Earworm – The Final Countdown & It’s The End Of The World As We Know It ♫

The song, The Final Countdown, got stuck in my head over the weekend. Dad and I were discussing the pandemic and how we’re all in this together. We agreed that the longer we ignore the science, the longer it will take to get this under control.

We spoke of the millions who have contracted COVID-19, and the millions who will die unnecessarily before this is over IF we all don’t band together and do what needs to be done. I mean, a few minor inconveniences seems a much better plan for the future than being on a ventilator and dying alone. The last thing that came out of my mouth, which nearly brought me to tears was, “If we don’t get our shit together, this could be our final countdown.”

And that’s all it took for this song to get stuck in my head for 2 days, and now regrettably, every time I hear the song I will think of the year 2020 and how we have failed.

No, I don’t think it’s the end of the world, but it’s quite possibly the end of the world as we know it…. Well, shit. Now that song is stuck in my head!

Friday’s Funnies – My Faves This Week

This week has been slow and boring, and we have to start all over again in a couple of days. Ugh. The only excitement was on Wednesday, when I sliced my damn finger open! Other than that? Same shit, different day… as they say.

Today marks our 124th day of staying home. I’m officially sick and tired of it. All I can do to keep from going completely nuts is to try to find the humor in everything; like when I dripped blood all over the kitchen floor because I didn’t realize I split my finger open for the 3rd time. The furkids were all sitting there watching me and looking at the bright red drops all over the floor. I wonder what they were thinking?

I’ll be starting something new in August. Each week, your vote for your favorite funny will go up against the previous week’s favorite, and at the end of the month I’ll post the winner. If that makes sense…hahaha. I’m not sure how I’ll work it out quite yet so be patient…and forgiving if it doesn’t work out!

I hope this week’s funnies will make you laugh or at least smile. I think we all need something to laugh about! I know I sure do! Enjoy, my friends!

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Well, which one was your favorite this week? I like ‘Ostrich’ because we have a board on our catio that has a face on it and it always makes me laugh. I’ll have to share it with you sometime. I also like ‘Auto-correct’ because “it’s never duck.” I despise auto-correct and turned it off on my phone!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s funnies! I also hope next week is a good one for you. This past few months have been hard on all of us. Let’s keep moving forward and be there for one another. We’re all in this together!

Adios, over & out, friends!

10 Things I’d Do If I Were Rich…

Have you ever thought of what you would do if you were suddenly rich? My lifestyle wouldn’t really change much except for the fact that I’d live more comfortably than I am now. I’d still live a simple life because I don’t need a lot to make me happy.

It was difficult to put things in order but I did it according to a) necessity, b) community service, and c) desire. What would your list look like?

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1. Necessity: I would have a new house built to my specifications and trust me, it is an absolute necessity because our current house has many problems, including a crumbling foundation! Our new house would be handicap accessible, spacious and functional. By spacious I don’t mean big. I mean room to get around comfortably and many cabinets, shelves, and closets. There would be ample counter top space in the kitchen and bathroom.

2. Necessity: I would have my knee surgery because I’d have the money to pay for the best surgeons! I’d have the money to pay for physical therapy before and after surgery, and I’d also be able to pay for in-home help while I’m recovering. The in-home help would also help with taking care of my Dad.

3. Necessity: I would definitely help my children and their families get ahead in life. I’d set up college funds for each of my 4 grandchildren, and future grandchildren, as well. I’d help my sisters and their families with whatever they’d need help with.

4. Community Service: I would donate to local charities to help my community. I would seek out the neediest children in my community and provide what they need; clothing, coats, shoes, etc., and if their families had a hard time paying their electric bill, then I’d be able to help them with that, too.

5. Community Service: I would love to be in the position to feed the hungry, no matter where they are. No one should go hungry in this country, regardless of their employment status or anything else.

6. Desire: In my home, I’d have a library! One large room, with room for a few tables and chairs for the grandchildren to do homework, and for me to do my writing and research.

7. Desire: I’d have a nice yard with a crew to come in the do the landscaping and maintenance. Let’s not forget a nice space for a raised garden. If I got my knees fixed then I’d be doing most of the gardening myself! Except the weeding…I hate pulling weeds!

8. Desire & Community Service: I’d open a Pet Rescue for dogs and cats. They’d all be spayed and neutered and get medical treatment, and re-homed to caring families! I’d recruit volunteers to give the animals attention, and I would pay several veterinarians for their services.

9. Desire: I’d finally get my Mercury Cougar! It would be a beautiful shade of purple with black interior. It would be the most comfortable ride in the county!

10. Desire: This is last on my list because I really don’t have to go, but I’d take a trip to the UK. I’d spend the most time in Scotland, of course. I don’t know why Scotland has my heart but it’s been this way for many years. It calls to me, so I feel if I get the chance to go, I must. Perhaps it should be a necessity then? Hmm…

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Other than those things, my life would be about the same. I’m not very social anymore, so there won’t be any partying. My tastes aren’t too extravagant so furnishings won’t cost a fortune. I don’t want or need fancy clothes or expensive jewelry. I’m not looking to impress anyone, never have been that way. I just want to live my life in comfort, but not in the way rich people live. Just simple, down-to-earth comfort. I want to contribute to society and perhaps make someone else’s life a little easier, too. I just want it to be easier to be me.

If My Cats Had Human Voices

When I talk to my cats, but mostly when Dad talks to them, I use a different voice for each cat and answer for them. Sounds weird, but it sure makes us laugh!

I got to thinking about the celebrity voices that might fit my cats’ personalities. This is what I came up with:

Kitty, our senior cat.

Kitty, our senior cat, would definitely have the voice of Katharine Hepburn. Kitty has that head-tremor thing going on, sort of. Her head is always bopping around, like a bobble head you’d put in the rear window of your car. And she’s old, like Hepburn in On Golden Pond.

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Honey Bear, Southern Belle

Honey Bear would definitely have a Southern accent. I don’t know why but it just seems right for her. She’d be a little bit of a ding bat and have a lot to say. She would definitely sound like Charlene (Jean Smart) from Designing Women.

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Alice, silent but knowledgeable.

Alice would have the voice of Marisa Tomei from the movie, My Cousin Vinny. Why? Because Alice knows a lot and if she could talk she’d have a lot of important information to pass along. I think she’d be a bit of a tattle-tale, to tell you the truth!

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Jack, tough guy and coward.

Jack was the hardest to figure out. He’s a tough guy, picking fights with the ladies of the house but he’s a big freakin’ coward if someone comes over or just knocks on the door. I chose James Cagney for Jack’s voice. I think it fits. Cagney was a tough guy. If you’ve seen any of his movies you know what I mean.

But then a scene from my favorite Cagney movie fit with Jack’s cowardly side. In this scene of Angels With Dirty Faces, Rocky Sullivan heads to the electric chair but previously his childhood friend, now Priest, begs Rocky for one last favor. You see, there are a group of punk kids who admire Rocky but Father Connolly doesn’t want the boys to follow Rocky’s same path. He doesn’t want the boys to see Rocky as a hero but instead, as a coward.

So, those are the voices my cats would have if they had human voices. What voices would you tag your pets with, if they had human voices?

The Ex-Files – “It Hurts Me Too Much”

When the kids and I left CP behind in California, we had no idea what was ahead of us but we were hopeful. I was hopeful in a new beginning for me and the kids were hopeful that their “Pop” would be coming soon behind us. I knew that wasn’t going to happen but I let them hope. They were excited about the plane trip, the 3 week stay at my sister’s house, and our new house when it was ready for us to move in.

We moved into our new home (which was built in the 50’s but had been remodeled) in early September and the kids loved that they had a huge yard (many acres) to run and play in. The house was small and they had to share a room, but they were little yet. They didn’t care.

I had written CP a letter while we were staying at my sister’s house in August to say a few things that I needed to get off of my chest. I made it perfectly clear that it was over and if he chose to come out here, he would not be living with us. I encouraged him to call, send cards, gifts, etc., to the kids because after all he was still their father. I offered to send him newspapers from the area with truck driving job offers in case he did move out here to be close to the kids. I would never try to keep a man from his children unless he was a sexual predator or a murderer, or something equally as sinister. CP wasn’t a bad person; he was just a dumb ass who never learned how to be a parent, or an adult either for that matter.

Our first Christmas in Missouri, CP sent the kids bicycles. I was surprised, as you can imagine, and hoped that this would be the start of him actually trying to be a parent. I wasn’t working yet so I was broke but I made sure the kids made their “Pop” Christmas cards and other artwork as gifts. He managed to call and wish them a Merry Christmas, which made me happy for the kids. They were excited to hear from him. When we had our first snow that year I sent photos of the kids and their very first snowman! We didn’t have snow where we lived in California, so the kids were excited. They were equally excited to share the photos with their “Pop.”

Each holiday that rolled around, I made sure the kids took the time to make cards and other artwork for CP. It didn’t matter what the holiday was; they sent him a card on Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, 4th of July, etc. I sent him school photos, photos I had taken, and copies of their report cards and notes from teachers, etc. We even picked out little gifts for his birthday. He sent a card or two and called a couple of times but the times we heard from him was few and far between.

SR’s first birthday here in Missouri was a fun one. We went to the Animal Paradise, which is a drive-thru zoo! My daughter had chicken pox and I didn’t realize it until late in the day. I always wondered how many kids she gave it to! My son, CF, had it within the next couple of days so they were completely covered with pox and calamine lotion! CP called them during that week, and they were so excited to tell him about their “spots all over” and the trip to the zoo! After they finished talking to him it was my turn. I knew he would have questions because they were talking so fast he probably couldn’t catch half of it!

I answered his questions and told him how much the kids missed him and that he really should try and call more often because they really enjoyed talking to him. His response: “It hurts me too much.” I about came unglued. I responded back in a not-so-nice tone of voice, “YOU? It hurts YOU too much to call and talk to them? How the fuck do you think THEY feel when they don’t hear from you? Do you think it makes them feel good that their Pop doesn’t call or send them cards anymore?” He started to speak but I cut him off because I knew what was coming. “Don’t you dare put the blame on me! Yes, I took the kids and left you. That’s no excuse for you to not stay in touch with your own children!” The conversation, as you can imagine, didn’t last long after that.

I continued to encourage the kids to draw pictures and make cards. I continued sending CP photos and report cards from school. We were here about 2 years when I finally stopped. As I mentioned before, he never acknowledged anything we sent. If the kids came up with the idea on their own to make “Pop” something, then I helped them in doing so but I stopped dropping the idea in their path. He never acknowledged any of the gifts, artwork, or cards anyway. Not once. Not one thank you. I didn’t expect him to thank ME but it would have been nice for the kids to hear those words!

We never heard from him again until he called regarding his court ordered child support 10 years after we had been here. You can read about that here. Now the kids are grown with children of their own, and he hasn’t made any effort to get in touch with them. He most likely never will.