Tag Archives: judgmental

Some People…

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I have been hearing a lot of people complaining lately that businesses are closing because they can’t find workers. I’ve heard those same people comment “People just don’t want to work anymore” and I think it’s pretty close-minded and unfair of them to say.

Yes, some folks don’t want to work. Those are the same people who soak up everything they can get out of every type of assistance available to them, even though they can work. But on the other hand, considering the damage done to all of us by the pandemic, some folks just need extra help. Some families are in great need of shelter, food, and clothing; our basic human necessities. In many cases, having a full-time job doesn’t pay them enough to meet those basic needs so they turn to SNAP, Medicaid, cash aid, or some other assistance program. Can you honestly blame them if they can take better care of their families on assistance programs rather than working a full-time job for minimal pay? I’d do the same thing if I had to. Wouldn’t you do the same in order to take care of your family? Your children? The fact is, if employers would pay their employees a living wage, then maybe they wouldn’t be losing employees and face closing.

Here’s something to consider: A single mother with two children earning the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour needs to work 235 hours per week, the equivalent of almost six full-time minimum-wage jobs, to make a living wage. (Taken from the Massachusets Institution of Technology, A Calculation of the Living Wage, May 2022.) Doesn’t she deserve better? Shouldn’t she be able to take advantage of any assistance programs available to her?

Unless you have experienced the same issues as those you complain about, you will never understand their hardship. There are many things to consider before bitching and passing judgment on others. I have written about this before. You can read it here.

Someone Needs To Say It

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People are so judgmental these days. I have been judgmental, you have been judgmental. We have all been guilty of it at some point. It’s not always a conscious effort, however.

A person’s preconceptions are based on their own experiences, beliefs, and values. We all make snap judgments about people and situations. It’s self-preservation in a way. We have the instinctual need to protect ourselves from harm or death. If we see someone who is different somehow, we tend to turn the other way. If you have had a bad experience with a person with tattoos or piercings, that will shape your thoughts. If you’ve had a bad experience with a police officer, a biker, or even an atheist, you’re going to carry that with you forever. We will always be shaped by things that happen to us, our belief system, and how we were raised (what we have been taught). Our experiences shape our thoughts and interactions with others sometimes subconsciously.

There are so many misconceptions about people who are different than others. Here are just a few, and there are many, many more!

  • A person with tattoos/piercings is scary or unclean.
  • Muslims are terrorists.
  • Atheists lack morals.
  • Jewish people are tightwads.
  • Mexicans are criminals.
  • Black people are thugs.
  • Policemen are gun happy.
  • Gay people will give you HIV.
  • Fat people are lazy slobs.
  • Pagans are devil worshippers.
  • Bikers are rough and mean.
  • A woman with red hair, red lips and shows her cleavage must be a porn star.

SHAME ON YOU if you believe any of that nonsense! Those ideas are absurd! Of course, you can believe whatever the hell you want to believe. It IS a free country, but we should always treat people with respect because they DO have feelings and emotions just as you and I do. They have troubles of their own. They have experiences that have shaped them, too.

Everyone is unique. If you don’t know them then you know nothing about them! Simple as that! Don’t just assume you know…..

Just don’t. It’s very unbecoming…. UGLY in fact.

 

 

I’m A Good Person!!

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Have you ever experienced someone treating you as if you were scum of the Earth? Has anyone ever talked down to you or insinuated that you weren’t a good person? I have. I have been treated this way for several years by someone and it has been suggested to me that I cut ties with that person. I can’t see myself doing that because of another person who means the world to me.

I’m not a bad person. I have made mistakes, as everyone has but never mistakes of such magnitude that would make people think I was a bad person. I have regrets, as most people do. I’m definitely not perfect. I have a bit of an attitude when it comes to certain things. I am opinionated. I despise being told what to do. I curse like a sailor. I have little to no patience with drama and bullshit. I sometimes have a short temper. When I was a kid I cut school and got caught stealing. I made prank calls with friends. I got drunk with friends when I was a teenager. I’m definitely flawed; no ands, ifs or buts about it.

But no matter how flawed, I have a big heart. I am very sensitive; empathetic and empathic. I feel other people’s pain and it drains me. I care too deeply about the people in my life. If you cry you will not cry alone because I will cry with you. I am honest and trust-worthy. I am loyal. I would never hurt a child. I have never killed anyone. I don’t do drugs. I’m not an alcoholic. I wear a seatbelt in my car and I always insist others wear one too if they are in my car. I try to show everyone respect until they disrespect me. I love animals. I’m not a bully. I try to help other people if I can. I say please and thank you. I taught my kids to say please and thank you. I’ve been a caregiver most of my life. I try not to judge anyone, but if you’re an asshole, you bet your ass I will judge you on that alone! I’m frugal and I live a simple life. I don’t need expensive things, and I appreciate everything I have.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of me, I am still me. I will walk my own truth and I won’t look back at those people who have judged me unfairly.

I know who I am, and I’m a good person.

 

15 Things About Me You May or May Not Know…. Do You Really Want To Know??

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I am reluctant to write this post for fear off coming off as arrogant. It just feels odd to write a personal “about me” post. But, my therapist has told me time and time again to step out of my comfort zone! So here I am and here’s my list of 15 things you may or may not know about me.

  1. I despise people who claim to be Christian but are actually very hypocritical and self-righteous. They present themselves as good and honest but yet they say and do exactly the opposite of what Jesus would do. If you’re going to “talk the talk” then you’d better “walk the walk” is what I say, and very few actually practice what they preach.
  2. I am opinionated, but if I research something or someone helps me to see something I hadn’t seen before, I can and do sometimes change my mind. I tend to form opinions using common sense and logic, rather than political party, religious affiliation or anything else.
  3. I try to be honest and treat people with kindness even when they may not deserve it. I was raised to be respectful of other people, but sometimes when I’m disrespected I let ’em have it!
  4. I swear like a sailor. It relieves frustration. I do have class, though. I don’t just go around blurting out my favorite “F” word in public, on the internet, or if I have guests, although I have slipped a time or two especially when provoked.
  5. I have chronic pain and mobility issues. Many people don’t understand what people with chronic illnesses go through on a daily basis. Everything is a struggle; everything is exhausting. Research “The Spoon Theory” and you will find a very understandable explanation of what it’s like to live with chronic pain.
  6. I have two grown children, male and female, ages 27 and 30 respectively. I have 3 grandchildren, two boys, and one girl.
  7. I use to love to cook and I still would if it weren’t for my pain and mobility issues. I love Mexican food, Italian food and pretty much anything that is spicy!
  8. I live in the Bible Belt of SW Missouri and I don’t fit in. I have more Pagan views than anything else. Most people here are Christians.
  9. I try not to judge people. Everyone has a different journey; everyone has to make different choices in their lives. While I try really hard to NOT be judgmental, I can be at times and not over the things you might think. I don’t care about sexual orientation, religion, or color of skin. (A person’s character is more important to me.) What I will judge someone on is, if they leave a small child in a car (hot or otherwise) for 2 hours. Things like that tell me that a person is a worthless POS and doesn’t deserve children. HOW on EARTH can anyone forget their child is in the car?? I will damn right judge you if you don’t put your children first, all the time!
  10. I listen to hard rock, metal, classic rock, and Celtic music. I almost always have music playing. Music can change my mood from shitty to happy in an instant. Music brings back many memories; some memories I’d like to forget, but past experiences (good and bad) make me who I am. I may not like ME sometimes, but what else can I do but carry on?
  11. My favorite sounds in the world are babies (or small children) laughing, and cats purring!
  12. I am contemplating writing a cookbook, but I have so many recipes it’s rather overwhelming!
  13. I love Medieval History and castles, especially the castles of Scotland!
  14. I love to write although I don’t think I’m particularly good at it.
  15. I have 6 cats and would have more if it weren’t for my disability. It’s difficult the way it is taking care of the 6 I have.

So, I don’t know how any of this sounds to an outsider. I may sound like a complete a**hole. I don’t know. If you want to know more about me, then feel free to ask in the comments and I will do my best to answer!

“Aurora”

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Have you ever felt like a total dweeb because of your phone? Or some other electronic device? Perhaps you have an app that drives you nuts or makes you feel stupid?

I had an appointment yesterday and when it was over it was after 1 pm and Dad and I were famished. We were headed to a restaurant we had never eaten at before. I would have Googled it ahead of time, but my therapist had recommended it as my appointment was ending. It was called Texas Roadhouse.

I brought it up on Google maps on my phone and pressed “start” to activate Google’s voice assistance, whom I call “Aurora.” This voice doesn’t have a name at all, unlike Apple’s Siri, Microsoft’s Cortana and Amazon’s Alexa. She’s known only as Assistant. She has no identity. How sad is that? Anyway, I named her “Aurora.” By the end of this search for the restaurant, I was ready to punch “Aurora” in the face!

I proceeded as directed by “Aurora.” Now the exact instructions she gave may be off, but you’ll get the gist.

“Continue on US 160 and take the MO-13 S exit.” 

Done. Easy enough.

“Proceed to left turn lane and turn left onto S. Campbell Ave.”

Done. Ok. This isn’t too difficult. Yay!

“Make a U-turn at El Camino Alto.”

Crap. A U-turn? Why didn’t we just get off the freeway further down, I wondered. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about a U-turn. Ok. U-turn made.

“In 600 feet, turn right onto W. Cardinal.”

Wait. What? What street? Didn’t see any street called Cardinal. Obviously, I missed it.

“Make a U-turn at Republic Road.” What she really meant was, “Now you have to turn around and try again dummy.”

Ok. Aurora is directing me to turn around. Let’s try this again. Ok, back to the U-turn at El Camino Alto.

“In 600 feet, turn right onto W. Cardinal.” What she really meant was, “Let’s try this again, dumb ass.”

Crap. Where’s the road? There it is but I’m in the wrong lane. Too much traffic. Missed it again.

“Make a U-turn at Republic Road.” What she really meant was, “Are you freaking stupid? You missed it again!”

Here we go again. Got it. Back to that U-turn at El Camino Alto.

“In 600 feet, turn right onto W. Cardinal.” What she really meant was, “Don’t miss it this time you idiot!”

Yeah, yeah. Got it this time. CRAP. Argh!! This road is the freeway! Grrr…… What the heck is going on? Now that I’m back on the freeway, we see the sign for the restaurant. Ok. Now I have an idea where it is, maybe I can find it without “Aurora.” Tried my best to get over there, still kept getting in the wrong place. At this point, “Aurora” is telling to go here or go there, but I am ignoring her. I can hear her screaming at me, “ARE YOU DEAF? You gigantic dweeb!” Of course, she’s not really screaming at me or calling me names, but boy howdy, I bet she was thinking it!

I finally ended up back on the original road and U-turn. Let’s try this again. Before we got to the U-turn, we noticed there IS a road that we missed, but in our defense, it actually looked like a driveway to the Subway located there and the road sign was hard to see.

Ah-ha!!! Made the U-turn, made that right hand turn onto W. Cardinal and we were on our way. Good thing, because we were starving!! There’s the restaurant!! Yay! Pulled up and parked. We wondered why there were no cars in the lot…. Then we read the sign. Dammit! It’s one of those places that open only for dinner: 4 pm to 10 pm. Seriously? It was only 2 pm! Crap. All that work for nothing.

We were just going to go back to the area of town we were familiar with to find a place to eat when we noticed FD’s Grillhouse not too far from the Texas Roadhouse. Sounds like a plan!! It was actually open! Yay!

We both decided on a shrimp platter, mine with batter-fried shrimp and Dad’s with grilled shrimp. We both got a baked potato. I had cole slaw and Dad had broccoli. I was so parched I drank 3 glasses of iced tea! Dad had his Merlot. I hate wine. It stinks and tastes awful. I almost had a beer, but I was too thirsty.

When our meal came, it was just in the nick of time! I think my stomach was ready to eat itself. The food was great! The baked potato could have been much hotter but the shrimp was delicious!

I’m glad “Aurora” was no longer ‘with’ us. I don’t think I could stand her judgmental little thoughts (imagined by only me) throughout lunch. Whew! What a day!