cane gets lots of use these days. I’m looking into finding a new doctor.

*My son and his girlfriend have found a place of their own and I have an extra room now for my supplies. It’s still a bit on the unorganized side, but I’m working on what works best for me. Time to get the business back on track!

*I have been taking my therapist’s advice and taking care of me. I have spent nearly my entire adulthood taking care of others’ needs and putting my own needs on the back burner. I don’t mind helping others. I actually like helping people. However, I have never set boundaries or limitations. I have had to cut ties with a couple friends because they just didn’t understand. I guess they figured I should be there for them at any given moment.

*I won’t give any details here about this, but let me just say that I am DONE trying to jump through hoops that I just can’t jump through! When one party refuses to take into consideration my physical pain and limitations and STILL expects me to jump….well let’s just say the truth will come out eventually and they will be seen for the hypocritical, judgmental, self-righteous people they truly are. Karma’s a real bitch, baby!

*We finally upgraded to faster internet!! I am finally able to do a lot of things more easily, that I put off all the time before because it was just too much trouble. So, I wonder what I might be getting into next! More blogging for one…..

*Dad is doing great, aside from his forgetfulness. Of course, brain fog makes me forget too, so who am I to talk, huh? What he forgets, I remember. What I forget, he remembers. We help each other out, see?!

So, that’s about it…. Of course, the fog in my head prevents me from remembering a lot of what has been going on lately. I’ll remember more when I’m feeling better and when I come back to read this, I’ll feel like a complete imbecile!

Back to bed….

Empty Spaces….

I’ve been thinking about my son, my “other daughter” and my grand daughter tonight. They have moved out and although they’re close, I will still worry about them. They’ve been living here since last July due to some very unfavorable circumstances. I have enjoyed having Doodle Bug here, no doubt, but I love my son and I feel closer to A.B. now. I’ve always loved her like a daughter but now that we have shared some maternal moments and lived under the same roof, it’s a much closer relationship and I am thankful for it.

My son, C.F., came by and packed up a few things tonight, things they left behind on Wednesday. He seemed in good spirits, perhaps excited about having his own place. It’s an exciting time for them. I pray he and A.B. will work together and be the best parents they can be to Doodle Bug. They can do it, I know they can. They’re young and inexperienced in this sort of thing but I’m confident they’ll figure it out. And I know that they will come to me if need be.

My house is slowly morphing back into the home it was before both of my children moved back home. There are a few empty spaces in my house now, but not for long. S.R. will move into some of those spaces that C.F. and A.B. left behind. With any luck, her stay here won’t be any longer than necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love S.R. and I definitely love my grand son, D.M., but it would be nice to have my house and my life back to normal. I want her to have a place of her own. It’s just too bad that when she does move out, J. will be part of that equation.

Nothing good can come out of that. But, I don’t know anything, according to S.R. I have to step back and let her find out for herself that J. is very bad news. I don’t know that’s possible though, since he already turned her life upside down, and she still doesn’t see it. Perhaps someday she will see it and realize that sometimes I do know what I’m talking about.